By request, it’s time for our community check in, which I call the “Hayadoin” post!
What’s up? How’s things by you? Anything you’re anticipating this month?
Here at SBHQ, it’s nearly the Days of Awe, with Rosh Hashana next week, and also the Days of AWWW HECK I GOT A LOT TO DO. I know for many folks, and definitely for myself, the Jewish new year, the new school year, and the change of season in general create an autumn “new year” mentality where I assess what’s working and try to make things as chill and mellow for Future Sarah as I possibly can.
Of course, this year, everything feels a little weird and new-ish, what with being back to school in-person with masks (Thank you, Montgomery County, I will make you pumpkin bread whenever you ask) and having two (TWO) children in high school (HOW. How did this happen?) (Was it the feeding them every day that did it? I bet that was it.) (In unrelated news, time to go to Costco because teenagers.) Do I remember how to do the schedule thing where there’s a 67% increased likelihood of my having to drive someone somewhere at some point during the day?
As a result of the new school year, new Jewish year (happy 5782 y’all!) and the shift from one set of COVID protocols to another set, I’m looking at my own schedule and tasks and taking stock. What do I want to change? What do I want to keep? Does anyone else do this or is this just me? (Probably not. It is the internet, so it’s never just me.)
One recipe link we are definitely keeping on frequent rotation: Serious Eats’ Halal Cart Style Chicken and Rice. I could eat it once a week, I think.
What about you? Hayadoin? What’s going on with you? Please tell us about it!
I am definitely in a swirl of emotions with both my kids in school full time (masked!) for the first time in 18 months plus. I am very happy for them and me (!), but I think I definitely feeling that “stress still in my body” feeling that was covered so well in BURNOUT by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. I also can’t get rid of the nagging worry that they will still get sick and/or school will have to switch back at virtual at some point. Sorry, not a helpful thought for a lot of people, but it is definitely there, so I’m being honest. Realizing I was fixated on it I also helped me realize it was time for another big break in the news. I do much better when I limit my exposure drastically, but it tends to creep up when I’m not being mindful about it. *every day*, I have to remind myself. ‘Don’t do it.’
So I’m re-reading BURNOUT and trying to me very mindful of the choices I make and trying to tune into ‘what my body needs’ not, ‘what I need to do/I’m supposed to do.’ I went for a run, the windows are open to let beautiful fresh air, and now I’m going to take a long bath with a book before I push myself to do anything else. I realize I’m very privileged to get to that, but I hope everyone who can thinks of some way to get some ‘me time’ today.
I won a blue ribbon at the state fair (cross stitch with beading) and have a good friend’s wedding to attend this weekend (on a riverboat on the river). I finished a sewing project (lined dress) and am almost done reworking one of my mom’s UFOs (also a dress) to wear myself. And then the social calendar goes blank again, and it will just be me, at home, thinking and planning for the next sewing and cross-stitch projects because having that next project to think about and occupy my time is pretty much what is keeping me sane.
I live by myself, so there are lots of hours to fill, and creating something ends up being a lot better for me than doom-scrolling. Gives me something to think about other than work, which is a converted spare bedroom since I am still working from home. And g-d-mn it, gives me pretty stuff to put on the walls or wear. Even if no one else ever sees it.
I’m watching the news and just stunned by all the flooding on the East Coast. There’s a one dayevent to stuff your ereaders (sept.2) with 500 free ebooks. http://www.romancebookworms.com
Going to rate today as a solid “OK”. We signed all the paperwork to put the house up for sale (we have already moved, just need the old one gone.) I found the library in the new city and signed up, checked out a couple of soft reads and was actually able to get through them. I have been having a reading slump where I could only re-read favorites, so moving on to something new is big for me!
It’s funny you should mention Rosh Hashana, as I have been getting FB ads for an adorable little Rosh Hashana kit for families with young children, despite the fact that we 1) do not have young children, and 2) are not Jewish. I’m thinking about getting it anyway, as it just makes me smile.
Packing for an apartment move—which I haven’t done in five years—during a very busy work week has been exhausting. Worth it, though, because my partner & I will be living together for the first time! My partner moved abroad for work for a ~2ish year assignment and I have not been able to visit them since COVID hit / they have not been able to come to the US for a visit because their work requires them to be on-site and that wasn’t going to work well with quarantine requirements. I’m very much looking forward to our reunion!
