My husband’s therapist refers to the holiday as “The Gauntlet.” Even if you have perfect Hallmark family dynamics, it’s a lot.
I do not have perfect Hallmark family dynamics.
Specifically I’m navigating two parents with dementia, one of whom presents with outbursts and rages. Routine is key when dealing with dementia and so the holidays tend to be hard on everyone because that routine is disrupted, but in my case, the people with dementia are not yet at the point where we can skip the festivities all together without them realizing. It’s a real bag of shit.
When you combine managing aging parent dynamics and also, you know, The Horrors, it’s SO MUCH. I’m tired. Everyone in my family is tired. My cats are probably tired.
So. The Gauntlet.
I slept for almost fourteen hours one Saturday and realized, okay, we need to employ some really hardcore self care strategies here or I’m going to crash out. That means I’m setting aside my Christmas knitting because my only deadlines will be work related. I’m going to stick to my anti-inflammatory diet as much as possible, and keep one weekend day open for sleep. I’ve taken social media off my phone. I am also going to focus on reading.
Reading has always been my escape, the thing I can do no matter how physically sick or tired I am. It rejuvenates me mentally, putting some gas in my emotional tank. I’ve struggled with reading this year in part because I haven’t been making time for myself as much as I need to.
So for the next month I’m spending a lot of time in my happy place, which is buried under the blankets in my bed or curled up on the couch by the Christmas tree, preferably under a cat.
What is on my self care TBR?
I’m hoping that these books help me get through the next four weeks with as little emotional damage as possible.
Are you facing The Gauntlet this year? What are your self-care rituals or reads?
Slayers of Old
Author: Jim Hines
Released: October 21, 2025 by DAW
Genre: Science Fiction/Fantasy, Urban FantasyBuffy the Vampire Slayer meets Golden Girls in this humorous contemporary standalone fantasy about a group of former Chosen Ones coming out of retirement to save the world one last time
Three former Chosen Ones have joined together to spend their retirement in peace and quiet, running Second Life Books and Gifts in Salem, MA. A calm, peaceful, tourist-filled oasis, where they never have to worry about saving the world. Until some of the locals start summoning ancient creatures best left where they were . . . and they discover that their bookstore basement just may be the portal to the underworld. These ex-heroes may have thought they were done . . . but if they want to finish their retirement in peace, they’ll have to join together to save the world one last time.
Why leave saving the world to the young? Cozy mystery readers looking for an extra dash of magic will eat this story fun, funny, and heartwarming, it’s a novel about community, second chances, and the healing power of scones.
I was a huge, HUGE Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan back in the day. This recent release is about a group of former Chosen Ones who are in retirement, but now have to save the world one last time. I love the premise, and I also got this one on audio because I think my husband would enjoy listening to it with me.
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Author: Claire North
Released: November 18, 2025 by Orbit
Genre: LGBTQIA, Science Fiction/FantasyMy name is Mawukana na-Vdnaze, and I am a very poor copy of myself.
Slow Gods is the galaxy-spanning tale of one man’s impossible life charted against the fate of humanity amongst the stars—a powerfully imaginative space opera from multi-award-winning author Claire North.
In telling my story, there are certain things I should perhaps lie about. I should make myself a hero. Pretend I was not used by strangers and gods, did not leave people behind.
Here is one out there in deep space, in the pilot’s chair, I died. And then, I was reborn. I became something not quite human, something that could speak to the infinite dark. And I vowed to become the scourge of the world that wronged me.
This is the story of the supernova event that burned planets and felled civilizations. This is also the story of the many lives I’ve lived since I died for the first time.
Are you listening?
Thanks to AppleTV’s version of Foundation I’ve been craving a big juicy sci-fi novel (that isn’t actually the Foundation series because it sucks). This book has been getting some really fantastic reviews and it looks like the sweeping kind of tale I’ve been looking for.
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Author: Linda Lael Miller
Released: October 7, 2025 by Canary Street Press
Genre: Historical: American, Western, RomanceFans of the hit TV show Yellowstone and its two prequel series will fall in love with this epic love story from #1 New York Times bestselling author Linda Lael Miller.
