460. A Lowcountry Bride and Fulfilling Dreams with Preslaysa Williams

[music]

Sarah Wendell: Hello and welcome to episode number 460 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, and thank you for inviting me into your eardrums. Today my guest is author and actor Preslaysa Williams. She has a new book out, A Lowcountry Bride, which you may have seen on the site, and she calls this book a love letter to Charleston. We’re going to talk about so many different things, including the process of writing this book over the past ten years, and, because she was a child actor, the weirdness of seeing your younger self in animated GIFs on the internet. I imagine that’s very weird.

Now, if you are a sympathy crier like I am – hi – heads up! Preslaysa gets a little choked up at one point in this interview. Nothing bad, but if you’re a sympathy crier and you’re driving, I want you to be safe, so be aware that about, mm, twenty to twenty-two minutes in, she gets a little choked up when she talks about giving advice to her younger self.

I will have links to all of the books and all of the places you can find Preslaysa Williams and her work in the show notes at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast.

And if you are reading this episode, that is due to our Patreon community, who make sure that every episode is accessible and transcribed by garlicknitter – thank you, garlicknitter. [You’re welcome! – gk] If you support the work we do or you enjoy the show or would like to help us make everything as accessible as possible each week, have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches. Monthly pledges start at one dollar a month, and our Patreon community is filled with some lovely, lovely human beings.

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I had a wonderful time talking with Preslaysa, and I hope you enjoy our conversation. Let’s get to it, shall we? On with the podcast.

[music]

Preslaysa Williams: My name is Preslaysa Williams. I am an author. I write contemporary romance and women’s fiction. I am a home school mother. I’ve been home schooling pre-quarantine, and that’s just become a regular part of my life. I’m an actor. I’ve been acting since I was a child, but I did take off during the motherhood stages, and, and I’m not doing it as heavily as I did when I was in my teens and twenties, but I, I do act, and I go out on auditions on occasion. I do laundry; I do, sometimes I do dishes. I don’t cook. I don’t cook.

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: Just basically, just writer, actor, mom!

Sarah: So let’s start with your book. Congratulations on –

Preslaysa: Thank you!

Sarah: – A Lowcountry Bride!

Preslaysa: Thank you so much! I’m really excited about it.

Sarah: You must be extremely excited. What will readers find?

Preslaysa: Hmm, what will you find in this book? Readers will find a love letter to Charleston. That’s what I, what I like to call it, a love letter to Charleston. It’s a sweet romance about a bridal gown designer and a man who owns a bridal shop – he inherited it from his deceased mother. He suffered a lot of loss in his life in the past. He’s trying to figure out, you know, should he let himself love again? Is that even possible to love again after, after everything that he’s been through? I’m trying not to give too much away, but after everything he’s been through, that’s like a running question in the back of his mind. And for my heroine Maya, the question that she has to ask herself is, is she going to allow herself to love again, or to love, given the constraints on her life?

I love the book; I love Charleston. The reason why I chose, I chose that, that location is because I lived in Charleston for many years in my early twenties, and I just fell in love with the people and the place, and I still go back there today. I haven’t gone back during the pandemic, but I still visit my friends and, and all of that still, still to this day, and I just fell in love with it. I went to grad school there, and my husband was stationed there in the military, and that was the place where I, I came into my own as a, as an adult, I say. I became an adult in Charleston, and I just fell in love with it. And then the more I studied it and the more I learned about the history and everything, I just was like, I have to write love stories set in this place, ‘cause I love it so much! [Laughs]

Sarah: And you captured some of the very particular elements of Charleston, about how even a, a town that is not a super-large city, it’s not a super-large place, it still has –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – very specific and intimate neighborhoods connected to the history of the, of the town. It’s, it’s wonderful how much that influences, even today, right?

Preslaysa: Yeah, yeah! Even today. The, the, the particular pieces of history that really captured me was the Black history in Charleston –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – and I kind of weave that in. Even though this is a contemporary romance, I kind of weave that in a little bit in the story. The Port of Charleston was one of the places where the majority of African, enslaved African people came through into the, into North America. They say about forty, maybe forty percent approximately of the enslaved Africans came through the Port of Charleston during the trans-Atlantic slave trade, and so I do have my, even my contemporary characters thinking about that in their minds during the course of the story, so.

Sarah: Yeah. And in a place –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – like Charleston, the past is so much a part of the present.

Preslaysa: Yes.

