You did it! We figured this one out! It is a truth universally acknowledged (by me for certain) that the Bitchery pretty much knows everything, and really, it's true. Scroll down to see the solution for this HaBO - and many thanks!
This HaBO comes from Jen, who is looking for a historical romance. Jen’s way of describing this had me in stitches:
I think I read this book in the early 2000s, but it could have been written earlier.
The setting is medieval England but I don’t think there’s any actual historical characters. The hero is a lord of some sort. He was married previously, his wife died, and has a lot of children, like a comical amount of children. More than 6. And they are a handful. It’s chaos. He wants to remarry just to have someone to corral all these kids. But he definitely doesn’t want MORE kids.
So he arranges himself a marriage with a beautiful and capable heroine who doesn’t know that this will be the deal but he is determined not to sleep with her because he WANTS NO MORE CHILDREN. But she’s so beautiful! And he’s so handsome! And they are really into each other.
What I remember most about the book is that it is absolutely hilarious and all these children make the castle into an absolute chaos circus.
Of course they are unable to keep their hands off each other and the book ends with the birth of the next baby.
The cover was cartoony.
Sadly, none of the “comical amounts of children” romances I know of have medieval settings.
Charming the Prince
by Teresa Medeiros
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Sounds an awful lot like “Charming the Prince” by Teresa Medeiros.
“Lord Bannor the Bold has never feared anything in his life–until the war ends and he finds himself a reluctant papa to a dozen unruly children. He sends his steward out to find them a mother–some meek, plain creature who won’t tempt him to get her with child. But his steward returns with a spirited beauty who makes him think of nothing else.”
If I recall correctly (and am not confusing with another medieval romcom), she goes to the village strumpet to find out how to have sex without getting pregnant and the woman tells her to keep a penny between her knees. This leads to a very hot fingerbanging session and the heroine thanks the strumpet so gratefully that our village lady then has to confess she was making fun of her.
(There’s also a running joke in there about how many of the girls are named some variation of Margaret.)
Seconding ‘Charming The Prince’. (Though I don’t remember anything about the part with the village? Then again it’s been around 5 years since I’ve read it.)
Oh! Oh! It’s My Last Duchess by Eloisa James.
“Every Duke needs a Duchess…
Hugo Wilde, the Duke of Lindow, has a drafty castle, eight naughty children—and no wife. Ophelia, Lady Astley, has a fine house, one well-behaved daughter—and no husband.
Hugo takes one look at Ophelia and loses his heart, but she doesn’t want more children or a castle. She takes one look at him and heads for her carriage.
Desperate to find a duchess, Hugo identifies an appropriate lady to woo. Yet when he meets Ophelia again, the duke realizes that he will marry her, or no one.
Now he faces the greatest challenge of his life.
He must convince Ophelia that their blazing sensuality, his exquisite castle, and his eight charming children add up to a match made in heaven. “
Oops. Just reread that the OP said it was early 2000s or earlier. My Last Duchess definitely wasn’t out then.
DEFINITELY Charming the Prince by Teresa Medeiros!
Yet again HaBo has identified a new romance sub-genre! I didn’t realize how many historical romances with a comical amount of children I’ve read until seeing this (but not medieval romances).
This is definitely not the book in question but Heartland by Rebecca Brandewyne has a couple matching up to adopt his late sister’s eight kids. The epilogue notes they had five more kids and now had thirty-eight grandchildren. Some romance couples are very good at wrangling masses of children!
@Diandra – I thought of a different Eloisa James book, A Duke of Her Own, as the Duke of Villiers also has a number of children. But it’s definitely not a Medieval setting and still a bit too recent (2009).
The Trouble With Harry by Katie MacAlister is not medieval the setting is 19th century but I am positive it’s what you’re looking for. It’s a fun book.
I know this book! I’ve read this book! The last baby is named Mary Margaret. All of the daughters were named after his late wife. Off to see if I still have it…
@EC Spurlock, pretty sure that’s the Medeiros identified by Omphale. Late wife = Mary Margaret, new baby= Marie Marguerite.
Pretty bonkers book as I recall, no Idea how it would uphold today.
Look guys. I originally read the title for this HABO and thought it said “comical amount of chickens” and I was in. But! knowing what book it is because I’ve read this book (multiple times) and it has to be Charming the Prince…. it just MUST BE. I’m now also reading over some of these other suggestions and making my TBR so very much bigger.
I am sitting in this thread taking notes, for this trope is my kryptonite (I thought it was a Arnette Lamb but none of the summaries match. This is achingly familiar to me, though).
It’s been a long time since I read the Medeiros, but weren’t some of the children adopted? Like orphaned or abandoned on his doorstep?
Another book with a comical number of children is “True Story” by Jayne Fresina. Not the HABO, it’s Victorian era not medieval. The hero is divorced, and has 8 kids, both legitimate and illegitimate. The heroine is someone he’s hired as a secretary, so he can dictate his memoirs.
@Sandra, as I recall the trick with the penny Omphale described didn’t work very well as a method of contraception. The Lord accepted the resulting children as his offspring, even though they weren’t (leading to a major plot point…). It’s been ages since I’ve read this but as you can tell it’s quite memorable.
It’s a book by Christina Dodd. Sorry I don’t remember the title.
Actually, there was similar HABO not that long ago (July 2020). “Charming the Prince” was in fact the answer to that one. Details Here (If I manage to get the link right…):
I also thought the title of the post was a comical amount of chickens. Anyone know books with that?
For those of you looking for a comical amount of chickens, and if you like sweet (and no sex) romance, I recommend Liz Talley’s A Down Home Christmas. The chickens wear sweaters.
As often happens with HABOs, the comments have taken an interesting turn. 🙂
If you are looking for hilarious amounts of chickens, Sweep With Me by ilona andrews has some pretty amazing Space Chickens.
I was thinking there’s almost certainly a Lyndsay Sands book that would fit that in her highlander’s series! (the first one?) but they might also be too recent.
@Lotti: The Space Chickens make a cameo appearance in the most recent Innkeeper serial, posting every Friday on their blog.
Am I the only one who has a hard time finding “too many children” comical? Yeah, the parents are rich, and yeah, they love the children, but…. The stress is real.
(It turns out that already the ancient Egyptians knew that a vinegar-soaked sponge works pretty well as a spermicidal barrier, a method that was discussed in a previous HABO here.)
It sounds like it’s already answered, but I’m suggesting The Trouble with Harry by Katie MacAlister, just in case. There are rubber ducks on the front, even thought rubber ducks weren’t even invented at the time the book takes place. Harry has too many children and needs a mother for them. Plum needs a husband who won’t care that she wrote a book about sex, without actually being married to have had the sexy times.
Vasha, no, you’re not the only one.
On a similar note, Liberty for Paul by Rose Gordon has the hero supporting fourteen children, so the heroine mistakenly believes they are his illegitimate kids. They actually are family, but not his. He’s just a good guy.
This was my question and Charming The Prince was it! Thank you! Now, off to read about comical amounts of chickens!