Lizbet Fontaine will do anything to keep her family together, even leave behind the only life she’s ever known to journey to the West. But as the jitney rumbles away, holding tightly to her little brother’s and sister’s hands, she knows something is wrong. Her stepfather has summoned an associate with a predatory glint in his eyes, and Lizbet knows she needs to save them all. She just doesn’t know how…until a kind man points out the Silver Hills Boarding House.
Gabe Whitfield is no saint. But he won’t let a woman be threatened. Getting involved with Lizbet and little Frankie and Jubal is the last thing on his mind, though. When his wife and their child died a few years ago, a piece of him died, too. So he’ll help this family find their way at Miss Ornetta’s boarding house. Anything more is out of the question.
But that one chance meeting changes Gabe forever. Lizbet’s fierce strength makes him feel the faintest whisper of hope. And Lizbet can’t deny being drawn to the honest, gentle man whose kindness moves her. Can she trust her heart to a man who can’t let go of the past?
When I was kid, we used to drive to Chicago for the holidays, and one of the benefits was that my aunt would send me home with a giant shopping bag of mass market paperback romances to read. I would listen to my Discman and crack open a new to me book on the long drive home, while my sister periodically embarrassed me and irritated my mother by stealing it and reading the sex scenes out loud. I got her back though. Years later I gave her kids a cotton candy machine for Christmas. There was cotton candy floating though the house, sticking to every surface.
Anyway, there was usually a Linda Lael Miller book in that stack because she was huge in the mid to late 90’s (remember her vampire series? OMG).
I haven’t read one of her books in a long time and this looks like the perfect way to indulge in that holiday nostalgia.
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Author: Robyn Gigl
Released: March 30, 2021 by Kensington Books
Genre: LGBTQIA, Mystery/Thriller
Series: Erin McCabe Mysteries #1In a fresh and riveting thriller debut, Robyn Gigl introduces Erin McCabe, a New Jersey criminal defense attorney doing her best to live a quiet life in the wake of profound personal change—until a newsworthy case puts both her career and safety in jeopardy . . .
Erin McCabe has been referred the biggest case of her career. Four months ago, William E. Townsend, Jr., son of a New Jersey State Senator, was found fatally stabbed in a rundown motel near Atlantic City. Sharise Barnes, a nineteen-year-old transgender prostitute, is in custody, and given the evidence, there seems little doubt of a guilty verdict.
As a trans woman herself, Erin knows that defending Sharise will blow her own private life wide open, and doubtless deepen her estrangement from her family. Yet she feels uniquely qualified to help Sharise, and duty-bound to protect her from the possibility of a death sentence. Because Sharise admits she killed the senator’s son—in self-defense.
As Erin works with her partner, former FBI agent Duane Swisher, circumstances hint at ties to other brutal murders. Senator Townsend is using the full force of his prestige and connections to publicly discredit everyone involved in defending Sharise. And behind the scenes, his tactics are even more dangerous. For his son had secrets that could destroy the senator’s political aspirations—secrets worth killing for . . .
I’ve gotten into the tradition/habit of binging a mystery series during that fuzzy period of time between Christmas and New Years. The first book in a series, By Way of Sorrow has a criminal defense attorney who is also a trans woman as its main character. I haven’t seen much trans representation in the mystery world and I’m hopeful that this book will be great since there’s three more currently available in the series after that.
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Author: Jennifer Weiner
Released: April 8, 2025 by William Morrow
Genre: Chick Lit, Literary FictionSisters Cassie and Zoe Grossberg were born just a year apart but could not have been more different. Zoe, blessed with charm and beauty, yearned for fame from the moment she could sing into a hairbrush. Cassie was a musical prodigy who never felt at home in her own skin and preferred the safety of the shadows.
On the brink of adulthood in the early 2000s, destiny intervened, catapulting the sisters into the spotlight as the pop sensation the Griffin Sisters, hitting all the touchstones of early aughts fame—SNL, MTV, Rolling Stone magazine—along the way.
But after a whirlwind year in the public eye, the band abruptly broke up.
Two decades later, Zoe’s a housewife; Cassie’s off the grid. The sisters aren’t speaking, and the real reason for the Griffin Sisters’ breakup is still a mystery. Zoe’s teenage daughter, Cherry, who’s determined to be a star in spite of Zoe’s warnings, is on a quest to learn the truth about what happened to the band all those years ago.