Turned Yet Another Very Round Number a couple weeks ago, mixed feelings all over, not just about age, everything has been very up & down lately. But hey, Jcp up there ^ just helped swing this day a little closer to the good side with that huge list of free books! Just shows things could always be just a moment away from maybe turning better.
Burned out. Tired of bad news. Grumpy in a petty way at the state of publishing (as per usual, as a former retail & wholesale book trade gal.)
I’m bummed that my preorder of FOR THE LOVE OF APRIL FRENCH by Penny Aimes, placed on March 17 at the $4.99 price point, got cancelled.
The book released at the new price point of $6.99. If I knew the extra $2 was going to the author, I’d just pay it, but… Carina has been discounting their titles like crazy shortly after release, so I guess I’ll wait.
@Argie: That’s so cool – congrats on the blue ribbon! I know what you mean about having a project. I do the same with quilting.
I finished crocheting one of two blankets I’m obligated to do before Christmas, and my space looks slightly more relaxing with one substantial to-do removed from my sight.
In order to get the blankets done on schedule, I need to work on them ~2 hours a day, and my ADHD demands external stimuli to pin me down that long, so I’m watching more movies than I ever have in my life. The selection available via free-with-commercials streaming isn’t exactly overflowing with North American blockbusters from this century, so I’ve fallen down the foreign film rabbit hole. Yup, movies I have to READ are a great choice while performing a task requiring hand-eye coordination (*weeps softly*), but Korea makes some slick horror and action movies and the elaborate costumes, fabulous architecture, grand scale, and fight scenes of Chinese historical dramas satisfy a lot of my craving for epic fantasy, so it’s been good overall.
I’ve had two weeks with far too much adulting in them but I get to have a nice family visit this weekend as my parents are traveling in New England and celebrate my Dad’s birthday. My new job is good and keeping me busy but has some points of being maddening. The library’s in a state of transition and I’m a temp, so lots of work for me. Also they’re getting ready for a renovation and the children’s section is putting categories on all their books, which I”m really hands on with. Nice people but this huge big project wasn’t organized well and its tiring.
Last week I had my car need fixing and it still needs more looking at, but in good, I got a slight adjustment to my contacts that makes a difference. All the rain in my area has let me know I have a tiny leak in my ceiling but the right people know. All in all, its tiring but the BPL is open more so I can go and browse in the library sometimes.
Life is being a lot at the moment so I’ve been doing some rereading of old favorites like the first Sorcery and Cecelia book and Susanna Clarke’s The Ladies of Grace Adieu.
Luckily with the bad weather I was able to work from home the past two days. Currently stressed by work, because I am covering for not one but *2* coworkers on maternity leave. (One of whom gave birth early and I was still in training.) So, yeah…ready to run off to Italy or live in the world of a book.
Oh, thank you, Jcp! There are a couple of books available by Jeannie Lin which I haven’t read yet.
I’m actually on schedule for my reading goal this year and ahead of where I was at the end of last year.
Just started Jenny Lawson’s new book. (Needed something humorous right now.)
My kids went back to school three weeks ago. They’re masked but it’s not mandatory here which has me raging mad and emailing our school board almost daily. My kids are all under 12, so while my husband and I (and extended family) are vaccinated the kids are not. I live in Florida, where our governor is actively trying to make the national news for NOT PROTECTING CHILDREN’S HEALTH in the middle of a pandemic in which our state is the epicenter of the country!!!! I can’t rant much longer or I will feel my heart rate increase as I rage, but nevertheless it’s so disheartening and downright scary.
The really bright spot though- we were able to enroll all of our kids in a Moderna vaccine trial and they got their first shots two weeks ago. It’s a double blind study, so a 3 in 4 chance that they did get the vaccine and not placebo, which are definitely good odds. Plus, Yay for Science!
The kids were incredible troopers about getting bloodwork, nose swabs and shots in one day and were rewarded with some awesome lego sets. We’ve had a lot of fun since then working on the sets as a family.
When we offered another incentive (i.e. bribe) for having to get shots they all asked for new books. As a voracious reader, which I’m guessing most of the Bitchery are too, nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids get excited about new books! Plus, I personally, finally, started Sherry Thomas’ Lady Sherlock series and I’m devouring them. So that is making me happy, even if I’m back to not wanting to leave the house.
