719. Tropetails, Books and Drinky Chatting with Amanda

[intro]

Sarah Wendell: Hello there. Welcome to episode number 719 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, Amanda is with me, we are sampling Tropetails cocktail mixes, and we’re discussing what we’re reading, what we’re playing, and what books we’re looking forward to in the coming months.

Now, we’re not getting paid to promote Tropetails; we received free samples – and they are delicious. You can get ten percent off of Tropetails drink mixes with code SBTBTROPES – there will be a link in the show notes.

And there will also be links to all of the books that we talk about. I will also have links to all of the games that we mention, because I know many of you love to play the same kind of games that Amanda does.

I have a compliment this week.

To Meaghan C.: If there is ever an apocalypse or, like, a really big storm, many people will immediately look to you for pragmatic decisions and supportive optimism, and also that thing you make for dinner? Because it is delicious.

If you would like a compliment of your very own, have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches! Support for the show keeps me going, makes sure we have an artisan, handcrafted transcript from garlicknitter, helps me procure  new issues of  Romantic Times magazine, and your support keeps the dynamic ads from before and after the show on new episodes far, far away, because I turned them all off, thanks to Patreon support. Thank you, y’all! The Patreon community is full of some of the nicest humans. We would love to have you join us: patreon.com/SmartBitches.

Support for this episode comes from The Undergrads: Student Union by number one New York Times bestselling author Julie Murphy, a sexy new rom-com about a college marriage of convenience that goes way beyond Chemistry 101.

Clover Rowan Walsh knows The Plan: 1. Get a full ride to her dream school, Wexley University. 2. Conquer the school of business. 3. Say good-bye to the paycheck-to-paycheck life she and her mom have known for years. There’s just one hiccup: with the first semester rapidly approaching, Clover learns her housing grant has fallen through. But a loophole presents itself! Married couples can live in the dorms for the price of one student. Clover is willing to sacrifice the sanctity of marriage, even if it means proposing to the one person she swore she would never speak to again, Bennett Andrew Graves.

Bennett can’t refuse Clover, the girl he grew up and whom he completely devastated years ago. He owes her this, but that does not change the fact that these two can barely carry on a conversation without getting at each other’s throats. Forget about sharing a dorm – much less one bed.

But as Clover and Bennett hide the true nature of their marriage, they find that playing house isn’t all that bad – especially with certain marital benefits in the mix. In fact, Clover and Bennett are soon forgetting that the most important part of their fake marriage of convenience is that it’s supposed to be fake!

With tropes like forced proximity and friends-to-enemies-to-lovers, you will not want to miss this first book in a new trilogy of romance novels that follows a group of girls as they navigate love, friendship, and new adulthood. Ali Hazelwood calls The Undergrads: Student Union “one addictively swoony book.” The Undergrads: Student Union by Julie Murphy is available now wherever books are sold.

Support for this episode comes from Hatch. You know how when you finish a romantasy and you just need the next thing immediately? Hatch has made that thing. It’s called Ophelia, an original audio drama inspired by Hamlet, where Ophelia finally gets to be the main character. Forbidden magic, a crumbling kingdom, a slow-burn love triangle with a prince and a very guarded, very intriguing best friend. The kind of love triangle where you will absolutely pick a side, and you will not be quiet about it. Book one of the three-part series is now available for free wherever you stream, with new chapters dropping every Tuesday. For books two and three, check out hatch.co/Ophelia, or find the link in the show notes. And as a treat, I have a sample of chapter one at the end of this episode so you can experience Ophelia for yourself. Thank you to Hatch for sponsoring this episode.

Are you ready to talk books and videogames and what we’re looking forward to? Let’s do this: on with the podcast.

[music]

Sarah: Well, thank you for joining me for a, a, a very casual discussion where we rant and also drink!

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: So we’re, we’re drinking special shit today. We were sent special drink mixes called Tropetails.

Amanda: I’m going to get mine.

Sarah: I will have to, I will have to swap my video, ‘cause I realize mine is backwards.

Amanda has Tropetails Horror, and I have Tropetails Romance. Now, tell me about the Horror.

Amanda: So mine is cherry citrus.

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: And I think the directions are the same, where you combine two teaspoons of the powder into eight ounces of sparkling or flat water with ice, stir thoroughly, and enjoy your bookish treat. And then they also recommend what kind of alcohol to add?

Sarah: Yes. What, you, what are you supposed to put in yours?

Amanda: Mine is whiskey or bourbon, which I don’t…

Sarah: Yeah, I was just going to say, I bet that makes a really nice sort of Old Fashioned type flavor.

Amanda: Yeah, which we didn’t have any on hand, so we’re just rawdogging it with water.

Sarah: [Laughs] And how do you like it rawdog with water?

Amanda: I like a sour, tart flavor? So if you like sour candy –

Sarah: Or a Whiskey Sour.

Amanda: Yeah! – I think you would like this. It reminds me of, like, SweeTARTS almost.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: Yeah. It’s not like –

Sarah: Wilbur.

Amanda: So – [laughs] – it’s not an aggressive sour, but it’s definitely, like, it’s not sweet.

Sarah: It’s just a little bit of –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah. That’s –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: That’s, that’s actually my favorite type of mix with a whiskey or a bourbon. I’m not big on whiskey or bourbon ‘cause, tends to make me hurl. Not as bad as vodka, but oof.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: So I have Tropetails Instant Classic Love at First Sip Romance Flavor, and this is a lavender berry spritz. Now, Amanda was like, Oh, I don’t like, like lavender; it sometimes tastes like soap.

Amanda: I don’t like a botanical, floral –

Sarah: So, I have mine. It’s very pretty. Look how pretty that is.

Amanda: Yeah, it is.

Sarah: Isn’t that gorgeous? It’s like a light pink-y lavender. It kind of smells a little bit – [sighs] – it kind of reminds me like a really fruity – not a Cosmo, but, like, one of those fruity drinks with, with gin. I have a, a tiny bit of gin – ‘cause it is the middle of day; I cannot be day-drinking that hard.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: It’s so nice. It’s just a little –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – tart. It doesn’t taste like soap. It has, like, I, I’m guessing it’s –

Amanda: That’s always my fear when anything with lavender –

Sarah: – strawberry, it looks like there’s a strawberry and then, like, lavender? And it does taste, it’s like – okay, you know what it is? It’s got pink Starburst energy.

Amanda: Oooh!

Sarah: That’s kind of what it is. Like, just –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – a little tart. But the fun thing is, with the package – and we are not being paid for this. The, the person at Tropetails, whose name is Maggie, she sent us to try and was like, Please, like, enjoy these on the, on the podcast. So we’re not being paid for this; we’re just drinking, on purpose. First of all, she sends you a little card that shows that she and her cat packed the package. There is a little postcard to tell you how to make the drinks, and then this is my favorite part: there’s a little, We Get Bookworms Buzzed napkin and coaster? And I think these are so cute. Like, this is on my desk.

Amanda: Very cute.

Sarah: So thank you, Maggie and, and Sarge, who is the Chief of Chaos.

I need, do I need to change your name to Chief of Chaos? I think I do; I think I need to change Wilbur’s name.

Amanda: They also have one more flavor which we didn’t get –

Sarah: Ooh! There’s a sticker –

Amanda: – which is the –

Sarah: – Bottoms Up, Bookworms!

Amanda: – fantasy genre, and that one’s Coconut Mango Splash.

