Be Ye Warned – this episode is extremely nsfw and is a recap of the second half of the book, so spoilers indeed.
Also, yes, my brain cannot hold on to “Rooksgrave Hall” vs “Rooksgrave Manor.” Apologies.
…
Music: purple-planet.com
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This episode is brought to you by Picnic in Someday Valley by Jodi Thomas.
New York Times bestselling author Jodi Thomas welcomes readers back to the picturesque Texas valley that cradles the town of Honey Creek…
Benjamin Monroe is pretty sure how his life will play out. He’ll continue teaching chemistry in his small college, and spend his free time biking through the valley. Eventually, he’ll retire to putter around in his garden.
His colleague, Virginia Clark, is not one for routines. She’s chatty, spontaneous, and bubbly, and before Benjamin realizes what happened, she’s talked him into collaborating on a research project.
Soon enough, their project, “The Chemistry of Mating,” is gaining notoriety. Friends, neighbors…the whole town has become involved. But no matter what the data determines, one conclusion seems inescapable: love follows its own rules…
With the blend of romance and women’s fiction, Picnic in Someday Valley is perfect for book clubs and provides a lot to discuss. Picnic in Someday Valley by Jodi Thomas is available now wherever books are sold. Find out more at Kensington Books.com
Transcript
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[music]
Sarah Wendell: Hello and welcome to a very special episode of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I am Sarah Wendell, and this is part two of the Bonkers Romance recap of A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor by Kathryn Moon. Part one with me, Melody, and Jenny is over at Bonkers Romance, so hello and welcome, Bonkers Romance listeners; I’m so happy to have you here with us today.
We are going to start right in the middle of the book and recap to the end, so I want to let y’all know, this episode is extremely Not Safe For Work. Don’t recommend listening with your kids in the car, unless you have headphones in, in which case drive carefully, and I want to be clear, this is a recap of the second half of the book, so spoilers ahoy.
I want to thank Melody and Jenny for inviting me to be on the show and for sharing the episode with me here.
Hello and thank you to the Patreon community. You keep the show going, and you make sure that every episode, including this one, has a transcript, thanks to garlicknitter. [Hi! – gk] If you would like to have a look at our Patreon, go to patreon.com/SmartBitches.
This episode is brought to you by Picnic in Someday Valley by Jodi Thomas. New York Times bestselling author Jodi Thomas welcomes readers back to the picturesque Texas valley that cradles the town of Honey Creek. Benjamin Monroe is pretty sure how his life will play out. He’ll continue teaching chemistry in his small college and spend his free time biking through the valley. Eventually, he’ll retire to putter around in his garden. His colleague Virginia Clark is not one for routines. She’s chatty and spontaneous, and before Benjamin realizes what has happened, she’s talked him into collaborating on a research project. Soon enough their project, “The Chemistry of Mating,” is gaining notoriety. Friends, neighbors…the whole town has become involved. But no matter what the data determines, one conclusion seems inescapable: love follows its own rules. With the blend of romance and women’s fiction, Picnic in Someday Valley is perfect for book clubs. Picnic in Someday Valley by Jodi Thomas is available now wherever books are sold. Find out more at kensingtonbooks.com.
This episode is brought to you in part by Fast Growing Trees. It is spring everywhere here, and I am so excited to see the hydrangeas we bought last year from Fast Growing Trees coming back. Now we have a frost-resistant gardenia, and I have never had one of those. I’m really excited about it because I know it’s going to do okay where I live. When it comes to caring for your plants, know-how matters. Fast-growing-trees.com’s experts curate thousands of plant varieties that thrive in one specific climate – yours – and will meet your location and your needs. There’s no waiting in line; there’s no messy cars; your plants are shipped to your door in one to two days. Plus, their growing and care advice is available 24/7. Whether you’re looking for privacy, shade, color, fragrance, adding some natural beauty to your yard, Fast Growing Trees has the perfect plants and the expertise to help you find them. Go to fast-growing-trees.com/SARAH right now and you’ll get fifteen percent off your entire order. Get fifteen percent off at fast-growing-trees.com/SARAH – fast-growing-trees.com/SARAH.
This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com, and yep, I still feel like a real podcaster when I say that. Even though I am a small business owner who works mainly on the internet, I still have things to mail for my business. I have giveaways to run, I have prizes to ship, I got books to mail, and as much as I like the people who work at my local post office, without fail when I go it’s always crowded. With Stamps.com I skip the trip and the time in line and focus on other things. Stamps.com saves me time, money, and stress. Stamps.com gives me access to all the post office and UPS shipping services I need right from my computer, and I get discounts I don’t find anywhere else, like forty percent off of post office rates and seventy-six percent off UPS. All I need is a computer and a standard printer; no special equipment needed. Stop overpaying for shipping with Stamps.com. Sign up with promo code SARAH for a special offer that includes a four-week free trial, free postage, and a digital scale; no long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code SARAH.
This episode is brought to you in part by Switchcraft, my new favorite game. Switchcraft is a brand-new, story-driven take on match 3 games. You know the games where you match three gems or sparkly things? As you play Switchcraft, you unlock new chapters of a gorgeously drawn graphic novel. In Switchcraft you play as Bailey, a witch at Pendle Hill, the world’s top academy of witchcraft! Their roommate has gone missing, and each choice you make brings you further into the mystery. The best part? The cast is incredibly inclusive, with characters who are nonbinary, disabled, and from a variety of cultural backgrounds. And did I mention the art is gorgeous? I cannot tell you how pretty it is. The choices you make determine the outcome of the story, and there are romance options! Plus, Bailey has a cat that you help care for; the cat’s name is Magnus. I love this game, mostly because of the art, so give it a try! Download Switchcraft for free and unlock the magical mystery.
Are you ready for the incredible second half of A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor? It’s a lot; it’s wonderful; it’s wholesome monster erotica, which I didn’t think was a thing but is totally a thing, and I adore it. On with the podcast with me, Melody, and Jenny.
[music]
Melody: Oh my gosh, I cannot believe there’s more. You would think that that would be like the whole book.
Sarah: Yeah, you’d think, oh, okay! There’s, there’s public fucking and she’s seen him, and that is the climax of that particular piece of tension? Oh no, there’s more.
Melody: Nooo!
Sarah: There’s more!
Melody: Not at all!
Jenny: I do not know how we can possibly top that or –
Melody: Oh.
Jenny: – where we can go from here, but I’m ready.
Melody: Yeah, get ready.
Sarah: Where – when we last left you – yes – so where we left off –
Melody: We were at the theater!
Sarah: We were at the theater.
Melody: Our favorite type of theater –
Sarah: Yes, the fuck-a-thon theater.
Melody: She has this climactic experience with –
Melody and Sarah: – Mr. Tanner –
Sarah: – who says, you come on this cock like the good little girl you are.
[Group sigh]
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: Yeah, Mr. Tanner’s like that.
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Melody: It’s good stuff.
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: And as she’s coming, she can see, like, a weird dude who’s, like, acting weird. Everybody else is, like, writhing out in the audience and, you know –
Sarah: They’re all fucking too. There’s like, all right, that’s it!
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: We’ve got to fuck now.
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: We have our limits.
