Cover Snark: Tanner and Megan Make It Weird

Happy Cover Snark Monday!

Wolf Girl by Leia Stone. A blonde woman is arching her back at the full moon while a ghost wolf shoots out of her chest.

From Kerri: I am having super uncomfortable Alien flashbacks looking at this cover.

Sarah: That’s how I feel after eating Brussels sprouts.

Tara: This is giving me paranormal Flashdance vibes.

Catherine: Yeah, my periods feel like that too.

Sarah: LOLOL Catherine.

Sneezy: Haaa Catherine, that was me for the past three days

Except my wolf wasn’t so obliging as hers. It felt more like it was ingrown.

And decided to chew on me

Space Oddities by Sara L. Hudson. A man is looking down at his crotch where a woman's handle is cradling a round VOTE sticker. The title is also in confusing script font

From Heather: WTF?!?

The VOTE placement is really funny but I’m also quite perplexed by the font choice for “Oddities” – it’s virtually illegible.

Kiki: Qddi4ties

Alternatively: 0ddiZie8

Sarah: Qdidilies?

Tara: D ddifies

Sarah: D DDITIES — is this a new euphemism for breasts?

Tara: Well, that’s what I’m going to call them now.

Claudia: Otities??

Amanda: Love the voting PSA

It’s a nice break from the mammogram/self breast exam reminders

Sneezy: Sir, if my itty bitty titties must be subjected to a bra in public, your biggie jiggly boobies need them too.

Catherine: But also, why the voting PSA? And why the placement? Is the cover artist suggesting the candidates are all dicks?

Tara: They’re not really wrong…

Catherine: That title looks like when you create a password by swapping out half the letters of a word or phrase for numbers or symbols…

His Beauty by Leah Sharelle. A man and woman are making out on a motorcycle. He is sitting on it and she's sitting on him.

Amanda: These two are that couple in high school or middle school that you have to awkwardly walk past to get to your locker

And in my head, I’ve named them Tanner and Megan

EllenM: In my high school we had these trash cans with really wide ledges around the outside of the actual hole where trash went and couples would always sit or lean on the trash ledges to make out

I was like UR BUTTS ON A TRASH CAN?!

Sarah: So that’s where the “sexy trash can” halloween costumes came from?

Sneezy: Between falling into a sexy trash can and toppling over on a bike while making out, I propose the former is superior. One you’re just in pain, the other you could have potentially fallen into another world. A Sexy Trash Can world.

May the Best Man Win by J.R. Gray and Kate Kawthorne. A man wearing denim pants and a denim jacket with dark sunglasses is brandishing a pineapple at his crotch

From Pam: You’ve probably seen this, but I couldn’t resist sharing this tropical treat in case you hadn’t.

Sarah: Are we going to have to debate pineapples in this location like we do pineapple on pizza? Not looking forward to that.

Carrie: “Son, you’ve got a condition.”

Amanda: Well personally pineapples on pizza isn’t a debate. They are tasty and belong there. Can’t say the same for that crotch pineapple.

Maya: Tiffany Haddish in Girls Trip is like I’ll see you that pineapple and raise you a grapefruit

Tiffany Haddish from the movie Girls Trip. She has a banana pushed through an orange. She's saying that you never want to do this with a pineapple because she almost died.

Tara: He’d better not try putting that back on the shelf.

Amanda: Oh he will and he’ll likely just put it somewhere in the bread aisle.

Sneezy: No one wants a spiky dick, John.

 

Comments are Closed

  1. Eow says:

    Hol’ up. Isn’t the torso from “Space Dibbles” the same one from “Tough Love” from two weeks ago?

  2. Ren Benton/Lena Brassard says:

    I vividly remember coming across stock art of a woman holding pineapples over her breasts, so you’ll be delighted to know there’s series potential for the Pineapple People!

    (Also one where she’s holding a pineapple to her ear as if it’s telling her Dark Pineapple Secrets. The Pineapple will not be typecast as a sex object.)

  3. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    Ok—take a look at the cover for HIS SWEETNESS (from the same author and series as HIS BEAUTY). Tell me they didn’t just turn “Tanner” around and make him “Megan”:

    https://www.amazon.com/His-Sweetness-Wounded-Souls-Book-ebook/dp/B07BFB7SDF/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=leah+sharelle&qid=1626094063&sprefix=leah+sha&sr=8-5

  4. Lisa F says:

    Remember folks, don’t let anyone put their pineapple near your pizza without applying protection first.