I put a hold on “Laziness Doesn’t Exist” by Devon Price after someone here mentioned it a few days ago. So far it’s an interesting read. I’ve been meaning to read “Burnout” for a long time, so I guess I’ll have to put that on the list.
I’ve been following a childfree housewife (her description – her name is Tiffany and she’s Canadian) on IG and I love how mindful and positive she is – she’s very transparent about the struggle of learning to redefine her value separate from bringing home a paycheck. We’ve all bought into this lie that monetary contribution is the only one we can really make, and that if you don’t have kids, having one person be a stay at home spouse is “unfair”, “lazy”, etc, because apparently only having kids is a “justification” for a partner to stay home? It has me thinking a lot about my relationship with my work and how it impacts my ability to progress in other areas of my life.
I gathered books last week for a horror display at my library that my coworker set up yesterday, and people have already checked out at least 6 items from it. It’s very satisfying. 🙂
I also got a sweet note left on the whiteboard by some of my regular teens – they came in while I was out to lunch the other day. After dealing with a very unpleasant patron the day before, I was still out of sorts and that was just the mood booster I needed.
I’m looking forward to being off work tomorrow. I’m planning to clean the house, which isn’t necessarily fun, but I’ve been putting it off forever and I know I will enjoy the end result very much.
I’m avoiding the news, especially with the news about the newest anti-choice law in Texas taking effect yesterday. It’s all too depressing.
I’m really down about the situation with the new abortion law in Texas, and the Supreme Court’s decision on it, and feeling the need to escape on the couch with my ereader and a beer or in the garden with an audiobook, but also recognizing those aren’t very constructive reactions.
By now, I’m sure everyone knows how my week went…but, about three hours ago, we got power back! When all the appliances started beeping, my daughter and I both started crying—such a relief. Bless all the electrical workers who poured into Louisiana after Hurricane Ida and are going neighborhood by neighborhood getting lights back on again. I know we were so fortunate: we had no damage to our house, our area did not flood, and we were only without electricity for four days. Now we’re washing sheets and towels, vacuuming, doing dishes, etc. Not drowning in one’s own sweat sure makes one feel industrious! One thing my husband (aka, the Grillmeister) did was take all of the meat from our big freezer before it could decay and he cooked it using the Big Green Egg and the propane grill. Then we called friends and neighbors to come by and fix themselves plates. So glad we didn’t have to lose too much food and we were able to save some of our friends from having to cook. While I was disconnected from wireless/internet, I read some older books I had on my kindle: Amelia Wilde’s six-book Bliss Brothers series about six brothers who run a resort in upstate New York. Wilde’s recent work is super-dark so I was surprised that as recently as 2019 she was still publishing fluffy, trope-y romances. I also read an MMF-ménage romance, THEIR MATCHMAKER by Allyson Lindt, also published in 2019. What I liked about that book was the realistically-flawed MCs—addiction, enabling, co-dependency, etc. Really interesting relationship dynamics. Now excuse me while I bask in being in a house where the thermostat shows a temperature of under 90-degrees!
Happy year 5782!
My daughter (who lives in South Korea) just bought plane tickets for an October visit. She last visited in May 2019, and we are looking forward to seeing her in person. We are thinking good thoughts that all will go smoothly.
I only have one kid going back to school, 11th grade, since the older two both graduated from college in May. Middle took his three Bachelors and a Master’s and moved to Dallas to adult as a financial analyst, and the the oldest passed his boards and is adulting as a Doctor of Physical Therapy.
I had news that my gig work may be picking up as the industry has started opening up. Will be glad to have some work.
Always reading.
Agree – the news has been dreadful. My family lost everything to flooding from Hurricane Agnes when I was 7, so this is definitely bringing back unwanted memories. Yesterday I became a true empty nester (twins are in college, oldest started grad school) so I’m adjusting to that transition. I’ve been wondering if some handmade quilts and/or baby sweaters would be useful for Afghan refugees, so maybe I’ll do some stash reduction….The beautiful weather is definitely the best thing about today! Finally, windows are open!