Sarah: We have –
Melody: But there’s this guy whose, like, facial features seem to, like, change and waver in the, the, the air, and she’s really weird about it, and she gets a terrible feeling, and so now, like, like Sarah said, with the tantalizing nightmares, it’s all about the, the relationship between fear and arousal. Now she’s, like, actually coming, and yet feeling this fear that’s completely outside of her sexual experience. It’s –
Jenny: Hmm.
Melody: – a really interesting twist that Kathryn Moon just snuck in there.
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Melody: So afterwards, they immediately take her out to the carriage, and Auguste is like, I saw him too; oh my gosh. And so in the carriage, they try to explain to me, Melody – [laughs] – who this person is, and it doesn’t super work. They say that his name is Birsha, yeah, and apparently he was the king –
Sarah: The King of Gomorrah.
Melody: – of –
Sarah: As in Sodom and –
Jenny: Okay.
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: Yeah, and so, what, back in the, back in the B.C. times with Sodom and Gomorrah, he knew what was going to happen, and so he somehow, like, made his connections and made it so he either, like, didn’t die or, like, maybe did die and was resurrected? Nobody really knows because he’s clouded in such mystery. The crux of the matter is that he runs clubs that are sort of similar to Rooksgrave, but no one there is consenting.
Sarah: It’s all rape.
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: Like, and he says –
Melody: It’s all rape.
Sarah: – it’s explicitly, he, you are hedonistic, and you find joy in sex. He wants nothing but fear, and he wants to destroy the joy you find in sex.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: I don’t like that!
Sarah: No, we’re not –
Melody: No, we hate him.
Sarah: – we’re not big fans. He’s, I mean –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – I mean, what better establishment of a villain, though? Like, you have all of this –
Melody: [Laughs]
Jenny: Yeah.
Sarah: – joy in sex. This person wants you to have none of that.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: As they’re going home they’re like, we’re going to have noodle on this for a while.
Sarah: Yeah, this is a problem.
Melody: And we’ll have to –
Sarah: He’s a Big Bad.
Melody: – tell –
Sarah: Big, big, big –
Melody: Yeah, he’s a Big Bad!
Sarah: – bad, bad, bad.
Melody: And nobody knows how to fight him or kill him!
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: And stuff. But then the next – then they go to bed, and the next chapter is “A Day of Absolutely Nothing,” and it made me so happy! Because it’s like, all of my dreams come true, first of all, in this scene. But they wake up, and she wakes Jonathan by going down on him?
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: And up until this point, like, Mr. Tanner has not really let Jonathan out to play, because he –
Jenny: Mmm.
Melody: – has wanted her for himself, basically. And so there, there was also, in that, like, group negotiations chapter, when Mr. Tanner was like, okay, well, our, like, I will have to let Jonathan get some time on the schedule. I guess –
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: – I can do that. So she wakes him up –
Jenny: I love it.
Melody: – by going down on him, and then he brings her up and he’s like, I’m not wasting any of my time with you! And she’s like, it’s not a waste: sucking cock rules. And he’s like, not as much as fucking you! So they have sex, and then as they’re chatting they, he talks a little bit about his friendship with Auguste, yeah.
Sarah: There’s a really good line here that I don’t want to miss.
Melody: Oh yes.
Sarah: So he’s, he’s boning her, and she says –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – this was nice. No! Nice is when a lad had the sense to hunt for your clit a little to make it feel decent for you too as he went about his business getting off. This was lovely.
Jenny and Melody: Ohhh!
Sarah: Yeah, ‘cause Jonathan is in –
Jenny: Yeah.
Sarah: – to her having pleasure, because she – he woke up with her –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – pleasuring him, and he’s like, nonononono; I’m going to draw out your pleasure too. So again, it’s that oh, wait! You really want me to feel good! This is – oh, I could get used to this!
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: Mmm.
Melody: It’s great. So then we learn that he and Auguste are, like, best friends –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – and they have been for a little while. That’s how Auguste found Rooksgrave, and, and Auguste had been, up until this point, like, had sort of had lovers, but he’d never had a lover that he could feed on?
Jenny: Mm.
Melody: And so that’s very new for him. So then they start hatching this plan, and they’re like, what do you think he would think about, like, me waking him up the same way? You know, like, he’s in his vampire death sleep, but, like, I bet – [laughs] – he would like waking up, like, hard and being ridden. And –
Jenny: This is, she’s going to do this?
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: Okay.
Sarah: Esther’s like, wait, what happens if I wake up Auguste with the, with, you know, magic boner?
Jenny: Oh!
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: What happens if I wake up a vampire? Who’s com-, who’s completely dead to the world at this moment, ‘cause it’s the daytime.
Melody: Uh-huh.
Sarah: Yep.
Jenny: That would be something.
Melody: And so Jonathan’s like, funny you said that; he actually left his little hidey-hole unlocked because I did tell him, you know, there might be a possibility of something like that, of just us visiting, you know? So they go into the room, and, and she’s like, how do I get him hard? And he goes, how would you normally get him hard? She’s like, okay, all right. Snotty.
Jenny: [Laughs] Jesus!
Melody: She asks him, like, have you and Auguste – ? And he’s like, you know, sometimes we help each other out as friends. It’s fine.
Sarah: Because Jonathan knows where everything is in Auguste’s chamber, and there’s a, a vial of oil –
Jenny: Mmm.
Sarah: – for her to use conveniently there –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – and she’s like, wait, wait a minute here.
Melody: Yeah. Hmmm.
Jenny: How do you know this?
Melody: Uh-huh!
Sarah: Exactly.
Melody: It’s great. So then she actually does – like, he gets fully erect while in his vampire death sleep –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – and she mounts him –
Sarah: Yep!
Melody: – and then Jonathan is back there being like, how does he feel? And so they have this whole interplay together, and then one of the things he warned her about is that Auguste will wake up hungry, and –
Jenny: Yeah!
Melody: – he will immediately bite, and so he says, the only thing you need to do is to stay still –
Sarah: Don’t move.
Melody: – so that you don’t tear anything.
Sarah: Yeah. Don’t pull away.
Melody: She’s like, I can totally do that, yeah!
Sarah: Yeah, sure.
Melody: And so he does: he leaps up, she’s still riding him, and he just, like, grabs onto her throat, and she’s like, it hurts, but it hurts so good! Auguste turns her over, and they’re fucking –
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: – and then Jonathan comes over and he, like, coats his finger in oil and, like, starts playing with Auguste’s asshole, and –
Jenny: Yes, he does!
Melody: – and it’s hot.
Sarah: And Esther looks at, at Jonathan over Auguste’s shoulder and says, fuck him. I want the both of you pinning me down.
[Gasps]
Melody: It’s great. And so then she sees the difference that Jonathan, the difference with which he fucks both of them, because he was really, like, gentle with her and la-la-la, and with Auguste he’s just like, grrr! Like, God, ahhh! It’s happening! And it’s very –
Sarah: Yes, Jonathan –
Melody: – very hot.
Sarah: – pounded down into our tangled union.
Jenny: Ho, wow!
Sarah: Yeah – [laughs] – whoo! It’s whoo!
Jenny: I am delighted!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Melody: And let me –
Jenny: I need some Barbie dolls to – but I am delighted.