Sarah: Yes! I am not a coconut person in any iteration. I think coconut either tastes like wax or smells so much like sunscreen I just – coconut is not a flavor that I gel well with, so I was not going to go for that one, but I think, given how good this is, if you like coconut you will like that very much. So cheers!

Amanda: I feel like I’m the same way about coconut? It depends! Sometimes it’s totally fine.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: I’m good. Like, Costco has these, like, sorbets that they put in, like, fruit shells, essentially, like a lemon rind filled with, like, pomegranate sorbet? And they have –

Sarah: I love that.

Amanda: – a coconut one that I thought I would hate, but it’s so, like, creamy and delicious?

Sarah: Oooh!

Amanda: So.

Sarah: Okay, maybe I need to try that, ‘cause I do live very close to Costco and have strong feelings about trying all the things at Costco.

Amanda: Yeah. It, they’re good.

Sarah: Oh, I have a Costco recommendation for you, actually.

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: They have a yakisoba frozen packet. It is so wild to me that this works. It is not necessarily like a dinner portion, but it is a big lunch portion, and it is noodles, flavor – like, flavor stuff – and some vegetables that have been flash-frozen, and you steam it, you cut a corner off the bag and you steam it in the microwave, and you dump it in a bowl. It’s really good. Like, it’s a –

Amanda: Okay.

Sarah: – very sat- – it’s a lot of, like, the vegetables aren’t, like, soggy and flabby? They stay a little bit crispy – I think they’re flash-frozen raw. It’s really good. I, I have to check the box to see if there’s gluten in it, because I know some soba does not have gluten. I don’t –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – I have to check to see on the box if it’s gluten-free?

Amanda: Well, Brian can get fucked; I can eat it, so.

Sarah: Okay! Well, listen, if you need, like, a quick, you, you’re craving noodles but you also want to have, like, the, the virtue of a couple of vegetables? This is a great choice.

Amanda: They, one thing that we buy at Costco religiously is their cauliflower crust pizzas? If you have –

Sarah: Oh, really!

Amanda: Yeah, if you’ve got a gluten-free friend in your life, celiac disease, whatever, their cauliflower crust pizzas are pretty good.

Sarah: Oooh!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: I am pretty sure that we have a coupon, before I forget, and I will obviously put this in the, in the show notes. But I am pretty sure that we have a coupon code. Yes, I do! Okay, good job, Sarah. I should have had this ready at the beginning, but I’m very professional; you can tell.

If you would like to order your own Tropetails – woohoo! – you can get ten percent off any order with the code SBTBTROPES. And I will make sure to put that in the show notes, and if, when I do the video I’ll put it on the screen, but SBTBTROPES gets you ten percent off. Thank you very much to Maggie and Sarge! This is actually delicious, and I’m delighted to be recording a very snarky episode while drinking.

Amanda: They also have cocktail and mocktail recipe books if, you know, you want –

Sarah: If –

Amanda: – something else.

Sarah: – if you need, if you need – actually, you know what, this would be such a nice gift? Like, get a, a, a Tropetails set and then pair it with a book, and boom, gifting, done. Especially with how much people love book accessories? Like, all of the accessories to go with a book –

Amanda: Oh my gosh, yeah.

Sarah: – now are just beyond my wildest dreams of all of the things that you can accessorize a book with. This would be perfect.

Okay. So what have you been reading? I want to, I want to talk about what we’ve been reading and upcoming books we want to read.

Amanda: So what I’ve been reading is mostly nothing. [Laughs]

Sarah: Oh nooo!

Amanda: Mostly nothing.

Sarah: Oh no!

Amanda: My brain is so fried, every time I try to start to read something it’s like I’m reading the same page over and over because nothing, nothing is getting – [laughs] – nothing is getting where it needs to be.

But I have been reading a lot of webtoons. I’m still on my webtoons kick. And there’s one that I’m obsessed with that I need to update faster.

[Laughter]

Amanda: There’s only, I think, like forty chapters –

Sarah: Oh no!

Amanda: – and I’m like, if this comes out in a packaged volume like some of the other webtoons that I’ve read, where they, you know, there’s like a hundred and fifty chapters at this point, and they’ll put them in, like, you know, manga, graphic novel volumes?

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: If this turns into that, I am buying it immediately. So the webtoon is called Flower of Allure or Flowers are Bait, depending on what site you’re reading it at. And it’s about an arborist who discovers a man committing a murder in the woods, and she obviously freaks out. The man sees her, a chase ensues, and she knocks him unconscious.

Sarah: Oh!

Amanda: And the – [laughs] – the serial killer murder man, who is now unconscious, is part of, like, a very well-to-do family, and his brother gets wind that this arborist has knocked him unconscious and makes a deal with the lady of, Okay, I can turn you in and, you know, maybe even pin the forest murder on you that my brother committed. Or you can keep my brother’s comatose body in your attic, all, hooked up to all this medical equipment, you know, house him, and then we’re fine! So she’s like, Okay, I’ll keep your brother’s comatose body in my attic. And then the murder man wakes up and has amnesia. Has no –

Sarah: …he doesn’t remember anything, and he’s like, Why the hell am I in your attic? And what are –

Amanda: And so her –

Sarah: – all these trees?

Amanda: – her first inclination is, Oh, we’re married. You’re my husband, and that’s why you’re in my house. So now she’s this arborist who has to, like, pretend she’s married to this serial killer who has no memory while, like, feeding him lies of like, Yeah, we’re totally married! Here’s, you know, don’t you remember when we did this and that? And – it’s –

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: – so good. It’s so good.

Sarah: It sounds so soapy!

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Like, did the whole, did the whole well-to-do family know that he was out killing people?

Amanda: Yes.

Sarah: Is he killing people for a reason or just, does he just like to kill people randomly? Like, does he stalk –

Amanda: I haven’t gotten that far yet.

Sarah: Okay. ‘Cause I feel like in order to, like, looking at this structurally, in order to make this person the hero, there has to be some element of, I don’t want to say good, but, you know, motivation towards something positive in the killing like they’re, they’re only killing the very worst of the worst, or whatever? Otherwise, just, like, I randomly, indiscriminately kill people is real hard to overcome from a hero perspective. I could be –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – very wrong, though.

Amanda: So that has not been explained so far in what I’ve read.

Sarah: Oh my gosh.

Amanda: I’m not caught up to the forty chapters yet, by the way, so it could have been explained in the catch-up, but yeah. So I’m obsessed with it. I can only read like one chapter a day on the app that I use, which is Manta, M-A-N-T-A. But it is, I love the art; the art is so good. I love the main character, the arborist, who just, like, loves trees.

Sarah: Ah!

Amanda: Just loves trees, just wants to take care of trees. And then this psycho-amnesiac that she has to house for an unspecified amount of time!

Sarah: I love how these are the options. Okay, either I turn you in for knocking my serial-killer-in-the-woods brother unconscious, or you set him up like the comatose president in the movie Dave, but in your attic.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Those are the only two choices you get.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: I love how it starts at such a high bar of Wait, what? [Laughs]

Amanda: It’s also a little smutty, so if you like your –

Sarah: Oooh!

Amanda: – comics on the, the spicier side, it is a little smutty.

Sarah: How are you not, like, charging through this? How are you still not caught up?

Amanda: Because, like, here’s the thing: you know, it takes – I, like, subscribe to, like, their monthly membership and you get –

Sarah: Right.

Amanda: – you know, like, currency –

Sarah: Mm-hmm!

