The bitches assemble again, this time to answer an email from Teresa, who is nervous about attending RomanticTimes for the first time. We understand! We’ve done podcasts about RT before, but answering Teresa’s letter gave RedHeadedGirl, Elyse, Carrie, and Amanda the chance to reflect on their first RT last year, and what they’re doing differently this year. We give advice about what to do, what parties and events we think are unmissable, where to find some great books, and what to do when you are almost out of pens. But because our conversations meander, we start with discussions of romance cross stitching, and we also talk about Facebook, family, and asking important questions like, have you ever pulled a boner?
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At about 24:00 I make a really uncool mistake. I want to correct myself. When recounting something excellent that happened at an RT signing a few years ago, I mention author Zac Brewer, but I refer to him as “Heather,” in part because that was who the very young, very enthusiastic person was looking for. But I screwed up, and I want to apologize. If you know someone as trans, their identity now is their identity always, and my mistake is pretty awful. I want to apologize to Zac Brewer, and to anyone I might have offended. I’m very sorry, and I will not do that again.
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This Episode's Music
The music you’re listening to was provided by Sassy Outwater, and you can find her on Twitter @Sassyoutwater. This is a band called Sketch, and this is “Oidhche Boogie” from their album “ShedLife.”
You can find it on Amazon, iTunes, or wherever you buy your most excellent music.
Podcast Sponsor
This podcast is sponsored by J Kenner’s DIRTIEST SECRET, published by Bantam Books and available in paperback and ebook.
It was wrong for us to be together, but it was even harder to be apart.
The memory of Dallas Sykes burns inside of me.
Everyone knows him as a notorious playboy, a man for whom women and money are no object. But to me, he’s still the one man I desperately crave—yet the one I can never have.
Dallas knows me better than anyone else. We bear the same scars, the same darkness in our past. I thought I could move on by staying away, but now that we’re drawn together once more, I can’t fight the force of our attraction or the temptation to make him mine.
We’ve tried to maintain control, not letting ourselves give in to desire. And for so long we’ve told ourselves no—but now it’s finally time to say yes.
Find out their DIRTIEST SECRET with J Kenner’s new SIN Series. On Sale April 19th.
Transcript
❤ Click to view the transcript ❤
[music]
Sarah Wendell: Hello, and welcome to episode number 187 of the DBSA podcast. I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and with me today are all of the Bitches! We are assembling again, this time to answer an email from Teresa, who is a bit nervous about attending Romantic Times for the first time by herself. We understand; we’ve done that before. We’ve done podcasts about RT, but answering Teresa’s letter gave RedHeadedGirl, Elyse, Carrie, and Amanda the opportunity to reflect on their first RT last year and what they’re doing differently this year, so we give advice on what to do, what parties and events we think are unmissable, where to find great books, and what to do when you are almost out of pens. And because our conversations tend to meander all over the place, we also discuss romance cross-stitching, and we talk about Facebook and family and asking important questions like, have you ever pulled a boner, or used that phrase to describe something?
Now, I have a bunch of other things to talk about during the intro, but most importantly, I screwed up, and I would like to fix it. At about 24 minutes in, I make a really uncool mistake. I want to correct myself, and I want to apologize up front, because there was no way for me to edit this and correct myself, so this was the best solution I could come up with. When I’m recounting something excellent that happened at RT at the book signing a few years ago, I mention author Zac Brewer, but I refer to him as Heather, in part because that was who the very young, very enthusiastic reader was looking for, but that was seriously uncool of me, and I screwed up, and I want to apologize. If you know someone as trans, their identity now is their identity always, and my mistake is unintentional but seriously quite awful, so I want to apologize to Zac Brewer, and I want to apologize to anyone I might have offended. Trans language is evolving while we speak it, but I should have known better, and I’m very sorry, and I will not do that again.
Now on to cool things: by listener request, I am setting up a Patreon for the podcast. Patreon is a little like Kickstarter in that it’s crowdfunding, but instead of funding a specific project, Patreon allows people to pledge a monthly amount to help support a creative project they enjoy. It can be as little as a dollar, and you’re not obligated to make any pledge at all; the podcast will still keep rolling out every Friday. But if you are interested, stay tuned. I will have info about the Patreon when it is launched, and I want to thank everyone who has emailed me repeatedly asking for such a venture.
This podcast is sponsored by J. Kenner’s Dirtiest Secret, published by Bantam Books, available in paper and eBook, on sale April 19th.
It was wrong for us to be together, but it was even harder to be apart. The memory of Dallas Sykes burns. Everyone knows him as a notorious playboy, but to me, he is still the one man I desperately crave, yet the one I can never have. We’ve tried not letting ourselves give in to desire, and for so long we’ve told ourselves no, but now it’s finally time to say yes.
Find out their Dirtiest Secret with J. Kenner’s new SIN series, on sale April 19th.
The music you’re listening to was provided by Sassy Outwater, and I will have information at the end of the podcast as to who this is and where you can find it for your very own. I also had to go back to Forvo.com for pronunciation help, which always gives me great joy, because I learn how to pronounce things that don’t sound the way the letters seem to make it seem they would. That made sense to me; I hope that made sense to you.
So let’s begin with the email we received from Teresa:
Dear Sarah,
Thank you so much for the podcast. I loved the recent episode with Susanna Kearsley and can’t wait for her new book.
I have a question for you: I may have signed up for the RT convention in Vegas this year. I blame my husband and maybe too much wine. Anyway, I remember that there was a podcast a few years ago that spoke about what to expect at the convention. I’m attending solo, and I’m a bit apprehensive but excited at the same time. Can you help?
From Teresa
Oh, yes, we can absolutely help. And now, on with the podcast.
[music]
Sarah: So, guys, I finished my cross-stitch. It took me two years. I’m so excited!
Somebody: Yay!
Carrie: It’s so pretty.
RedHeadedGirl: So what are you going to do now?
Sarah: Frame it.
RHG: Okay, but what’s going to keep your hands busy?
Sarah: I actually found a pattern software for my computer, and I’m really tempted to just start making shit up. Like, I could do a cross-stitch of the Ladies. I could do a cross-stitch of some romances. I could have a lot of fun. All right.
Elyse: Fabio.
Sarah: That’d be a lot of beige. Like, I’d have to – that, that would be a lot of DMC floss right there is what that would be.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Elyse: I, I don’t know if you can see this, but this is the paw holding I am required to do –
RHG: [Laughs]
Elyse: – when we have snuggles.
Sarah: Hold my hand.
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Elyse: He reaches up and taps you – yeah, hold my hand.
Sarah: Hold my hand, Mommy.
Carrie: Aww!
Sarah: So, this email, Teresa is, is a first per-, is a first year attending RT, and she wants to know what she should expect and have, and asked for any advice you have to give, and what you’re going to do differently now that it’s your second RT versus your first. Now I imagine you’ve all given lots and lots of thought to this.
[Pause]
RHG: Sure.
Sarah: [Laughs]
Carrie: Absolutely.
Elyse: Before we get started, I’m going to toast you all with my Nyquil here, so shit’s –
Sarah: Cheers!
Elyse: – shit’s about to get real.
RHG: [Laughs]
Carrie: Cheers!
Sarah: Nyquil! Now it’s going to get awesome!
Carrie: I love Nyquil.
Somebody: Ugh!
RHG: Right, and this isn’t even the planned drunk podcast!
Sarah: I know! I had –
Elyse: I know. I have a cold.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: – I had no plans to drink on this one. I’m, I’ve been up since three in the morning. I’m doofy on my own.
Carrie: Why have you been up since three in the morning?
Sarah: Well, the, the cats decided at three in the morning they would go and explore, and they would tell us they were doing so. Zeb –
Carrie: Ah.
Sarah: – is obsessed with the cats and wants desperately to play hide and seek, so they announced at three in the morning that it was time for hide and seek, and Adam thought something was wrong, so he got out of bed, which only highlighted Zeb’s desire to play hide and seek, and so Adam left the bedroom and shut the door, and then Zeb spread out with his legs in front and in back straight on the ground, a full-body flop of despair –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – and moaned and woke me up. It was like, [full-body moan of despair] –
Carrie: Ohhh!
