Welcome back to Cover Snark!
Sarah: Pam G has sent us two!
PamG: Oh baby, looks like a mystery skin condition in an Elvis wig to me. All I can see is grandma’s animal print spandex. Also, those eyes! We used to get that a lot when photographing the doggos. And, and WHY are their nether regions fading into an alien cityscape.
Elyse: Sir, you’re gonna need an ointment for that.
Sarah: So the guy with the Geordie eye headband in the X Men movie has some dermatologic challenges ahead? We’ve had alien nanny, alien daycare…is this Alien Dermatologist?
Amanda: There’s another cover edition and it’s just the dude. His spots were squares and diamonds.
PamG: when I searched for the cover image, I got a bonus. And lizard boy is not romantic. No no, Lizard Boy, her head does not unscrew
Sarah: I honestly thought the blue Goyard print one was hugging a rock. Cradling a meteor. Snuggling some geology. ALL OF THAT makes more sense than whatever is happening here.
Elyse: This Tik Tok chiropractor videos are going to too far.
From MegCat: Somebody needs to tell him that urine is not a good way to put out a fire.
Sarah: Another crotchfire or the same crotchfire?
Amanda: He is most certainly naked.
Sarah: He looks like he smelled something very, very bad. I suspect a surprise when the fire is out- if he has enough dragon pee to extinguish it.
From Kim: What is that weird bulge on the side of his stomach? Maybe positioning, but I can’t look away from it. And why does it look almost like it has a beak? Maybe it’s just my phone.
Sarah: I think this person, who might be a queen or might be a monster, or both – why limit yourself? – should have that looked at right now. Like, put the sword down and go to urgent care.
Amanda: Is that a brooch shooting out of his butt? A butt brooch?
Sarah: Who toots the brooch?
This is the first time I’ve been confused by the author’s name. Is “Starr Huntress” the first author of two or author Kate Rudolph’s formal title?
@Kate Rose: I believe it’s the series name.
@Kate Rose
It looks like it may be a collective name shared by multiple authors. The books credited to Starr Huntress generally are listed both under Starr Huntress and an individual author. It looks like various authors are basically using “Starr Huntress” as kind of a brand name.
That makes more sense! I think it needs a font change or some different spacing.
Does Queens & Monsters guy know he’s wearing a crimson wedding cake? Also, I think the “brooch” is actually a key so you can wind our little verdigris robot up.
I believe Mr Ruthless’ condition is leopardsy.
And Mr Dragon’s torso is entirely too short. Unless he’s hunched over trying to squeeze out enough to put out that fire.
What a group of unattractive covers.
Leopard man, lizard man, naked man, and appendix about-to-burst man. Quite the variety.
At least the Dragon’s Mate cover has a little variety: He’s staring at his nip, not his package. If that’s the only thing distinctive about a cover, they’re doing it wrong.
@E C Spurlock, “leopardsy” gave me a good chuckle!
1. Mr. RUTHLESS is a sexy banana for Halloween.
2. A RUTHLESS BARGAIN: “Our Earth scans indicate your people derive sensual enjoyment from ‘neck massage’.”
3. DRAGON’S VIRGIN MATE: “The good news is, your burning sensation isn’t caused by an infection…”
4. Not enough body horror in your romance? QUEENS AND MONSTERS is the book for you! (Also: nice “hilt”-gripping!)
@EC—I was also confused by the too-short torso.
The words on the first one reminded me of those courses that purport to teach English—yes, those are words. They do not really mean anything when you assemble them like that…