Sarah: You, you can’t be like, except for this part over here, we’re not going to talk about –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – this part, and no, it’s all, it all has to be in the present. If only part of it is –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – then all of it is, right?

Preslaysa: Yeah, yeah! So yeah, so, like a lot of times when people think of Charleston, especially tourists, they think of the beauty and the idyllic, you know, settings, and that’s something that I capture in this book, because that’s just the type of book that I love to, to read and write, but I can’t, like you said, Sarah, I can’t ignore the history, and I, I notice that when people do talk about it or write about the place, they, they, they kind of ignore it or they just focused on one aspect, and they blend together, the sweet and the bittersweet –

Sarah: Yep!

Preslaysa: – come together, and I, I hope that I’m able to meld the two, because that’s, that’s how our life is!

Sarah: Now, I noticed in the Acknowledgments, and if you’ve wondered who reads the Acknowledgments of your book, it is me – I love Author’s Notes, I love Acknowledgments, because it’s the part where you as the writer get to talk to the reader about the book instead of just telling the story; you get to talk about the story itself – and I noticed you started this book in 2010!

Preslaysa: Yeah! [Laughs]

Sarah: Holy cow! How did this story evolve over ten years? It must be such an overwhelming feeling to know that after ten years it’s going to be out in the world!

Preslaysa: Yeah, it is so –

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: – yeah, just even thinking about that it’s, that it will be out in the world after I’ve held it so close to me for so long is, is really, like, overwhelming and – in a great way. How did this story evolve over ten years? Oh my goodness. When I originally wrote the book, I did not have Black main characters in the story.

Sarah: Oh!

Preslaysa: That is the first thing: it was not an Own Voices book. The characters, the main characters were white. During my course of growth as a person, coming into my own and accepting myself, my own identity as a Black and Filipino person, the story started to change and evolve. The core of the story remains the same: it is a love story about a bridal gown designer and a single dad who’s former military, and they meet and fall in love. I changed the, the identity, or the ethnic identity, of the main characters around 2018, 2019, ‘cause that was when I was really starting to think about, you know, my place in America as a Black woman, as a Filipino woman. What does that mean? And just for my own experiences with discrimination, I really was forced to, like, just say, you know, how do I want to live the rest of my life knowing that there are these structural constraints around my identity, but I am still, you know, a human being and a person and I have dreams, but how do I live moving forward in a land, in a country that, that historically has been very cruel to my ancestors, and we see that even today? The only way that I could do that was to embrace all of me, and so I changed the story, I changed their ethnic identity, and I made Maya Black and Filipino, like me, and Derek African-American, and then because of that and because of the history of Charleston, then there’s all these other themes that came in. Her journey kind of parallels mine in a lot of ways after I changed her identity, because she, she has a certain design style for her dresses, but it’s not mainstream and it’s not accepted by the mainstream or the mainstream bridal gown industry, so she has that struggle too, and basically her struggle mirrors my, my own and the one that I went through as the writer, so that’s why I put it in. So that’s how it evolved from 2010 –

Sarah: Wow!

Preslaysa: – to like 2019, ’18 when I, when I changed it.

Sarah: When you changed Maya’s identity, did you feel like you knew her better because she, you could relate to her background because it was your background? Did you feel like you knew her better once you made that change?

Preslaysa: Yes, I did feel like I knew her better. I felt like I could write her better because, like, I could put her in situations where I would just think, you know, she would be in these tough situations, like, with her boss, and I could go through everything that I would think through –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – if I was in that same situation, and I could just write it! So it flowed so much, so much more easier for me.

Sarah: It was such an interesting choice for me as, as the reader to have Maya be a bridal dress designer, for a number of reasons. One: I mean, obviously, there’s so much meaning and import packed into the decision of what you wear at your wedding, it becomes a very heavy symbol – literally heavy: there’s a lot of fabric involved – but also –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – wedding dresses are really white! Really –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – really, really white! And Maya is like, hold on: why don’t we try it this way? And she brings in so many different color elements of cultural backgrounds that she brings to this design, and her, her character comes to sort of represent this balance and celebration of a lot of different cultures in history on top of what is essentially a very white base. Well –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – well played, ma’am! Well played.

Preslaysa: Oh, thank you! [Laughs] Thank you! That was the theme metaphor that I was playing with there.

Sarah: It’s brilliant, and it must have been really fun. I mean, your, your Pinterest board for wedding dresses must be absolutely fabulous, right?