RHG: [Laughs]
Sarah: – and then Adam came back in and Zeb was, like, doing wheelies and trying to hang from the ceiling fan and was just so excited, ‘cause the cats finally came out of my office, it’s time for hide and seek, why won’t we let him out? And by that point I just couldn’t get back to sleep. It was like my brain had been given caffeine. It was like, here are some things! –
Somebody: Yeah.
Sarah: – That you can think about! And here’re all the things that you have to do! Let’s think about them in order! We could put them in alphabetical order!
RHG: [Laughs]
Sarah: And I’m like, oh, my God, my brain, just shut up. No, no, no! Here’re some things that you should do! Let’s do them in numerical order, and then we’ll do bullet lists! And I’m just like, I want a sleep! I don’t do well on no sleep. So I read Reddit, and that didn’t help – [laughs] – so I just got up at 5:30.
RHG: No! No, that helps, that never helps anything.
Two or More People: [Generally confirming noises]
Sarah: I was hoping, you know, I’d find some shower thoughts and just drop right off, but nope, nope, nope. I ended up reading about personal finance and, and then at 5:30 I was like, all right, fine. I’ll get up.
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: So, yeah, I’ve been up because hide and seek was truncated and Zeb was very sad about it.
Elyse: How are the kitties?
Sarah: Well, they’ve left my office, which is a little alarming, ‘cause that’s where the litter box is? So I hope they find their way back. One is downstairs under a purple chair, and the other is behind the washing machine on the second floor. He goes back and forth between the washing machine and the dryer. It’s like he’s trying to trick us. All right, let me try to add Amanda. [Connection sound effect]
Amanda: I can see you and hear you.
Sarah: Oh!
[Cheers]
Elyse: Hi, Amanda –
Sarah: How did you, how did you – I didn’t even click anything!
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: That’s just like magic!
Amanda: No, like, it, it wasn’t installing for some reason. It’s like, we cannot install this, so I had to delete Skype and reinstall it again.
Sarah: Skype is such a butt.
RHG: Skype is a butt.
Sarah: Skype can be such a turdbucket. All right, so guys, RT. This is your second year.
Carrie: Yeah.
Sarah: Are you excited?
Amanda: Yeah.
RHG: Stoked.
Elyse: Yes.
Carrie: Yeah!
Sarah: Yay! Are you, are you going to do things differently this year than last year?
[Chorus of confirmation]
Sarah: What are you going to do differently? Amanda, you go first.
Elyse: I’m going to do less stuff.
Sarah: Oh –
Elyse: I, I just jumped in, sorry.
Sarah: Go ahead, Elyse! Tell me all the things.
Amanda: God damn it, Elyse!
[Laughter]
Amanda: Damn it.
Elyse: Fucking Elyse. I’m going to do less stuff. Honestly, I felt like last year I tried to pack everything in, and it was a little bit crazy. So.
Amanda: That’s what I was going to say.
Elyse: Yeah, and I have –
Amanda: I, like, spread myself too thin. Like, I planned every single free hour I had –
Elyse: Yeah.
Amanda: – to go do something, and by the end of the convention, I was, like, skipping things ‘cause I was so tired, taking naps, and watching, like, reruns of Cops in the hotel room.
RHG: She was, can confirm.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Amanda: Like, I was in control. I was so tired, so yeah, less stuff.
RHG: I, it didn’t help that last year this was, like, the end of your grad school career, which –
Amanda: True.
RHG: – exhausts you in, like –
Somebody: Yeah.
RHG: – bone-deep ways that you can’t describe to anybody who hasn’t been through it.
Sarah: And you graduated, like, a week and a half after RT, right?
Amanda: No, I graduated that following Monday.
RHG: Yeah, like, the next day.
Sarah: That’s right. You shouldn’t plan something right after RT. Just take that from –
RHG: Sarah. Sarah.
Amanda: Well, I’m doing nothing.
[Laughter]
RHG: Sarah.
Sarah: Do you know why I’m trying to transfer my race registration, and I cannot do it ‘cause no one is around? I broke one of my cardinal rules. I put something on the calendar without looking at the month view, and I scheduled myself for a 5K in Virginia, 7:30 in the morning, on the Sunday of RT, which is not going to happen because there are no flights that go east that are convenient and not red-eyes that will get me in, and besides I couldn’t run a 5K after RT. I don’t know what I was smoking, but it was a really cool one! It came with a wine tasting! Sort of RT-ish.
RHG: Right? And you needed a costume.
Sarah: I needed a costume.
RHG: And I was like, okay, we might be able to do some fitting at RT. When do you need it by? And she wrote April 17th –
Sarah: Oh, shit.
RHG: – and I went, ohhh, Sarah, what?
[Laughter]
Sarah: Yes.
RHG: What?
Sarah: One of my finer moments. Yeah. So I’m trying to transfer my registration for this race to somebody locally, and everyone I know who actually runs things is like, I’m going to be abroad, and I’m going to be like, shit! I mean, it benefits Big Brothers and Big Sisters, so it’s not like all of the money’s going to waste, but, yeah, I feel stupid. Oh, well.
Amanda: Can I interrupt for just one second?
Sarah: Of course!
Amanda: So I got a, a message just now from my roommate saying, oh, my God, your mom.
Sarah: Oh, no.
Amanda: And –
Carrie: [Laughs]
Amanda: So I’m like, oh, God. And the only thing that my roommate has access to that also my mother has access to is Facebook.
Sarah: Oh, oh –
Sarah and RHG: Oh, no.
Amanda: So I just logged onto Facebook –
Sarah: Oh, no.
Amanda: – and for the listeners, if you leave this in, I am dating someone, and it’s not, like, public on Facebook, ‘cause it’s not a necessity, it doesn’t matter, but my mom wanted to see a picture of us together.
Sarah: Oh, God.
Amanda: So I sent her one. Like, Eric was happy to take one. Like, I was getting ready, and he, like, jumped in the mirror and took a selfie. So I sent the picture to my mother, ‘cause she wanted to see what the two of us look like together –
Sarah: Oh, God.
Amanda: – and so she posts the picture on Facebook and tags me in it with the caption, just had to show off Amanda, my beautiful daughter, and her very good taste in men. This is her boyfriend Eric, and he gets five stars from me for the way he treats Amanda. Sorry to embarrass you, sweetie, but had to share. It’s a mom thing.
Sarah: Oh, God, I can’t cringe any harder! Oh, God!
Somebody: Oh, God.
RHG: Ohhh.
Amanda: I have to say my mom is being so nice about this, but I’ve been dating Eric for two and a half, three months.
Sarah: Oh, way too early for giant Facebook proclamations.
Somebody: Yeah.
Amanda: So, and things are going real great, but, no, Mom. [Laughs]
Sarah: Are you going to tell her to take it down?
Amanda: I might just hide it from my timeline.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: Good plan! ‘Cause there’s not going to be a whole lot of overlap there.
Amanda: Yeah, so, but, like, a bunch of my friends on my – ‘cause it, she tagged me, so everyone sees it on my timeline, and, like, eight people have liked it already, and I just –
Sarah: Ohhh!
Amanda: It’s not the most flattering photo. Like, I’m mid yelling at him for taking that picture, so my mouth is wide open –
[Laughter]
Amanda: – and, ahhh, geeze.
Sarah: Oh, honey.
Amanda: And more people just keep liking it, and I –
[Laughter]
Sarah: Should we all go on and like it too? You want me to share it?
Amanda: I’m having three more likes –
Carrie: Now I want to see it!
Sarah: All right, hang on! I’m going to pull it up. I’m going to –
RHG: Doop-de-doo!
Sarah: Doo-de-doo-de-doo-de-doo.
Amanda: I’m getting, like –
Sarah: Let’s all like this photo.
Amanda: I’m getting real –
Sarah: Oh, hi, there you go! Okay, you want me to like it? Or should we share it?
[Laughter]
RHG: Or we can love it.
Amanda: You’re getting very warm.
Sarah: Wait, which, which, which icon should we use? I haven’t used one, but I’m willing to break my icon cherry for this moment.
[Laughter]
Amanda: She did tell me when I talked to her that she was going to take it to Walmart and have it printed out so she could frame it in the house, so.
Elyse: [Cringing noise]
Sarah: [Laughs] Oh, no!
RHG: No.
Everybody: Oh –
Amanda: This is my life now. This is my life.
