Today’s Questionable Content made me laugh so hard, I’m pretty sure I herniated something—but then, I’m a sucker for stupid quips involving Schrödinger’s cat. (Any of you who want to write a romance novel with a geek hero and need research on how nerds think and operate, but don’t happen to have live specimens handy, you could do worse than check out the archives of Questionable Content. Also, XKCD.) Some title ideas for nerd porn … Continue reading Dirty quantum mechanics jokes done right→
Bitchery reader Renee sent me a PDF that rocked my world: CheapAss Toys Inc.‘s Poseable Hasselhoff. Wow. Both Renee and I are totally enamored of the “removable chest hair carpet.”
Bitchery Reader Josefina took a long walk in San Juan, and came across some fine specimens of international man-titty in the health supplement store, plus a special extra “WTF” picture as a bonus. Ah, yes. “Arabian Formula.” It gives you more energy, more potency, and really tight jeans, a turban, and a half naked woman grasping your kneecap. It’s like a jihad… IN YOUR PANTS! If you’ve got giant quadriceps, a bikini-clad chipmunk-woman with a … Continue reading Touring Puerto Rico, Smart Bitch Style→
When I first read Janet Mullany’s top 10 lists from the back of her book The Rules of Gentility, I laughed out my nose in an indelicate fashion. Then Bitchery reader Melissa sent me a link to an LJ that had reprinted the set of top 10 lists in their entirety. I emailed Janet Mullany and asked her permission, and she says that if Avon comes after me for reprinting them here, I should…well, never … Continue reading Rules of Regency→
I literally spit beverages out of my mouth when Nathalie Grey sent me the most awesome link ever. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Mrs. Giggles has opened her own ePub! Get ready, all you eBook junkies out there: Trixy Lion Publishing has opened its loving, familial arms to anyone looking for a publishing home. [UPDATED to add: Mrs. Giggles’ awesome publishing house at Geocities keeps exceeding its bandwidth – but that only means … Continue reading Trisky Lion - Sign up Today!→
New author starting out? Publishers screwed you over yet again in terms of publicity? Have to get your name out there somehow, some way? Us Smart Bitches are here to tell you: nothing helps author visibility like an eye-catching pseudonym and an even more eye-catching costume for an author signing. And being the helpful, thoughtful bitches that we are, we’ve done allllll the grunt work for you and have come up with the following pseudonym … Continue reading On pseudonyms and costumes→
So it’s one week till national, and I’m pulling my hair. I’m still trying to decide on what shoes I will wear. Pregnant feet get so swollen, They’ll each want a Croc, but with all that “business casual,” They don’t want to be mocked! And meanwhile Sarah, as big as a barn, will waddle the hotel with a parka on. She hears that the A/C in Dallas is arctic, But with 90+ humidity, that cold … Continue reading RWA National: The Insider’s Guide→
Hello to all our British readers! 231 years ago we declared our independence from you – aren’t you, like, seriously bummed? I mean, you too could have a politically divided society with a pesky terrorism problem and some big issues to conquer in your next elections. Wait, never mind. In the spirit of celebrating the independence of the United States of America (Motto: “Independence? Let’s celebrate by grilling things and lighting things on fire!”) we … Continue reading Happy Independence Day!→
Courtesy of Darlene Marshall: International Condom ads. I think the wrestlers are my favorite. I almost snorted coffee out my nose. Remember: Not Work Safe for Office Bitches!
Suppose you have no weekend plans. Usually this is me – I plan little, but this weekend we have many an appointment which means Freebird will be feeling puny and we’ll end up cancelling everything. But lucky for me, and for you if you have no plans or a toddler or both, there’s Something To Do! “What’s that?” I can hear you asking your monitor aloud. You’re on the edge of your seat? What possible … Continue reading It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s…DAVID HASSELHOFF!→
We love Mrs. Giggles like a rockstar loves his vicodin, and her Blog Drama drinking game had us rolling on the floor. In the spirit of shameless plagiarism loving homage, we would like to present a Smart Bitch-specific version of the game. Feel free to click through the various kefufflage we’ve experiened the past month or so and drink until you feel like Ozzy Osbourne. – Candy starts splitting infinitives, noun pairs and subject-verb pairs … Continue reading The Blog Drama Drinking Game: Special SB Edition!→