Amanda: – and you have to, like, budget your currency to, like –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – unlock new chapters. So –

Sarah: Oh yeah. Been there with Webtoon.

Amanda: – that’s how – yeah – that’s, that’s why, is, like – [laughs] just –

Sarah: Budgetary –

Amanda: I’m not –

Sarah: – concern.

Amanda: I’m not budgeting my currency wisely. ‘Cause then I’ll get distracted by something else and, like, Oh, I’ll just unlock all of these episodes.

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: So – but yeah, so good. A lot of these webtoons start off as like web novels in Korean? Where they’re like serial novels?

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: So there is also a novel version that you can read on Manta as well. If you’re just like, I don’t want to deal with toons, just, I just want to read a book, there is a book version which came out first.

Sarah: Oh –

Amanda: It’s so good. I’m obsessed with it.

Sarah: Okay, this art is great!

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Oooh! Oh my gosh! I can understand why you’re totally down a rabbit hole with this.

Amanda: Yeah. But book-wise, everything’s just flying right at, right in one eyeball and out the other, essentially. [Laughs]

Sarah: I have tried and started and discarded so many books myself? It’s really frustrating. Like, I keep a list of things that I have ARCs to or things that I know are coming out that I want to read, and I’ll start them and I’ll be like, Fuck. Okay, moving on.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: [Sighs] Bummer, this isn’t grabbing me. And I, I, I honestly have seen enough people saying Why is nothing grabbing me right now? to think it’s not just me? And it, my, I might not be the problem either.

But I will say what I am reading – wait, before I switch to what I’m reading, have you been playing any videogames that you want to tell people about?

Amanda: Yes. Okay, so I just bought one yesterday that I plan to play after we’re done recording called Winter Burrow…

Sarah: Is it like borough as in town or burrow as in nest, as in, like, underground living space?

Amanda: Underground living space.

Sarah: Cool.

Amanda: >> Winter Burrow is a cozy woodland survival game about a mouse returning home to restore their childhood burrow. Explore, gather resources, craft, knit warm sweaters, bake pies, and meet the locals!

And it looks very cute.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: Yeah. And then I’ve been playing a lot of this game that I bought: Librarian: Tidy Up the Arcane Library! And essentially you’re in an arcane library that’s two floors, and you have to put back like three thousand books to their respective shelves.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: And it’s just you picking up books, looking at the title, figuring out what section it needs to go to, putting it in the right spot. That’s all it is. And as you complete more shelves, you can get spells to make it a little easier. I hate the spells. They’re helpful, but I don’t want that kind of help. I like the tedium of doing it myself, and I think there’s an achievement to put all the books back without using any magic. So I’ll probably do that as a second playthrough. I saw people talking about it on Reddit ‘cause they were worried, like, Okay, you put all these books back; like, what’s the replayability? But some people, like, take it as, like, a challenge of, like, how fast can I do this? Some people are like, Okay, I’m only going to shelve section by section to do, like, one bookshelf at a time. So it’s very soothing. I’ve enjoyed playing it. I have seven hours on record? The game was five bucks.

So that’s what I’ve been playing. And I’ve been playing, like, a lot of visual novels and, like, otome romance games, which are, which have been nice!

Sarah: I think there’s a certain stage of stress in my brain where all I want to do is listen to the stupidest possible podcast episodes or listen to a book that I’m super into and do shit like shelve books, power wash a gnome’s ass –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – do, like, the most boring shit in Stardew Valley. Let me tell you, putting Stardew Valley on that big TV was oooh fun! I’m even wearing my Stardew Valley shirt! And I – [sighs] – I have now modded my Stardew Valley install on my PC so that there’s an automation, where if you put a machine next to a chest and you put the tools for that, like whatever that machine needs, you put the items for that machine needs in the chest, and it’ll automatically feed the machine? And it’ll automatically put the product back in the chest. So you can line up a whole bunch of them with a chest, or whatever you determine to connect them, and it’ll automatically harvest, it’ll automatically manufacture. So, like, I have all of these automations going just so I can get a lot of stuff? But I’ve set a goal that outside of two exact categories, I will not sell anything for a year, and then on like December, is it, the last day is De-, like Winter 20-cember? Wi-, Wi-, Winter 20-cember. Amazing.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Winter 27, I will sell – I mean, it’ll probably take me the whole fucking day to sell everything and see how much I have.

Amanda: Well, how can you sell it? Are you just going to bring it to, like, a shop? ‘Cause your storage box, does your storage box have unlimited slots to put, to sell in?

Sarah: Well, I just put it in the, in the bin! I just keep putting stuff in the bin. There’s no limit into how much you can sell in a day!

Amanda: I didn’t know if there was a limit or not.

Sarah: I don’t think so! But I’m trying to get, like, a number that’s so big that there aren’t enough numeral spaces for it? Like, the numbers just hang off the side. [Laughs] But I have all of this automation going all of the time, and then that means if I need a gift for somebody it works really well, ‘cause I know I have it? And I’ve done all of my chests by color, so the things that are that color go in that box, ‘cause I can never remember, oh, that fish is this one.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: There’s so many fish that are blue. Do you really think I can keep, keep them all, keep them separated in my brain? Nah, it’s a blue fish; just put it in the blue box and figure it out later. It’s great.

Amanda: I never do any automation. Like, I know automation is big in Minecraft. When my brother and I would play –

Sarah: Oh yeah!

Amanda: – he would, like, automate everything. I’m like, Ugh, I don’t care. I don’t care about automating anything. I’ll do it by hand; I would rather do it that way than figure out this stupid Redstone.

Sarah: One thing that I did was make it so that particular paths will connect sources to a chest. So I put that path in between all my trees in the greenhouse, and they just automatically harvest every day. A fruit’ll appear; it goes in the chest. So I don’t, like, if I forget to check and there’s already three fruit and I won’t grow anymore, doesn’t matter; I’ll just keep growing and growing and growing. It’s pretty lazy, but I really enjoy just, like, looking at all my automations, and then I’ll spend like the whole day fishing. It’s so fun. It’s very soothing.

There’s a very specific state of stress, I think, where I just want to do routine, relaxing things that aren’t super impactful or meaningful and don’t have a lot of emotions attached? Like, I’ll shelve books; I’ll power wash shit. It’s so very relaxing. I don’t even know if there’s a name for that type of game. But I love it. I just love it.

Amanda: I don’t know. I mean, like, Emma would play Animal Crossing all the time. I don’t know if she still plays, but she’s like, Oh, got to do my chores! But it’s like –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – you’re literally doing chores. That’s what –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – [laughs] – that’s what you’re doing!

Sarah: Oh yeah. And sometimes I want to do chores from a reclined position where I’m not actually moving, ‘cause I do enough chores during the day. I want some –

Amanda: Oh my God.

Sarah: – digital chores!

Amanda: For my birthday, Brian bought a, a stand for the Switch so I can lie –

Sarah: Oh, you told me!

Amanda: – I can lie prone in my bed, and the Switch is like this, hovering above my face –

Sarah: [Laughs in delight]

Amanda: – as I have the little Joy-Con controllers beneath the blanket, keeping my hands warm. It’s –

Sarah: [Laughs] I that with my Kindle, and I love it –

Amanda: – so great.

Sarah: – so much! I’m all snuggled, and I turn my page. [Gasps] I’m going to have to try that with a, with a controller. Oh my gosh! I love that.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: That’s a good gift.

Amanda: It’s great.

Sarah: What are you getting Brian for their birthday?

