Romantic Times Rewind: July 2004 Reviews

by SB Sarah · Dec 1, 2023 at 1:59 am · View all 6 comments

Smart Podcast Trashy Books Romantic Times RewindIn this week’s podcast episode, we’re looking at the book reviews for the July 2004 issue of Romantic Times, aka RT Book Reviews.

Special and massive thanks to Kay Sisk for sending me this issue!

Ready for an absolute mile and a half of cover art from nearly 20 years ago? Oh, this is a weird memory lane, y’all. Brace yourself, hold on to your butt and maybe also grab hold of someone else’s to get ready.

You can also find all the RTRW content at our category page for Romantic Times Rewind. 

And, most importantly, if you want to listen and follow along with this entry, we have more detail in the audio, but you can click play and listen and read and absorb all the visual goodness:

Ok, let’s get started with…THE COVER. We’re going to have a lot more to say about it in the second episode, where we look through the ads and features in this issue, but this is so freaking glorious I might post it every single day.

No one should miss this, right?

Oh my gosh. This is going to be something. Ok. so at the top against a green patterned background is the masthead in yellow which reads Romantic Times BOOK club. above in a peach banner with green lettering it reads the magazine for women who love books. then there is, I kid you not, a woman in an iridescent taffeta dress in shades of peach and yellow with wide dark embroidered trim at the neck around the edges of her cape, and at the waist. She's also wearing a pearl I think medallion on her forehead over her dark hair and bangs. Then there is I absolutely am NOT joking, a unicorn. with sparkles in his eyes. The headlines are Medallion Press debuts teen fiction for all ages! mystery road trip to armchair travel with America's favorite sleuths, and over 250 new books reviewed in every issue. WOW.

Wow, huh? Just…wow.

The Ads & Features episode will have some discussion, never fear. There’s much to talk about. And see on the back of your eyelids when you close your eyes from looking at it too long. Ask me how I know.

Historical

I was extremely curious about this book after reading this review for Portrait of Lydia by Hollie Van Horne. 

Portrait of Lydia Time Travelers publiching Setting: 2000 New York and 200 AD rome, 4.5 stars The author of The Diary ofJohn- Jacques Coupier pens another engrossing time-travel centered around the struggle for fame, fortune and power. After Grant Trell is informed that one of his ancestors was Septimius Severus, warrior-emperor of the Roman Empire, he decides he must take a vacation- ot Rome, 20 AD.. And thanks ot theInternet and modern technology, he is able to do just that. Grant wants to experience the power of deciding the fate of millions and al the glory of the Roman Empire. But upon his arrival, ti seems al the power Grant seeks si heldby abeautiful woman named Lvdia of the house of Marcus Flavioles Antonious of Rome. She also holds Grant's fate ni her pretty hands. Realistic characters fil the pages of this creatively penned, in-depth time-* * travel. Lvdia and Grant's stor is a wel- written romance that's fresh and unique, with fantastic historical highlights. Van Horne pens another terrific novel readers won't want to miss. SENSUAL Jul 317 pgs $16.50

The rest of the review already quoted in the above image ALT text

 

Clearly there’s no need to ask what Grant’s Roman Empire is. And I also think it’s so interesting to go find the book covers, if I can do so, after reading the reviews which, again, are mostly text with very few images.

Portrait of Lydia by Hollie Van Horne in block letters in yellow and purple against a gradient background that fades from purple at the top to yellow at the bottom. in the middle is a stone statue of a woman in a drapey dress pouring water from an urn with a lot of outer glow turned on. She isn't very well focused either so it's a bit fuzzy in resolution.

That statue has such a defeated look on her face. Maybe she met Grant?

Amanda’s pick from the historical section was The Perfect Temptation by Leslie Lafoy, which was a 4.5 star Top Pick, aka a 4.5 star TP.

The perfect temptation by leslie lafoy in white swirly letters against a lavendar background with a slice of an image of a White woman with half-up wavy dark hair and a white satin corset and pearls but it's only the side of her face and back is visible -- like one ear and that's it.

I remember so many covers like this one, don’t you?

I cut this from the audio, but here’s an extra treat: Fulk the Reluctant by Elaine Knighton.

FULK THE RELUCTANT by Elaine Knighton has an image of a very mullety shirtless man that might be John DeSalvo embracing a blonde woman in medieval garb against a castle backdrop with a purple sky he does not look reluctant.Oh yeaaaaaah. That’s a mullet right there. 

 

Regency

This issue has several genre sections that are different from the 2014 issues we’ve looked at, including a full page of Regency ratings. As I mention in the episode, I’m pretty sure Regency in this case signifies the format: 225-275 pages, smaller trim size, etc. All the books are from Zebra and Signet, which strengthens my suspicion that this is a trim/format designation as well as time period.