Melody: Oh my God, let, let, and let’s review: the title of this chapter is “A Day of Absolutely Nothing.” False, Kathryn!
[Laughter]
Melody: This was, this was a chapter of Technicolor goodness is what it was!
[Laughter]
Melody: So now they go back to Rooksgrave.
Sarah: This chapter is called “A Study of Hierarchy.”
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: Hmmm.
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: So we’re going to start figuring out the hierarchy of all of these monsters. Because at the intersection of –
Jenny: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – reverse harem and monster-fucking there is this book, basically.
Melody: Yeah, basically. So they get there, and a couple of other club owners, who we don’t actually need to know anything about, are there. The only point is that the club owners are, like, trying to figure out what the fuck, because girls are disappearing from other clubs too –
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Oh!
Melody: – and it’s super not okay.
Sarah: So this Birsha person is Big Bad-ing all over the place, and it’s –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: That’s bad.
Sarah: – it’s circling around them and it’s a present danger.
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: And so they’ve gone back to Rooksgrave, but Rooksgrave isn’t any safer than it was before they left?
Sarah: No.
Melody: Correct.
Sarah: And the other –
Jenny: Okay.
Sarah: – houses that serve other fae groups are also having problems, and they’re trying to figure out a way to work together to protect each other.
Melody: Mm-hmm. But Booker and Ezra are there, and so she is over the moon. She’s like –
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: – Booker! And, and grabs her, grabs him around the neck, and then Ezra comes over and, like, gets her, and it’s, oh! Their reunion is so sweet.
Jenny: Mm-hmmm.
Melody: But then they, like, put her in a bath, and she starts talking to Auguste about this hierarchy.
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: And he’s like, well, like, the Sphinx is never going to be topped, right? ‘Cause he’s like thousands of years old.
Jenny: Hmm!
Melody: And then I think it’s Auguste, and then Mr. – or maybe Mr. Tanner’s over Auguste – it doesn’t matter. Then Booker and Ezra –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – essentially. It’s really interesting to her, because she’s just like, I, I like you all equally –
Sarah: Yeah!
Melody: – you know. Like, there’s no hierarchy here, but we do hear about hierarchies with other girls and their clients.
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Hmmm.
Melody: Later on there’ll be, like, a girl who’s like, oh, this one wants to, like, marry me and take me away, and then another girl leans over and is like, but he’s not her favorite!
[Laughter]
Melody: It’s very funny!
Sarah: Then Ezra has a surprise.
Jenny: Wow.
Sarah: While she’s been gone –
Melody: It’s a surprise!
Sarah: – Ezra, Ezra has been working with Magda, Magdalena, and he has, with her help, figured out a way to temporarily break the curse so that she can see him, and so he appears to her –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – and she gets to see what he looks like, but only when he’s concentrating. So it’s only a –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – few moments where she can recog- – but she’s never seen him before, so it’s this total stranger! She’s like, who the fuck are you? And he’s like, it’s me!
Melody: Well, and he wakes her up being on top of her!
Sarah: Yeah. He’s like, hello! She’s like, what? [Laughs]
Jenny: Oh!
Melody: And he’s, like, talking in another voice and accent or whatever –
Sarah: Yeah!
Melody: – and so she’s like, what the fuck?! And he’s like, just kidding, Puisin! ‘Cause he calls her Puisin. Just, it’s me, it’s me! And this is my beautiful face and my hulking body, and she’s like –
Sarah: And my giant cock! Yep.
Melody: Oh yeah. She’s like, I am so smart, even when you’re invisible. Like, you’re hot –
Sarah: Yeah!
Melody: – when I can see you.
Sarah: Lots of plot, lots of fucking. From now till the end, get ready.
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: Buckle up.
Jenny: ‘Kay.
Melody: Amon – oh, and so now she has a conversation with Amon where she’s like, I really need you to get on board and be serious about accepting them, but not just accepting them but, like, learning from the other men –
Jenny: Hmm!
Melody: – and, like, really sharing and getting on board with this, because I want you to be part of our little family!
Sarah: Basically, yeah!
Melody: But you’re sort of, like, you’re keeping yourself apart, and –
Sarah: Here’s a ladder; get over yourself now.
Melody: Yeah, yeah!
Jenny: [Laughs]
Sarah: Basically –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – she’s like, look, bro, you’ve got to take it down a notch. We’re all going to work together; you can be part of that, but here’s the deal: you cannot maintain this hierarchy with your treatment of the others.
Melody: Right, exactly.
Jenny: You could be in on the orgy times! And you’re missing the orgy times! And you might like them.
Melody: It’s a nice time.
Sarah: Exactly.
Melody: It’s, it’s a great time. So they, like, have dinner as a group, and that’s very cute, and he and Ezra start, like, bickering, which is very cute?
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: And then Booker wakes her up by going down on her the next morning –
Jenny: Mm-hmm.
Melody: – and she’s like, oh my gosh, Booker, fuck me, fuck me! And he’s like, I can’t. And she’s like, what are you talking about? Of course you can! I’m saying you can right now, and he says, but Auguste says I can’t. Auguste said to wait, and she’s like, what?!
Sarah: What?!
Melody: In what world does Auguste tell you – like, who is Auguste? And Booker says, I like him. [Laughs]
Jenny: Ohhh!
Sarah: And he said I should do as much as I want with my mouth and fingers but wait until tonight.
Jenny: [Gasps] Is there a –
Melody: Tonight, because they’re scheming.
Jenny: – special treat?
Melody: Oh yeah. She’s never been to a Rooksgrave party, Jenny!
Jenny: Oh!
Melody: Yeah –
Jenny: Neither have I!
Melody: I know!
[Laughter]
Melody: So she talked to Auguste a little while ago about, like, doing the party scene, and he’s like, oh yeah, we can definitely make that happen. So they go downstairs; they have, like, dinner; and then they go into, like, the group room where the parties happen.
There’s a subplot with another one of the women who work there who, like, doesn’t like it, like, but she’s there because she, like, she’s making the choice to be there still, but she doesn’t like her monsters; she’s not into it.
Sarah: Very predatory, and she just, she’s in it for the money. She’s want them to buy her things –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – she wants, and she wants to get enough money to get out. This is not –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: She, she considers herself above all of the work that she’s doing, and they are a means to an end.
Melody: Right, yeah.
Jenny: Oh.
Sarah: It’s suboptimal.
Melody: So she’s, like –
Jenny: Hmm.
Melody: – giving him, like, a really lame blowjob, and it’s sa-, and, and so poor, poor Esther is over there and Ezra’s, like, going down on her like crazy as he’s invisible, so everybody’s getting a view of just, like, wet cunt.
Sarah: Yes.
Melody: And then as –
Sarah: I’ve heard female arousal described as a wide-on, and that is what is happening here. She has a wide-on –
Jenny: Oh my God!
Melody: [Laughs]
Sarah: – in front of the whole room. Yeah, it’s a wide-on.
Jenny: I love it!
Sarah: Like, ‘cause he’s invisible and his whole head and shoulders are there, so she’s just like, whoo!
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: Upsy-daisy!
Melody: Oh, it’s great.
