The news is bleak right now and a lot of people are self-isolating to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Those things combined can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness, and if you are feeling them, trust me, you are not alone. I’ve had to turn off the news almost entirely and have been talking more with my friends around the country than I have in years. I’ve also been knitting more to keep … Continue reading Learning to Knit and Keeping in Touch →
We’ve arrived at the end of Peter’s “journey” to find love, and only one woman is willing to shackle herself to this guy. Hannah Ann and Peter are in Australia where he will, presumably, propose to her since she’s literally the only one left. My friend April stopped by and, against all better judgement, is sticking around to watch the finale despite not having seen any other episodes. Pour yourself a stiff drink. Here we … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E12: Sweet Mercy, It’s Over →
It’s Monday night and the first of a two-part Bachelor finale is about to air. Why does it have to be two parts? Because the Rose God is cruel. How much wine will it take me to get through this? Too much. Will this be the most dramatic season ever? Fuck no. Peter is as exciting as a moldering dishcloth. Shit, he spent part of this season actively trying to keep all of the women from … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E11: Why is this two episodes long? →
Tonight’s Bachelor is the Women Tell All special which is mostly a clip show and a lot of yelling, but before we get to that, we open with The Dreaded Rose Ceremony. Victoria F and Hannah Ann stand on a platform waiting for Peter. They notice Madison isn’t there. Peter does a lot pacing and tells Chris Harrison he’s in love with all three women. After some suspenseful music Madison gets out of a limo, hugs … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor –S24 E10: The Women Tell All →
Last week Peter selected his final three: Victoria F, Hannah Ann and Madison. As they exited the weird fucking airplane hangar they were filming in, Madison asked to speak to Peter, presumably to tell him she’s saving herself for marriage. Remember, this is Fantasy Suite week where–I shit you not–Chris Harrison gives them a handwritten card at the end of their dates inviting them to share a hotel room for the night. We open up … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E9: The Ultimatum →
Whiteout by Adriana Anders is a romantic suspense novel with elements of survival and espionage. The tropes are 100% Elyse-bait and the author’s ability to sell me on two people falling in love during some really dire circumstances was impressive. Despite this book being the first full book in a series, readers may want to read the prequel novella in Turn the Tide to be fully introduced to the secondary characters. The book opens in … Continue reading Whiteout by Adriana Anders →
Welcome to the cringey-est night in television–the hometowns episode of The Bachelor. Tonight Peter travels to Madison, Kelsey, Hannah Ann, and Victoria F’s respective hometowns where he meets their families. Why is the secondhand embarrassment so high? Because a lot of the time, contestants’ families aren’t really prepared for the shitshow that is this franchise. Not to mention that visiting with a dude who is dating your daughter, and three other women, and who might … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E8: Why is there an airplane in here? →
The Sun Down Motel by Simone St. James was the feminist, cold-case mystery I didn’t know I was waiting for. It has everything. It has intrepid amateur detectives. It has vengeful female ghosts. It has delicious justice and women coming together to deliver it. Added to all of that, the mystery was executed perfectly. In fact, here’s the one-line review I posted on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElyseIndeed/status/1228791553696698369 The book is set in two different timelines, 2017 and … Continue reading The Sun Down Motel by Simone St. James →
This week on The Bachelor, Peter, Hannah Ann, Madison, Natasha, Kelley, Kelsey and Victoria F travel to Peru. Peter has a lot of paring down to do because next week is hometowns, where the Bachelor meets the families of 4 of the remaining contestants (it’s also the episode with the most secondhand embarrassment). Peter stops by the ladies’ hotel to tell them he’s serious about this season ending in marriage and asks them to be honest … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E7: Peru →
The Rose God was not kind, and there are two episodes of The Bachelor this week. Before we get started, I want to go over two things. Firstly, like I said in a comment to my last post, I have been going over the footage of Peter slicing his forehead open in a golf cart incident like it’s the goddamned Zapruder film. It still makes no sense. Did he hit the glass on the roof of … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E6: So Much Crying →
According to ABC, there is SO MUCH Bachelor drama this week that we need two episodes! The one tonight is three hours long! I may need to have my liver enzymes checked after this week… When we left off last week all the women hated Peter, and he looked like he was ready to run away, fake his own death, and create a new life for himself. Instead Peter pulls Alayah aside and tells her she … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E5: Golf Cart Injuries →
