Finally, finally after so much nonsense it’s the live 3 hour finale of The Bachelorette. THREE FUCKING HOURS OF THIS BULLSHIT. I have a cookie the size of my head. It’ll be okay. Oh, also Zach will be the new Bachelor. Pudding: …oh, joy. Dale opens up by telling us, “This season has really been brutal.” YOU FUCKIN’ THINK? So we cut back to Gabby walking away from Erich while crying because he told Gabby he wanted … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E12: Finally the Finale →
Welcome to this week’s Bachelorette recap! My friend Jen is here again. First of all, this somehow still isn’t a finale. There’s an episode next week as well. Pudding: Are you shitting me right now? Nope, I am not shitting you. They are really stretching this shit out. Pudding: I’m going back to bed. So we go back to the Dreaded Rose Ceremony where Zach has asked to talk to Rachel privately. He tells her he … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E11: Still Not the Finale →
Tonight is the finale (maybe? I think?)of The Bachelorette and my friend, Jen, has decided to join me in my suffering. Update: Google tells me this is not the finale. FUCK. I’m guessing next week is After the Final Rose. Pudding says she votes that the season ends with Gabby and Rachel pushing all the men into the sea and spending the rest of their time in Mexico hanging out together. After her upsetting conversation … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette S19 E10: Not the Finale →
I didn’t recap last week’s episode for 2 reasons: 1. It was the Men Tell All episode which is a clip show with a lot of shouting over each other (Ed. note: yuck.) and 2. I had COVID brain. (Ed. note: also yuck. Been there.) Despite her sassiness, Pudding was a good nurse and made sure we took big naps with her each day. I asked if she was going to watch this episode and … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E9: Overnight Dates →
This week is Hometowns, when the Bachelorette(s) visit their suitors’ hometowns and meet their families. So I guess they rented that cruise ship just to sail from France to Belgium? Today Radar decided to burn one of his nine lives by dashing up to Pudding’s bowl just as I set it down and stealing some of her wet food. I managed to grab him before any damage was done, but she was APPALLED. Pudding: The … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E7: Hometowns →
Don’t start Our Crooked Hearts unless you have time to finish it. It’s such a wonderful, spooky, thrilling story that it’s hard to put down. It’s a book about imperfect parents, teenage dissatisfaction, and female empowerment and it unfolds beautifully. It’s also a remarkable ghost story. While this book has horror elements to it, it wasn’t especially scary and would be appropriate for a teen. I do want to warn readers about some violence to … Continue reading Our Crooked Hearts by Melissa Albert →
First of all, I pre-gamed this episode so I’m already tipsy. Please enjoy my rambling about cats. Radar update: He’s the most hyper kitten I’ve ever fostered and I’ve fostered a lot of kittens. I told the rescue manager he needs to be adopted by a family who has 7-10 children because that will be required to keep him occupied. He plays until he pants (which is a normal dog thing, not a normal cat … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E6: I’m Already Drunk →
So last week chicken-poo guy, Logan, was starting some shit by deciding he’d rather be with Gabby than Rachel. Rachel’s already been rejected a whole bunch and is fragile. Also they’re all sailing around Europe on an empty cruise ship because…reasons? I told Pudding it was time to watch The Bachelorette and this was her face. Also joining us is Radar, our newest foster baby. He’s 1.5lbs of absolute chaos and will be here until he’s … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E5: Radar →
TW: Sexual Harassment The Stand-In is a celebrity romance that also celebrates female friendships, openly discusses the stigma against mental illness, and allows the main character the space to explore the complexities of being bi-racial. It does all of that without feeling unbalanced or taking away from the romance that’s the center of the plot. I listened to this on Audible and the narrator, Philippa Soo, does a wonderful job of delivering the story. Gracie Reed … Continue reading The Stand-In by Lily Chu →
What fresh bullshit are we in for tonight? Apparently last week Meatball begged Rachel to keep him, and she did, and all of this happened during the credits, and I missed it. Pudding: His name is…Meatball. We open with Hayden telling the other dudes that he called Gabby “rough around the edges.” “That’s kinda rough though, bro,” Nate says. Hayden defends himself by saying Gabby called herself that twice. “I don’t think I did anything … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E4: Hayden →
Tonight my friend, Jen, came over for dinner so I’m subjecting her to the show as well. She’s never seen it. Will she still be my friend after? Let’s see! Pudding is too busy to watch. There are baby bunnies outside and she has to glare daggers at them. We get through the fifteen second preview and Jen says, “I have to be honest, I hate these people already.” The first one-on-one date is with … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S19 E3: Cringe →