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: It’s great. And so then they’re like, all right, it’s time for the main event. But, oh, and the reason that they switch, they switch it up is because she’s basically, like, during the whole time she’s getting gone down upon, she’s looking over at this guy and being like, oh my gosh, he deserves so much better!
Jenny: Awww!
Melody: Like, he should be with a lady who really appreciates him and likes him for him!
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: And they’re like, do we need to make you come to get you to not be distracted anymore? And she’s like, sure!
[Laughter]
Melody: And now, Booker goes, he walks in and he lies down on the ground, and she’s like, it’s Booker time!
Sarah: Oh yeah!
Jenny: Has she fucked Booker before?
Melody: Mm-mm!
Jenny: Ohhh! Just –
Sarah: He’s given her the morning fingers –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – and he’s gone down on her, and she’s, you know, rubbed up against him, but nope.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: There has been no Booker time, and now it’s Booker time.
Jenny: Ohhh!
Melody: Not only is it Booker time, Jenny, okay, and not only is it, like, sort of being directed by Auguste, but Auguste wants to play jealousy games. And so as she’s riding Booker, he’s like, oh, he’s the best you’ve ever had, isn’t he? And she’s like, he’s the best! Oh my God! He’s like, oh, you would trade all of us for just like one more fuck with him, wouldn’t you? And she’s like, yeah, yeah! I would, I would! And Booker, meanwhile, is down there –
Jenny: I love this for Booker.
Melody: This sort of like cool group affirmation of Booker’s, like, personhood and prowess was so gorgeous to see! Like, I don’t know!
Jenny: I didn’t know I wanted it, and I love it!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Melody: That’s exactly how I felt!
Sarah: Surprise!
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: She’s riding Booker, and Auguste gets behind her and starts fingering –
Jenny: Oh yeah!
Sarah: – her asshole, and he says, does it hurt? And she says, no, Booker made me take three this morning.
[Laughter]
Melody: So good! And Auguste likes that. But they have, like, pillow talk afterwards; they go up to the room, and she’s like, you do know that I wouldn’t trade any of you for any of the other ones. And he’s like, no, I absolutely know that. That’s why it’s hot sex talk.
Sarah: Right.
Melody: Like, it wouldn’t be hot if it was true. But I, I know that you like us equally, and I really like that. It’s so sweet.
Jenny: She’s, and she’s –
Sarah: And he’s, and she says –
Jenny: – the sad monsters recognize that, like, this is better and –
Melody: Oh yeah.
Jenny: – different.
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Oh no!
Sarah: Yeah. They –
Jenny: There’s not enough of her to go around!
Sarah: There’s not enough of her to go around, but they kind of realize, oh wait, I could have more than just this being resentfully serviced by someone.
Jenny: I volunteer as tribute!
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: Right?
Jenny: [Laughs]
Sarah: Like, one of the things –
Melody: Truly.
Sarah: – I thought of when I was reading this is that I know monster-fucking books, for lack of a better term, are extremely popular? And the idea in this book –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – is that there’s this, this idea that there aren’t very many women who are willing to fuck monsters, and I’m like, but given the popularity of monster-fucking books in the real world, I bet there’d be a lot of women who would be completely down to fuck monsters.
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: Like, this isn’t –
Jenny: Yeah.
Sarah: – actually a rare commodity anymore, thanks to this genre.
Melody: Come out of the woodwork, monsters.
Sarah: Right, right, exactly.
Melody: You let us know.
[Laughter]
Sarah: And, and the thing about Esther is that she recognizes Auguste, Auguste’s game. Like, oh, you like to be jealous! You like to play with jealousy! And he’s like, well, yes. I like the fire of possessiveness, but only because I know that I am safe with you.
Jenny and Melody: Ohhh!
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: So there’s this idea where they’re beginning to articulate that their relationships are unique and safe and that they can explore being who they really are and what they really like –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – because they are safe with each other because they trust each other, which is, which is highlighted by the other relationships in the Rooksgrave Manor house, which are not that.
Jenny: This book, man!
Sarah: There’s a lot!
Melody: Truly!
Sarah: There’s a lot! And it’s, it’s –
Melody: Truly!
Sarah: – it’s not just a lot of fucking! I mean, there’s a lot of fucking! But there’s a lot more –
Melody: There’s a lot of fucking!
Sarah: – going on. There’s, there’s plot.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: So then she wakes up the next morning and some bad shit goes down.
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: Booker is standing over her, and she’s like, oh hey, it’s Booker! And then he starts talking, and she realizes it is not Booker. Someone –
Jenny: Uh-oh.
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – has taken possession of Booker, and he’s grinning at her in a scary way, and he’s, like –
Jenny: Oh no!
Sarah: – pinning her down, and this, the, this voice is like, oh yes, golems are tools; they’re empty vessels; I can take over. And she looks up –
Jenny: Oh, I hate it!
Sarah: – and she goes, oh, Birsha. And he says, ah! You’re not stupid.
Melody: Uh-huh.
Sarah: You’re exceptional, but you’re not stupid, and I should find you as delightful, and I think I’d rather kill you than keep you, and what she does is she reaches up to Booker and convinces Booker’s presence in his body to fight back against this possession, and to –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – to throw him out, and eventually that happens. Booker manages to come back into himself and push out this invasion, and Magda realizes, oh, okay, we have a problem. Booker is now more attached to Esther than he is to Magda, who made him, and so –
Jenny: Wow.
Sarah: – there is a ceremony, where they are all standing in a circle, and Magda –
Melody: They tether them!
Sarah: – goes through the magical process of untethering Booker to her and tethering Booker to Esther instead.
Jenny: Ohhh!
Melody: Because otherwise he’s vulnerable, and, and she really, she toils –
Sarah: Is not entirely – yeah, she’s really not comfortable –
Melody: – over this decision.
Sarah: – with the idea that she is responsible for him, because this tethering is a bind between them, but there’s still a power dynamic there because that binding is power over him.
Jenny: Hmmm.
Sarah: And she really struggles with it, but then she realizes that if she doesn’t do it, he is not safe, and neither is –
Jenny: Hmm.
Sarah: – neither are they, but he is in danger. And –
Melody: And he talks to her, and he’s just like, ‘cause she’s like, Booker, what do you want to do? If you can be tethered to whoever you want?
Sarah: What if we did it with somebody else? What if you tether to Auguste? And Booker’s like, no.
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: I only want you. So there’s that layering of safety again.
Melody: I’m yours anyway.
Sarah: It has to be you.
Melody: Like, of course I want to be tethered to you. I have to be tethered to you. My heart is tethered to you anyway.
Sarah: Yes! And then he –
Jenny: Ohhh –
Sarah: – then she says, but what if we –
Jenny: – Booker!
Sarah: – accidentally use my will against you when we’re doing things and I make you do something that you don’t want to do? And he says, it would be my pleasure.
Jenny: [Sighs]
Melody: And, and then Magda jumps in and she’s like, honestly –
Sarah: You really have to focus to control a golem, and listen, when you’re fucking –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – you’re not focused, so it’s really not a problem you need to worry about.
Jenny: Hmmm. So it’s, like, not –
Melody: There’s no way.
Jenny: – something she needs to worry about.
Melody: No way you’d be able to do that.