Shana Tova, SB Sarah and all the Jews of the Bitchery! And good luck to everyone dealing with newness and change and the start of this still-very-freaky school year. And big virtual hugs to the Texas contingent and everyone affected by Ida — I’m so sorry, y’all. Big love to all the teachers, librarians, and activists in the room.
I’m…OK? Also gearing up for Rosh Hashanah, praying we can have Erev Rosh dinner outside with my mom & her husband, brother and his husband and kid, and my husband and kids and kid #1’s bf and college roommate. (Thankfully, everyone is vaxxed and the collegians live off-campus; I am v v worried about dorm life. But then, I don’t think any of us are fully safe; my vaxxed former boss, who I love, got breakthrough Covid in July. He’s OK, just v miserable.) I adore Rosh Hashanah and am so bummed not to have in-person services, but of course it’s for the best. My mom usually hosts a meal but she’s getting a bit frail. :/ So I’m working on both dinner and a Rosh Hashanah seder, a Sephardic tradition, mostly as a distraction and because I know it’ll make mom happy. (She usually does one; I’m adapting one to be a little weirder and funnier and more explicitly social justice-oriented.)
I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety, OBV. Lots of it financial: Quit a job a few months ago for ethical reasons — so weird that no one gives one cookies for this! — but I couldn’t live with myself contributing to a venture I think is bad for the world. Relationship is challenging right now, largely due to pandemic isolation (spouse is way more social by nature than I) and money stress; next year, God willing, we will have TWO kids in college. Have a book about apologies (based on my colleague Susan’s and my longstanding web site SorryWatch.com) coming out I HOPE NEXT YEAR, but publisher keeps MOVING THE DATE because as I’m sure all the other writers among us can testify, PUBLISHING IS FUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUCKED. Lots of flooding here in NYC in the wake of Ida but FORTUNATELY our dining room ceiling fell down in the tropical storm BEFORE Henri (can’t even remember THE NAME of that one anymore) and we haven’t fixed it yet! WOOT. (<– sarcastic woot)
Everyone in my family has started school as of today! We are all in person (my twins started middle school, eldest kid started high school, and my parter and I teach at a university). All of our schools have a mask mandate (the youngest’s school as of YESTERDAY, good lord). We’re all vaccinated except for the twins, who are 11. My eldest has already had to stay home for two days with a Covid scare (thankfully, negative) and we’ve already had a day canceled due to flooding. It all feels vaguely apocalyptic.
As much as I’m scared to be in-person, being at home was so bad for all of our mental health, so we’re in a weird space where we both really want to be in person and we feel bad for wanting to be in person.
I’ve been rage eating because *just looks out there*. As of this morning, I can recommend adding chocolate syrup to your bowl of healthy steel cut oatmeal, along with some yogurt and pomegranate arils. Also found at the store: Smartfood Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnut Popcorn. Kind of tastes like sugar and vanilla. Of course, TJs Bamba for all emotional emergencies.
Other than that, reading reading reading, listening when I can’t read, thanking all the book goddesses for getting me through this, donating my money to NARAL. When will the madness stop?
Our dishwasher has apparently been slowly leaking through the floor for the last several months. The upside is that I’ve wanted to remodel the kitchen since we bought the house so my husband is going to get estimates to see what our budget will allow.
The school district upheld a mask mandate and yesterday my kid reported that kids in her school staged an anti-mask protest including one kid throwing a nazi salute. I knew my town had assholes.
@DDD glad to hear you are OK and have power back!
I’m doing…fine, I guess? I feel like I have stress coming from multiple different corners of life and that always has the net effect of making me want to hide under the covers until it all goes away. My kids start school on Wednesday, in-person thankfully because virtual was not doing it for either of them. The state has implemented a mask mandate (yay!) but the county is still discussing whether they want to overrule it (not yay!). Red part of blue state problems. We are all vaxxed except my 11 year old but the whole situation has brought back a lot of the decision fatigue that I felt last year and would have been happy never to feel again. One kid has friend drama, the other kid has sports drama. It sucks when they are sad. I may or may not have upcoming work drama that could negatively affect us financially. So yeah. It’s a lot right now. Reading is thankfully a bright spot. I’m about 60% through the first Kate Daniels book and while I can see what people mean about the first book in this series, I trust Ilona Andrews and can see enough good things in there that I’m excited to keep going. There are about 15 other books on my Kindle that are calling my name as well. Like I said, I’d be fine if my only responsibility was to stay under the covers and read!