RHG: It is. It is.
Elyse: Yeah.
RHG: Yep.
Sarah: You could change your name.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: I’m sure that between RedHeadedGirl and myself, we can figure out a way to restart your identity.
RHG: Oh, definitely. That’s –
Amanda: Okay.
RHG: I mean, since we’re not faking your death –
Sarah: Yeah, it’s, like, 101 level.
RHG: It’s faking death that’s really hard.
Amanda: I mean, if we had to fake my death, I would fully commit to it, so don’t rule that out.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Okay.
RHG: I’m not ruling it out; I’m just saying that, like, I’d have to –
Amanda: Maybe no.
RHG: – significant amounts of thought into the how would one fake your death kind of thing, ‘cause grad school twice and grad papers are what happens when you realize that faking your death is just too much work, because it is.
Amanda: Yeah.
RHG: So –
Elyse: Meanwhile, RedHeadedGirl’s like, I’m going to need three teeth and a pint of blood.
Amanda: Pass.
Elyse: Some hair.
Sarah: Some gravel.
RHG: Pint of blood would be planning involved, right?
Amanda: Okay, sorry, continue.
RHG: Just, wait, we can do it. It’s just, it’s going to take a lot of work, and my services don’t come cheap.
Sarah: Oh, goodness. Poor – oh, gosh. This is –
[Laughter]
Sarah: Yeah. Oh, honey. Oh, wait, wait –
Amanda: Any moms listening to the podcast, do not do this to your daughters or sons.
RHG: No, don’t.
Elyse: If you have to tag anything with, it’s a mom thing, stop and think about what you’re doing.
Amanda: I guarantee there’s a Facebook group –
Elyse: Unless it’s, like –
Amanda: – called It’s a Mom Thing.
Elyse: Unless it’s, like –
Sarah: Oh, there’s definitely.
Elyse: – peeing a little when you laugh, because when you – that makes sense to me, but –
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: Right above you, Amanda, is your dad with, like, one giant wild eye in the hospital doped up on pain medicine, and the first line is, okay, love my husband, but he pulled a real boner on this one.
[Laughter]
Sarah: What does that mean?
Amanda: You never heard that phrase?
Sarah: No!
Amanda: We use it all the time in my family. Like, oh, I –
[weird noise]
Amanda: – this thing or whatever. Like, it’s when you, like, fuck up, you just boned something.
Sarah: I understand boning something, but pulled a boner?
Carrie: I’ve never heard that either in that kind of context, no.
RHG: What?
Sarah: Oh, goodness.
Amanda: No?
RHG: I don’t under- – okay. Amanda, it’s, it’s a, I mean, we have the roommate situation –
Sarah: Cheers.
RHG: – like pegged permanently, ‘cause I –
Amanda: [Laughs]
RHG: – I get it, I get it.
Amanda: I told Eric, and he’s like, that’s hilarious, and he wants to know what the caption is. [Laughs]
Sarah: Ohhh.
RHG: Oh.
Sarah: Well, then you need to make sure that you get a picture of the picture that she prints out and then hangs in the house of you getting grabbed from behind and going, ahhh!
[Laughter]
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Sarah: Dude, I –
Amanda: My mom’s not doing that.
Sarah: Carrie? Are, are you feeling like, like, some sort of ancillary embarrassment like, oh, no, another parent has done a bad thing.
RHG: Either that, or she’s taking notes –
Carrie: Yeah.
RHG: – for how she’s going deal with her –
Sarah: Torture daughter! [Laughs]
Carrie: I, I feel like it’s just, like, what not to do, or is this, like, ammunition that I should treasure?
Sarah: [Laughs]
Carrie: The other thing is, I put, like, earbuds in, and now all I can hear is the inside of my own ears. It’s super irritating.
Elyse: Does it sound like the ocean?
[Laughter]
Carrie: Yeah, I do.
Sarah: A very slowly undulating ocean.
Carrie: It’s, it’s very thoughtful in here. Do I sound like I’m talking normally? Yeah, it’s like, with things like this, like, you want to write ‘em down, and on the one hand it’s, like, what not to do unless somebody breaks a lot of curfews.
Sarah: Yes, and –
Carrie: Right? And then you say, no, honey, you’re not grounded. Instead –
Sarah: Game on.
Carrie: – it’s Facebook time.
Sarah: Yes.
RHG: You might want to be – or you might not, I don’t know – be polite and let her know that this is a possibility, should she break too many rules.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Carrie: Oh, yes, absolutely.
RHG: So she’s aware of the potential punishments.
Sarah: I am not afraid to fuck up your life on Facebook.
Carrie: Right. You don’t want to just spring this on –
RHG: Yeah.
Carrie: – yeah, on an suspecting, on an unsuspecting soul, no. No.
Elyse: My mother has not figured out Facebook, thank God. [Laughs]
RHG: Mine –
Sarah: Oh, she’s on really good painkillers. Let’s, let’s, let’s make that happen!
Elyse: Ohhh, yeah.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Elyse: She doesn’t, she’s barely got texting down.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Okay. So you’re going to do less.
Elyse: I’m going to do less.
Sarah: So what were the things that you wanted to do last year that at the end of it you were like, yeah, that was too much. Like, are there things, if you were, if you were color coding the schedule with the different kinds of events, which ones would be absolutely do not miss this, save up your energy and make sure you hit these things?
RHG: The Avon book party –
Elyse: Yes.
Sarah: Oh, Avon’s book party is – ho-ho!
RHG: – was, was the bomb. Was the absolute bomb.
Sarah: Avon throws a great party.
RHG and Amanda: Yes.
Elyse: Whatever the event was where RedHeadedGirl and I met Eloisa James. Like, I don’t even remember what the event was, nor did I care.
RHG: Oh, that was the one where we did the, the, the, the stole, the – I don’t even remember what –
Elyse: Ribbon.
Sarah: Oh, fascinators! Wasn’t it fascinators?
RHG: Yeah! Yeah!
Carrie: Oh!
RHG: Yeah, the, the sashes with the flowers. The one where I got the giant book, get, bag of books, again, from Avon.
Sarah: Of course.
RHG: Thank you, Avon. You’re the best.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Were there any sessions last year that you had a really good time at, other than, you know, ours? Everyone should come to ours, obviously.
Amanda: Yeah.
Carrie: Oh, yeah, obviously.
Elyse: I told you guys, you – and I think I was the only one there – I told you guys the YA slumber party story, right? With the drunk cover model?
Carrie: Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was, like, –
Sarah: Them, them’s all my bitches.
Elyse: Them’s all my bitches. Yeah, like, that was a –
RHG: Yeah.
Elyse: – that was a highlight of my trip, period.
Carrie: Well, it was a gift that just kept giving to all of us. I remember it was kind of like late in the convention, and we were all getting ready to go somewhere, and RedHeadedGirl and I were, like, standing at this balcony, and we’re looking out over the lobby, and we’re like, huh! Them’s all my bitches.
[Laughter]
Carrie: Like, it just kept going, you guys.
RedHeadedGirl: Perfect.
[Laughter]
RHG: The We Need Diverse Books panel that I went to last year was great.
Sarah: How so?
RHG: They got the – just the, the conversation about mirrors and windows and what diverse books means, and there’s a number of diversity panels this year that I’m planning on hitting, just ‘cause I’m trying to actively widen what I read and what I tell people about, and the only way to do that is to talk to other people, so –
Sarah: Would you recommend –
RHG: – that’s what I’m –
Sarah: – going to sessions where there are people on those sessions you may not have heard of before?
Amanda: Yes.
RHG: Definitely. Absolutely!
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
RHG: Had not heard of Deeanne Gist before –
Elyse: Oh, my God.
Sarah: Oh, Deeanne Gist is amazing!
Carrie: Ahhh.
RHG: She’s amazing!
Elyse: I could sit and listen to her talk about researching books for the whole day –
RHG: Yeah.
Elyse: – easily.
RHG: Definitely. Definitely. Yeah, I mean, like, there are plenty of panels that, like – what I do with the agenda is I look through the agenda and put anything that looks vaguely interesting onto my agenda, so I, I at least know when it is, and then when it comes time I can look at it and go, meh! Or get out of my way; Zoe Archer’s going to be talking.