Amanda: I don’t know yet. I think you sent me one thing, but I asked what they wanted to eat for dinner. And so we’re –

Sarah: ‘Cause their, their birthday’s coming up, right? They’re a June, right?

Amanda: Yeah, they’re a June, early June. So we’ll be making gluten-free lasagna.

Sarah: Oooh.

Amanda: And then I found out gluten-free ladyfingers exist, so I can make a tiramisu, which is Brian’s favorite dessert. So –

Sarah: Hell yeah!

Amanda: – we’ll be eating lasagna and tiramisu for Brian’s birthday.

Sarah: It’s so funny to me how in like ten years, the amount of gluten-free options for people has just exploded. Like, I remember when I was in grad school, so that would have been like the late ‘90s, there was like one brand of cookies. I think there were Pamela’s. They were huge. You got like six in a box, and the box was like seven bucks. And you were like, are they really worth it? Am I really going to, like – and, and you can’t just, like, do what you would maybe normally do with a box of cookies, which is eat however many you want. You have to, like, you have to, like, schedule them and budget them because, you know –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – they’re so expensive, and you don’t get that many! And now it’s just, there’s so much stuff, which is so great!

Amanda: I think the one thing that we have yet to find an easy substitute for is garlic naan.

Sarah: Hmm!

Amanda: Brian misses eating naan when we get Indian food. And when we went to Disney World, one of their restaurants – I think, oh my God, what’s it called? – Sanaa has a gluten-free, like, bread service? So they had gluten-free naan. And we went there, and it was fine, but, you know, definitely not comparable to the real thing. So garlic naan is sort of the, the one thing that I think Brian misses. And also just, like, I’m sure people who have celiac or gluten-free can understand the inability to just go somewhere? You have to, like –

Sarah: Yes!

Amanda: – do research and –

Sarah: You have to plan and look at the menu and make – yes, yes. Having had food allergies for off and on, I understand it sucks so hard. And then I just got in the habit of reading the menu in advance anyway, because I just needed to know.

Amanda: Yeah. And not to be a Disney adult about it, but I will say Disney –

Sarah: No.

Amanda: – has been very good about allergies. Everything is clearly labeled. You can look ahead of time to see what is available to eat –

Sarah: Actually –

Amanda: – according to your allergy, so.

Sarah: I can’t remember where I saw this conversation, but I was just reading a whole con- – maybe, maybe a Discord I was in or maybe online – there’s a whole conversation about how people who make fun of Disney adults don’t understand how easy it is to go to Disney when you have a disability or a food allergy, because they are determined to make it accessible to everyone. It’s like, we don’t even have to like the rides. We can just go to Epcot and enjoy ourselves and, you know, just be in a place where we don’t have to worry about anything? And I’m like, you know what? I get it. I totally get it.

Amanda: Yeah, like they’ve got gluten-free, like, chicken tenders.

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: Oh yeah. And I’ve been to, like when we used to do, like, the Disney and, and Universal trip when my kids were younger, we would do Disney and then we would do Universal. And I like the rides at Universal better, but my God, you can slog through Universal for like forty-five minutes and not find a single Goddamn water bottle station! It’s like, wait, there is no bathroom here. I’m in the middle of some fake set, and there’s no services. I can’t get water; I’m thirsty; I don’t want to buy a soda. Like, what is happening? Disney’s like every two feet there’s something where there’s, there’s some way to make you more comfortable.

Amanda: A cart of some sort.

Sarah: Yes! It’s wild to me how different they are.

So let me tell you about what I’m reading.

Amanda: Yes!

Sarah: Okay, so I’m reading…

Amanda: Are we on like the fifth, fifth read of Platform Decay? Is that what we’re – [laughs]

Sarah: Excuse me! Fourth! I beg your pardon!

Amanda: Sorry, that was ambitious.

Sarah: Fourth!

Amanda: Five was ambitious.

Sarah: I’m busy, okay?

[Laughter]

Sarah: I’ve read Platform Decay, the new Murderbot, I read it before, like the week before it came out, just so, like, I, I would be ready to talk about it with people, but I wouldn’t have read it so far in advance where I was like, what the hell happened? ‘Cause, listen, my brain fog has been so bad.

Okay, I just, I just need to tell y’all who are in perimenopause that I understand how hard this is, because one of my ovaries is like twenty-eight days, twenty-seven days, twenty-eight, twenty-seven, on the nose. The other one is like, eh, may-, ah, ah, forty, forty-five, fifty day. So I’ll have like a normal cycle, and then I’ll have a cycle where I’m like, what is going on? Where is things happening? What – and then I get, I get just extended PMS, so I have, like, brain fog for a week. I have not remembered anything. I’ve had the same conversation with one of my kids three times, and they’re like, What’s wrong with you? And I’m like, Just get used to it.

[Laughter]

Sarah: So, you know, one of my ovaries is having a fire sale, and the other one is, won’t even get out of bed.

So my brain fog is so bad lately, I just didn’t want to read it too early because I would, like, try to talk about it or I’d try to review it, and I’d be like, Um, so there was a space and some stuff happened, and I don’t remember.

Amanda: There’s a robot.

Sarah: There’s a robot, yep! There’s totally a robot; you’re right about that.

So I read it twice, and then I read about a third of it while writing the review to make sure that I wasn’t spoiling too much, but I was giving a sense of, like, Yes, it’s good. Here are the themes. Here is one quote. Like, I didn’t want to spoil anything. Then on a whim, I looked in Libby, and the audio book was available from the –

Amada: That’s crazy.

Sarah: – Baltimore library, so I started listening to it? Audio, this series in audio is one of my favorites already, but the audio is even better than reading it, and I don’t know why. Like, I don’t understand it. There are a few phrases where – it’s like, we’ve talked about this: when I read a book, I hear it? You know, like, I hear the book in my head, usually in my voice? I heard or read some lines differently than the narrator does, but Kevin R. Free is so good at sort of – it’s, it’s one person’s, it’s one person’s perspective; it’s just Murderbot’s POV, except for, like, one short story, and Kevin R. Free is so good at sort of making a vocal differentiation between when Murderbot is just telling you what’s happening and when Murderbot is, like, trying to work something out and you just happen to be hearing it. So, like, the emotional parts and then the reporting parts sound slightly different.

I really hope that they hire Kevin R. Free to be the voice of ART for the rest of the series. I know they probably won’t; they’ll probably get, like, a big voice for it or a big name, but he’s so good at ART just being a total asshole. Like, it’s, he’s really good. Kevin R. Free is really good at it.

I also heard that – ‘cause Martha, Martha Wells has been doing a whole bunch of events for this; like, good for her? I hope this book sells so well? She said that the series is going to wrap up soon. She’s not sure how many more stories there are, and there isn’t an overarching, like, resolution. It’s not like, you know, the Corporation Rim is going to be brought down. It’s just, these are stories within this world that she created. But the second season of the Murderbot show is going to be part novellas two, three, and four. So the first one was All Systems Red, and then the next three novellas are going to be in that season. So they’re –

Amanda: Well –

Sarah: – going to go all the way up to the end – SPOILERS – where he rescues, where – all the way up to the end of Exit Strategy, when Murderbot rescues Mensah. And then that’ll be the end of the series so far, which, actually, if they’ve only got two seasons, and a lot of the time with streaming you only get two seasons ‘cause the third is usually when the contract gets better for everybody, so the streamer pulls the plug – assholes – that, that works really well, right? Did you watch the series? It’s so good.

Amanda: No. I think I’ve only read the first two Murderbots.