Preslaysa: Yeah, yeah, it is!

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: You know, I was looking, when I was rewriting the book, I was looking for, I was like, does anyone do, like, Afro-Asian wedding styles and stuff? And so I was searching on the internet and even searching on Pinterest, and I found one that does it, and I was like, oh my gosh, I’m seen! Someone is doing what’s in my head! And so that was, like, so – [laughs] – so great. Like, I, like, made stuff up, and I’m like, does anyone do this? And, like, I’ll find this, like, little niche off here in the corner and they do it, and then I’m like, oh, this is my element; I just go with it, so.

Sarah: Oh, that’s brilliant! So if you ever decide that you’re going to renew your vows with your husband, you have the dress all set.

Preslaysa: Yes, yes!

Sarah: It’s perfectly set.

Preslaysa: Yes!

[Laughter]

Sarah: In a later chapter – this is not a spoiler; I, I, I try to be very careful when I do an interview about a book that is coming out not to spoil it, because, you know, you want people to be like, oh, really? I wish to read this now. I try not to spoil.

Preslaysa: Right. Mm-hmm.

Sarah: In a later chapter, Derek says, do what makes you happy; do what makes you whole; do what gives you peace, which is a beautiful piece of advice. Where did that come from?

Preslaysa: Oh, that’s so, that’s such a deep question, ‘cause I could get, like, really, like, esoteric and woo-woo on you! [Laughs]

Sarah: Feel free!

Preslaysa: It came from that meeting of when a writer’s just pounding away at the computer and then that zip of inspiration comes from, you know, wherever your spiritual, you know, background comes from, so, like, the universe –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – God, the Goddess. For me, writing is like a spiritual process and a spiritual act. Like, I don’t take things lightly; like, when I see, like, coincidences happen it’s kind of like nudges saying, you know, you are on the right path of where you’re going with this story.

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: And so for me, with that piece of advice, do what makes you happy; do what makes you whole; do what gives you peace, it was basically me telling myself that? [Laughs] Because, like I said, my journey as a writer has been so, such a tumble-y journey in the past ten, ten, ten years or so, and so I, I was always trying, like my own inner struggle was always trying to say, you know, should I, should I write these white characters that I know, like, fill up the bookshelves when I go there? Like, we see, this is what we see, so this is what sells, so should I do this and just put my own natural talent in it or, you know, my own writer’s craft skill, but just have the characters be white? Or should I fully embrace, you know, my, my ethnic identity, my ancestral heritage, and even the struggles and things that I go through, and should I put that into my writing, and how will that be received? You know, will people think it’s weird? You know, will people question it? And so I’ve always struggled with those types of things.

I think it’s probably because of, also, how I grew up. I grew up in a very religious household where you have to follow rules and all that, so even today, I still struggle with people-pleasing versus just coming into my own, and so that’s where that piece of advice comes from.

And I think it’s a great piece of advice for anyone, but especially for me. This woo-woo universe is where I came from! Sorry! [Laughs]

Sarah: I understand! I under- – I mean, sometimes the patterns, like, much like in sewing or design, when you see the pattern and you recognize the pattern, it’s like, oh! Okay. I’m doing what I need to be doing right now.

Preslaysa: Yes! Yeah!

Sarah: And everyone’s happy and whole and peace are a little bit different, and it’s, it’s very difficult, like you said, to be confronted with here is what should be making you happy; here is what should make you whole, and then you realize –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – that what you want is something different.

Preslaysa: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something totally different. And risky, for me, totally risky, too, because nothing’s guaranteed.

[music]

Sarah: I will be right back with more of my conversation with Preslaysa Williams, but first:

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And now, back to my conversation with Preslaysa Williams!

[music]

Sarah: That actually brings up something I noticed: I don’t usually get to look at an IMDb page for people I’m interviewing?

Preslaysa: [Laughs]

Sarah: That’s, that’s a new one! It’s very cool! And on your IMDb page there is a quote from you: “Trying and doing are two different things. Both involve action, but the former reflects faithless action. The latter [doing] reflects faith-filled action.” Now, do you remember this quote?

Preslaysa: I do. Okay, so, vaguely remember it. There was a time when I was making this transition into writing Own Voices stories where I started writing lots of inspirational stuff on social media, and so basically it was me also talking to myself. [Laughs] Like, everything I do –

Sarah: Oh, I do that!