We didn’t see any books that we were super curious about, but the reviews are one long narrative with very little in the way of critique and a lot of plot summary. Here’s a sample:

TOP PICK - Signet: Judith Calard has lived a life of regret. She could have chosen Lord Daniel Penventon, but was swept away by another. Presently, Daniel is involved in an international intrigue and Judith is in Portugal with her twin brother, Jamie, who is also involved in embassy affairs. Judith shares a clairvoyant relationship with her twin, and this ability has her worried that Daniel may be trying to bring Jamie harm. Sandra Heath employs elegant writing and an exciting plot in a story where a second chance at love clashes with passion, danger and jealousy. Written with a supernatural edge, Winter Dreams (41⁄2) is a true winner. Jul 288pp, $5.99

Meanwhile, Winter Dreams by Sandra Heath has a very low average Amazon (2.5).

Erotica

WE HAVE A ONE STAR REVIEW FOLKS.

Gates of Hell by Ann Jacobs, now called After the Apocalypse, received 1 star – which we haven’t seen before, and seems to be a rare event!

Here’s the review:

Aurora is a breeder for the Federation's decimated population on Earth. And the news she receives will change her forever. In two weeks, she is to become a mindless sexless drone. Never having had sex with a human male before, Aurora makes the most of her last opportunity and takes a trip to the Gates of Hell, a resort located on the planet Obsidian, that caters exclusively to its guests' desires. Aurora meets Brad, her master. a virile human who not only dominates her pleasures but shares with her a secret that could help her escape the Federation's ultimate decision concerning her future.

While the author offers the requisite hot sex, Gales of Hell sufters a severe lack of character development. Aurora and Brad are devoid of personality and as a result. there's a lack of emotional tension and love. Combined with a story that doesn't feel finished. Jacobs' interesting premise is not explored to its full potential. (dI $4.95)

 

After the Apocalypse by Ann Jacobs is written in grey all caps with bevel and emboss turned on and turned all the way up, with a silver android looking human with green blue loops over his ears looking to the right, and some kind of orange peach nebula in the background

Do you think if you press the button between his shapely shiny pecs, he shuts down like my Roomba, Beavis?

Amanda recommends, if you’re looking for hot sexy science fiction, the Lauren Dane Federation Chronicles, starting with Undercover.

Amanda noticed a heck of a typo in this review for Bertrice Small’s Private Pleasures – and this book has a full page ad in the back, too!

Erotica (Fantasy PRIVATE PLEASURES Beatrice Smal NAL Nora Buckley's perfect world shatters when her husband dumps her for a vounger woman. Even more devastating is his vindictive plot to leave her penniless and home-less. Fortunately, Nora has a strong support group. Sensing Nora's need for something more, her four friends share a naughty secret called the Channel. Literally sucking viewers into the TV this sex channel allows Nora to experience her wildest fantasies. Nora enters the Channel and encounters Kyle, an erotic dream come true. He indulges her most decadent desires and awakens untapped hungers. For the first time in her life, Nora knows true sexual freedom and craves her nightlv adventures. As she indulges, Nora comes to the startling realization that having it all is possible_ if vou're willing to pay the price. Small's first contemporary erotic venture is an intimate journew into one woman's risqué fantasies. Nora's transformation from downtrodden wite to siren is immenselv sat-isfying, although it occurs at light-speed. This sensual page-turner seduces with explicit monogamous and multiple-partner encounters--and with a non-traditional happily ever after. Jul., 272 pp., $14.00)

Beatrice? Could this have been a spellcheck error?

Private Pleasures in white above an EKG line with Mistress of Erotic Romance Bertrice Small at the botton in white, all against a close up of a White woman's face wearing red lipstick and holding a rose up to her lower lips

Somewhere in the great beyond, Bertrice Small is probably still annoyed about this.

Mystery

My pick in the Mystery section was A Distinction of Blood by Hannah March, which received 4 stars.

Across the top are three images, all of which are very pixelated so I can't tell what they are. One looks like a bowl full of wine bottles? And maybe a jacket on a red chair? Honestly the resolution is terrible so I can't tell. The middle is the authors name Hannah March in white letters on dark green, and the title is against a lighter green background with another pixelated image of a ball and chain, and the title A Distinction of Blood is written in aa script font that is also very badly pixelated

Please note, the pixelation wasn’t me – I thought I’d messed up the download, but no, the cover looks like that.

But Amanda’s pick, Pipsqueak by Brian M. Wiprud, is truly incredible in every respect.

