NB: Images are back! Hooray!
Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Karen H: I actually like this cover since I generally like men with muscles and the color scheme is different and pretty. But, the model’s left shoulder just looks like it has a weird growth. It’s probably the lighting but didn’t anybody look at it beforehand? Or does it look normal to everybody but me?
Sarah: I didn’t think so at first glance, but the more I look, the more the shoulder/pec/deltoid? sequence on the right looks…weird. Anyone familiar with anatomy want to correct me?
Dear god did he tear his pec and build up both parts?!
I asked my older child, who lifts, and he thinks the shoulder/deltoid area is normal, but that crease in the pec is concerning.
And folks, if you haven’t gotten your mammogram, Mr. Hero is here to remind you to have your regularly scheduled exam if possible!
From Nico: Because there I was, mindlessly scrolling through Copperfield’s, hot buttered rum in hand, when I had to double-check at what looked like a cover featuring a man pushing an axe handle through his head.
(I know he was supposed to be holding it behind his head, but something about the editing and angle looks like he’d pooled a Fooly Cooly and was pushing it through the extradimensional space in his forehead)
Sarah: I read the email from Nico first and thought, really? Then I looked at the cover.
Yup. That axe is coming right out of his left temple. This does not seem like a mountain boss move.
He has mountain bossed too close to the woodpile.
Elyse: That’s a tumor, sir.
Another from Karen H: I simply cannot recognize what the hero is holding in his right hand (actually, he’s not really holding it in my opinion but anyway) and I was hoping someone could identify it for me. Is it a tie, or a sock filled with sand, or what exactly? And what about the dirt or whatever on his left arm? Not to mention the strangely sharp, flat tattoo on his leg.
Sarah: Why does he have arm fungus?
Susan: I’m more worried about his other arm being a black hole that appears to be eating his shirt.
And if Disney sees that woman’s face they’re gonna sue.
Elyse: What is going on with his shorts? The legs are two different lengths.
Did the team order their gear from Temu?
Sarah: Wait, is that a…neck tie? What is happening?
Also she looks like a child and that gives me the creeps.
From Caroline: This cover raised some questions for me.
Sarah: Is Magenta even holding the baby? Or is the baby floating?
Amanda: That baby looks positively boneless.
Sarah: I am all for really good, long lasting sleep for all babies, and for their parents, but I have serious concerns about his caretaking skills. That baby won’t float in mid air forever!
The first guy’s left arm seems to be (improperly) attached from someone else’s body, since it’s twice as big around as his skinny right arm.
And the axe handler will be lucky if he only slices his watch band, and not his wrist.
The first one looks like one arm was Photoshopped to be buffer and the saved version did not include the other arm, so he has one thinner arm.
The second one looks like the photographer told him “Look like you’re an unsub from Criminal Minds whose about to kill someone.” Not what I want from my hero.
The third….I agree about the Disney heroine. Looks like he is holding a necktie and the tatt looks like an anchor, which makes me wonder the backstory.
I think that’s not what they mean when they say tummy time. The cover gives me serious questions.
I have to admit, at first glance I thought the first title was “Kimo’s Head”…
Kimo’s whole right side is less defined than his left. Was the designer trying to decide which look they liked better, and then went with both?
I think the football player stole that lady’s black velvet evening purse, which is why she is so angry.
I am very concerned about that baby. Its back is far too straight and smooth with no indication of a spine or any musculature, not to mention very little suggestion of arms or legs attached thereto. It looks like they just photoshopped a baby’s head onto a loaf of something from the deli counter.
My brain keeps trying to figure out what the last cover has to do with Aligning Planets. Is the baby’s head in alignment with the man’s overly shiny pecs? No. Maybe the man’s head, one pec and the baby’s head? No. Wait, is that baby balancing on the man’s – no stop! (Brain screeches to a halt)
I am unable to see any but the first image. I hope it’s just an issue with my device.
Kimo’s Hero has something so weird going on with that shoulder that I barely notice anything else. I think something’s gone wrong with his collarbone – perhaps he broke it?
Neutral Zone: yes, given the height difference and her facial structure, she’s quite childlike. Perhaps she is his daughter and it’s a single dad romance? After all, if Mr Magenta Alien is shown with what is presumably his baby, I guess the tie-holding sports guy can be shown with his 14-year-old daughter. At least I really hope so…
My first thought was that Weird Cartoon Guy is holding a bag of dog poop that he is swinging towards Disney Heroine. Which is not a romantic gesture.