Preslaysa: Yeah, I’m just talking to myself while I do this, so that’s one of the things that I wrote. And so I was just telling myself, do this; do this thing that you haven’t seen done a lot before. You know, do this, embracing your Asian and African-American heritage in your art. Do this thing, and don’t worry about it! Don’t worry about how it will be received. Do it if it, like, like what Derek said to, to Maya: do it if it makes you happy, whole, and gives you peace!

Sarah: Yeah. And it’s, and it’s a really good point, too, because doing something means that you have faith that it will be done. Trying something means that you are just, you know, working and, with the, with the hope that it might. With doing –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – you’re like, no, there’s going to be a done.

Preslaysa: Yeah, yeah. And, and I was talking to my husband about that, ‘cause he, he was saying, we were thinking about, you know, the book coming out, A Lowcountry Bride coming out; he’s like, I’m so excited for you, ‘cause you did it!

Sarah: You did it!

Preslaysa: You did it!

Sarah: Yeah!

Preslaysa: And I was like, I did it! Yeah! You know what’s so weird, ‘cause, like, as a writer, like, I’m, I, like, went through it, like, I sat there with the first line in 2010, and I was working through, you know, the manuscript and what the story’s about and what I’m about in the process, so I went through that whole ten years of stuff, so by the time you get to, like, 2021 and you’re like, oh, the book’s coming out soon! I kind of feel like I’ve been through like ten marathons already, so I’m like, oh yeah, yeah.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: Great! Yeah, celebrate! But my husband’s like, you did it! And I’m like, yeah, I did! But I’m, like, exhausted and tired!

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: And I’m like, yeah, I did it, and it was such hard work! It was a lot of inner work as well as just the writing craft and, and all of that, so yeah.

Sarah: Oh yeah! I mean, if I look back at where I was ten years ago and –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm?

Sarah: – what my writing was like ten years ago, and I can, I can actually go and look at it and be like, oh, well! That’s, that’s changed a little bit! There’s a lot that goes into writing something and working on something for ten years? But do not worry: book release is actually exhausting. It’s normal to be this exhausted when you want to be super excited, but book release is completely exhausting, and –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – you get to a point where you’re like, I can’t talk about my book anymore. I just can’t talk about it anymore. Just, here, book, book out. Read book now? Great. Thank you!

What would you say to yourself ten years ago if you could go talk to yourself from ten years ago when you were just starting this book? What would you say to yourself now?

Preslaysa: Hmm. I would tell myself what the journey’s going to look like. I would say, it’s not going to happen the way you want it to happen.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: Like, as you envision it happening today. It’s not going to happen as fast and quickly as you think it’s going to happen. Your writing isn’t all there yet. [Laughs] I’ll say that: your writing isn’t all there yet. I would say, you aren’t all there yet, but I’ll – and it’s going to be hard. You’re going to have sleepless nights. You’re going to have times when you break down and cry. You’re going to be heartbroken. You’re going to feel rejected and dejected on this, on this path that you’re going on. Whoo! That’s making me a little teary-eyed. But keep going –

Sarah: Yeah.

Preslaysa: – because there’s something in you that no one, no one can take it away.

Sarah: I’m sorry; did I make you cry?

Preslaysa: No, you’re fine!

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: And that special something about you was given to you even before you were born, and if you hold onto that truth about yourself, that’s what’s going to take you to where, where you dream of being. That’s going to take you to that place, and once you get to that place, it’s going to be bigger and better and more beautiful than what you can even imagine today. But it’s going to be hard, so just brace yourself for that journey, but hold on to who you are. Don’t let it go; don’t compromise it for anyone.

Sarah: That is a really hard message to give to your past self, too. Like, listen, hold on. It’s going to be really tough, but you’re going to get there. It’s just not going to be the route you expected to have.

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: But when – I mean, have you been able to hold the book? Have you been able to see it?

Preslaysa: Oh my gosh! Okay, so this is what happened: we were doing the cover, we were going back and forth on the cover and all of that, and the title, and I’m, like, talking to you and all teary-eyed, so –

Sarah: I’m sorry! [Laughs]

Preslaysa:  – oh, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine! So we’re going back and forth on the cover and the title, and that was, like, around, like, fall of 2020 and like November, and then I know, like, publishing dies down Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s and stuff, so I was like, okay, we did that, and pretty sure I probably will get the ARCs probably in February of 2020; that’s when I imagined, like late January, early February. So then I hear the doorbell ring and it’s the mail person, and then I open the door and I see this box on the front step, and I’m like, ooh, what is that? And then I see, like, HarperCollins, and I’m like, oh my God!