Sarah: It’s like Ezra can’t maintain visibility while he’s boning because he is distracted and can’t concentrate; same thing here.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: She’s like, oh! Okay then! All right, I accept. And they go through –
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: – what is essentially a binding ceremony between them. The, all of them are there for the, for the ceremony, and Booker becomes tethered to Esther. And it’s –
Melody: It’s beautiful.
Jenny: I love it!
Sarah: It’s so –
Melody: It is beautiful.
Sarah: – lovely. Then it’s time for lots and lots of sex, because they are going to go to Amon’s house to keep her safe.
Melody: There’s one point where they’re all sitting there, and he’s like, I would like to plan a dinner, and they’re like, oh wow! Trying to steal our girl from underneath us, huh? Like ribbing him?
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: And he’s like, no, no, no, I, you misunderstand: I want a dinner for the whole group. And they’re like –
Jenny: He’s grown!
Melody: – Amon, like, all of us, all – nobody would begrudge you a night with her. Like, we all have our time with her.
Sarah: We were just teasing you, bro! It’s cool! And he’s like, no –
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: – all of you.
Melody: And he’s like, no, Esther wants it this way; this is the way, this is the way I want it too –
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: – as a result. Ah! So they have this dinner at Amon’s house, and then Amon says, hey girl, do you want to be at Rooksgrave forever? Because I think that it might be cool to have just, like, a, a relationship all six of us.
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Hmmm.
Melody: And then she goes, well, seven; Mr. Tanner’s here too.
[Laughter]
Melody: And it’s very cute! Basically, they kind of propose group marriage to her, and by the end of the conversation she says yes. So now it’s time –
Jenny: I love it!
Melody: Yeah. And she notices – ‘cause she’s like, Booker, what do you think? Would you like this kind of, you know, situation where we, like, travel and we do other stuff? And she realizes that Booker has been, like, riveted by everything he sees, because he’s never been away from Rooksgrave before. And so he looks at her and he’s like, I would very much like to travel.
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: Yes, absolutely.
Sarah: But first –
Melody: And so they’re going to be a family!
Sarah: They’re going to be a family! But then there’s more sex.
Melody: They have to celebrate!
Sarah: They have to celebrate! So Ezra –
Jenny: Do the swords cross?
Melody: Oh, hmm.
Jenny: I need some swords crossing!
Sarah: [Laughs] So Ezra teases her right to the edge and says, you may not come; I’m going to get you so close, and the next person –
Melody: Mm-hmm?
Sarah: – that walks in the room – I’m going to be invisible; I’m going to be watching – the next person that walks in the room, you have to convince them to fuck you. And she’s like, what if it’s one of the servants? He says, I don’t care! I –
Melody: Yeah, what if it’s one of the other girls?
Sarah: I don’t care!
Jenny: Hot!
Sarah: So you have to do what I say. So he gets her right to the edge, and she is just, oh my gosh, what do I do? What do I do? And in walks Booker.
Melody: Oh, and – I’m sorry – before –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – in walks Booker, she is up against the wall, and she’s watching herself in a mirror.
Sarah: Yes! Mirror time!
Melody: Just – yeah, mirror time.
Jenny: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Melody: It’s mirror time now.
Sarah: Invisible Ezra is dicking her down against the wall –
Melody: Mm-hmm!
Sarah: – and all she can see is herself splayed out, getting fucked.
Melody: Mm-hmm!
Jenny: Oh! I didn’t know I needed this, and it’s so good! How have I never thought of it?
Sarah: And it could have been, it could have been just a book about invisible fucking, but that’s just an, it’s just –
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: – one of many kinds of fucking! Like, this is a real –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – whoo! It’s a very, very fulsome –
Jenny: Wow!
Sarah: – selection here. So then Booker walks in, and she’s like, oh my God, yes, Booker, fuck me right now! And they all walk in, and she’s like, you planned this! And they’re like, oh, of course we did! Don’t be ridiculous!
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: It’s so amazing.
Sarah: So then there’s a dinner party at, at –
Melody: Oh yeah, then the dinner party happens.
Sarah: – at Amon’s house, and Amon’s house –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – is just completely opulent, off the chain, like –
Jenny: Of course it is!
Sarah: – they’re all, they’re all making like, wait, he’s Egyptian and he really likes Grecian architecture? Like, isn’t this a little much?
[Laughter]
Sarah: And they’re like, yeah, it’s him, whatever. And he comes in, and he is just like, welcome to all of you, and welcome to my star, and this is our home now. He has –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – made this incredibly giant safe home, and –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – they have an amazing dinner, and then they have lots and lots of sex.
Jenny: Yes, they do!
Melody: Yeah, celebration sex.
Jenny: Ahhh!
Sarah: And Amon says, I don’t want to be your cage, little star; I’d like to be your home. So this is like the establishment of safe, safety and, and home and family, but also whole lot of fucking. Lot of fucking about now.
Melody: It’s so dreamy, Jenny.
Jenny: It’s so much like, just gooey, wholesomeness, but also –
Sarah: I know! It’s, it’s gooey, wholesome fucking.
Jenny: [Sighs]
Melody: Mm-hmm. Oh, it’s so, it’s so beautiful!
Sarah: Then Amon says to Ezra, Mr. McKenna, you won’t mind allowing us a good view of our star as you fill her up. So they all watch her be fucked by the invisible Ezra.
Jenny: Oh! Ohhh!
Melody: [Laughs]
Jenny: Ohhh!
Melody: At Amon’s request!
Sarah: At Amon’s request, yeah.
Melody: That’s amazing!
Sarah: So now they’re all into watching and doing and trading places, and –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – yeah, it’s, it’s delightful! And one of the things that – have you ever read a romance and you’re like, okay, the sex scene’s a little boring. I get it. Bungida-bungida-bung – okay, moving on. Can we go back to the plot?
Melody: Yeah!
Jenny: Yeah, yeah.
Sarah: The plot is the sex, the sex is the plot, and –
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: Ah!
Sarah: – it’s never boring. It’s –
Melody and Sarah: – never –
Sarah: – boring.
Jenny: How? With this much fucking?
Melody: Not a single time.
Sarah: Yes!
Jenny: How does it – ‘cause as you, you led off at the very beginning with there’s only so many holes.
Sarah: Yep!
Melody: I know.
Jenny: And, like, you can only stuff them so many ways, and yet –
Sarah: It’s not like we’re going for nostril sex all of a sudden; no! It’s still –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – we’re talking about.
Melody: Yeah, I know!
[Laughter]
Melody: So then the next morning is about to happen, and Auguste is like, I will see you tonight –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – and, like, I’ve got to go to my daytime sleep.
Sarah: He, he goes back to Rooksgrave Manor that is the safe place for him to have his day rest, and Amon’s like, oh, I, I do need to make a safe place for him here; I will do that. But he, but Auguste knows that he is safer in the subterranean vampire resting areas. They’re there, not at Amon’s house, so he goes back.
Melody: And it’s really interesting because he, he can see that, like, Booker’s like, you’re sad, and she’s like, I mean, no, I’m not. I, I miss him, but I, but it’s not necessarily – like, I, I miss us just being a unit. I miss us being together.
Sarah: When one is missing, she feels that absence. Like, she wants everyone there.
Jenny: Mm.
