Cover Snark: Tricky Fonts Strike Again!

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Flawless by Elsie Silver. A brunette couple are attempting to kiss in front of a barn. However, it looks more like they're just  smushing their cheeks together and dragging their mouths across one another's.

Elyse: What are these people doing?

Tara: I think he’s about to roll his mouth across hers.

Carrie: This is why you have to practice on pillows, you guys.

Sarah: If it weren’t for their hands I would swear they were photographed in two separate locations very far apart.

A Turn in the Air by A.H. Cunningham. An illustrated cover, but the illustration is cute. Everything is in shades of purple. There's a curvy Black woman with a puffy Afro hair style. She's blushing slightly and wearing a leotard. Behind her is a shirtless Black man with braids and a closely shaved beard and mustache. Both are wearing shiny earrings. However, the script text of the title is where the confusion comes from.

Sarah: I love love love the illustration, the poses of the character is and the SMOLDER on that face, MY GOSH.

But what in the name of Holy Scriptina is the title?

Twin in the aith?

A truth in the aig?

Is this like a test to reveal hidden depths of my psychology?

The words I decipher will chart the course of the rest of the year! The hot dancers have foretold. But what does it SAYYYYY?

Lara: I saw ‘tum’ in there somewhere…she looks adorable but his stare is a little…intense.

Sarah: Heckin’ smolder going on there.

Tum in the ash?

Claudia: When I finally could decipher I thought they meant on an airplane.

Sneezy: Does this illustrator do webtoons? I would read the SHIT out of webtoons they made!

I thiiiiink it might be A Turn in the Air.

A Tihn in the Aig???

The more I look at the title the less sure I am.

Love in a Sandstorm by Zoe York. The top half of the cover is just a headless, shirtless white man with huge pecs and his arms crossed. The bottom half blends into a sandstorm with the silhouette of a gunner on top of a vehicle.

From Gloriamarie: I find headless torsos, no matter how gorgeous, unnerving. I am also unnerved by the tank and assault rifle in his nether regions.

Sarah: Pew pew!

Amanda: That’s an aggressive pec.

Sarah: Likewise an aggressive pecker.

Kiki: Pokey nipple.

Sarah: Poke poke. Think it poked people on Facebook back in the day.

Elyse: You really don’t want your nips exposed in a sandstorm, I’m thinking.

Claudia: Maybe that’s why the chest seems… exfoliated?? So smooth?

Carrie: Things that do NOT make me feel sexy:

  • Sandstorms
  • War
  • Huge pectoral muscles

Someone You Loved by Robin Constantine. An illustrated couple amidst some fall foliage. However, the man and woman look exactly like  celebrities Taylor Swift and Colin Farrell.

Amanda: Is this a Taylor Swift/Colin Farrell fanfic?

Elyse: I was just about to say…

Or if you squint, David from Schitt’s Creek.

Maya: I mean, it also kinda looks like that yucky racist guy she was with.

Sarah: Someone called him a “sentient European cigarette” and I promptly expired.


Comments are Closed

  1. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    I do have to say that—despite the obvious drawbacks of its cover—LOVE IN A SANDSTORM is an excellent book, covering things like PTSD, depression (and how it manifests itself differently in men than in women), combat injuries, and what do we owe to people who, through no fault of their own, are no longer the people we fell in love with. A great book…a not-so-great cover.

  2. Escapeologist says:

    That first cover makes me think of very young people trying to figure out how to kiss without bumping noses, and failing.

  3. Luce says:

    The guy on the first cover also seems to be fingering her ear. Clueless, more than flawless.

  4. FashionablyEvil says:

    There’s something about the proportions on the woman on the cover of FLAWLESS that’s throwing me off. It’s like the height of her head is the same as the distance from her shoulder to her waist? Which seems wrong?

  5. chacha1 says:

    A Turn In the Air – title extrapolated from context since they are clearly dancing – but, just saying, anybody dancing in a dress cut that low will not be wearing the dress for long. Of course, that may be the entire point. Aside from illegible font and the guy’s smolder-erring-on-the-side-of-predatory, I like this cover. 🙂

  6. DonnaMarie says:

    @chacha1, dancing? That is not where my brain went. Maybe it’s my ovaries having their last postmenopausal gasp. Any way. Any woman that freakin cute deserves that level of smolder.

  7. Louise says:

    Flawless: Or is it to be read as “flaw, less” plus subtitle? Asset: one flaw; debit: Chestnut Springs. It all leads into: I was so distracted by the • mystery bullet (could it possibly be this font’s hyphen?), I almost overlooked the extra leg, apparently belonging to some smaller woman just off camera.

    A squiggle in the squiggle: I’ve seen a lot of peculiar series titles over the years, but “Wicked Mouse” takes the cake.
    :: peering more closely ::
    Oh. Wicked Moves. One of which is a turn in the air, and then we can have fun choreographing the rest of the series.

    Love in a Sandstorm: Er, no. Keep your clothes on until atmospheric conditions improve.
    @Gloriamarie: The headless torso becomes doubly unnerving when placed against a backdrop of desert combat. Somebody really, really wasn’t thinking.
    And what can any of this possibly have to do with the quaintly Canadian-sounding “Pine Harbour”?

    Someone You Loved: Now, wait, what’s wrong with this? Pretty picture, matching fonts … I do have doubts about the top of the page, however, since “The Promise of Amazing / Robin Constantine” sounds more like a title Judy Blume decided against.

  8. Jazzlet says:

    Our heroine is purposefully distracting our villain so he doesn’t notice the cast iron frying pan in her right hand, which she will swing up to brain him with at just the right moment, while simultaneously kneeing him in the groin. Note how our heroine’s left hand is positioned to hold the villain’s head in place while she swings the frying pan.

  9. EC Spurlock says:

    I thought it was A Twin in the Air, like it was a duology about twin sisters and one was a stewardess or something. Then I wondered whether the other twin was on land or on the sea.

    And Mr Desert Storm has some impressive moobs. He probably doesn’t even need Kevlar.

  10. MissRoyalCake says:

    But..but… no one else sees a tiny man in a hazmat suit booping the snoot of a dragon in the top highlighted area of the Turn in the Air’s heroine’s hair?? (Not a sentence I could have envisaged myself typing this morning…)

    And the perspective? Her hand is clearly at full stretch behind her, and yet his nose is in her hairdo and his…I’m going to call it a towel bulge is right next to her bum cheek? Just how bendy is her spine? Does someone know a good chiropractor?

  11. Wait, what? says:

    My immediate thought on A Turn in the Air is that the woman looks very young. Like, young enough to be a concern . . . and intense dude looks . . . intense

  12. Glen says:

    My first thought about the Love in a Sandstorm cover was that someone had awoken a rather grumpy genie…

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