[Laughter]
Sarah: One of the things that I really like about the way that RT has evolved over the past few years is that there are sessions about just about every genre, and then there’re sessions about new subgenres, like, steampunk was a huge thing a few years ago, and now everyone’s sort of like, oh, I know what that is now, and there’re always things that are specifically aimed at readers, and the descriptions usually contain the words, there will be books. How many books did you guys leave RT with?
RHG: I can’t count that high.
Elyse: My FedEx bill –
Sarah: [Laughs]
Elyse: – because I just did my taxes, was, like, sixty bucks, about.
Amanda: I counted, and I took home 54 books, and that resulted –
Sarah: You live in an apartment, right?
Amanda: Yes, a Boston apartment.
Sarah: [Laughs]
RHG: Yep.
Amanda: And so my FedEx bill was probably around eighty dollars. That’s another thing of, like –
Elyse: Yeah, I think you won.
Amanda: There’s, like, an embarrassment of riches when it comes to books at RT –
Sarah: Yes.
Amanda: – and so I feel like you want to, you know, make grabby hands and grab everything, ‘cause free books. Like, who doesn’t love that? But, I mean, this year I’m going to be more selective, like, am I going to really read this book? Like, what am I going to do with it? Like, is it just going to sit on my shelf?
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: Am I going to wind up giving it to a friend or putting it in a Little Free Library, so –
Elyse: I think one of the coolest things for me wasn’t just bringing home books for me, which is always cool, but, like, Sandra Brown and Kathy Reichs were there, and I got to listen to them speak, and my mom is a huge fan of both of those, and they signed books for her, and I got books signed for friends of mine from their favorite authors –
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Elyse: – and that was just, that was really neat.
RHG: Yeah, I chased Tessa Dare the entire week and got her to sign, like, five books for five diff- – none of them were for me. [Laughs]
Elyse: The other thing is, it’s –
RHG: And there were – yeah, go ahead, sorry –
Elyse: You should totally, yeah, you should totally go to the book swap table, because some people have terrible decision-making skills.
[Laughter]
Elyse: Like, there’s some pretty good shit on that table.
Carrie: It’s true.
Elyse: You look at it, and you’re like, why did you not want this book that’s here?
RHG: Right.
Elyse: I found a lot of awesome swap table goodies.
Sarah: I Just remember going, oh, my God, all the gay Regencies are here right now! What happened? Is someone sick? Did someone fall and drop their books? Like, why are these here? So the swap table can be very, very useful.
Somebody: Yeah.
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Elyse: I think I would just take, yeah, I think, like Amanda said, I’m going to take fewer books and also fewer stuff. I got a lot of stuff –
Amanda: Yeah.
Elyse: – that I didn’t – like, I, I use the pens. You’ll never run out.
RHG: Yeah, I’m out of pens, so thank God it’s almost time for RT.
Carrie: Yeah, I, I, daily, I look at the calendar and count the pens and go, okay, can I make ‘til RT? I think I can. And I, I took a picture when I came home of all the pens that I brought home, and it was like a coffee table worth of ballpoint pens.
Sarah: Pens are great swag.
Carrie and RHG: Yeah.
Carrie: Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah: So, Orville just tried to come in, and Zeb was like, let’s play hide and seek! And Orville’s like, I’m really large and slow, and I have to pee, so I’m listening to him wandering around the litter next to my desk, and I’m like, if you would hold still, I’m going to show everybody how friggin’ huge you are, but he’s like, no! Dog wanted to play with me! Bleah! So maybe I get this picture –
Elyse: I feel like people are going to think, the people who can see this, are going to think like I’m playing with myself, because all you can see is my hand moving in my lap, and –
[Laughter]
Elyse: – it’s, like, Dewey.
Sarah: [porn music sound effects]
Elyse: Exactly.
Sarah: So I have another question for you: what should you avoid doing? If you are, if you could go back and give yourself advice last year, what would you say, okay, really, don’t do that?
Elyse: I am not making judgments on the cover models, but I felt like anything that involved a cover model was a little cringe-worthy.
Sarah: So the cover models were not your thing.
Elyse: Not the cover models themselves. The way people acted around cover models was, like, embarrassing. Like, come on, we’re better than this.
[Laughter]
Elyse: You know?
Amanda: I, I might get shit for this, but I feel like I could take or leave the big giant book fair at the end. Like, unless –
Sarah: The big giant book fair?
Amanda: Yeah. Unless there’s an author that you’re really dying to have sign a book, sure, go do it, but I guess for me, like, it doesn’t matter one way or another if I get someone to sign something? Like, I had people sign me Kindle, but I don’t know. I mean, it’s, unless maybe I was trying to give a gift for someone and that was the only time I could get an author to sign a book for a friend or, you know, a family member –
Sarah: It’s huge. It’s huge –
Somebody: Yeah.
Sarah: – and it’s overwhelming –
Amanda: It’s huge, and it’s crowded, and –
Sarah: – and it’s loud.
Amanda: – the big-name authors have, like, long lines. Like, Christina Lauren had, like, a line around several rows of tables, and I did not envy anyone standing in that line whatsoever.
Sarah: I am very fortunate –
Amanda: And, I mean, they sell books too, there, but I don’t know, I, the books I wanted weren’t for sale.
Sarah: I totally get it. That’s the only signing I do, and part of it is because my last name begins with W. I’m in the far end. I’ve got lots of air conditioning. I’m usually next to either Jasinda Wilder or Jaye Wells. Last year I was next to Meredith Wild. And you know, we’ve got lots of air, AC, sometimes the checkout line is going by, so I just check out what everyone’s buying.
Elyse: Yeah, it’s definitely –
Sarah: I could not do that if I were not in the Ws. Like, I just, I could not be in that room for four hours.
Somebody: Yeah.
Sarah: It’s so loud and so crowded, and yet, like, you see the coolest shit at the book fair. Like, you’ll see moms and daughters in matching T-shirts, like, a whole gymnastics team worth of young people, like, going to meet their favorite author. I remember a couple years ago when RT was in Ohio, and this was before, before I, I, I don’t want to fuck this up. Okay. Zac Brewer now, at that time was Heather Brewer. There was this young girl, she’s probably nine years old, and she was completely dressed up as a, as a character in one of the books and was like, I can’t find her, I can’t find her, and, and I, and I was talking to her mom. I’m like, oh, she’s right over here, I’ll take you over, and the girl, like, I think she levitated. Like, she was vibrating –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – and, like, her feet left the ground, and she was just staring at, at, and like, oh, you’re, you’re, you’re Heather Brewer! [dithering noise] Like, seriously, I thought this girl was going to spontaneously disassemble. She was so excited, and her mom was just, like, beaming! This is what she wanted for her birthday, to drive to Ohio and meet Heather Brewer.
RHG and Carrie: Ohhh!
Sarah: And then she did, and it was just the cutest thing! And, and I was like, this is so awesome! So if you see, like, these little crews of girls and their moms, I mean, sometimes they drive for, like, six hours to just, like, camp out in the book fair and find all the authors they love, and it just gives me all the joy, ‘cause I don’t know if I could do that all day if it were my kids and we were – it’s a lot of people. I’m really introverted. I’ll be in the Ws with all of the AC. Although this year I remembered to leave myself a note from last year: I will have snacks, so if you want to come where I’m signing, you don’t even have to sign, you don’t have to buy a book. I don’t care if you buy a book. I don’t care if you read my book ‘cause it fell off a truck, but I’ll have snacks, so come stop by, and I will give you food. I’ll have gummy bears.
Elyse: You should totally bring snacks, though.
Sarah: Mm.
Elyse: Totally.
Carrie: Yes.
Sarah: Energy bars –
RHG: In general, at RT you should have snacks with you. [Laughs]
Carrie: Yeah, got to have snacks –
Elyse: Yeah, no, well, because, like, I’m thinking of, we sat in the line for the Avon book party for how long –
RHG: Yeah.
Elyse: – and, like, your blood sugar starts getting low, and there’s not enough vending machine Cheez-Its or whatever to feed everybody.
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: And you wait in a lot of lines for some –
Everybody: Yeah.
Sarah: – for some of the big things. And you can sort of –
Amanda: There was some –
Sarah: – tell because the line will go across the lobby, and then it will wrap around, and you’re like, oh, this must be a big party with a lot of books.