Melody: Yeah, she feels bereft!
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: Yeah. So then they’re going back to Rooksgrave all as a group in the carriage, and –
Sarah: Amon sits up in the carriage.
Melody: – Amon’s like –
Sarah: Something –
Melody: – oh no.
Sarah: – is wrong, and he springs out of the carriage. His wings erupt, and he flies up into the sky. And this is not the first time –
Jenny: Hot!
Sarah: – that he’s had a premonition; he also was able to, during the sun, apparently something with the sphinxes and the sun, whatever the sun touches they can see?
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: So if it’s night –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – or if it’s dark, or if it’s underground, he doesn’t have access, but anything that happens under the sun he can have access to. So he knew Mary, the other girl who was not as kind and was very mercenary about it? He knew her backstory by looking at her, and he now knows –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – something is very wrong, and he runs out of the carriage, rips his wings off, and flies in the middle of the day, and they’re all like, is, is he going to get, is he going to get caught? Like, is somebody going to see –
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: – this giant sphinx dude just flying through the air? And they’re like, he must have magic to hide himself, because that was a lot for the English countryside.
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: Like –
Melody: Absolutely!
Sarah: – [laughs] – the locals are going to be like, what?!
Melody: Well, and not to mention the fact that he’s not, like, histrionic. Like, there, there is obviously shit going down –
Jenny: Mmm.
Melody: – if that is how he is acting.
Sarah: Yeah. Sphinxes are prophetic.
Melody: And there is, because Rooksgrave Manor is burning the hell down.
Jenny: Nooo!
Sarah: Yes.
Melody: Three ifrits came in, and they put their fires everywhere. They, they got, like, permission from one of the other workers, and –
Sarah: They forged their way in, and they set fire to the whole house while –
Jenny: Oh no!
Sarah: – while fucking was going on, and so they’re all trying to get the girls out and the monsters out –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – but it is daylight; it is not safe. So they have to –
Melody: It’s not safe for the vampires particularly.
Jenny: Nooo!
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: And so then Booker and Ezra go running into the fire, and she tries to go too, but Mr. Tanner grabs her and he’s like, you need to chill the F out.
Sarah: Right, ‘cause –
Melody: We can’t even bring Auguste out, because he would –
Sarah: It would kill him!
Melody: – burn up.
Jenny: Yeah.
Sarah: So if the –
Melody: So –
Sarah: – fire doesn’t kill him, bringing him out in the daylight will, and you are human; this is dangerous.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: And she’s like, well, damn it. She’s very –
Melody: And she’s like, so is Ezra!
Melody and Sarah: Ahhh!
Melody: And, like, like, Magda says, Booker won’t be hurt because he’s made of marble, and she’s like, I just don’t know that that’s true, and so she uses her tether to pull him out –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – and Booker is, like, holding one of the girls who did, she ends up dying. They lose –
Jenny: Mm.
Melody: – one person in the fire, and it’s Cassie, the poor sweetheart who I think was the werewolf fucker at the beginning!
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Oh!
Melody: I know! She was, like, formative to Esther’s experience. Ugh!
Sarah: And Magdalena says, all right, we have all of these monsters, we need to get everyone somewhere safe, we need to hide them, and Amon says, my home is open to all of you. And he has –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – gone from being like, everybody get the fuck out of my house, to, all of these monsters and people I don’t know, you are welcome in my home.
Melody: Mm-hmm. So –
Jenny: Oh, I love that growth!
Sarah: I know!
Melody: I know!
Sarah: So much!
Melody: So they all go back to his house, and then the men, like, spend most of the days back at Rooksgrave trying to excavate and, and find Auguste and Ezra, because they did not come out at all.
Sarah: No.
Jenny: Oh no!
Melody: Yeah. So she is freaking out!
Jenny: I’m very worried!
Sarah: So they’re partially putting out the, the smoldering house, and they’re partially trying to find Auguste, which is, of course, he’s down underground, so all of the rubble has fallen down on top of where they would get to him.
Jenny: Mm.
Sarah: They’re, they’re met by one of Amon’s sister creatures; her name is Khepri, and she is another sphinx, and she has come to protect them. And she comes to Magdalena and she says, I am here to protect you and your community and your people if you will accept me, and Magdalena’s like, yes, I graciously accept.
Melody: I very much want them to be a couple later. They are, right? They have to be.
Sarah: Yeah. There’s a lot of romantic, sexual tension there between the sphinx and Magdalena –
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: – it’s pretty great.
Melody: Lots of it, lots of it, lots of it.
Sarah: I’m, I’m here for this sequel.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: So they go back to the house, and they figure out a way where it’s mostly safe enough for her to go in, and she’s being escorted, and they go into the library. Magdalena says, if you can save any of my work, all of my papers, all of my spells, all of my records, if you can save anything, go there and see what you can find. She’s like, all right, I’m on it. She goes to the library and she meets this creature with, enormous green guy with big horns, and he’s guarding the door. And she’s like –
Melody: Uh-huh.
Sarah: – who are, who are you? And he says, I’m, you know, I’m one of, one of this person’s creatures, and he says, but I’m not her favorite.
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: And she says –
Melody: That’s one of those –
Sarah: – you des-, you deserve someone who, who is, who is your favorite, who thinks you are her favorite. You deserve to be someone’s favorite.
Melody: Yeah, and he’s like, stop flirting; you’ve got a lot on your plate. And she’s like, I know –
Jenny: [Laughs]
Sarah: I know, but I’m going to –
Melody: – it’s sad, isn’t it?
Sarah: And then she keeps flirting with him; it’s great.
Jenny: [Laughs]
Melody: It’s really cute.
Sarah: So he agrees to help her. He’s guarding, so he escorts her through, and suddenly she hears somebody calling her name! And she thinks –
Melody: Esther!
Sarah: – it’s Auguste.
Melody: Esther!
Sarah: Esther! And she’s like, what? Who? Huh? So the, the green guy with horns, his name is Asturion, she runs away from him, and he’s like, what the fuck? Where are you going? And she books it through these corridors, following this voice, being called, being called, and she gets –
Melody: And all of her men have seen this happen –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – and so they’re coming after her too.
Sarah: Yeah.
Jenny: Uh-oh.
Sarah: And she outruns them, and she disappears, and there in a room is Auguste.
Melody: He’s, his hands are staked to the roots –
Jenny: Nooo!
Melody: – of a tree.
Sarah: Yeah, he is staked to the wall –
Jenny: I don’t like it!
Sarah: – he’s covered with blood. He is very weak, he’s emaciated, he’s very weak, and there is Birsha. And he is sitting there, having tortured Auguste, and he is sitting in front of a plate that holds the heart of another vampire.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: And apparently the way he stays immortal is to eat the organs of dead vampires. So he finds them and he kills them and he eats their organs. I don’t even want to know what that does to your blood pressure; that sounds terrible.
Melody: No way.
Jenny: This motherfucker’s gotta die!
