Bachelorette fan-favorite and New York Times bestselling author Hannah Brown delivers the perfect beach read with her fiction debut—“a fun, fast, epic rom-com” (Abby Jimenez, #1 New York Times bestselling author). Emma Townsend can sum up her situationship with hot-as-hell romantic red flag Finn Hughes in one word: almost. They almost dated in high school. They almost hooked up after college. They almost took things too far one magical night. Their whole story is one series of “almosts” and “nearlys,” and now they just kind of can’t … Continue reading Mistakes We Never Made →
Before we get started on the recap I have a couple of updates. First of all, Chris Harrison has announced he’s stepping away from the franchise for awhile after saying some racist shit to Rachel Lindsay in an interview. Basically current contestant Rachael Kirkconnell was criticized for social media posts of her at an Old South themed sorority party. Harrison talked over Lindsey when she expressed concerns about it and basically dismissed it because it … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E7: That was Pointless →
It’s time for the WTFery that is The Bachelor and this week I have a co-recapper, Pudding the cat. Pudding is our current foster. She’s fifteen years old and beautiful and totally here for the right reasons. Pudding has no patience for this franchise’s shit. Like the rest of us, Pudding is waiting until she can get her vaccines and leave quarantine (aka my office) for her furever home. So when we open, the two-on-one date … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E6: Pudding →
We’ve arrived at the end of Peter’s “journey” to find love, and only one woman is willing to shackle herself to this guy. Hannah Ann and Peter are in Australia where he will, presumably, propose to her since she’s literally the only one left. My friend April stopped by and, against all better judgement, is sticking around to watch the finale despite not having seen any other episodes. Pour yourself a stiff drink. Here we … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S24 E12: Sweet Mercy, It’s Over →
It’s a new year and with that comes a new season of The Bachelor. If you’re new to my recaps, please understand that I have exactly zero faith in the show’s ability to produce true love between its contestants. No, I watch The Bachelor under the premise that the last thing any of the contestants want to do is actually win. So why go on the show? Think about it: you get to live in a mansion … Continue reading The Bachelor–S24 E1: Pilot Pete →
After thirteen episodes, this season of The Bachelorette is finally wrapping up. Chris Harrison promises us that this will be the most shocking season finale ever, which he promises before every season finale. Literally. I’m not making that up. I will say this, it is a ride, so buckle up. And pour some rum into your Diet Coke. Here we go. The show opens with Hannah getting ready for the finale. Neil Lane meets with both … Continue reading Elyse Watches The Bachelorette–S15 E13: Thank God It’s Over →
