Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Sarah: Is there a Pepto bismol factory in their town? And did it flood?
Why is everything so pink?
Kiki: That blurb color is so infuriating. Are we supposed to be able to read it?
Amanda: Also straight to jail for the man who didn’t pick up after his dog.
Sarah: Right? Who wants to hook up with a person who hasn’t completed basic potty training?
Def. team “don’t fuck that guy”
Elyse: This reminds me of those bad illustrations you get for discussing OSHA reportables
Sarah: “If your recreational area is flooded with pink slime, please follow these important safety procedures?”
Amanda: It’s the Ghostbusters slime.
Sneezy: Not even a dog can fix this mess.
Sarah: No.
Are the St Patricks crochet photoshopped on?
Tara: Yes! Also those greens do not go together. And her, it’s so bad that I love it.
Sarah: the more I look the more the faux-chet is making me laugh.
Sneezy: This feels like a bad collage.
Amanda: Why is he doing the Arthur angry fist?
Elyse: I appreciate that he bothered with a belt but not a shirt.
Sarah: Is he mad that the kid is dissolving?
Did he just miss the window for tickets to see Bluey On Tour?
I’m confused by the degree of Big Mad with the Arthur angry fist.
Sneezy: All of it looks like moldy velcro, it’s giving me an actual headache.
From Maeve: I just have to share this cover.
Sarah: The only thing I understand visually is that he’s horny.
Elyse: For a minute I thought that was Sheldon.
Sneezy: Me too. I hate all the textures and colours in this cover. Something about the combination feels so disgusting to me.
Kiki: What a…rich visual text. Lots of…dynamic elements. Someone’s photoshop subscription earned its keep on this one.
That St. Patrick’s cover is really bad. Why in the heck would you put that on the baby and then put it on the cover?
I have only one question: Who decided that crocheted briefs worn next to the skin is a good clothing choice for a baby?
That crocheted underwear is not exactly baby-shit green (yet) but give it a few hours.
When I first saw Mr Alien Warrior I thought he was wearing some sort of weird jodhpur pants. On closer inspection I realized it was his tail. . . But his pants fit him poorly, the zipper is all bunched up like when your pants are several sizes too big but you’re making them work anyway by wearing a belt and cinching it up tightly. Maybe the baggy pants are more comfortable for his tail? And what do you suppose the back of the pants look like, just normal but with a hole for his tail? And do beings with tails have actual butt cheeks too, or just tails? Am I overthinking this? I’m probably overthinking this . . .
I want to know why the alien is giving that poor kid an angry noogie with his angry fist.
That last cover is so bad it’s worse than AI. not one element is proportional or correctly placed. And good God, WHAT is going on with that woman’s EYES?
That baby being photoshopped into the faux-chet is bad enough, but its butt is hanging bare below the guy’s wrist, and it’s not in proportion to the legs. That poor baby.
I disagree that PhotoShop was working overtime. These are so bad that they were probably done using Microsoft Paint.
The barely legible pink blurb promises “vivid backdrops”, among other things – so I guess it delivers on that.
The “Gift of Snow” cover seems like it should have … snow. Instead, she’s tossing some random jewels in her hand. Unless the weird light blurs are supposed to be snow? Also, Is this a reindeer shifter story? And do the horns not go away when he shifts back to human, because yikes.
@Kate Rose, now I’m an imagining sharing a bed with a guy who has antlers. Better hope he’s not a restless sleeper. “You’ll put your eye out!”
@EC Spurlock: I don’t know why but “angry noogie” made me chortle. ANGRY NOOGIE.
Also I cannot get over how awful that pink river of WTF is.
The Alien Warrior’s tail blends into the pants too well because I 100% thought he just had one giant hip/thigh! Not sure if it’s more worrisome that I saw that, or that I didn’t question why he’d only have 1 giant hip/thigh.
The weird demon-eyes in Gift of Snow make the pink river on Meet Poop look good…