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: And I, like, shout; like, I screamed! Like, I like scream. I’m, like, in my, like, mom jeans, sweatshirt; you know, just, like, walking around; like, telling my kids, go do your work! And I’m like, oh God, got to get to the door, and I just, like, screamed so loudly. It was like everything that you, like, I don’t know if you’ve ever held on, just, like, you’ve hoped for something for so long –

Sarah: Yep. Kaboom!

Preslaysa: – and then it was like shock, disbelief. Like, I knew this was going to happen because we’ve been working on this book for like a year with editing and then, you know, everything, but, like, just, it was just shock. And it made me think about – and this may be a, an interesting correlation, but it made me think about like maybe some of the things that my ancestors may have felt. Especially, for example, like my enslaved African ancestors, who I don’t know by name – like I said, get a little woo-woo for you – [laughs] – but it was like a melting of, like, my ancestral, ancestors’ hopes with my own, and then they just came, boom, together in this moment, and it was just, like, weird. And then I had, of course I had to go post about it on Facebook –

Sarah: Well, of course.

Preslaysa: – ‘cause everything has to happen on social media.

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: And so, and so yeah. That’s basically what it was like. It was, it was not only my dreams coming true, but it was my ancestors’ dreams coming through, through me –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – that made it such a moment for me.

Sarah: And the idea that that’s your name on the cover, and it is a –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: – three-dimensional object that came out of your imagination that is now outside of you –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – is really something, isn’t it?

Preslaysa: Yeah! You, like – yeah! That’s what I love about art and the artistic process, especially being a writer. Like, you just hold the stories in your, in your brain, these people, and you’re struggling and revising, and you make bad drafts, bad scenes, clunky sentences.

Sarah: Oh yes.

Preslaysa: You don’t know where you’re going with this scene, but you’re just writing, writing, writing, like I was doing this morning, and then all of a sudden, you know, if you just keep at it like, like that advice I would have given myself ten years ago, if you just keep at it, it becomes something beautiful, and it becomes something that’s you, and it can’t be duplicated. Like I was, like that advice I would give to my past self, like you have something in you, we all have something in us that, that we hold onto, it cannot be duplicated, and now it’s there, it’s going to be there in the world.

Sarah: Yeah.

Preslaysa: So it will transcend even our own natural lives –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – and that’s what I love about art and being an artist.

Sarah: Now, I want to ask you about being a child actor too, ‘cause that’s a –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm?

Sarah: – a whole other form of art, and it is also –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – like with writing, creation of a character and development of a character and creating a character who is real –

Preslaysa: Uh-huh.

Sarah: – while you’re, you know, also pretending.

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: I imagine a lot of people ask you about this, and I have to start by asking: what is it like to see your younger self in GIF sets all over the internet from The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo?

Preslaysa: [Laughs]

Sarah: Like, is it weird to see yourself in a GIF? Yeah, I bet it is! [Laughs]

Preslaysa: Yeah, it is totally weird. Okay, yeah, it is totally weird. See, I didn’t even know that I was a GIF until like last summer?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: Yeah. Last summer I was on Twitter, and I forgot what we were talking about, ‘cause I always just jump into conversations on Twitter with people.

Sarah: That’s how it works, right, yeah.

Preslaysa: Yeah. So I don’t know what happened. I was on somebody’s Twitter page, and for some reason we were like, put your, who, if you were a GIF right now, who would you be? So people were posting their GIFs, and then I was like, well, let me just play around and put my name in there.

Sarah: Yeah?

Preslaysa: And I was – [indistinct] – I am, and then I was like, oh wow!

Sarah: [Laughs]

Preslaysa: There I am from The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo, and these scenes and these making these faces! I’m a GIF. That is, like, the weirdest thing. It’s so weird; people are like, oh my gosh, you were on television! Oh my gosh, you’re, like, a published author! They have this, like, you know, oh, you’re, you’re just, like, amazing, right? But –

Sarah: Yes, and you’ve made it. The minute you’ve published a book or been on TV, you’re, you’re set, you’re done, you’ve made it!

Preslaysa: Yep!

Sarah: Achieved! [Laughs]

Preslaysa: Yeah! Yeah, you’ve made it, right?

Sarah: Yeah!

