Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: Is there a Pepto bismol factory in their town? And did it flood? Why is everything so pink? Kiki: That blurb color is so infuriating. Are we supposed to be able to read it? Amanda: Also straight to jail for the man who didn’t pick up after his dog. Sarah: Right? Who wants to hook up with a person who hasn’t completed basic potty training? Def. team “don’t fuck … Continue reading Cover Snark: Photoshop is Working Overtime →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: I think we’ve snarked this before but this cover is so funny Is his hand down his waistband while her hand is in his pocket? Gosh I love this cover Amanda: A fine vintage of Snark. Sarah: Such vintage. The more I look at it, the funnier it is. She looks very suspicious. He looks pouty. Is the moment of truth when she pulls whatever it is out of … Continue reading Cover Snark: Wuthering Heights, But Make It Florida →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Amanda: This gives me Barbie animated movie vibes. Sarah: His head is so big, and his neck is so long, and I’m also confused by the size of her head and the length of her arms. This is giving me the uncanny valley vibes of that one Julie Anne Long Cover – not the smirking git one, the giant head lady one. This one: Sarah: “Head too big, arms too … Continue reading Cover Snark: Lord Gumbert Rubberthwaite →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: Pam G has sent us two! PamG: Oh baby, looks like a mystery skin condition in an Elvis wig to me. All I can see is grandma’s animal print spandex. Also, those eyes! We used to get that a lot when photographing the doggos. And, and WHY are their nether regions fading into an alien cityscape. Elyse: Sir, you’re gonna need an ointment for that. Sarah: So the guy … Continue reading Cover Snark: Brooch Toots →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: Is this a PSA? Tara: Or a how-to guide? Do you need hats and/or scarves to transport the crabs after you catch them? Sarah: Gloves, too. Tara: Oh yeah, the tiny ones can go in the fingers. Claudia: Hmm my mind went to pubic crabs, I’m so sorry… Sarah: Oh, me, too. I figured that was why their hair was covered. From Jen: I see one dragon. Is the … Continue reading Cover Snark: Crabs, Gynos, & Dragons – Oh My →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Kiki: Hey friends, have we considered moving to shelter and NOT standing in the middle of the road while a tornado heads towards us? Elyse: Pretty fucking relaxed about that tornado. Sarah: It’s the tornado of love don’t you get it. It’s going to bring them even closer together. By smashing them with debris. Tara: They are letting fate decide! Sneezy: I need them to not with this “first characters … Continue reading Cover Snark: Let Fate Decide! →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Susan. Sarah: The Cut and Paste is not optimal here. Kiki: I’m sorry, how did we get to 5? One night stand, I assume she gets pregnant with twins…where is the fifth member?? Lara: Crucifix dude on her shoulder whispering naughty suggestions could be number 5? A party to the decision-making. Sarah: Wait. How do her arms work? She’s got two toddlers and an artist’s palette in one arm…how? … Continue reading Cover Snark: Baby Load? →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Elizabeth S: Why does the nose have a thorn ring and eyeball? Sarah: I didn’t think that was thorns at first. Amanda: Got your nose! Sarah: Haaahaha Claudia: Not egregiously bad but I did read it as Pokémon Point: Sarah: Nice dick ice cream on that truck there. Not suggestive or anything. Excellent choice of a pink ice cream on the top, perfect angle, no notes. What happens at … Continue reading Cover Snark: Got Your Nose! →

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Alea: On the one hand, the colors are lovely. On the other, wtf? Sarah: Is this My Little Pony fanfic? Also, why do shifters not have universal child care and must be finding daycare for their offspring? Amanda: Dr Nips, Unicorn Woman He just needs a big hat. Sneezy: That’s a qilin, it’s not even a unicorn. From Mabry: What’s with his ribs? What’s with his neck? Does he … Continue reading Cover Snark: Script Font Strikes Again →