Elyse: Yeah.
RHG: Right, ‘cause you’re like, what’s this line for? I don’t know, but there’s a lot of people, so it should be pretty awesome!
Sarah: Yeah, let’s go stand in this line!
Carrie: It’s really looking good, yeah.
Sarah: This line looks great. Is it hard to make friends and meet people?
Everybody: No.
Sarah: No?
Carrie: But I do have to say that last year I got really wrapped up in, like, I’m going to, like, advance my professional career. I’m going to network, and I’m going to really fit in, and blah blah blah blah blah, and, and of course I ended up just being kind of weird, so this year I’m like, well, screw that. I’m just going to wear, like, my SpaceCat T-shirt and my hiking boots the whole time, and my feet will feel so much better, and there will be enough other people that are, like, that kind of people that I will find them, and we’ll all be very comfortable together.
Sarah: You will absolutely fit in no matter what you’re wearing.
Carrie: ‘Cause there’s, like, every set, subset of –
Elyse: Yes.
Carrie: – people wearing, you know, wearing every different subset of things, so I would say, you know, just don’t worry so much about making friends that you try to blend. Just go as yourself and have a good time.
Sarah: You will blend.
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Elyse: I mean –
Sarah: Romance fans are very friendly people.
Elyse: – every, I’ve, I’ve never felt, even when I would go to something alone, and I would go sit at a table and I didn’t know anyone, everyone was really welcoming, everyone was really nice, and then it was a significant departure for me too, because I’ve done a lot of conferences professionally, how safe I felt there?
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: Oh, yes.
Elyse: Like, I felt like I could take off all of my clothes and lie down on the floor and pass out, and I would be fine.
Sarah: Oh, yes.
Elyse: Like, someone would get me a blanket and a bottle of water for when I woke up, and I would be fine.
Sarah: Okay, well, half of the people who are there are either in the healthcare profession or are nurses and doctors. So, like, everybody knows how to help you if you fall down and hurt yourself.
[Laughter]
Sarah: It’s really kind of awesome. So what are some pieces of advice you would give to a first-time person? What are, if you, if you had, like, two seconds to say to somebody with a first-timer banner something that’s going to help them have a good time? Don’t drink too much.
RHG: Grab a water bottle.
Sarah: Grab a water bottle.
RHG: Oh! Oh, no! No. I mean, grab a water bottle, but also, remember that 95% of the people at RT are women, so if you’re looking at the long line for the women’s bathroom –
Elyse: Go to the men’s.
RHG: – and you look at the men’s bathroom and there’s, like, nothing there –
Sarah: Go.
RHG: – grab a couple people, do a, you know, shock and awe insurgency, and just grab it.
[Laughter]
Carrie: Yeah.
RHG: Just do it!
Carrie: There’s no one in there anyway.
RHG: You’ll be so much happier! [Laughs]
Sarah: Sometimes they’ll block off a men’s room and turn it into a women’s room. They definitely do this at RWA. They’ll put, like, a tablecloth artfully over the urinals. Sometimes they’ll put some flowers in the urinals, nestled in the bowl.
[Laughter]
Sarah: I love using the decorated men’s room if I can find one, so sometimes they’ll do that at RT as well, ‘cause it’s absolutely 98% women, I think.
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: Wear comfortable shoes and clothes?
Amanda: Yeah.
Elyse: Yeah, I, I bore –
Carrie: Comfortable shoes, layers.
Elyse: What was that?
Carrie: Layers! ‘Cause air conditioning.
Elyse: Oh, yeah. Yes, layer.
Sarah: Especially in Vegas. It’s going to be nice outside and, like, -20 C inside.
Carrie: Yeah.
Elyse: I brought a lot of cute shit to RT, and by, like, day two, I was like, fuck it.
Carrie: Yeah.
Elyse: Jeans, jeans, T-shirts, flats.
Sarah: I will go back and forth, ‘cause if I’m on a panel I feel like I should dress up. If I’m moderating something, I really feel like a should dress up, especially if it’s for librarian’s day, but I kind of enjoy RT where I go from being about, you know, 5’6” with heels on back to 5’3”, back to 5’6”, back to 5’3” –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – and I have shoes that I’ve specifically bought just for conferences that are a half size larger so that when my feet swell I can still wear them? Definitely do not worry about wearing jeans or T-shirts or comfortable clothes.
Elyse: No.
Sarah: No one is going to look at you sideways.
RHG: Yeah. I mean, I wore eShakti dresses all day and then would change to jeans at night, but I mean, like, my eShakti dresses are made for me. They’re super comfortable!
Elyse: Yes.
RHG: So, yeah.
Elyse: I confronted Elizabeth Hoyt in a SpaceCat T-shirt with no bra on and pajama pants, so, yeah –
Carrie: [Laughs]
RHG: – confirm that –
Elyse: – at the after awards party, so, yeah.
Carrie: That was awesome. That was the high point.
Elyse: It was the high point for me – not for her! – but definitely for me.
[Laughter]
RHG: Oh, if that was –
Carrie: You don’t know that! I might have been for her! It could be! I would think that –
Elyse: She was very nice about the crazy lady stalking her.
Carrie: She was. All the authors are very nice about –
Elyse: They are.
Carrie: – the crazy –
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: I mean, don’t follow them into the bathroom stall. That’s not necessary.
Carrie: No!
RHG: No. No.
Sarah: But authors are there expecting to meet readers.
Elyse: Yes.
RHG: Right. Although there was one point last, where I ran into Scott Westerfeld in the elevator lobby, and I looked at his nametag and then I quickly Googled him on my phone to make sure he was the Scott Westerfeld and not just some rando? And then I was like –
Sarah: Who, what, stole his name badge?
[Laughter]
RHG: I don’t know, some rando who was also named Scott Westerfeld? It’s not that uncommon a name. And, and I kind of sidled up to him, and I was like, excuse me, can I awkwardly fangirl at you for a minute? And he, he said, um, sure? And I said Leviathan was brilliant, I really loved it, okay, thanks, bye. And then we’re still in the elevator –
[Laughter]
RHG: – so I’m just like, I’m going to awkward over here, and then somebody, I think from Kensington, came in and saw my name badge, which says RedHeadedGirl on it, because that’s how the romance community knows me, and she’s like, oh, you’re RedHeadedGirl from Smart Bitches! I love your reviews! And I said, thank you! And Scott Westerfeld went, oh, Smart Bitches! I’m having drinks with Sarah later! I love that website! I’ve read some of your stuff! And then I died.
[Laughter]
Elyse: Yes, when people know you, that is the weirdest feeling ever.
RHG: Yep.
Carrie: And make sure your badge has the name that you want to be known by, ‘cause I have to say, I had a humbling experience, ‘cause my badge just said Carrie instead of Carrie S., so I, nobody knew who I was. Everyone knew Elyse. Everybody knew Sarah. Everybody knew RedHeadedGirl and Amanda. Nobody knew who I was, because everyone online knows me as Carrie S., not Carrie. For you, whatever you want people to know you as, make sure your badge says it.
RHG: Yep. And if you have to fight with RT about it a little bit, that’s okay; I had to. Not this year; I think they’re used to me.
Carrie: Yeah.
RHG: [Laughs] Although when I went to go pick up my badge last year, they were like, RedHeadedGirl? It’s under – I said, yeah, it’s under R, that’s what the badge says, and she’s like, oh, you’re a blogger. That makes sense.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Oh, you’re a blogger?
Somebody: Yep, blogger.
RHG: Well – [laughs]
Sarah: Okay. My resolution for RT –
Somebody: Yeah.
Sarah: – this year is that I will stay up later than I did last year and not miss the fun stuff?
[Laughter]
Sarah: Which is, like, super embarrassing, ‘cause last year it was Dallas. That’s, what, two hours? This is all the way to the west coast. We’re going to be in Carrie’s time zone, and I’m going to be a flipping zombie, ‘cause seriously? Like, spring forward kicked my ass, and that was an hour.
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: I’m like, oh, my God, Vegas is going to knock me sideways. But I’m staying up, even if I have to do something crazy-ass, like, like, drink a Red Bull or, like, one of those little five-hour energy pods or something. Bless you.
Carrie: Well, you have fun with that, ‘cause I’m seriously considering, like, sleeping the whole time, and you guys can wake me up when it’s time to, like, go eat together.