First, the review:

Amateur Sleuth (Humorous) PIPSQUEAK Brian M. Wiprud Dell **** TOP PICK Crime and taxidermy colide in this zany, zestfully told tale. Sublime comic storsteller Wiprud sets his mister in a fictional New York City "retro" subculture, full of zoot-suited hipsters, swing-loving horn players and other eccentric city dwellers. Taxidermy buff Garth Carson gets pulled into the retro underground scene while hunting down a stuffed puppet, Pipsqueak the Nutty Nut. Garth wants Pipsqueak because he's a childhood touchstone. Others want him for far more nefarious reasons. Soon, the murder victims are piling up. When Garth's estranged brother is beaten bloody, the squabbling siblings tea up. Then the joint really starts jumping. Quirky characters, slapstick situations and clever writing full of sharp visual images make this novel a thrill a minute. Garth is offheat, earnest and romantic. Plus he's got a knack for solving puzzles, particularly the one at the center of this well-drawn, tightly executed story (Jun., 340 pp., $6.99)

CRIME and TAXIDERMY. Zany AND Zesty! Slapstick, and quirky folks!

So with a review like this one (and this is the type of review where we note that the reviewer is clearly having a very good time!) what could the cover look like but this:

Pipsqueak by Brian Wiprud - a squirrel wearing pink sunglasses against a green background with very 1940s or 1950s stars and the title in orange and teal boxes. the author's name is in a rounded old style television

But here’s my favorite part: I got this notification on my phone a day after we recorded:

An alert on my phone from the Kindle app that reads Still thinking about this book? Pipsqueak by Brian M. Wiprud

Look, we JUST went over this. It’s allegedly got crime, taxidermy, zany and zestfully told tales, with quirky characters. Of course I’m still thinking about this book.

I mean, look at that COVER!

Mainstream Fiction and YA – one section! 

Amanda picked a really really wild book, Sleeping with Schubert by Bonnie Marson.

For this one, I’m going to share the cover first:

Sleeping with Schubert by Bonnie Marson the lower third is a piano and the top third is a blurry image of a White woman in a very short black dress with thin straps and her hair which is very big and wavy cascading down her back.

Looks like a women’s fiction or maybe historical or time slip fiction?

But then, there’s the review:

Paranormal Romance SLEEPING WITH SCHUBERT Bonnie Marson Random House **** Imagine getting up one day to find yourself drawn to something that never held much interest before say, a piano. Then imagine yourself sitting down at a piano and playing a classical repertoire. Incredible, right? But in the case of Liza Durbin, an average New York attorney, the incredible happens: the

spirit of composer Franz Schubert takes residence in her body. Franz is moved by the sights and sounds of modern Manhattan, and new symphonies begin pouring out through Liza in the composer's own hand. Liza shares her bizarre co-habitation with her closest friend, family and thera pist, and while they're skeptical at first, the minute she sits down at a piano they accept the outrageous truth. Mentored by a Juilliard professor and marketed by her sister, Liza becomes a sensation. She tours and sells CDs. all the while trying to work out her relationships with a lover who's gone to Europe and the dead composer living in her heart and soul. It isn't easy staying in control when the inner composer is working, nor when a tiny voice savs that Franz mar be onlv a temporary visitor. Marson's debut novel is beautifully written in the first person. She's nailed the feelings and motivations of not only Liza and Franz but crafted compelling secondary characters too. And along the way, she's created a wonderful take on why some otherwise ordinary humans become gifted geniuses. (Jul., 336 pp., $21.95)

If Franz Schubert takes residence inside her body, I guess she is effectively sleeping with him?

There is a two star review in the summary page for a book called Going Topless by Megan McAndrew, and there’s an ad for the book from the publisher, but the review isn’t in the magazine – we both double checked! Very weird.

Series

Another! One! Star! And we have NO idea why Lawful Engagement by Linda O. Johnson is getting one star!

An investigative reporter for the Mustang Gazelle, Cara Hamilton finds Nancy Wilks dead and believes the woman's emplovers, the scandalized Lambert & Church law firm, might be behind it. Lambert killed himself in jail after his alleged murder of a local rancher was exposed. Deputy sheriff Mitchell Steele, having connected several deaths to the firm, suspects Cara knows more than she is telling and questions her real connection to the murder victim, whom she claims was a close friend. Both are intent on discovering the motives behind the deaths, but neither anticipates finding love. Lawful Engagement (1) is very slow to unfold and severely bogged down by Linda O. Johnston's frequent and unnecessary repetition of plot points.