Sarah: Yes. And she, the first thing she’s trying to do is she trying to memorize his features, because one of the ways that he gets, gets away with so much is that he keeps making people forget what he looks like, and she’s like, I’m going to catalogue his features; I’m going to make him –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – pay attention, and she’s like, why do you have Auguste pinned and staked to a tree? And he says, leverage. We can sit here, and I will not kill you and I will not kill him, but you must realize that neither of you are leaving this room alive. I’m going to kill him, you’re going to watch, and I’m going to kill you, and I’m going to rape you first. And I’m going to make you hate the thing that you love.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: Ugh!
Sarah: And – [laughs] – this is my favorite part of Esther; this is the moment I love her the most?
Melody: Same.
Sarah: She’s like, you want to fuck me? He goes, no, rape. And she gasped, but not at the threat. Oh, how clever: a terrible old man threatening to rape me. I would have rolled my eyes at Birsha if it weren’t for the soft brush –
Melody: Uh-huh.
Sarah: – of callused fingers at the back of my neck. It’s Ezra!
Melody: Ezra’s here.
Jenny: Oh yeah!
Sarah: He’s been hiding in the room the whole time, and Birsha cannot see him. And so she acts like she’s afraid, but then she starts playing along, ‘cause she knows Ezra’s literally at her back, so she starts playing up to Birsha like, well, how do you know I won’t like it? How do you know –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – that I wouldn’t enjoy it? Maybe I want to come with you! Maybe I would like to –
Jenny: Oh, I love it so much!
Sarah: Maybe I would –
Melody: And she’s like, use me at one of your clubs; like, I’m sure that all of your patrons would, would love a girl like me –
Sarah: You know –
Melody: – and –
Sarah: – my men chase me and try to make me afraid, and I love every minute! And he goes, yes, you chose that, and she’s like, I make lots of choices, and I think you’re afraid of me.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: And Birsha –
Jenny: [Gasps]
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – does not like being called on his bullshit.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: I think you’re afraid you can’t break me. You like to make people suffer. What if you can’t hurt me more than I would enjoy?
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: Get it!
Sarah: Wow!
Melody: It’s so good, and, and he –
Jenny: That is some powerful shit!
Melody: Yeah – he is off kilter. He does not know what to say or do or whatever, but there is a steak knife in front of him on the table.
Sarah: So she, he puts the steak knife down on the table and he’s focused on Esther, and Esther is keeping his attention on her, and she’s still coming onto him and keeping him off balance, and he’s like, I want to own the beasts. I want to own Mr. Tanner; I want to kill him in front of you. I want you to be afraid, and she’s like, well, what if, what if I’m not? And he keeps going and threatening her, and suddenly she feels something cold pressed into her hand, and it is the knife, and she, Ezra pushes her forward and she stabs Birsha right in the heart.
Jenny: Yeaahh!
Sarah: And then the spell that had been keeping them secret from, hiding them from everyone is broken, and she can hear all of the others calling for her, and she’s like, we’re in here, we’re in here! And Ezra’s, like, getting their attention; and he looks at her and has, like, blood in his mouth; and she pulls the knife out of his chest and stabs him in the throat.
Melody: Yes!
Jenny: Yeah, she does!
Sarah: And then –
Melody: It’s so good.
Sarah: – he gathers all of his power and he disappears.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: Yes.
Jenny: [Gasps] Uh-oh.
Sarah: And Auguste is like, what took you so fucking long?
Jenny: [Laughs]
Sarah: He put that knife down like twenty minutes ago! And Ezra’s like, I had one chance, and I didn’t want him to see the knife, ‘cause it would be in my hand, which he can’t see, but a knife floating through the air is kind of obvious!
Melody: Right!
Sarah: And Ezra is like, keep her away from Auguste. He is starving, and she’s like, I don’t care, he will feed from me, and she goes up to him and he drinks from her and saves his life by –
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: – by, by, by drinking from her completely and knows exactly when to stop so that he won’t kill her. And they’re all like, ohmygodohmygodohmygod, and she’s like, it’s fine! It’s fine! He knows me! He trusts me, and I trust him.
Melody: It’s beautiful.
Sarah: It’s so beautiful!
Jenny: Kathryn Moon! How, like, the tension that she keeps, because this is – I, I love romance, obviously, right?
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: Right, right!
Jenny: But I do find myself sometimes where I’m like, once the couple is sort of together, the tension is gone for me –
Melody: Right.
Sarah: Yes!
Jenny: – and it can be sort of a slog to get through the back half –
Sarah: Yes.
Jenny: – of the book.
Melody: Right.
Jenny: And this is just like yo-yoing –
Melody: Uh-huh!
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: – with tension and, like –
Sarah: Yep!
Jenny: – and fucking and tension and fucking, and it’s masterful!
Sarah: It really is.
Melody: Mm-hmm!
Sarah: So they all –
Melody: Yeah.
Sarah: – go back and they realize, wait a minute, it’s daylight. We cannot bring Auguste out. He, it’s, it’s daylight –
Melody: But –
Sarah: – he’ll die!
Melody: – Birsha could come back at any moment, so we ha-, like, we have to leave, regardless.
Sarah: Yes. We have to get to Amon’s house, because that is safe. We can’t stay here, but we can’t bring Auguste out because it’s sunlight, and Amon says, I can help. And Amon uses his magic to extend the protection from the sun over Auguste so Auguste can walk out into the sun without –
Jenny: Wow!
Sarah: – danger.
Melody: He’s a daywalker now, Jenny.
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: And that’s some power.
Sarah: And the moment he sees his own shadow, and he’s just like, oh my gosh, this is amazing!
Melody: Yeah! And I really liked this because she’s like, oh my gosh! Amon, I can’t believe you did this! This is amazing! And he’s like, honestly, I really, don’t thank me; I should have done it ages ago, and, like, I knew I could do it and I didn’t. And she’s like, no! You’re, you’re wonderful! And she’s hugging him, and it’s, it’s really, it’s really sweet. I would have been a little ticked –
Sarah: [Laughs]
Melody: – that this could happen and it didn’t, but that’s fine.
Jenny: Yeah. [Laughs]
Sarah: Yep.
Melody: It’s fine.
Sarah: And –
Jenny: He did it eventually.
Melody: She’s much more generous than I. [Laughs]
Sarah: And Auguste says, this is, this is a gift. This is rebirth. You have, you have given me a rebirth into the world.
Jenny: Oof!
Melody: Yeaahh!
Sarah: And Amon is actually a little embarrassed –
Jenny: Oh, they’re such a good family!
Sarah: – that he didn’t get it done.
Melody: Well, and, and now she’s like, this is incredible, because we don’t have to be apart! Like, this is, this is everything I’ve wanted –
Sarah: Yes!
Melody: – for the entirety of our relationship, because I don’t like going twelve hours with one of us being away from the others.
Sarah: Exactly.
Jenny: Mmm.
Sarah: And Amon recognized –
Melody: Ah!
Sarah: – he, she is sad when he is gone, so he will make it so they are together.
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: Mm!
Sarah: But wait, there’s more!
Melody: So now they’re like, we’re not going to stay at Rooksgrave, but we do need to figure out something, and a lot of the guys have, like, closed their London houses and had them protected so that Birsha can’t get to them.
Sarah: ‘Cause Birsha’s after all of them now because Birsha knows all of her men, she knows all, he knows all of the people who are with Esther.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: They are all vulnerable, and Amon says –
Jenny: Mmm.