Preslaysa: But I don’t know, like, for me, living in my body and experiencing it –

[Laughter]

Sarah: Yes!

Preslaysa: – it’s like a series of, like, hard work, lucky breaks, disappointments, crying bouts like you just saw, Sarah, here on the podcast –

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: – mess-ups, mistakes, regrets –

Sarah: Yep!

Preslaysa: – hopes, happiness. And then I’m just like a mom, like, and my kids are like, I’m hungry –

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: – oh, I’ve got to, like, pay the bills –

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: – I’ve got to do laundry. It’s like a mix of, like, all of that; it’s not – I don’t know how it is for, like, big, big movie stars or big celebrities, but for me it’s just like a, it’s just life! Like, it’s never, like, something that I’m going to be like, oh yeah, yeah, I was in that.

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: I’m always, like, chuffed and amazed because it takes, it’s just a lot! I don’t know if you know –

Sarah: It is a lot.

Preslaysa: – if I’m explaining myself right. I hope – [laughs].

Sarah: No, it makes total sense! I totally understand! Now, the show went off the air a while ago. And –

Preslaysa: Yes, yes, it went off the air in, I think in like ’97, ’98ish –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – and that was an interesting period for me, because at the time I was in college. I just started going to Columbia University in New York City, and I had to find my way after that as a person. I was like in my nine-, nineteen, twenty, and so I had to, like, find my way and who I was, and so that was another period of, like, you know, trying to sort myself out, you know, after, after being a TV star.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: You know, what do you do? Do you continue auditioning, you know, on all of this? So yeah.

Sarah: And it’s a big transition from being a child actor to an actor.

Preslaysa: Yeah. That is another –

Sarah: It’s a very big change.

Preslaysa: – big transition.

Sarah: Yeah.

Preslaysa: Yeah, because when you’re a child actor, you’re given, like, a lot of, like, grace. You know, oh, so cute, you know, you’re so talented, and blah, blah, blah. When you’re an adult actor, things become a little bit more serious. [Laughs]

Sarah: Little bit.

Preslaysa: And you know, there’s always, like, the business side of it, even as a child actor, but I wasn’t really, you know, much apprised or, or thinking about that so much, but you know, when you, when you grow up and you become an actor as an adult, you just step into, like, a whole different arena of being, because, you know, I no longer have my mother there taking me on auditions and saying, oh, you did great, or, you know. I’m no longer given that smile or thumbs-up, like, oh, this is great, a pat on the back. I have to, like, stand on my own.

Sarah: Yeah. And you have to do that for yourself, which is hard. It’s very hard.

Preslaysa: Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah: The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo?

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm?

Sarah: Okay, could we just talk about how that show is so perfect for a comeback right now?

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: It’s, it’s a combination –

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: – of so many things that are hot right now? It would be –

Preslaysa: Mm-hmm!

Sarah: – such a great show. So when’s that going to happen?

Preslaysa: Oh!

[Laughter]

Sarah: You’re in charge, right? I’m kidding.

Preslaysa: Oh yeah, yeah, I’m in charge! When is that going to happen? I have – I would love –

Sarah:  Wouldn’t it be amazing?

Preslaysa: – for it to happen!

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Preslaysa: I would love for it to happen. When is it going to happen? I’m going to keep my fingers crossed, because I am friends on Facebook with, like, the executive, the creator of the show and – [laughs] – and some of the past directors of the show –

Sarah: Speak it into being.

Preslaysa: – so maybe I’ll –

[Laughter]

Preslaysa: – maybe I’ll go and send Alan a message and say, hey, we were talking about the show and if there going to be a comeback, there should be a comeback. What do you think, Alan? So. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yeah, Alan. Hi. You don’t know me –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – but we have a suggestion.

Preslaysa: Yeah!

Sarah: Call me. [Laughs]

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: Do you have any favorite memories from filming and creating the show?

Preslaysa: Oh my goodness, so many favorite memories. One thing that I can take away from my memories on that show is I spent like maybe sixty percent, fifty percent of my time on set laughing.

Sarah: Oh!

Preslaysa: In laughter and in joy, and that is because many of the actors around me were comedians, they were trained comedians, but the comedy just, like, Adam Busch, Steve Purnick, they’re just comedians. They’re, they’re not only actors, they’re comedians, and Pat, the late Pat Morita, also a comedian. Most of the time I just spent on set laughing at the things and the jokes that they would just be making when we weren’t filming.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: So yeah! Most, that, that was my biggest memory, just being in laughter and joy. You know, now the, the, today’s climate, it feels so tense, and I always have to, like, make, remember – and I don’t do it as often as I would like, but I always have to remind myself to, to find joy and laughter in, in the everyday moments. But that’s one of the best memories that I take away from, from my time on that show.