As secrets emerge, all three women must face the consequences of their choices: the ones they made and the ones the music industry made for them. Can they forgive each other—and themselves? And will the Griffin Sisters ever make music again?
This book is about a pop duo featuring sisters Zoe and Cassie Grossberg who became famous in the early 2000s and then mysteriously broke up. Now Zoe’s teenage daughter is trying to learn why her mom isn’t talking to her aunt and what led to them disappearing from the spotlight.
I was in high school from 1997-2001 so I think this one is going to hit me right in my girlhood pop-loving feels.
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Author: SenLinYu
Released: September 23, 2025 by Del Rey
Genre: Romance, Science Fiction/FantasyIn this riveting dark fantasy debut, a woman with missing memories fights to survive a war-torn world of necromancy and alchemy — and the man tasked with unearthing the deepest secrets of her past.
“What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours? The war is over. Holdfast is dead. The Eternal Flame extinguished. There’s no one left for you to save.”
Once a promising alchemist, Helena Marino is now a prisoner—of war and of her own mind. Her Resistance friends and allies have been brutally murdered, her abilities suppressed, and the world she knew destroyed.
In the aftermath of a long war, Paladia’s new ruling class of corrupt guild families and depraved necromancers, whose vile, undead creatures helped bring about their victory, holds Helena captive.
According to Resistance records, she was a healer of little importance within their ranks. But Helena has inexplicable memory loss of the months leading up to her capture, making her enemies wonder: Is she truly as insignificant as she appears, or are her lost memories hiding some vital piece of the Resistance’s final gambit?
To uncover the memories buried deep within her mind, Helena is sent to the High Reeve, one of the most powerful and ruthless necromancers in this new world. Trapped on his crumbling estate, Helena’s fight—to protect her lost history and to preserve the last remaining shreds of her former self—is just beginning. For her prison and captor have secrets of their own . . . secrets Helena must unearth, whatever the cost.
I never read the fanfic that Alchemised was born out of, but I know that it was inspired in part by Dramione and also The Handmaid’s Tale. I re-read The Handmaid’s Tale and followed up with The Testaments this year and I’m curious to see how that world would inspire a Romantasy since I personally didn’t find it very romantic reading.
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Author: V.L. Bovalino
Released: September 23, 2025 by Forever
Genre: Gothic, Romance, Science Fiction/FantasyLove. Loyalty. Sacrifice.
Grey Flynn has dedicated her life to her mage, Kier. She will be his blade on the battlefield, his healer and protector. The deep well of raw power inside her is Kier’s to wield. They are bound together by blood and magic, but there is one truth Grey dare not reveal . . . not even to Kier.
When a quest to protect the child of an enemy kingdom pulls them into a dangerous mission, Grey will need to decide what she’s willing to sacrifice to protect her secret.
For Grey is no ordinary magical well, and if she dies, all magic dies with her.
The Second Death of Locke is a devastatingly romantic epic fantasy about the undying bond between a knight and their mage, perfect for fans of Rachel Gillig and Alix E. Harrow.
I’ve actually started this book already and there is SO MUCH PINING you guys. It’s set in a vaguely medieval fantasy world where warrior mages draw power from a companion acting as a magical well. Grey Flynn has been acting as a well to a mage, Kier, during a long and bitter war. They’re always together and their bond is amplified through touch, which is a perfect set up for a forced proximity romance.
The yearning, you guys. Grey wants Kier, but he’s never made a move so she’s all like I’m sure he tenderly heals my wounds and massages my naked back for platonic reasons. So far it’s really got me hooked.
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My employer send out an email this week that basically told us layoffs are coming in January, so I’m trying to relax as much as possible over the holidays. I’m excited for the Alexis Hall coming out next week, and I’ve started a tradition two years ago where I reread the Captive Prince trilogy during the week between Christmas and New Years.
This time of year always feels loaded to me, for various and sundry reasons. The only thing I like is free time off from work due to the holidays, otherwise I’m just waiting for January to drop. I don’t even celebrate these holidays, but it’s… proximity stress, maybe?
