Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Susan.
Sarah: The Cut and Paste is not optimal here.
Kiki: I’m sorry, how did we get to 5? One night stand, I assume she gets pregnant with twins…where is the fifth member??
Lara: Crucifix dude on her shoulder whispering naughty suggestions could be number 5? A party to the decision-making.
Sarah: Wait. How do her arms work? She’s got two toddlers and an artist’s palette in one arm…how?
From Malaraa.
Tara: I’m sorry, WHAT?! This cover is a fever dream, especially when you include the title and series name.
Elyse: Sirens!
Bunnies!
Man Love!
White Horses!
Crack!
Sarah: A number of these people have me worried about jaundice.
Poor dude on the right looks like he is questioning every choice he made that led to this cover.
Sarah: For what I am about to inflict upon you, I apologize.
From Jane B: Baby load? Is that a way babies are ever described?
Sarah: First, are they talking about ejaculate, and the result of said emission is…the baby? Or is the baby really, really heavy?
I don’t even have a second point. I’m stuck on the first one.
Carrie: My mind went straight to poop like a loaded diaper.
Elyse: I second the poopy diaper.
Sarah: Wouldn’t that be baby’s load?
Tara: Oh goddammit. I’m leaving the baby load thing alone because :nauseated_face:
I want to know who’s giving babies to broken dads. Also, the illustrated ears and tail on the baby is sending me.
Sarah: Wait.
Wait.
Is it Demon Boss’ Baby Load
Or it is Demon Baby Boss’s Load?
Is the baby the demon? An “illustrated version of the Mario Tanuki suit in silver” kind of demon?
Elyse: What if the baby is the boss?
Tara: Demon boss baby! Demon boss baby!
Elyse: I just saw the tagline “babies for broken dads” and I’m …just wow,
Like give the guy a little credit. He got the baby, possibly with a nuclear diaper, into his Mario Tanuki suit, ok?
Sarah: Ooof, I definitely had some late nights with demon boss babies. There was the heartburn demon, the Coxsackie demon, the teething demon…. I don’t know if I had Tanuki suit demons though.
Sarah: Y’all. I glanced at this and thought he had a potato for a head.
Claudia: Can’t unsee now. 100% a potato.
Sarah: Tater Shifter Love
Sequel: Tots for Taters
Other Sequel: Demon Baby’s Boss Potato.
Okay, apparently the guy holding the baby is one of those Swiss army knife heroes. He’s a demon, and he’s also a CEO, and also he’s a firefighter, and also a foster father, and an animal shelter volunteer too. Busy guy.
@Mikey, I had not heard the phrase “Swiss army knife hero” before, but I love it and I’m adding it to my bingo card.
On the bunny baby cover the guy in front is a mannequin. Model got to the photoshoot, predicted it was going to be a mess and left a mannequin decoy as he snuck out. Joke is on him, they never noticed.
I am never going to be over that Demon Boss’ Baby Load cover. AWFUL.
The “load” part. Every time I read it makes me shudder.
I thought the last one was a mushroom at first glance, something like a goomba from Mario.
I second the mushroom on Dust Storm. Also, those folks need to step away from the barbed wire before someone gets hurt. The barbed wire is making me squicky nervous. “He pressed her up against the … oh no.”
I feel like these covers are a lesson in modeling, “why you don’t allow your photos to be sold to stock services.”
1 + 2 = 5: Times like this, I wonder if cover artists think a stethoscope is a body part, which remains attached even when you take your shirt off. And, er, none of those brushes has paint on it. How did mama get so besmeared?
Gotta concede, though, that the kids are very cute, and look as if they have individual personalities.
A Bunny’s Baby Daddies: Woot! It’s the coveted Four Fonts award!
But even if you allow “Love Xtreme Forever” to be the imprint (how much willpower it must have taken to avoid saying “4ever”), that leaves TWO series titles: “The ManLove Collection” and “White Horse Clan”. Are we talking M/M/shifter romance.
. . . Wait, white horse? Pretty sure that’s a rabbit. And how did Vlodomir Zelenskyy get roped into the photo shoot?
Demon Load Boss Baby: Well, that’s one way to describe a filled diaper. Don’t quite see how this will fix a broken dad, though. And I flatly refuse to look up what other titles go in the series.
Dust Storm: Dang. We need a subcategory for “there but for a single ludicrous flaw goes a perfect Cover Awe”. I think there was one last month too.
Incidentally, I’ve never understood the “A Novel” subtitle. Is the publisher afraid bookstores will put it in the Meteorology section?
1+2=5 she is using both arms to hold that armful, but does she paint in the nude? How has she got paint so far down her front if she paints clothed? Or is some of it meant to be blood? And how did she manage to get such clean colours on her right breast? Come to that how are her paint brushes so clean?
Bunny’s Baby Daddy on the right in the second row is clearly an oncologist and has just noticed a concerning lesion on front Baby Daddy’s back which is why he looks so serious.
Tara the illustrated tail and ears seem to be confusing the baby too, who can blame the poor child? Not touching the whole ‘load’ part with a barge pole.
I agree it’s fungi on Dust Storm, some sort of earth ball or an very rotten mushroom. Jane is correct the couple need to move away from the barbed wire, nasty stuff.
This is the entertainment I need on a Monday!
1+2=5: someone who walks around bare-chested with a stethoscope around his sweaty neck would be extremely unpopular in the medical world. Back in the day, many of my classmates wore their stethoscopes around the neck because the pockets on those little white coats weren’t big enough for everything that had to be schlepped around all day and often all night, too. but bare-chested? the nurses would have curtailed that immediately!!
and btw, the medical students who wore those white coats on dates were ridiculed strenuously as being a little bit too full of themselves! (Only the males did that, in case you were wondering).
@LisaF: Actually, that one isn’t so bad, if it wasn’t for the title that makes no sense, and the cartoon costume on the baby. Just some casual pix of a happy guy holding his baby.
On 1+2=5 I’m pretty sure that the dude with the cross and Dr Nips are the same guy.
I had to look it up. It’s Demon Boss’s Baby Load.
It would make the same amount of sense if Demon Boss’s Baby Load was a typo on the last letter that nobody proofread: Demon Boss’s Baby Loaf (same part of the keyboard) also seems more Halloween-ready. And it probably has just as much relevance to the actual book.
Dust Storm is a mushroom man.!
The potato / mushroom head is distracting everyone from the fact that her neck is freakishly long.
On the first cover, you’d think a doctor would recognize the signs of extreme dehydration in himself.
Baby’s expression on Demon Boss’s Baby Load (I just HAVE to correct the punctuation there) seems to indicate that there will be a load in the diaper in the very near future.
If you want heaps of Cover Snark option, Siren Publishing is the way to go. They are all like the bunny one, particularly the FMM+ an MMM+ ones. Some of them have so many Ms I don’t want to bother typing them.