Also, I met some famous people: TLC; I met Shaquille O’Neal; of course I met the late Pat Morita; Kenan and Kel from, you know, he’s on Saturday Night Live – yeah, he was on Saturday Night Live. So those are the ones that I, that I can remember off the top of my head. Because there was a fam-, there was a show at the same time filming, All That; it was like a, a sketch comedy show –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – and they always had, like, famous R&B music artists who’d come in, and they would be going through the, the hallway and dressing rooms and stuff, so I met a lot of people that way.

Sarah: That’s amazing!

Preslaysa: Yes!

Sarah: You must be really fun to sit with at a dinner party.

Preslaysa: Yeah, who me?

Sarah: Yeah! Absolutely!

Preslaysa: Oh yeah! I know so many stories.

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Preslaysa: I have the most interesting life, so yeah. Yeah –

Sarah: Yeah.

Preslaysa: – I would agree. [Laughs]

Sarah: And you also told me that you are passionate about paper planners. What planner do you use, and has, how has using a paper planner sort of affected how you create your future with, with doing, not trying?

Preslaysa: Oooh, good question! Okay, so I started using paper planners when I was in high school, and I would just use a regular AT-A-GLANCE planner.

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: And that was just mostly to record my school assignments and things like that, and so – what paper planner do I use now? I got into planner groups on Facebook with other writers, and my planner addiction just exploded, and so –

Sarah: Those are dangerous groups! They’re really dangerous!

Preslaysa: Yeah, they are so dangerous! They enable me a lot to buy stuff, and so I have, right now I have multiple planners in my house. I have a Plum Paper planner.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: I have a Day Designer. I have a Franklin Covey planner. I have a Full Focus planner. So that’s like four different planners, and the thing is that when you use, when you start to get using, like, multiple different planners, I, it’s hard, to be honest, it’s hard for me to keep up with it right now.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: So I’m like in this Marie Kondo-ing my life mode right now. I don’t know why but, like, as, in preparation for the book releasing, I’m feeling like I have to shed a whole lot of stuff and, like, so I’m, like, decluttering and all this stuff, so I’m simplifying. So now what I do is I use, I just use one planner, and it’s the Franklin Covey Classic Planner, ring-bound.

Sarah: Yep.

Preslaysa: Every December, I spend some time in introspection, thinking about the, the next year, and –

Sarah: I do too. Yeah.

Preslaysa: Yeah, and so I, I write down, I, I review the past year, you know, good things and bad things, positives and negatives, and then I write goals for the year, and I also create a vision board. My vision board, I have a big overarching life vision board, and then I have like an annual vision board.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: I started making my annual vision boards like in 2014, and they help me just to set the mood for the upcoming year.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: And sometimes I look at those boards regularly, but usually they’re just, like, up there? Like, for example, I had a vision board for the cover of A Lowcountry Bride that I had created, I put on my vision board in like, 2015ish? And the cover that you see today is very similar to what was on my vision board.

Sarah: Wow.

Preslaysa: So using a paper planner, I will take, like, my goals that I set for the year or, like, things that are in my, you know, my vision board for, like, my life, and I would just kind of, you know, say, what is that one small thing that I could do today to move me a little bit closer to, to getting to that big vision that I have on my wall or whatever?

So, so yeah, that’s what having a paper planner, how it affects how I create my future. I also, like, write, like, lots of, like, affirmations. A couple times a week, like every morning I do that, just to, like, creating, like, circuits in my brain, like I’m telling myself –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Preslaysa: – this is what you have to – and I’m getting woo-woo on you! [Laughs]

Sarah: No, it’s actually totally science! You’re creating –

Preslaysa: Okay.

Sarah: – new synaptic pathways: this is the thing that I’m going to focus on; this is –

Preslaysa: Yeah, this is –

Sarah: – my pattern for success. Yeah, it’s –

Preslaysa: Yeah, this is what I’m going to focus on.

Sarah: – totally not woo-woo.