Sarah: Oh! Well, you know, I’ve read them all a few times. Can recommend!

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: So, yeah, now I’m in the middle of an audio re-listen to a book that I’ve just read twice, and I’m having a real good time.

Amanda: Well, good!

Sarah: I’m so happy. The other thing –

Amanda: That’s crazy. I could – [laughs] – like, I could never consume the same piece of media four times in a row, back to back to back.

Sarah: Really!

Amanda: No way!

Sarah: There are, like, I did that. That’s, that’s usually my bar for when something’s really good? Like, when I finished Act Like It by Lucy Parker, my first thought was, I need to read this again right now. And that’s a rare thing. It doesn’t happen often, but it happened with Murderbot, happened with Act Like It.

It happened with my other obsession, the Alpha and Omega series by Patricia Briggs? I reread Alpha and Omega and Cry Wolf, and then I went back and read the first two again when I reread them recently. That’s, man, that series has me in a chokehold right now?

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Like, all I want to do is read those, and I’m making myself not just sort of like unhinge my jaw and shove them straight into my brain, because I will Big Gulp the whole series, and I have other books that I need to read for purposes like interviews and reviews and, like, things I’m doing. All I want to do is read this series from like 2006.

Amanda: I mean, if you Big Gulp it, you can just do it all over again!

Sarah: That’s true, but I have other things I need to be reading! [Laughs]

Amanda: I guess, yeah.

Sarah: Okay, I will say –

Amanda: You have to prioritize.

Sarah: I will say though, I have an interview scheduled with Martha Wells?

Amanda: Oh, that’s right!

Sarah: I’m going to look at my calendar, make sure I remember where it is.

Amanda: You’ve interviewed Martha before, right?

Sarah: Yes! In October of 2020. I had to look it up. I felt like, I thought, like, oh, it had to be two years ago. No, it was 2020; it was six years ago! Do I remember time?

Amanda: Oh my God!

Sarah: I really, really don’t now. So yeah, I’m interviewing her on the 25th of May, so when this episode drops, I will be interviewing her on that Monday. And I’m going to email in advance and be like, Would you be willing to have like a super spoiler-y discussion so I can ask you questions about, like, things that happen inside Platform Decay? And I’ll just tag, like, this is spoiler-y. We’re going to talk about what happens in this book. If you haven’t read it, you know, go at your own, go at your own risk. I would love to have this, like, super spoiler-y, like, Can you explain this? What’s going to happen here? Like, I really want to just spoil the fuck out of this book and get into a really big…

Amanda: Now that you have her captive on a call? [Laughs]

Sarah: Yes! You’re locked in for this hour, and you’re going to answer all of my questions. She’s also such a great interview because she’s incredibly knowledgeable about her books, but she doesn’t seem to take them too seriously? Like, there are some authors where they get like, you can tell they get bent out of shape by all, by, by reader interpretation of their characters. Like, Diana Gabaldon seems to be that way a little bit. Anne Rice was definitely that way. She didn’t want any of us touching her, her characters. Nonononono. But she seems very chill about it. Like, I’ve sent her fan art before, and she’s been like, That was awesome!

Amanda: Awww!

Sarah: So I’m very excited about that.

But otherwise, if I don’t stop myself, I’m just going to read the Alpha and Omega series, which is weird for me, ‘cause those books are really violent. Like, people be dying all over the place in gory –

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: – and disgusting ways, and I’m like, Yeah, get him! Who am I?

Amanda: [Laughs] Yeah, see, what’s happening to you?

Sarah: What’s happening to me? I’m becoming more and more homicidal. I wonder why.

Amanda: [Laughs] Is that, like, a, a symptom of perimenopause?

Sarah: Yes, actually, I, I originally – I don’t know if I told you this – I originally got help from my OB/GYN and my endocrinologist because I told both of them, I’m angry all the time, and I can’t not be angry. And I’m usually a pretty chill, mellow, happy person. I mean, I’m, like, sarcastic, but I’m not, like, negative and, and just pissed off about everything. I wanted to kill my husband. I like him!

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: I like him, and I was like, I’m ready to just murder him. And both of them were like, Oh, yep, that’s perimenopause. Let’s talk about hormone replacement therapy. And now I –

Amanda: Okay!

Sarah: – feel much better, thank God! But, like, yeah, that was why I was angry all the time. I hated everyone; I hated everything. I was constantly biting my lips to keep from, like, just releasing all of my rage. I wanted to kill my husband. Like, it was, that was why I got hormone replacement therapy. So yes, that’s part of it.

Amanda: Okay!

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Are there books coming up that you might want to read?

Amanda: I have a list. I have seven of them.

Sarah: Oh, me too! Tell me your list; I want to hear.

Amanda: Okay. So I went through my Goodreads, and I have seven of them ranging from June – yes – late June to early October.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: So this is what we’re working with.

First one comes out late June, June 30th, The Winged Game by Sophie Kim. It is a fantasy sports romance? The main characters compete in a sport called Carriwitchet, which is like rugby, but you play it on animals? And the heroine, essentially, her career was ended; she was, like, suspended because of the hero. And this is like the one thing that she, like, really loves. This is like a, in my opinion, feels like a true enemies-to-lovers because she wants to get back into the sport so badly. The hero is, I think, like, the captain of a team that’s doing really badly, and so he’s like, Look, I’ll help you come back, but you have to help me with, you know, PR for my failing team. And so she sucks it up and says yes, but also in the background, the, like, creatures that they play on are, like, starting to get, like, really sick from this mysterious illness, so there’s, like, a mystery in the background? Anyway, pretty excited with the merger of, like, a sports romance and, like, a contemporary fantasy setting. So –

Sarah: The minute you said it’s a fantasy sports romance, I went, of course! That is, that is really –

Amanda: Of course!

Sarah: Of course! That’s brilliant! It’s all of the stakes of competition and doing weird shit with, you know, predatory animals, but it’s not like war and trying to kill the other person. You’re just trying to get the –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – get the, the sport part into the sport goal. Oh, that’s so smart!

Amanda: So there’s that one. And then –

Sarah: Right.

Amanda: – at the end of July –

Sarah: Right.

Amanda: – we have Kresley Cole’s new series. So Kresley Cole is doing like an Immortals After Dark spin-off? And that series is called Immortals Untold. And the first book Ravenous comes out at the end of July? I’ve heard this one is definitely a bit different than her other books because this feels more like, like A Game of Thrones? There’s, you know, like half a dozen characters, or I think even more, and they’re all sort of interconnected, and all of their stories –

Sarah: Hmm.

Amanda: – are intertwined and happening in tandem in the book. So –

Sarah: Ohhh! So it’s like everything’s happening all at once. It’s not like –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – this book is for these two, and this book is for these two. It’s everything is happening through all of the – ooh, that’s a lot to keep track of!

Amanda: Yeah. So it’s like, you know, this person is a queen, and her bodyguard is this person, but the bodyguard is the brother to this person. So, like, if you read the book description, you’ll get what I’m talking about. But I’m curious what that will be like and sort of seeing her try a new way of storytelling?

Sarah: She didn’t, she didn’t finish The Immortals After Dark –

Amanda: No.

Sarah: – right? Because there was supposed to be –

Amanda: It is not done.

Sarah: ‘Cause I know there were all of these, like, you know, there was the fantasy Amazing Race and all of these competitions and some time travel. And there was some big reckoning that was going to happen.

Amanda: The Ascension!

Sarah: Thank you!