I couldn’t sleep last night, so I finished an ARC of “Star Shipped”, Cat Sebastian’s new contemporary (out next May). Then, with “Heated Rivalry” burning up the library hold list, streaming TV, and the Big River Company’s bestselling ebook charts, I decided that it’s time for me to reread it.
I’ve been rewatching the 1995 BBC “Pride & Prejudice” (there is no other). Lighting a candle every evening that smells like something delicious. Also want to make gingerbread cookies, because I find it very hard to feel down when I have gingerbread.
@HeatherS how is Star Shipped? I’m so excited for that one
Dementia is so hard, we lost a parent each to it, well before they died so you have my utmost sympathy Elyse.
I loved Th Griffin Sisters, but trigger warning for some of those secrets.
@Elyse: I haven’t made up my mind about it yet. I think Simon is a bit of a neurotic mess and I’m also a mess and maybe it’s just too much mess in my brain at one time, BUT I was also nodding along at a bunch of lines in the later part of the book and wanting to highlight them because they were just ringing so darn true and recognizable to me. I’ll be interested to read someone’s review here when the book comes out, because y’all really have a better way with words than I do and I’m trying to express my thoughts but don’t want to spoil anything. LOL
Sending sympathetic thoughts to all who are facing challenges. I hope that some good stories will help you through each day.
Sending all the love & support to your family. I wish I had more I could say. That’s so hard and I hope you feel supported when you need it most.
The Holiday Gauntlet is a very apt name. I’m limiting my usual over-commitment to baking, cooking, and gift-buying this year and in doing so hopefully limiting the aftershock of being utterly drained and feeling unappreciated. Coworkers and I were commiserating about the exceptional suckitude of 2025 and we’ve empirically proven it was The Actual Worst(TM). Earlier I tried to mix up some nice herbs & spices to make a fancy cup of tea, realized I’d used the mug to melt garlic butter earlier, and just had to sit down for a while, utterly tea-less. For reference, garlic does NOT go well with orange zest, rose petals, and candied ginger, at least in beverage form.
Like everyone here my TBR is towering and immense, but I’m picking only things that reasonably speak to my mental state right now. I want only female rage and using it to build a better world, and that’s what I’m going to stick to.
I’m trying to give myself permission to say “yes” and “no” when I feel like it. Yes, I can go for a daytrip somewhere pleasant. No, I don’t have to be on-call for my relatives. No, I don’t have to eat everything at the holiday meal no matter how much I dislike it; yes, I can have another cookie without feeling guilty about it. It’s not easy to break out of the people-pleaser mold but I’m working on it.
Anyway I’ve got a few ebooks I’m just starting to get into, some cinnamon-brown sugar coffee beside my laptop, and my cat curled up next to me, so when the whole world is doomspiraling I can at least focus on a few good things to stay grounded.
Good luck out there, Bitches.
Only knew about the Weiner from this list; some nice picks!
I’m having MAJOR GAUNTLET, sigh. My brother is always the Christmas Enforcer during the best of times (with ideas on mandatory event attendance and The Way Things Should Be Done), and now he’s giving me grief about my caregiving while our mom’s having health issues. I’m much younger, so he has trouble seeing me as an equal anyway, but the fact that I’m new at it (and not confident/happy in the role) makes his gaslighting of both of us even more infuriating. A bunch of crazy things have happened that would be sucky in normal times, and, well…I play into his hands by breaking down every time he talks to me more than five minutes now, because his timing blows and I’m exhausted. (Our dad’s dead and we all miss him, which doesn’t help.) I bought myself The Essential Peanuts as an early gift, and it’s GORGEOUS, with a stash of collectibles (stickers! postcards! replica NASA patch!) that is incredible. The Art of Manga was my favorite exhibition this year, and my library got the catalog…it’s nice to have translations because the museum kept the original text…
Really sorry about your parents, Elyse. I’m another who knows what that’s like (and how tiring it is).
The Jim Hines book appealed to me – I enjoyed his first Janitors book, though not enough to read the others – but it looks like it’s not out as an etext in the UK, and the paper version is £22. Will try to keep an eye on it.
cat_blue: I want only female rage and using it to build a better world
Yes – Rec League maybe?