Sarah: – well, Birsha has no territory where I am from in the Middle East, and we will go to Egypt, to my home.
Jenny: [Gasps]
Sarah: So they travel –
Melody: And they’re going, they will, they go!
Sarah: They go to Egypt. They –
Jenny: Yeah.
Melody: They live there now!
Sarah: They live in Egypt.
Melody: In a giant fuck palace!
Sarah: In a giant fuck palace –
Jenny: Oh, a fuck palace in Egypt!
Sarah: – outside of Cairo.
Jenny: Fantasy of fantasies!
Sarah: It is, it is isolated; no one knows where they are; and they just bone and hang out; and it is, they live in Star Manor –
Jenny: Oh!
Sarah: – in Egypt.
Melody: Yes!
Jenny: Oh wow!
Melody: So they, they bone and they hang out, and then they also, like, do tiny archaeological excursions because they’re trying to find out what, what Birsha is –
Sarah: Right, and what his vulnerability is.
Melody: – who made him –
Sarah: Yeah.
Melody: – what’s his deal? How do we kill him?
Sarah: Yeah, they’re trying to figure out how to make Birsha vulnerable, and then there’s an epilogue.
Melody: Yes.
Jenny: [Gasps]
Sarah: And in the epilogue there’s one last thing that needs to be addressed, and at one point she had asked Auguste, does being a vampire ever get old? And she says, he says, no. No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t get old. Could I be one? And he said, ask me again in a year.
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: And so she finds him and she asks him.
Melody: No, no, he says, do you remember what you asked me?
Sarah: Yes! Do you remember what you asked me? And she’s like, yes. And he says, do you remember what you said?
Melody: I think you would make a great vampire.
Sarah: She said, well, I asked you, would I make a good vampire? And he says, yes, you would make an incredible one. And he’s offering to turn her so that she would be immortal too.
Melody: And he’s like, we’ve seen what, what Amon can do. Like, you won’t be sacrificing your days, and she’s, she’s like, oh my God, you’re offering me, like, forever with my family! We’d have to figure out something for Ezra, and he’s like, yeah, we definitely would have to do that, but we will! And so they’re going to be a family forever!
Jenny: Forever and ever and ever!
Sarah: My gentlemen, my family, my home.
Jenny: [Gasps]
Melody: It’s beautiful.
Jenny: Holy fuckballs!
Melody: I know.
Sarah: And the sequel is out –
Melody: Uh-huh.
Sarah: – in May, at the end of May, and it takes place in the theater.
Jenny: Yeah, ‘cause when you said, The Company of Fiends I think is the title of the next one, and I was like –
Melody: Yep.
Jenny: – are we going back to the fuck theater?
Melody and Sarah: Yes!
Sarah: Part two is fuck theater, part deux. Yep!
Melody: Incredible.
Jenny: Is it, do we know anything about it? Like, is it these characters, or do we get a different family?
Sarah: No, it doesn’t sound like it. So The Company of Fiends, number two, is out on May 25th, and it stars a woman who works on the stage. Her name is, her last name is Nix. Hazel Nix: she –
Melody: Good name!
Sarah: – is perfect for the theater, it is perfect for her, and she is hiding a great secret from her monstrous peers, and after so many lovers she is thinking of leaving the theater. Ah, yes, there’s a disaster at the theater, girls are missing, bad luck plagues the stage, and between ex-lovers, bed partners, and new faces, her heart is tangled and she has to make a choice: start fresh or take a stand and fight for the family she’s found in the strangest of places.
Jenny: [Sighs]
Melody: Ahhh!
Jenny: I’m excited!
Melody: Yeah.
Jenny: I’m going to read Kathryn Moon’s entire backlist in the meantime.
Melody: Uh-huh!
Jenny: Yep.
Melody: Absolutely!
Sarah: Isn’t this book just delightful?
Jenny: Wow!
Melody: Yes. Oh my God, completely and utterly. Completely and utterly!
Jenny: Thank you for bringing that to us, Sarah Wendell.
Melody: Yeah!
Sarah: You’re so welcome!
Melody: Thank you, thank you.
Sarah: Thank you for having me!
Jenny: [Sighs]
Sarah: This is tremendous fun.
Jenny: Yeah!
Melody: Yeah! Well, and since part two, part two is on Smart Bitches, so is that –
Jenny: Yeah, thank you for having us!
Melody: Yeah, thank you for having us! [Laughs]
Sarah: Oh, it is, it is absolutely my pleasure. There is, there are few things I love doing more than recapping books that are completely off the chain with Melody so that we can just exclaim at each other about them!
[Laughter]
Jenny: Right!
Sarah: It’s too hot in here, but I actually have my Stay Golden, Horny Girl sweatshirt right behind me.
Melody: Yeah, yeah, yeah! [Laughs]
Jenny: Oh, I love it! Yay!
Sarah: So thank you so very, very much –
Melody: Mm-hmm!
Sarah: – for making me part of the Bonkers catalogue! I’m very honored.
[music]
Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this rollicking, two-part recap! Have you read this book? What did you think? Did you just listen to the recap and say, wow, I think I need to read this? I would love to hear from you, and I’d love to hear what you think. You can email me at [email protected]. You can leave a message at 1-201-371-3272. You can also leave me a message with a bad joke, ‘cause you know I love those, and I have one coming up in a few minutes.
Thank you again to Melody and Jenny for inviting me to be on Bonkers Romance, and thank you to all of you from the Bonkers Romance community who visited with us today! It’s lovely to have you here. And if you are curious about their show, head over to bonkersromance.com.
As always, I end each episode with an absolutely terrible joke, and this week I have a joke from Maggie’s door of incredibly bad puns. Are you ready?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Give up? What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
You get frostbite!
[Laughs] I feel like that needs to be part of the sequel, right? Like a vampire who can only come out when it’s cold? [Laughs more] Somebody just got a really good idea for an erotica novel, and I am here for it.
On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a wonderful weekend! We will see you back here next week!
Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.
[charming music]
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.
Thank you so much for this amazing two-part recap. I read ALORM about a week ago, and it was delightful to hear someone react to the description of these scenes with the same surprised excitement that I felt discovering this book. I also enjoyed the attention y’all gave to the unexpected emotional journey of the story.
I have been laughing out loud throughout both episodes. Can’t WAIT for the next book! PUT IT IN MY EYEBALLS!!!!
I’m so happy you enjoyed the two episodes! We had SO much fun and I’m delighted that you did, too.
I absolutely loved this book, both the erotica aspect and the unexpectedly wholesome romance aspects — I’m DYING for the sequel! This was one of the best-written RH/monster-romance books I’ve encountered, and it pressed all my happy little buttons.
Highly recommend!
I loved this book when I first discovered it through this site, and I enjoyed going through it again with all of you! This book is everything I want in polyamorous romance – variety, real emotional connections, and characters who take seriously the challenges involved in such a relationship. That they’re all exotic monsters with interesting anatomies is just the big cherry on top of this pie of sexy awesomeness.
I’m hard-pressed to think of another book that is this scorchingly hot and so wholesome at the same time. Esther is a wonderful main character with her enthusiasm and utter lack of shame. I don’t usually go in for the one woman / many men kind of relationship constellations, but was happy to make an exception here and have no regrets!