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Right, we’re not really assholes here at Smart Bitch central, though we occasionally play one on TV. We won’t disclose any personal information you provide in an e-mail, but we have to warn you, the e-mail may become fodder for a Smart Bitch column. Stripped of all identifying information, of course. If something is super-duper private and must not be revealed to anyone or made public at all costs, just let us know, and we’ll keep mum. Really.

There will be one huge, flaming exception to this rule: If we choose to, any hate mail we receive can be mercilessly mocked in public. In Smart Bitch legalese, this translates to: “We hereby reserve the right to publish your ranty asshattery as an example of fine ranty asshattery and protect therein our opportunity to mock the ever livin’ shit out of your ass.” And please note, hate mail is different from reasoned disagreement. Reasoned and reasonable disagreement is welcome as part of healthy debate, though generally, we’d prefer that you post it in the comments so everyone else can have a chance to read and reply as well.

In Short:

• We will mock you for an email that says, “u suck and ur ugly i bet ur bad in bed so why dont u just get laid and stfu.”
• We will not necessarily mock you for an email that says, “I am so upset at you and here is why.”
• There’s a big difference. Those of you who don’t know it, e-mail us at your own peril.