Especially when other reviews that have a higher number of stars are much more critical of the books!

Lawful Engagement by Linda O Johnston with a purple-washed image of two intense looking White people glaring off to the right side, with Harlequin Intrigue at the top third in purple

Amanda noticed the review for The Pregnant Tycoon, by Caroline Anderson.

Sydney business developer Isabel Brooke has it all except for a baby. While attending a get-together with mutual friends she rediscovers teenage love, and now single father, Will Thompson. Following a night of passion, Izzy becomes pregnant and soon she's reassessing her Gucci lifestyle. Could she handle life as a sheep farmer's wife? The seemingly unlikely pair must ultimately decide if their relationship was doomed or destined from the beginning. Caroline Anderson's The Pregnant Tycoon (3) is nicely grounded in an entertaining idea--businesswoman meets Mr. Mom. But readers mav be somewhat annoved by characters who seem to lack common sense.

Reassessing her Gucci lifestyle?! Oh, no.

The Pregnant Tycoon by Caroline Anderson with the harlequin romance banner at the top in green against ivory and below an image of a White man in a shirt and slacks standing behind a very pregnant White woman with curly hair holding her belly below a drapey black shirt

Amanda also noticed this review for What Phoebe Wants by Cindi Myers, from the section for the now-defunct line Harlequin Flipside, and wow, WOW this is a LOT.

The untimelv demise of her elderl car starts Phoebe Frame's bad dav Groped on the elevator, sexually harassed by a doctor at work and informed at lunch that her ex-husband's bimbo girlfriend is preg. nant, she's ready to snap and unfortu-nately, Jeff Fischer, who's installing the new transcription system in her office, is there when she does. Not the best way to begin a relationship, but it works- and Phoebe appreciates having Jeff around while she's fixing her life. Cindi Myers provides a mature perspective in What Phoebe Wants (4), somehow balancing outrageous situations with real heart.

But the cover, it is also a lot in a completely different way.

Harlequin Flipside is at the top with a banner that reads falling in love one laugh at a time, with a very angular illustration of a White dude smirking in a blue convertible from the passenger seat, and a very angular woman with red hair and a red dress sitting on the hood though her legs are SO LONG she's a giant compared to the car perspective-wise. Also her head IS A SQUARE. THe title reads What Phoebe Wants in red curly font

Her head is square, poor thing!!

Sci Fi and Fantasy

A lot of yikes for all available bikes.

I picked the anthology To Weave a Web of Magic, edited by Claire Delacroix, featuring stories by Patricia McKillip, Lynn Kurland, Claire Delacroix, and Sharon Shinn.

A medieval or earlier painting of a fiar hiared woman with ravy hair billowing above her wearing a red off the shoulder gown with a low waist and gold trim around the image against a gold background are the authors names Claire Delacroix, Lynn Kurland, Patricia McKillip, and Sharon Shinn and at the bottom in a faux medieval scrolly font in white it says To Weave a Web of Magic

That is a powerhouse anthology, isn’t it?

Amanda noticed Lord of the Shadows by Jennifer Fallon.

Epic Fantasy LORD OF THE SHADOWS Jennifer Fallon Bantam Spectra Dirk Provin mav be the true heir to the throne of Dhewn. but he has betrayed his people to ally himself with the ruling Lion of Senet and the High Priestess of the Shadowdancers. Or so it seems. Dirk is working to bring down the usurpers and the false relicion. Unaware of Dirk's plot-ting, the crippled Prince Misha of Senet breaks with his family and finds sanctuary among the Baenlanders, who offer him another path to freedom. Dirk's mother, Alenor, Queen of Dheryn, believes her son a traitor and schemes to avenge her people. The final installment in the Second Sons trilogy ties together the tangled threads of years of spying and plotting. With her customary flair, Fallon delicates motivation and consequence, bringing home the price of freedom. Dirk can see no other path than the one he's set for himself, and readers feel his pain at deceiving those he loves. Fantasy readers have welcomed Fallon's fresh voice and will not be disappointed;

she remains true to her passionate characters as she brings this epic to a stirring conclusion. (Jun., 592 pp., $6.99)

LORD of the SHADOWS is written in BIG GOLD letters with lots of filigree and decoration and behind them a hilt of a sword with red gems and lacquer. below a sharp metal fence image is the authors name Jennifer Fallon

Dirk and the Beanlanders would be a great name for a cover band.

Contemporary

This section included contemporary, and romantic suspense, and some paranormal titles that were grouped under the subhead, “New Reality.”

My pick was One Year Past Perfect  by Kay Layton SiskOne Year Past Perfect, also the person who hooked us up with this incredible issue. She had saved all the issues of RT that she was in – which is very cool.