Elyse: We’ll do, like, a Weekend at Bernie’s thing and just prop you up in random locations.
[Laughter]
RHG: Yeah, right.
Sarah: We’ll just get a luggage cart –
Carrie: That, that would be very cool.
Sarah: – and drape your arms over it.
[Laughter]
RHG: Sorry!
Somebody: Yes.
Carrie: Yeah, but I, I do want to eat a lot, so every now and then you should, like, you know, poke me with one of those free pens and get me to wake up enough to have some pizza, and then I’ll go back to sleep.
Elyse: Being from Wisconsin, I’m very excited about seeing actual sunlight at some point, so I may just stand outside the whole time and stare blindly at the sky.
[Laughter]
Amanda: Warmth.
Sarah: This is going to be one of the conferences where there’s stuff to do outside of the hotel, although the hotel isn’t on the strip –
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: – but, you know, we’re in Vegas: there’s stuff to go do.
RHG: Right.
Sarah: Is there anything that you guys really want to do? I know you want to see the Bellagio fountains.
RHG: Yeah, the Bellagio fountains –
Sarah: We have to show Carrie, ‘cause there’s all that water, you know, and she’s not, you know, there’s –
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
Sarah: – it’s water.
RHG: Right.
Elyse: Male strippers.
Carrie: Water? What is that you speak of?
Amanda: Yeah, I’m, yeah, I’m with Elyse.
RHG: Right, I imagine that Carrie is going to want to take a bath or two?
[Laughter]
RHG: Not because she smells. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just – it’s not her water bill. [Laughs]
Carrie: It’s water! Yeah, no, water is very, very exciting part of our lives in California.
Sarah: She’s going to run the tap while she brushes her teeth, while she brushes her hair, when she leaves the room and comes back –
Carrie: Well, okay, wait –
Sarah: – the water’s going to be running.
Carrie: – we’re, we’re going to be in the desert!
Amanda: She’ll leave her shower so it sounds like rain.
Carrie: Like, you guys know Las Vegas is in the desert, right? You have to conserve water in Las Vegas.
Sarah: Tell that to the Bellagio.
Carrie: The Bellagio fountain people, they don’t know yet. I think it’s –
Sarah: Well, know the Bellagio fountains are actually fed by an underwater – I don’t think it’s a, it’s either an aquifer or a subterranean river, but it used to be the water for the golf course at the Sands, which is no longer there, so they rerouted it for the fountain, so it’s not taking any water from the city water supply?
Carrie: Fountains are recycled, though. But they, most of the fountains in California, they’re on a recycler system, so you’re just seeing the same water go up, go down, go up, go down.
RHG: Yep.
Carrie: It’s just circling through a pipe system underneath. I don’t know if that’s true of Bellagio, though.
Sarah: We’re going to see Carrie over off to the side of the Bellagio with some food coloring, just –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – all right, let’s see! Let’s see if it turns purple!
[Laughter]
RHG: Stand back, guys, I’m going to do a science.
Carrie: Yeah. Science, Bitches!
Sarah: RedHeadedGirl, what were you going to say?
RHG: I want to see Caesar’s.
Sarah: Okay.
RHG: Well – Rome shit! I do Rome shit; I want to see Rome shit.
Sarah: I would be running in a toga if I was better at calendaring things, so I’m down.
[Laughter]
RHG: We’ll have a discussion about what that would have actually meant – [laughs] – and that’s not what I would have let you run in. I would have –
Sarah: No toga?
Somebody: Toga! Toga!
Carrie: Toga!
Elyse: I feel like that wouldn’t offer a lot of boob support.
RHG: Well, no.
Sarah: No, it would be toga with a lot of sports bra underneath.
Elyse: Okay.
RHG: No, I would have –
Sarah: I don’t screw around with sports bras.
RHG: – put you in one of those little things like Diana wears, which is not a toga. You can’t actually run in a toga. You cannot do it.
Sarah: So I would be wearing a drapery?
RHG: It’s Greek, so I don’t actually know the word for it, but I could have made it for you.
Sarah: Well, you know, if they do this race again next year and it’s not up against RT, I will summon your wisdom so that I can run through a vineyard in historically accurate clothing –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – and then drink myself silly so that my family can bring me home. Good goal, right?
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: I mean, this is a legit reason to train.
RHG: Absolutely! Absolutely. We will, we will plan on this.
Sarah: Totally!
RHG: We’ll plan on this.
Sarah: I’m also doing a race in May, No Child Wet Behind, that benefits the DC Diaper Bank, but I don’t think I have to run in a diaper for that one. At least, I hope not. That would be very unpleasant.
[Laughter]
Carrie: It is the best name ever, though. I believe we all agreed on that.
Sarah: Oh, No Child Wet Behind?
Carrie: Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah: No question. And the DC diaper bank is like, we’re so excited that you talked about us! I’m like, you know the Twitter handle says Bitches, right? Okay, just checking. Just making sure.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: So, is there anything on the agenda, other than the things that we are doing, that you have already picked out, or have you guys not looked at the agenda yet?
Carrie: Oh-ho!
Elyse: I haven’t really looked.
Amanda: Yeah, surprisingly, I haven’t looked either.
Carrie: Oh, I looked, I highlighted –
Elyse: But I totally checked out, like, Thunder from Down Under’s website, so.
Sarah: Thunder from Down Under, eh?
Carrie: [Laughs]
Elyse: I feel like I’ve got my priorities in life.
Amanda: Me too.
RHG: [Laughs]
Elyse: Because my plan, my initial plan, was to make sure that RedHeadedGirl and Amanda got some stripper action, but now, you know, Amanda’s –
Amanda: Uh, no –
Elyse: – out of the running.
Amanda: – that’s not going to keep me from getting –
RHG: I don’t –
Amanda: – like, junk in my face.
Elyse: Oh, okay, okay.
RHG: Well, yeah.
Amanda: Don’t worry.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: We cannot wait to see that on Facebook!
[Laughter]
Amanda: I won’t send any pictures to my mother.
Carrie: Yeah.
Elyse: I actually feel like I’d be mortified by the male stripper show in reality. I’d probably feel really embarrassed, and I’d want to get them all, like, a bathrobe and, like, a cookie.
Amanda: [Laughs]
Sarah: I always look at someone with that much musculature and think, okay, you probably spend three to four hours a day in the gym or drinking protein shakes. Yeah, that’s interesting. I wonder what your body fat percentage is. Like, it, the, the ripped muscular, you know, rumble-strip belly never really did it for me? I mean, you’ve seen my husband; I like ‘em short and dorky. Yeah, that just, it never really did it for me.
Amanda: Well, like, the men are attractive, but the thing that boggles my mind is the thought of, like, a dude’s junk just helicoptering around –
[Laughter]
Amanda: – in my –
Elyse: In your face?
Amanda: – sexy. It’s not sexy to me. It’s just hilarious. Yeah, just windmilling the shit out of it. Like, I’m just, not, like – I don’t know. I’d want to see it just to see it, to check that off my bucket list, but –
Sarah: Your bucket list is a very interesting thing.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Okay!
Elyse: Yeah, I feel like, as a group of introverts –
RHG: Right.
Elyse: – having some guy with a spray tan, like, grind against your face is actually not something –
Sarah: No.
Elyse: – that we would enjoy in reality.
Sarah: No, I won’t have that experience, I’m good. It’s, it’s fine. I’ll take picture for you, but, you know.
[Laughter]
RHG: Okay, but we are going to take Carrie to a strip club, ‘cause.
Sarah: Oh, we’re going to take Carrie to a strip club and give her liquor. Whoo!
Carrie: I’m a little unclear on how –
RHG: Yeah.
Carrie: – I, I don’t understand how this became RedHeadedGirl’s life mission, and –
RHG: [Laughs]
Carrie: – I’m kind of neutral about it?
Sarah: Where have you been?
Carrie: I, I find it fascinating that it’s, like, me specifically that, that she wants to do this.
Elyse: Because –
RHG: Because last year you were like, I’ve never been to one, and we’re like –
Sarah: Wha-at?!
RHG: – we’re doing that.
Elyse: You’re going.
RHG: Challenge accepted!
Elyse: Plus, out of the five of us –
Carrie: Am I the only one who’s never been to one?