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Did, did that not happen? Did we just sort of pause that for – that, that didn’t happen, right?

Amanda: The Ascension is on pause. Yeah, because –

Sarah: Okay.

Amanda: – like, the whole big thing with The Immortals After Dark is, like, where’s Nix’s book? Nix is, like, essentially like the soothsayer who’s –

Sarah: Oh yeah! Nucking futs Nick. Nix.

Amanda: Yeah!

Sarah: Yeahyeahyeah.

Amanda: Her book has not happened yet. So I feel like once her book shows up, that’s probably the end of the series or close to the end? But no –

Sarah: Has she written more books in The Immortals After Dark?

Amanda: Yeah! There was one a couple years ago. I think that was the last one? Let me see, Immortals After Dark. We’re up to nineteen? Nineteen books.

Sarah: Oh yes, book nineteen, Shadow’s Heart.

Amanda: Yeah, came out last year.

Sarah: Did you read it?

Amanda: No, I haven’t read the last three, so I’m behind.

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: No, sorry. I haven’t read the last two and a half. I haven’t read Munro, I haven’t read the novella, which is The Witch Queen of Halloween, and I haven’t read Shadow’s Heart, so I’m two and a half behind.

Sarah: Oooh! ‘Cause she’s, she’s publishing these, right?

Amanda: I don’t know if the – let me see.

Sarah: I th- –

Amanda: Book nineteen, yes, was published by her.

Sarah: Yeah. Wow. Okay, first of all, nineteen books is a big fucking series.

Amanda: Yeah.

Okay, and then, also at end of July, I keep seeing this author; I followed this author on social media. She got me, the algorithm got me.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Amanda: It’s called, it’s called Fervor by Meg Smitherman. It’s a dark sci-fi horror romance, and all of, like, the little pieces of fan art and quotes that she keeps, like, bread-crumbing me, like bread-crumbing on Instagram, have been so good.

Sarah: Ooh!

Amanda: So there’s, like, religious colonies in space and, you know, cults and…

Sarah: Ooh, got to love a good space cult.

Amanda: – horror stuff.

Sarah: You know space is ripe for lots of cults.

Amanda: Yeah. So, and it’s, you know, got some, like, Gothic romance undertones. I’m super excited about this one. End of July. So that’s summer.

Oh yeah! Oh yeah, so I’ve been reading a webcomic called Villains Are Destined to Die.

Sarah: You mentioned this one before, I think.

Amanda: Yes. Love it so much. I think I mentioned it on my best of 2025 list. The art is gorgeous. Volume nine comes out in August, so I’m excited for the next volume. To sum up, a woman is transported into a dating sim game, and she’s the villainess of the game, and in order to get out, she has to raise one of the love interests’ affection to one hundred percent. If they drop to zero percent, they have a chance of murdering her and she, she dies. If you die in the game, you die in real life. So she is like the villainess of the game who has to win over somebody so she can escape back to her real life. It is so good. The art is gorgeous.

As we move on: September. We’re in September now, everybody.

Sarah: It’s, it just started to be May. Like, come on.

Amanda: [Giggles] We’re in September now! This one’s called I Hope This Email Finds You in Hell.

Sarah: I’ve seen this one!

Amanda: It’s a paranormal romance, and this, like, late-twenties office worker walks in on her boss performing an exorcism on Debra from accounting. [Laughs]

Sarah: I mean, Debra had it coming.

Amanda: And she’s like, What? And the setup sounds great; the title sounds great. I don’t know, this one just sounds really fun. I feel like we’ve been seeing a lot of sort of horror paranormal fantasy matched with, like, corporate life –

Sarah: I have a phrase for this.

Amanda: – and corporate bureaucracy. [Laughs]

Sarah: I have a phrase for this. This is, I’ve been keeping, like, a little low-key list of, like, my continued predictions through 2026? One of the major new trends in multiple genres is what I’m calling magical bureaucracy.

Amanda: I love it!

Sarah: So like Megan Frampton has a book called Demons and Diplomacy. There’s all these, you know, ministry of this place, council of that place, and you have to work within this bureaucracy when magic starts going sideways or whatever. Magic, magical bureaucracy is a major trend right now?

Recently I spoke to the publicists at Penguin Random House about how to pitch for a podcast and what authors make good podcast guests, and I was sort of, like, explaining, you know, if there are some authors you get on the phone with and they’re just super easy to chat to, they have interesting things to say, you have a conversation with them, those people make good podcast guests because they just want to have a conversation. A lot of people sort of arrive to a podcast interview and sometimes really don’t know how to carry their side? And that makes, I mean, that’s my job as the host to make sure that there’s a good interview, but sometimes I’ve had guests where I’m just like, wow, I am just pulling teeth to get answers here.

The magical bureaucracy came up because they were like, Well, do you have any trends you’re noticing? And I was like, Well, first of all, the new title trend is The Occupation’s Support Documentation of Noun and Noun. So The Breadkeeper’s Bible of Mischief and Yeast. Like, there’s always a, a weird occupation and then their support document, a guide, a bible, a handbook, you know, a wiki. [Laughs]

Amanda: An encyclopedia.

Sarah: The Warlock’s Wiki is the next one.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: And the other thing that’s happening a lot is magical bureaucracy. So it’s sort of like we have this uncontrollable, incredible elemental power of some sort, and we have to build bureaucracy and oversight over it, and how that doesn’t work? I think that’s going to be a major theme for at least a year. That’s my the-, that’s my theory. But this fits right into that, and I’m so delighted, because I think magical bureaucracy books are really fun.

Amanda: Yeah. So there’s two more on my list. So the –

Sarah: Tell me, tell me, tell me!

Amanda: – other September title is Tempest by Victoria Aveyard. This is, I think, her first adult book?

Sarah: Oooh!

Amanda: And it’s, like, a pirate fantasy, and the publicity email I got describes it as:

>> A former noblewoman who faces execution for treason unless she helps the empire hunt their most wanted enemy, who is the last great pirate captain and the only man she has ever loved.

So –

Sarah: Hell yeah.

Amanda: – sounds pretty good. A little high seas adventure, and –

Sarah: If pirates equals yes, Amanda equals yes.

[Laughter]

Amanda: Yeah! Especially if they’re, like, fantasy pirates, for sure!

Sarah: Oh, hell yeah! Oh, for sure!

Amanda: And then the last one, which brings us to the beginning of October, is called Reap & Sow by Charlotte B. Plum. It’s, like, Faustian bargains. This woman is sort of, this woman and her brother work for, like, this mysterious demon known as Mr. Night, but then something happens to her brothers, and so the main character then has to make a deal with another demon to rescue her brothers, and this demon seems to, like, definitely be a little shady, and her, like, employer is, like, afraid of him, so she’s like, What’s the deal with this dude?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: Who did I just make a deal with?

Sarah: Yep. What did I just do?

Amanda: But they, the debut says it’s perfect for fans of Rachel Gillig, Hannah Witten, and Heather Fawcett? And I’ve enjoyed things by all three of those authors?

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: And I think it’s one of the first books from Berkley’s new imprint called Berkley XO, which is like New Adult, sort of, like, transitionary between Young Adult and adult –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – romances and books. So this is one of their early offerings from that imprint. I think the cover is really beautiful. There’s, like, this, lots of, like, gothic spires, gothic architecture in the background of this building; and there’s this, like, bridge, and the bridge is like, there’s, like, an arch on the cover; and then it’s, like, surrounded by these dark pink and purple flowers. I just think the book also looks really beautiful, cover-wise.