Things have been really chaotic in my life the past few weeks, but it looks like it’s finally going to settle down (famous last words…I hope not.) I finally started journaling in my target languages, which is a study practice that’s been recommended to me for, oh, years now, but I’m an inconsistent journaler in English and so have been avoiding it. So now I’m writing in Spanish and Korean every day…or, most days, and it’s been an interesting exercise, though I don’t write very much.
And yesterday it was announced that the only good reality show, BTS in the Soop, is getting a second season! I am seriously not a reality show person, but somehow In the Soop ended up the most soothing, comforting thing. It was eight episodes of BTS cooking and fishing and painting and I adore it. I’ve actually been rewatching it lately to get a break from the chaos in my life, and so I’m very excited that we get to have more of it.
I have many cool projects right now.
So many.
So very, very many.
One that I’m especially excited about is a program to train people to do educational publishing, such as informational books for kids, lesson plans, test passages etc. It involves seven webinars and a mentorship option where people can get feedback on their work. There’s not a lot of diversity in the field, so we offered scholarships for people from underrepresented backgrounds. With the scholarship students and some paid students, we have over a dozen people of color and some queer and/or neurodiverse students. They are all really strong candidates for doing this kind of work, so I hope it will lead to lots of work for them and more diversity in the people who are creating these materials for kids.
There are so many problems in the world, but this is my little attempt to make things better.
Shane tova to all of you who are celebrating the new year. Here in Melbourne, Australia we are facing another Rosh Hashana with stay at home orders so we will be catching up with family and friends via Zoom. I have made honey cake and other holiday foods and will be dropping off parcels during my 2 hours of daily exercise over the weekend.
My cross stitching and reading, and of course podcasts, are helping to keep me on track, but I would love to be able to cuddle my grandchildren who live 500 metres down the road.
@Emily C – THANK YOU for enrolling your kids. That is an awesome thing for your family to do and I am grateful for families like yours.
My kids are 18 and 22 and so they have both been vaccinated, as have hubby and I. My youngest started college a couple of weeks ago and it’s a relief not to have to deal with the K-12 system anymore (though I understand they require masks be worn indoors and have other precautions). It is also a very weird feeling, leaving the district after 17 years. I planned to keep volunteering at the high school but they don’t allow volunteering anymore (understandable). I am visiting my parents at the moment (they live far away from me, and I missed seeing them last year) and can’t help laughing at myself because I’m away from home in September and it feels like I’m cutting school LMAO.
L’shana tova to everyone celebrating – wishing you all a sweet new year. My fam is doing the newly-traditional immediate-family-only outdoor fiestita (instead of the 30+-person indoor extravaganza we usually held pre-pandemic), so I’m holding my breath that the weather’s nice or else it’s not happening at all and I’ll be stuck with a big chocolate dessert all to myself (you might think that wouldn’t be a problem, but even I can’t eat that much brownie, mousse, and whipped cream solo).
I have 2 crochet projects stalled at the 95% finished stage – I am so sick of them that I don’t want to touch them anymore, but I need the effing things OFF MY COUCH. Ahem. Sorry. I will try to finish at least one this weekend.
Stay well and safe, everyone!
@cayenne: May I ask what the recipe is for this much brownie, mousse and whipped cream?!! I am curious about all of these items.
Only @DiscoDollyDeb could combine a hurricane status update with a book update – so glad to know you and yours are well! And Happy New Year to all celebrating. Things everywhere are so unbelievably horrifying that it’s hard to imagine a “good” year, but I keep thinking how absolutely miserable the last years of Beethoven’s life were, and he still managed to leave us with Ode to Joy.
Like for some above, much has changed recently for me of late: my kids are all out of the house (but never out of my thoughts), I’m now working independently from home instead of out in the world, and I’m far older than I once would have considered tolerable. I am so grateful for technology that lets us communicate with like-minded people (I love you, Bitchery!) and that makes access to books and audiobooks so omnipresent. I work (write), read, care for and feed hubby, and take long walks with my dog. And I pray that the younger generations somehow make wiser choices than mine did.