RHG: Yes!
Elyse: I’ve never been to one.
Amanda: I’ve never been to one either.
RHG: Oh, my God!
Amanda: Well –
[Laughter]
Carrie: – been living a lie for a whole year, RedHeadedGirl, so, so, in, it’s okay with me if you all peer-pressure me into this, but I’m wary, a little bit. It’s not just me, right, so, so, you know –
Sarah: So if anyone sees RedHeadedGirl –
Carrie: Several of us have not had this experience.
Sarah: – sprinting through the lobby with a luggage cart, and Elyse and Amanda and Carrie are all tied to the luggage cart, trying to escape, she’s taking them to the strip club. Just open the door and get out of the way.
RHG: [Laughs] It’s fine, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: They’re, they’re totally okay. They’ll be great.
RHG: Okay.
Sarah: They’ll be fine.
RHG: So I have opened up my personal agenda, and, like, Wednesday is historical day, basically, and so that’s, that’s going to be a busy day for me.
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
RHG: Whether or not I actually make it to all of them, still an open question, and a number of authors that I was hoping to meet last year, who were not there, will be there this year, like Courtney Milan and Zoe Archer and presumably her hubby.
Carrie: Wait, what? They are?
RHG: Zoe is, yeah.
Carrie: Do we know that Courtney is going to be there?
RHG: She’s on a number of panels!
Carrie: Oh, my God, I’m going to drool all over her feet. Like, like, in a professional, poised way, of course.
Sarah: Drooling tastefully on her feet, totally a good plan.
RHG: Yeah.
Carrie: Well, I’m sure I can up the oddness quotient. I suspect it will happen accidentally. I apologize in advance.
Sarah: Oh, don’t worry about awkwardness. Don’t worry about awkwardness. Everyone is a little bit awkward at RT, because you’re sitting in the bar and you’re like, oh, my God! It’s Charlaine Harris! Oh, my God! Everyone who’s there is most likely an introvert and a little bit awkward –
Carrie: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Sarah: – so don’t worry about it.
Carrie: Yeah, no, it’s, it’s quite awesome.
Sarah: So I have one last question before I collapse and go to bed.
Carrie: Yep.
Sarah: What do you guys get out of having gone to RT? Like, what do you get out of it that you’re, like, excited to have again? Other than a crap-fuck-ton of books, and if I give one piece of advice, it’s pack your suitcase and then put the suitcase inside a slightly larger suitcase and then zip it up, and then you have two bags to take things home.
RHG: Yep.
Sarah: Or use the FedEx discount, which is often substantial and less than the luggage fee for the airline.
RHG: True, both of those things are true.
Amanda: I – to answer your question, I would say, like, the community?
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: A majority of the time, like, when we’re talking about romance, we’re all in different parts of the world, we’re talking to readers and authors, and they’re all in different parts of the world, so it’s nice to have this community in one collective place so you can physically interact with people and eat and drink and, you know, have a good time and kind of put faces to names and, and that sort of thing. I think that’s the main draw point for me.
RHG: Yep.
Sarah: And everyone loves the same thing you do.
Everyone: Yes.
Amanda: You’re not, like, the only person who likes XYZ when you’re at RT. You’ll find at least twenty to fifty other people who are into whatever you happen to be into.
Elyse: And you totally do not have to have any aspirations of working in publishing or being a writer or anything like that. I mean, I have none of that, and it is very much a reader-oriented community.
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: It’s a fan convention.
Elyse: So.
RHG: Yeah.
Elyse: It is.
Sarah: This is our Dragon Con.
RHG: Yes.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: Although if they wanted to add more dragons –
Elyse: I’m more excited to see –
Sarah: – to RT, I would be okay with that.
Carrie: More dragons would be good.
Amanda: – cool with that.
Elyse: I’m excited to see you guys in person again.
RHG: Yes!
Carrie: Yes. I have to say honestly, like, for me, that’s the big draw of RT. Like, not to be all mushy, but I really like seeing you guys in person.
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: She’s looking forward to that luggage cart, y’all.
RHG: [Laughs]
Amanda: We’re going to dance again, Carrie!
Elyse: Looks like Carrie and I –
Carrie: [Laughs]
Elyse: Everyone there’s just really cool. Like, one of my favorite memories from last time was, I think, you and Angela James just came and hung out in our room, and we were just shooting the shit and laughing, and it was awesome!
RHG: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: Yep!
Carrie: Yeah.
Sarah: That’s kind of how it is. You, you, you run into people who are all there for the same reason you are, and I, and I never cease to be impressed by the fact that a couple thousand people are going to take time off of work and leave their families and their responsibilities to their, to their kids and their spouses and their parents, and you know, everyone is at an age where they have responsibilities in all directions, and they’re going to take a week off of work to go to a party about books? I want to go hang with all of those people! Like, we could have –
Elyse: Yes!
Sarah: – nothing in common except this thing, and it’s going to be awesome. It’s the best part.
Elyse: It’s a book vacation.
Sarah: It is totally a book vacation.
RHG: Yes. And then Vegas, so there’s going to be amazing food.
Somebody: Oh, yes.
RHG: I’m super stoked about the food, you guys.
Sarah: Are you doing food research?
RHG: Maybe?
Elyse: All I know is I followed the hotel on Instagram, and there was just a photo of, like, a buffet of just crab legs.
RHG: Yeah.
Sarah: Oh, my!
Elyse and RHG: Yeah.
RHG: Yeah, so, like, that Monday night dinner when we all get in –
[Laughter]
RHG: Descend on the buffet.
Sarah: I can see, like, all of us each with, like, five crab legs in each arm. RAWR!
Carrie: [Laughs]
Sarah: And then we’ll, like, have, we’ll have, we’ll, we’ll have RedHeadedGirl teach us how proper swordfight with a king crab leg.
RHG: Mm-hmm. We can do that.
Sarah: There might be jousting. Jousting would be good.
RHG: We need to find a pony. Well, two ideally.
Elyse: Right. You can’t joust with one pony.
Sarah: That’s true.
RHG: No, it’s, it’s, it’s just –
Sarah: Well, the pony could be the referee.
Elyse: There you go.
RHG: Uhhh, ponies are not good referees.
[Laughter]
Sarah: All right.
RHG: That’s, they’re so not. Ponies have no sense. [Clears throat] Anyway.
Sarah: Any last thoughts about RT that you want to share? ‘Cause I’m sure that this will be an episode that a lot of first-timers for this year’s conference are going to want to listen to, because it can be really intimidating to think, oh, my God, I just signed up for this conference, and I don’t know anybody, oh, my God.
Elyse: I promise you, people will be cool to you. They will be very, very, very, very cool to you. Like, I think out of every, I mean how many people that I’ve never met that I interacted with every day, and there was one interaction that went, like, a little bit awkward, and that was it. And that person may not have been a native English speaker, I’m not sure, so I may have just talked at her for a while, and she was like, I don’t – what’s happening?
Sarah: I met, I met author Rachel Aaron on the last day last year, and she came bouncing up to my room, ‘cause I was packing and about to go somewhere. I’m like, why don’t you just bring a coffee cup, and I have coffee in my room, so we can meet and hang out and talk in real person, and she’s like, I’m an extrovert! And I’m like, oh, my God, I think you might be the only one –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – in this thing since Saturday, and we’re all sort of wilted and faded and a little jittery, and she’s like, let’s do this! And I was like, oh, you really are an extrovert! You go, girl! Anything else you guys want to add?
Elyse: Yeah, I think there’s a lot of introverts introverting.
[Pause]
RHG: Even, if you’re feeling stressed out, that’s, that’s okay. I validate your feeling stress and anxiety, because it’s a new, big situation. It’ll be okay, but it’s also okay to feel like, ah! I don’t know what’s happening! I mean, look, somebody’ll drag you along and show you the ropes, and I’m pretty easy to find, ‘cause I’m very tall and have very red hair. But any of us’ll, will be nice to you, I promise.
Sarah: Oh, absolutely.
Elyse: Yes.
Carrie: Absolutely.
Amanda: Also, don’t count on, like, the events for your food intake, because last year I, that’s the way I had planned it was, like, I’ll just go to all these things and make sure I go to something that has food around lunchtime or around breakfast time, but sometimes you’ll go, and there will be no food, and you’ll be very hungry and very cranky, and sometimes they’ll have alcohol, so you’ll be drinking on an empty stomach. So plan accordingly. Bring snacks.