Sarah: Oh, it’s gorgeous. It’s really beautiful.

Amanda: So, a slow-burn Gothic romantasy.

So those are, like, the seven books that I’m, got my eyeballs on –

Sarah: Nice!

Amanda: – for the rest of the year. That’s my list.

Sarah: Well, I have three books in June.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Three, three books in June. Four, excuse me.

So the first book I have on my list is a nonfiction book of essays called Advice No One Asked For by Jenny Hagel? Jenny is a standup comedian and has a show, she runs a sold-out live show called Jenny Hagel Gives Advice, where she gives people advice. So the, the debut essay collection is giving advice about major and minor things. So, like, wear black when you travel, buy an analog watch, and other things. And I’ve heard that she’s very funny, and I tend to like books about people giving advice, especially if they’re not necessarily qualified to do so? Like, that’s one of my – I don’t know why that’s a trope that works for me, but I dig it?

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: I like it in podcasts, too. So I’m curious about that, and the nice thing about a book of essays by a comedian is that you can just read one and put it down, and you don’t have to remember it. If it’s not memorable, you don’t have to work to remember it, ‘cause the next one’s going to be probably very different.

The second one I wrote down on my, you know, list as treasure hunt lesbians in inheritance daughter of a famous person.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: This is called The Guest Book by Mae Marvel. So I’m just going to read the cover copy, because I just need you to, like, try to count the number of fucking plot points in this book. This looks, this, this list sounds like a kitchen sink, and I want to see if it’s, we can pull it off?

>> The whole world believes Cosima Frank’s life has been a fairytale. Now she’s trying to live up to the overwhelming legacy left to her by her late mother, the queen of Hollywood. As the pressure begins to build, Cosima does the only thing she can think of: run straight to the inn where her parents met and fell in love, intent on finishing her mother’s bucket list.

Okay.

>> Edie Whitelock isn’t like anyone Cosima has ever met. She’s persistent enough to march up to Cosima’s door and provoke her to get out of bed and follow the disarming woman through the charming English village. Edie’s also on the run from her past, but she finds she relishes bickering with the pretty Los Angeles princess a whole lot more than she expected.
The two women couldn’t be more different, but they find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other.

So we’re just going to layer on some sapphic tropes here.

>> Trapped indoors by thunderstorms –

[Laughs]

>> – Cosima and Edie discover the inn’s guest book with entries that date back more than fifty years, and inside it a romantic treasure hunt left behind by a long-ago guest whose clues unexpectedly send them across England, Spain, and France on an adventure they hope will change both of their lives.

Amanda: I feel like they’re getting too distracted, ‘cause what happened about the mom’s bucket list? We’re on the –

Sarah: I don’t know! [Laughs] Fuck this bucket! We got a guest book! Like, there’s so…

Amanda: Fuck the bucket!

Sarah: I was like, the third part alone could be the book, but we’ve got like three major things happening here, so I’m like, Okay! Let’s –

Amanda: I feel like this is an ADHD person’s, like, real life. Like, you’re on one quest. You can’t –

Sarah: Side quest!

Amanda: – start a new quest mid-quest!

Sarah: Multiple quests are going to happen! [Laughs]

Amanda: But this second quest seems like a, a big fucking deal! You’re going to different countries?

Sarah: Yeah, right? So you have a bucket list, but then you have a treasure hunt, and then you have a hot innkeeper, and it’s just, oh, I just –

Amanda: Girls, you’ve got to lock in and tighten up, okay?

[Laughter]

Amanda: That’s too much!

Sarah: You can see why I’m like, Okaaay, let’s see what happens here! Hmmm!

The next one I have on my list is Romantic Hero by Kirsty Greenwood. I had her on the show to talk about The Love of My Afterlife, which was a book that I did not expect to, like, lock me in my chair, and, and I’m lucky I didn’t get a sunburn ‘cause I was sitting outside? Kirsty Greenwood is one of those writers who’s, like, super, super fluent in romance tropes and knows how to go really deep and then subvert them in interesting ways, and there’s a lot of emotion. Like, I had all the chest tingles reading the books and all the character’s vulnerabilities seemed very real? I don’t like books, and this is a bad thing for me lately –

Amanda: I don’t like books. [Laughs]

Sarah: – where – this is a bad thing! – where the main character is a romance author, because holy crap, are there so many books with –

Amanda: There’s a lot these days.

Sarah: – romance writer main characters.

And I have a theory about that. I think that one of the reasons why romance authors are writing author heroes or heroines is because the publishing industry is so fucked right now that people who should have careers don’t. There’s the influx of AI, the number of AI titles and AI narrators and AI books in Kindle Unlimited, the chokehold that Amazon has on the industry, the contraction of publishing as a job market because they’re laying off people and closing lines and doing all of this stuff. It sucks in publishing land right now, and I think the, the idea of making a hero out of a romance writer is to give the character a happy ending that the author themselves suspects that they’re not going to get. That’s my theory. I may be reading too much into it, but that’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it.

I don’t like romance writer main characters. I don’t, I don’t need that much inside baseball, you know, in my character? But I will make an exception for Kirsty Greenwood because she is so clever. I’m like, all right, I, I trust you. And here’s the conceit of this book: the villain cowboy from the romance novelist’s books comes to life and is in her living room, and she has to figure out what to do with him. I’m in, I’m so in. I’m so in.

Amanda: I, I think I grabbed a digital ARC of this one, ‘cause the fact that he’s the villain cowboy, I was like –

Sarah: Yes!

Amanda: – Interesting!

Sarah: Absolutely! I don’t want the hero.

Amanda: Interesting!

Sarah: This guy’s the bad guy? I want to know what kind of dastardly fuckassery he’s been getting up to and how, how this is going to work out. Like, awesome.

Amanda: I’m picturing, like, you said dastardly, and my brain went to Snidely Whiplash?

Sarah: Snidely Whiplash!

[Laughter]

Amanda: …a little mustache? [Laughs]

Sarah: And the last book that I have on my list is called Wildflower by Becky Jenkinson. My, my, like, notes, ‘cause I don’t remember, like, why did I put this on my list? Why is this on my Kindle? So I have to leave little hints for myself. Magic Florist Can’t Lie teams up with Dark Wizard on Quest.

Amanda: [Laughs] I just love your shorthand.

Sarah: Yep. Do you want to hear the cover copy for this? This is one of those, you’re like, okay, and, yes and, yes and? All right, so here’s the cover copy:

>> Cursed from birth to always tell the truth, magical florist Felicity “Fliss” Farrow –

I love Fliss –

Amanda: Oh boy.

Sarah: – as a nickname for Felicity. That’s the most British shit you ever heard in your life.

Amanda: [Laughs]

Sarah: Because you know if this was American, they’d be like, Oh, is your name Floss? Like dental floss? No, Fliss. So:

>> Fliss chooses her words carefully to avoid trouble. But when she receives an anonymous request for a mysterious flower, her search leads her directly into trouble’s path: to Willoh Vane. Fliss knows the outcast, yet teasingly handsome sorcerer is rumored to have used dark magic to corrupt the northern forest five years ago. She’s witnessed the resulting feud with Prince Bastion, whom her best friend Card is soon to marry.

The names in this are exemplary.

>> Despite her divided loyalty, Fliss agrees to accept Will’s help to gather rare flowers and finds herself increasingly drawn to him. As the royal wedding approaches, Fliss, Fliss –

I can’t even say this shit.