Romantic Suspense ONE YEAR PAST PERFECT Kay Layton Sisk www.wings-press.com Kathrvn Thompson is visiting Hawaii to settle her deceased great-aunt's estate and to retrieve an elusive diary that'srumored to contain shocking family secrets. She's hoping this vacation will provide the peace and tranquility she needs to recover from a bad marriage. When she arrives at her beach house she finds three unexpected guests. Instead of revealing her identity, she decides to pose as the news hired housekeeper. International singer Cesar Osorio is renting the beach house along with his brother-in-law and manager. The experience is filled with chaos since the two insist on firing all the housekeepers. The latest applicant arrives at their door acting like she owns the place. Her in-charge, self-sufficient attitude is one he admires. He finds himself experiencing feelings he hasn't felt since his wife's death three vears ago. This is a classic example of a modern-day "Goldilocks." Its fairs-tale appeal provides an enjoyable story, with a twist of mystery The secondary characters add depth to a fine novel, and the sexual tension balances out a well-written romance.

A beach with foamy ocean forming a wavy line at the top, alogside a starfish and the edge of an old book with a handwritten letter sticking out the side, and on the right side part of an image of some ballroom dancers' feet with the woman in gold strappy sandal heels

I love old family secret books and elusive diaries.

Amanda wanted to talk about Blooming All Over by Judith Arnold. I swear I’ve seen this pattern on many aprons, potholders, and kitchen towels.

A white backdrop covered with, like, clip art kitchen icons drawn with thick black lines and colored in dark vibrant tones. so there's a cheese and a yellow pepper a cutting board nad a carrot - it looks like 90s clipart. On top in peach boxes and red letters is the author's name Judith Arnold and the title Blooming All Over

But from the review, the heroine sounds kind of awful!

A proposal from bagel maker Casey Gordon would probably thrill almost any other woman in New York but not Susie Bloom. She wants to maintain the status quo, but it's clearly impossible once she refuses him. Getting out of the citv, even as the star of her flaky cousin's documentary/infomercial, is preferable to dealing with Casey every day. To say nothing of living with the Bloom family as they wrangle over her sister's wedding plans and other assorted crises. Learning that Casev is moving on-and seeing someone else-should be a relief, but it's not. Susie's got a big life choice ahead--if she can face up to it. Arnold continues the saga of the Bloom family (and its deli) with joy and verve. One can only hope that there will be many more books about these won-derful, rich characters and their fun world.

And alas, there weren’t any Inspirationals that really caught our attention. July 2004 was very much a time without boiler-obsessed scientists and nutritionists. Woe is us!

And that’s the last of the books we discussed as we read all the reviews in this issue.

Our next episode will examine the advertisements and features in this issue, and that’ll air on December 15.

And remember, if you join the Patreon, you’ll get access to the entire issue as a PDF. ALL THE UNICORN COVER PDF YOU CAN HANDLE.

What do you think? Have you read any of these? Which would you recommend? And do you remember when the cartoon heads were all square?! 

 

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Romantic Times Rewind

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Comments are Closed

  1. Kay Sisk says:
    December 1, 2023 at 4:40 pm

    I’m so glad that 1) you’re enjoying my stash of RTs and that 2) I saved them and 3) could find them! Happy reading!

  2. Ms. M says:
    December 1, 2023 at 11:48 pm

    It’s great to have some of the older issues to cover. Thanks, Kay!

  3. HeatherS says:
    December 2, 2023 at 11:31 am

    So much bad cover art! And that magazine cover! When did the title of the magazine change from “Romantic Times Book Club” to “RT Book Reviews”?

  4. Michael I says:
    December 2, 2023 at 2:56 pm

    Fun note on “Baenlanders” (in Lord of Shadow). Baen Books was then (and is now) a prominent SF/Fantasy imprint.

  5. Empress of Blandings says:
    December 5, 2023 at 1:39 pm

    1. Ahhh, those first covers remind me of my first experiments with Photoshop. Drop shadow! Outer glow! All the filters!

    2. At first glance, I did not read the title of ‘Fulk the Reluctant’ as it was meant to have been read.

  6. @SB Sarah says:
    December 6, 2023 at 3:47 pm

    @Kay: The archive at Bowling Green doesn’t have some of these, so once I am done, I’m going to send them on to the library with your attribution as archivist until now.

    @HeatherS: I have no idea when the masthead changed. This magazine had so many names!!

    @Empress: MORE DROP SHADOW. MORE OUTER GLOW. ADD SOME BEVEL AND ALSO EMBOSS. Perfect.

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