Sarah: I –
Elyse: Make sure you eat and make sure you sleep.
Couple people: Yes.
Sarah: And drink and, and especially –
RHG: And shower.
Sarah: – ‘cause Vegas –
Carrie: And shower.
Sarah: – drink a fuckton of water, especially if you’re drinking.
RHG: Shower.
Carrie: And I, I don’t want to reinforce negative stereotypes about the geek community, but I have a really hard time getting used to RT because I’m always at science fiction conventions and fantasy conventions. I have never seen more well-groomed people at a convention in my life!
Sarah: [Laughs]
Carrie: Who are you people? Not only does everyone shower and put on deodorant, which God knows I appreciate, but you people, like, brush your hair, and people put on makeup, and I’m like, where am I? What strange planet have I landed on?
Sarah: Girl, I have a spreadsheet of what clothes I’m wearing on each day so I don’t have to, like, get up and be half tired and be like, what am I, what day? What, okay, yesterday was this, all right, I put on these clothes and go here. Past Sarah has to guide Present Sarah through a conference.
Carrie: That too, but, Sarah, my spreadsheet is T-shirts and jeans, T-shirts and jeans, T-shirt and jeans.
Sarah: That’s a good spreadsheet.
Carrie: Yes, I’m, I’m living the dream this year.
[music]
Sarah: And that is all for this week’s episode. I want to thank Teresa for emailing us, and Teresa, if you are listening, please introduce yourself if you see one of us. We’re usually together or often together, and the easiest one to spot is RedHeadedGirl, ‘cause she’s very tall, and her name is accurate. Her hair is bright red! But if you see any of us, please come introduce yourself; we would really love to meet you.
And if you’re attending RT, that goes for you too, especially if you’re new. Please introduce yourself, and if we see first-timers, we almost always say hi, because I promise there are few conferences that are as friendly and welcoming as Romantic Times.
This podcast is sponsored by J. Kenner’s Dirtiest Secret, published by Bantam Books, available in paperback and eBook.
It was wrong for us to be together, but it was even harder to be apart. The memory of Dallas Sykes burns inside of me. Everyone knows him as a notorious playboy, but to me, he’s still the man I desperately crave, yet the one I can never have. We’ve tried not letting ourselves give in to desire, and for so long we told ourselves no, but now it’s finally time to say yes.
You can find out their Dirtiest Secret with J. Kenner’s new SIN series. Dirtiest Secret is on sale April 19th.
The music you’re listening to was provided by Sassy Outwater. You can find her on Twitter @SassyOutwater. This is Sketch. This is my extended tour through their new album Shed Life, which I totally dig. This track is called “Oidhche Boogie.” Oidhche is spelled O-I-D-H-C-H-E, and I’m super, super thankful for Forvo.com for helping me with pronunciation, and to the anonymous Scottish guy who totally recorded himself saying it so I could say it right. So, this is “Oidhche Boogie,” this is from Shed Life, and this is from the band Sketch. You can find them on Amazon or iTunes or wherever you buy your most excellent music.
Do you know how to contact us? I bet you do! If you have questions or suggestions or ideas or you want to talk to me about one of the episodes or you’d like book recommendations, you can email us any time at sbjpodcast@gmail.com. Future podcasts will include me, possibly additional people, talking about romance, because that’s how we roll.
And if we haven’t thanked you lately, we thank you right now. Thank you for listening. It is such a pleasure to know that you enjoy the podcast. On behalf of everyone here, we wish you the very best of reading. Have a great weekend.
[spinning music]
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.
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You all have mostly covered these, but here’s my tips for newbies:
Always grab water, and drink it!
Carry snacks. You’ll need them.
Talk to people in line! You’ll meet tons of people and make some amazing friends.
WEAR COMFY SHOES. Especially this year. According to the RT Booklet the walk from the hotel elevators at the Rio to the conference area is an 8-10 MINUTE WALK. If you feel you must be in heels or cute, but non-comfy shoes for a panel, then talk comfy shoes to walk to/from
And don’t try to do everything. You’ll exhaust yourself and end up missing things you REALLY wanted to see at the end.
Be flexible. Be open to going to lunch with friends or fellow readers/bloggers/authors instead of a panel.
It’s ok to totally fan girl. We ALLLLLLLL have done it.
It’s also ok to go and spend time in your room for some quiet time.
And if I can pimp myself, I’m hosting a Stitch N Bitch in the bar on Tuesday night. Bring your cross stitch, knitting, crochet or other craft and hang out. It’s a great way to break the ice on the first night, and I’ll have buttons and something else. Also, pretty much any time you see me knitting in the bar, come up and say hi!
As someone who met Lynda for the first time at last year’s RT, go to her Stitch N Bitch. She’s super cool and doesn’t bite (not that I’ve found yet) and you’ll have made another friend at RT!
Sarah can you post a photo of your Cross Stitch project you just finished? Love the idea of doing the Bitches in Cross Stitch!
Aww. Thanks, Amanda! I can’t wait to see you and the rest of The Bitchery!
@Carole: I will! I’m waiting to get it back from the frame shop. I’ll definitely share – I’m ridiculously proud of it.
Having stayed at the Rio before I can confirm the walk is a killer. Picture a large V shape- elevators are one top and down and around and through the casino to the other top is the conference center. There will be smoking in the casino. The pool is at the base of the V- so be prepared to walk through a casino soaking wet when you head back up! The Rio is ‘off the Strip’, across from the Palms. FYI also home to the Chippendales. Just saying.
The good news- the rooms have microwaves and fridges. I usually bring juice boxes, milk boxes, fruit, popcorn, and cereal for in the room. Yeah, I always get the bonus search from TSA.
Great podcast. Gonna listen a 2nd time. This will be my first RT.
Word of advice, when you get to the casino, go to the Rewards Center and get a Player’s Card (Rio calls theirs “Total Rewards”). You can sometimes get discounts on food with a player’s card.
That moment when you turn on the podcast and hear your email being read. . . Thank you so much for the tips and hope to see you all there.
It kinda sucks ti live outside of the US. I want to go to RT so badly I’ve said ill plan mu honeymoon around it, go to the us for “sight seeing”.
Anyway in the mean while im planning on going to Australia’s ARRC and it will be my first time and its going to be a solo trip. Some of these advice might actually help me!
Lover you guys, keep it up!!
Wow OK so I’m on my mobile and the typos are crazy…. you can still read my comment right? Lol
How nerdy that I actually made a list as I was listening. Thanks for the tips. My first stops are the newbie workshop and the volunteer table. I figured that would be a great way to meet people my first time out. 10 days to go
Katharine, given this is your first RT, go enjoy yourself! There are plenty of RT staff and long standing volunteers. RT can be overwhelming, so pace yourself.
I think based on Amanda’s Facebook experience with her mom, I’m glad my mom is sort of afraid of Facebook. She technically has a profile, but is never on there.
@LILInda: thank you for the tips on the hotel! VERY handy. This is my first time going to Vegas, and I am VERY excited.
@Katherine: I hope we get to see you!
@Tiffany: I hope we get to see you some year!
Thanks!! This made my afternoon, makes me want to pack my bags for RT!! Have a blast ladies!!
Zoe Michelle
Thank you! Very timely, as I’m packing for my first RT Convention in Vegas right now. See everyone soon 🙂
Newb listener! I am loving listening to DBSA on my way to work everyday and was thrilled to hear someone mention Cross Stitching! Post a picture please of you completed work! I am a lover and stitcher of Lavender and Lace designs/
http://www.tiag.com/index.html from ML-I and am working on Patricia Aikin’s Dragon Carousel https://www.etsy.com/listing/222357685/dragon-carousel-cross-stitch-pattern-by
In my excitement of making my first post, I made several spelling errors, please forgive me!
@Ariel:
Hi and welcome! And oh my GOSH do I love that dragon carousel design. Thank you for the link! I’ll definitely post pictures of my finished project. Please stay tuned. 🙂
And I’m so pleased you enjoy the podcast – thank you for commenting!
That sounded like so much fun! OMG, now I want to go to RT so much I’m willing to cross the ocean!