>> – Fliss fears the flowers she’s delivered are intended for a sinister purpose, but when her warnings are ignored, can she and Will save the kingdom from disaster and discover what Fliss has long sought for so long: the actual truth?

The thing that got me about this is not only is it like she can’t lie and she’s got to team up with the bad guy – that’s, that’s great. The book contains hand-drawn floral sketches, and I want to see what that looks like, because I also think that the trend of decorating the outside of the book and the, and the in-, and the inset papers and the spredges, that’s going to start coming inside, and there’s going to be more illustrations and artwork inside books, I think. And this is, this is one of the first I’ve seen where I’m like, oh, yep, yep, there it goes. It’s coming inside the book.

So those are the titles that I am very curious about. I think most of them are June. Yes, June, two for June, June 2nd is Advice No One Asked For, Romantic Hero and Wildflower are both June 16th, and I’ll have to look up the third one. But they’ll be in the show notes. Don’t worry.

Amanda: I just, I just added Wildflower to my TBR pile.

But here’s, here’s a little mini Amanda rant, okay?

Sarah: I’m seated! I’m here – wait, I got my drink. I am, I am in position. Please deliver unto me.

Amanda: So this is labeled cozy, right? And I find more and more often I bristle at the label cozy, and it actually has been putting me more and more off of books? And here’s why.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: Cozy has all different flavors –

Sarah: So true.

Amanda: – but I also feel like sometimes cozy is shorthand for closed-door romance?

Sarah: Ohhh!

Amanda: And I am a, I’m a horny reader. I want sex on the page. That is –

Sarah: Doors open! Legs spread! Let’s go! [Laughs]

Amanda: I need all of the doors open. Every door open –

Sarah: Everything needs to – [laughs]

Amanda: – every orifice open –

Sarah: Every –

Amanda: – every window open –

Sarah: I need it all hanging out.

Amanda: – any hatch, any manhole cover. Anything that can be closed –

Sarah: That thing you pull down from the ceiling with the ladder to go
up to the air, up to the attic, we need that too!

Amanda: I need it open. Actually, just take the hinges off of everything in the house. So –

Sarah: Open-est floor plan in the history of the world.

Amanda: Yeah, I need an open floor plan romance. So when I go into a cozy, sometimes I feel like I’m being edged the whole time, and then there’s no, there’s no payoff for me. Because, like, I just, for me, I see, like, sex as a good literary device? Like, it is a literal climax of, like, we’ve done it everybody!

Sarah: Yep.

Amanda: We’ve reached the finish line. Thank you to everyone who participated, high fives all around.

Sarah: All the sexual tension has built, and yes.

Amanda: Yes! And when I don’t get that, I feel like a little sad trombone, and it makes me annoyed. So sometimes when an author – not an author, a publicist – will pitch me a cozy book, I will ask them, What’s the sexual content like? Like, is –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – is it closed door? And most of the time they’re like, Oh, there’s not much. It’s, like, usually pretty sweet. No, like, on-the-page stuff. And then I’m like –

Sarah: Nope.

Amanda: – Boo. Okay. And it definitely –

Sarah: I want it all open, everything hanging out. And if it’s not –

Amanda: And it –

Sarah: – I’m not interested.

Amanda: Yeah! Definitely sort of knocks the book down a few notches of how, like, excited I am or interested I am to read it. That’s just a thing that I prefer as a reader, but I, I feel like all too often cozy to me feels code for closed door –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – no sex on the page, which –

Sarah: You know what? You, you’re –

Amanda: – come on!

Sarah: – you’re right about that. It can be used that way, and you’re so right that cozy has so many different flavors. Sometimes cozy means no stakes whatsoever.

Amanda: We’ve had this discussion.

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: Ugghhh!

Sarah: Yeah. And the lack of stakes is starting to bug me. But that’s a really good reading list.

Amanda: I read a book recently that, it’s not labeled as cozy, but I think this falls into a similar trap of –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Amanda: – everything is just, like, tropes held together with duct tape and chewing gum?

Sarah: Yes, we have talked about this so many times. People are just stringing tropes together, and there’s no plot –

Amanda: Yeah.

Sarah: – to connect them. Yeah.

Amanda: Where, like, the problems –

Sarah: Like beads. Just boop, boop, boop, boop.

Amanda: [Sighs] The problems introduced to the characters felt like there was a sense of urgency to fixing these problems, to overcoming these hurdles, whatever. But the ways in which the characters interact –

Sarah: Right.

Amanda: – really undermined the sense of urgency their problems have created of, like, they’re just faffing about and just going from one –

Sarah: [Laughs] They’re just faffing about!

Amanda: – one trope to the other. So it’s like, okay, am I supposed to feel, like, a tension of, like, are they going to get this thing done in time? Are they going to reach their goal? When the characters themselves don’t seem to embody that same sense of urgency that is communicated by the problems, you know what I mean?

Sarah: Yes.

Amanda: It’s kind of like –

Sarah: A hundred percent.

Amanda: a danger boner. Like, you’re being chased to death, and you have to stop to take a sex break. It’s like, No! We’ve got to keep it moving. Yeah –

Sarah: Yeah.

Amanda: – I was just, like, really frustrated. I was like, this just felt like such a hollow book.

Sarah: Well, if the stakes don’t seem to have any impact on the characters beyond, Oh no! it’s really not satisfying! I totally get it.

I, I think that, I, I think that romance especially, and possibly other, other genres that are, like, the, the spokes of romance – so you have, like, romantasy and contemporary romance and whatever, whatever New Adult or chick lit is going to be called now, because they’re the same thing – I will die on the hill that New Adult was chick lit in a bad economy; that is my hill – I, I think that there is a real problem with craft and a lack of craft understanding, and I, I think that one of the reasons why there’s a lack of craft is that it used to be part of the gatherings for romance. Like, if you went to a chapter conference, there were always sessions on craft, and you were learning from other writers. And if you went to RWA, it was a lot of craft and a lot of learning from other writers. And even RT had a writer track where you could, like, learn about characters from, like, Charlaine Harris or whatever.

The training right now is not craft; it’s marketing. The training right now is how to make a book and get fifty thousand sales; how to write a book and, you know, break the top ten. The, the training now from other people that you’re learning, especially online, is marketing and sales and promotion, and not craft. And I think it shows.

Amanda: Speaking of craft, in case people don’t know, KJ Charles is coming out with a romance writing craft book at the end of the year, which, I’m excited. I’m excited to see.

Sarah: If anyone should be telling people craft, it is KJ Charles.

Amanda: Yep!

Sarah: Especially as a former editor.

Well, thank you for connecting with me!

Amanda: You’re welcome!

 [outro]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. Thank you to Amanda.

As I mentioned in the intro, you can get ten percent off your order at tropetails.com – that’s T-R-O-P-E-T-A-I-L-S dot com, like cocktails – by using code SBTBTROPES. Yay! And thank you to Tropetails for these delicious drink mixes. We had a really good time! [Laughs]

I always end with a bad joke. This joke comes from Josephine by way of Tumblr. Thank you, Josephine.

Did you hear about the team of scientists who are attempting to crossbreed a crab and a cheetah?

Yeah! But things went sideways real fast.

[Laughs] Things went sideways real fast – vroom! Thank you, Josephine. That totally made my day.

On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a wonderful weekend, and we’ll see you back here next week. And in the words of my favorite retired podcast Friendshipping, thank you for listening. You’re welcome for talking!

[end of music]