Preslaysa: Okay, let me tell you, I got into that, the reason why I got into that and so why I’m so passionate about it, about, like, writing affirmations, creating vision boards, making plans, is because I grew up in, I grew up in poverty in, in a lot of ways. My parents were, were wonderful in providing for me, in providing the best for me, but, like, I grew, where I grew up as a child, people were impoverished, just struggling, and so me as a child, I’d be sitting on the front porch, on my stoop, like, watching, and I always told myself, I have to get out of here. I have to find a way out of here, ‘cause I want to be an actor one day. You know, I love to read; maybe one day I could write books! But I need to get out of here! And like I was telling you with the systemic racism, there’s all these, like, structural pressures that want to keep Black and brown people contained, and so what I did and what I’ve learned over the course of years is that I have to use paper planners and goals and vision boards and all that to kind of rewrite the script on my life. So again, I became a life coach. [Laughs]

Sarah: Look, if you’re coaching your own life and you’re pleased with what you’ve achieved, I’d say you’re doing a great job, so keep coaching.

Preslaysa: Oh, thank you. [Laughs]

Sarah: So what are you working on right now in addition to the complete, overwhelming exhaustion of book release time?

Preslaysa: What I’m working on right now is, I’m working on another story set in the Lowcountry. I don’t want to give too much away –

Sarah: No worries.

Preslaysa: – because it’s in, like, its formation stage and early draft stage, but yes, that’s what I, I’m doing now; I’m working on a love story set in the Lowcountry. I love the occupations that I’ve chosen for my people, for my main characters this time, because they’re very eccentric –

Sarah: Oh cool.

Preslaysa: – and –

Sarah: Nice!

Preslaysa: – that’s what I’m working on.

Sarah: I do love some competence porn. It’s one of my favorite things to read –

Preslaysa: [Laughs]

Sarah: – when characters are really competent at the thing that they do, even if the thing that they do is something I have never heard of! Like, that’s what I love about Maya! She, she knew how to design and how to sew and had –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – she talked about color theory! It wasn’t just like, oh, I like this color; it’s, this color has an effect on people! I –

Preslaysa: Yeah.

Sarah: – I love competence porn.

Preslaysa: Yes! [Laughs] Me too!

Sarah: So what books are you reading that you want to tell people about?

Preslaysa: Hmmm, what books am I reading that I want to tell people about? I just started reading, or listening to the audiobook of Passing by Nella Larsen, which is an older book set, well, it was written during the Harlem Renaissance. It’s about a Black woman who passes for white and all of the constraints and struggles that come with that.

I just got, I just started, so I’m very early stages of reading Tif Marcelo’s In a Book Club Far Away, so I’m really excited about this book.

And – I read multiple books at the same time, so.

Sarah: I understand completely. Sometimes a buffet is the best way to go!

Preslaysa: And I just started diving in – this, this was released last year, but I just started diving into Jill Shalvis’s The Summer Deal, and I have to say, I love her voice?

Sarah: Oh yeah.

Preslaysa: It’s so snappy and sharp, and I love the dialogue, and I’m like, wow. I’m really loving this too.

So that’s what I’m currently, on my TBR list, or what I’m reading and, like, perusing right now, so.

Sarah: Awesome!

Preslaysa: [Laughs]

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. Thank you to Preslaysa Williams for hanging out with me. I’m sorry I made you cry! And if you are thinking, I want to check out these GIFs and I want to see the show that she was on, I will have links to all of her books, all of the books she mentioned, and the DVD and places to find The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo. Totally due for a reboot – it would be amazing.

And if you want to get in touch with me, you can always email me at [email protected] or Sarah, S-A-R-A-H, at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books dot com [[email protected]]. I do love hearing from you if you have ideas or feedback or suggestions or just want to tell me what you’re doing while you’re listening. Y’all are really interesting people who do cool things like dye yarn and clean and do yard work. I do a lot of yard work and quilting while I listen to podcasts. It’s kind of cool to know you do that while you’re listening to me! Thank you, by the way, for listening to me.

I end every episode with a terrible joke. This week’s joke comes from Emily Jane! Thank you, Emily Jane. It’s getting to be summer, which means seafood for some people, so here’s an almost-summer joke, courtesy of Emily Jane.

What do you call an annoyed lobster?

What do you call an annoyed lobster?

A frustracean.

[Laughs] I mean – [laughs more] – it’s so silly! I love it!

On behalf of everyone here who makes me laugh – thank you, Emily Jane – we wish you the very best of reading. Have a wonderful weekend, and we will be back next week!

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

[cool music]