I’ve been holding up through all sorts of awfulness at the university where I work (literally hundreds of folks lost their jobs and dozens of programs were cut). Our term starts next week, for those of us who survived the cuts. I have to refocus on getting ready to teach on-campus again (while doing the unacknowledged work of setting up remote access in two courses where that isn’t being provided by the university because I’m certain, in fact, I’ve already had requests from some students that they need this accommodation).
So I cross-stitch every evening that I can and play Dungeons & Dragons semi-online with far-flung family members, as well as go on long walks daily. I also am grateful for our public library throughout all of this providing me with fun romances and romantic mysteries: I’ve scored more in-print books the last month but their ebook collection has been a lifesaver.
I’m about to start round four with the usurious bastards at BOA. So far I’ve wasted six hours of my life on hold with “customer service” and been disconnected both times someone finally answered the call. My zen is being seriously tested.
I know I’m still in the weeds with the grieving process. It’s certainly not the same as when I lost my Mom 20 years ago. Dad got 91 well-lived years; it’s a different kind of sad. The physically/emotionally taxing part is done, but the intellectually/emotionally taxing dealing with the house full of stuff and the house and the aforementioned usurious bastards part is ongoing. Especially trying when your brothers think you have all the answers and professional level pasdsive/aggressive skills.
Still, it’s good to be back in my own home with lots of books and Brit police procedurals to binge from the GBPL. To be able to sit out on my patio with a glass of wine and enjoy the green. To not constantly hear my name being called by multiple people from opposite ends of the house. I told everyone at work to call me Hey You or Oh Miss for a month.
@SB Sarah – the brownie thing is basically an assembly of various recipes, scaled to the number of guests. Make your favourite brownie recipe in whatever pan you want (I mostly use a springform), cool it thoroughly. Make your preferred mousse recipe (mine is egg-free since I’m allergic to egg whites), spread on cooled brownie, chill. Make fresh sweetened whipped cream (plain or chocolate), pipe onto chilled mousse layer with medium star piping tip until entire surface is covered in simple rosettes (will kinda resemble a McCain Deep ‘n’ Delicious cake), then sprinkle tiny chocolate chips or shave semi-sweet chocolate all over. Chill until serving, then fight your kids for your share. Enjoy!
Autumn “new year” is so true. Some of the better paper-based planners out there start in September.
As my kid starts a second masked year of middle school, all their existing anxiety and sensory issues are turned up to 11, the guidance counselor is on speed dial (or email, I don’t like to talk on the phone, what are we, in 1991?) and I just wanted to send big hugs to anyone else going through this. Advocate for your kids and remember to take care of yourself. We will get through this one day at a time, and if it takes ALL the books and podcasts and webcomics and video games and crafts and snacks and beverages, so be it.
Super burnt out. Tired of people screaming about not wanting to get vaccinated.
I recently told my sister that she could not visit her nieces this weekend (they are both under 5) when she travels in from out of state because she is bringing her boyfriend who doesn’t feel like he needs to get vaccinated.
Well… he tested positive this morning, so they are not visiting at all. I feel like “I told you so” isn’t an appropriate sentiment to have because now he is ill and I would never ill-wish somebody who is sick. I really hope my sister’s vaccine is working and she does not get it from him.
Plus my 4 year old is in Pre-K (and really blooming) but I’m terrified her mask won’t keep her safe.
Also Big Mad at Texas.
Shana Tova to those who celebrate 🙂
I’m “Covid-fine”. So, things in my immediate space are ok, but the world is on fire, and I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind bc from 7am-10 pm it’s work and homeschooling and taking care of an elderly parent and trying to be a decent spouse. I feel myself becoming more and more feral, and I’m holding on to this veneer of functionality by the skin of my teeth. But it’s fine, ya know?
I had my birthday on Sunday, for which I had a small dinner with my parents, but the real celebrations didn’t start until my mom and I went to pick up my best friend on Monday. She stayed until Thursday, and while it was short notice since her time off is usually in July, it was really good to spend time together so soon’ the last one was in late June, and that had been 18 months since the time prior. This current visit was allowed to even happen because staff at one of her work’s suppliers got Covid, so the initial reasoning is not good, but I was glad of the results. During this visit I did my first open mic since my friend left to go back to Maryland, and it also went well. I hope to do more soon. The story on how I began is in Whatcha Reading August part two.