Godzilla: King of the Monsters is arguably one of the best bad movies I’ve ever seen. It’s terrible. It makes zero sense. It’s also completely aware of the fact that it’s terrible and makes zero sense, has fun with that awareness, and therefore transcends objectively awful into glorious F+ territory. This movie is a messy, ridiculous delight. This movie understands that we’re here for epic CGI battles between giant monsters and that we don’t need … Continue reading Movie Review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters →
NB: Welcome to Flashback Friday! (Yes, we know it’s Saturday, but we can make our own rules!) For the holidays, we thought you’d all like to revisit this bonkers review of Blitzen’s Fated Mate. This review was originally published December 12, 2016. Happy holidays and may your celebrating being joyous! I swear to God, Amazon is fucking with me. I mean, maybe not. To be fair, I did some Cyber Monday shopping while swigging cold medicine … Continue reading Blitzen’s Fated Mate by RE Butler →
First of all, you’re welcome. Claimed by The Machine is a sci-fi erotic novella about some aliens who discover human beings, go to a brothel, and have buttsecks. They are not actually machines, but rather they are constructed out of organic material and I know this because machines don’t produce that volume of semen. So anyway, this book takes place in the distant future. Some aliens, who apparently are non corporeal and function like a hive … Continue reading Claimed by The Machine by Emily Tilton →
NB: Welcome to Flashback Friday! Since Elyse is no stranger to WTF books, we’d hate for everyone to forget about her glorious Wereshark review! If you’re like me, you might need an extra dose of laughter before meeting up with family over the holidays. This post was originally published January 27, 2016. After reviewing books about mermaid strippers, orca shifters, and WWI submariner tentacle monsters, I think it’s only fair that I appoint myself the Smart … Continue reading Passions of the Wereshark by Jack Madique →
One of the things that is real and that has been unearthed by the Hamilton fans is this 1861 pornographic biography of Aaron Burr, in which the young Aaron Burr fucks his way from New Jersey to Massachusetts and back in the early days of the American Revolution. We don’t know who wrote it, we don’t know why, and we really don’t know why this anonymous someone decided that what the world needed in 1861 … Continue reading The Amorous Intrigues and Adventures of Aaron Burr by Anonymous →
I was (un)fortunate enough to have had a day off sick and bought some ex-rental movies from the video place that week, and two of them were Harlequin books in movie format. Oh. My. God. Late nineties contemporary Harlequin in visual form was precisely as bad as you think it was. Complete with farcical comedy in the middle of what was probably supposed to be a suspenseful build-up and a WTF ending, it was everything … Continue reading Harlequin Films: Recipe for Revenge – A Guest Review from Erin →
Here at the Bitchery, we’re dedicated to finding you the best tentacle butt sex book available, and I’m sad to say we haven’t been doing a great job of it. What we’ve found is that there are a wealth of covers that imply “t in b” action (I’m looking at you, Someone to Cuttle) but so far none have really followed through with the money shot. I regret to report that First Watch by Peter … Continue reading First Watch by Peter Hansen →
(TW: This is a really sketchy movie with poor depictions of BDSM and maybe a possible assault but we’re not sure. Like, honestly, we don’t actually know for sure because this movie is so bad. So be ye warned.) So I’m at the video rental place (yeah, that’s still a thing in Wisconsin. Shut up) with my best friend when I stumble across this little jewel. Ladies and gentlemen, Bound is a Fifty Shades of … Continue reading Movie Review: Bound →
I found this book on NetGalley and was immediately making grabby hands because it combines dragons, which I like, and a gay romance PLUS inter-kingdom politics and that moved the reading GPS firmly into 100% O RLY GIVE IT TO ME NOW territory. I was reading gay dragon shifter fantasy and I really wanted to like it. I mean, look at the summary: War is brewing between the Greenlands and the Summer Kingdom, despite the efforts … Continue reading The Dragon’s Curse by Victoria Zagar →
Star Princess is the most deranged book I’ve ever read. If this novella were a person, it would be someone who dropped a ton of ecstasy and rolled around in glitter and danced on a laptop while at a rave. This story demands a plot summary with spoilers so beware because I’m going to spoil EVERYTHING. Princess Ro’sa, who is green, is supposed to leave her home planet, Minjet, and go to Earth. Earth is a polluted mess … Continue reading The Star Princess by Jessica E. Subject →
RHG and I (CarrieS) saw Jupiter Ascending and we are here to tell you that it is just terrible and we loved every batshit minute of it. Is the movie “good”? No, in the sense that it was relentlessly derivative, totally soapy, had some god-awful lines, a plot that frankly never did make much sense, and characters that had very little development and when they did develop it was in peculiar ways. Yes, in the … Continue reading Jupiter Ascending →