  5. Kristen A. says:

    Anybody else seen Cabaret a few too many times and immediately want to burst out singing:

    If you brought me diamonds
    If you brought me pearls
    If you brought me roses like some other gents might give to other girls
    It couldn’t please me more
    Than the gift I see
    A PINEAPPLE for me.

  6. Gloriamarie Amalfitano says:

    Wolf Girl: my very first thought was that looks painful. So very painful. That was also my 2nd, 3rd, all my thoughts. Painful.

    Space Oddi?ies: He needs a really good underwire bra. While I all in favor of people getting out to vote, I wonder what voting has to do with Space Oddi?ies. Although it looks like it might have something to do with his junk.

    His Beauty, I can’t think that is a comfy way to make out but I am really worried about that brick wall. Is it melting and going to drip hot brick on them? Is it starting to implode and they are too involved to notice certain doom approaching?

    May the Best Nam Win… well, I have no idea who the best man is but it surely is not this doofus mouth breather holding produce in an altogether too suggestive a manner.

  7. Merle says:

    Wolf Girl: Am I the only one who thinks she appears to be kneeling on the head of a giant stone dick? Also, to me the wolf does not appear to be coming out of her, so maybe wolf yoga is the new goat yoga?

    Space Oddities: I guess the voting PSA people finally realized sex sells?

    His Beauty: I’m very tired, and somehow my brain combined the series title and author name, to read Wounded Squirrels. Which might be more interesting. Also, there’s something strangely careful/tentative about the position of her hands/arms, as if he’s a mannequin (sp?) and she’s afraid of knocking him over, ripping his head off or something.

  8. PamG says:

    @DDD

    Nah– Thats Madison and Jake. At least they’re not imbedded in the wall.

  9. PamG says:

    If you like peen-ah coladas. . .

  10. Louise says:

    Wolf Girl: Why are her legs that color? Is she wearing shorts over fishnets? Eeeeuwww.

    Space Oddities: No, wait. Is that the series title in gigantic type, and the individual book is Ground Control to Major Cutie, thoughtfully letting the reader deduce the last word without doing battle with the font?

    Now and then you just have to look up a book to see wtf is actually going on. Courtesy Amazon, I learn that Our Hero is a NASA flight controller whose father is a Texas state senator–making the “Vote” button more than slightly ironic–“intending to push his son into a politically-motivated marriage”. I will say nothing about Our Heroine, because frankly the book sounds absolutely terrible. I hope this is accurate, because it would be heartbreaking if a good romance had to overcome the twin obstacles of a snark-worthy cover and an inept blurb.

    His Beauty: I hope they are not planning on going anywhere–geographically, I mean–on that motorcycle, seeing as how they have at most one full set of clothing between the two of them.

    May the Best Man Win: Is this a romcom where, at the eleventh hour, the best man runs off with the bride? Yawn. Or are we looking at the winner of a “worst possible fruit analogy for your junk” contest?

    :: vague mental association with male cats ::

  11. MsCellanie says:

    @Louise
    Are you calling into question my fashion choices of the mid-to-late-80s/early-90s where I proudly wore shorts over fishnets and thought I looked amazing?

    I will say that no wolves were involved. I did draw a line there.

    When you put the covers of “Space Oddities” & “May the best man win” together, it looks like there was an election and the pineapple won. It makes me wonder what the other choices were.

  12. TinaNoir says:

    The guy on the cover of May The Best Man Win looks like the central casting jerk on every 80s teen movie. He is NOT the guy that gets the girl. He is the one that gets humiliated in the end for being an ass hat.

  13. Jaws says:

    Ground Control: I think the odd typeface is supposed to be an homage to the slip cover on the single. A pathetic one, but it makes me think that the sequel will be something like Ballots to Ballots: Our Hero has become a (political) junkie, and undermines his HEA from the first book with too many 3 a.m. checks of CNN and Fox News while he’s supposed to be nuzzling the lustlove interest.
    Although based on the photograph, he hasn’t had any difficulty taking his protein pills…

    May the Best Man Win: This guy had better not think of converting to Judaism — he’ll give the mohel a heart attack with those spikes. And really run up the bill obtaining special-purpose tools.

  14. SusanE says:

    Space Additives:
    Maybe you’re supposed to vote for what you think the title says.

    Best Man:
    I think the best man already won and this loser got the pineapple as a consolation prize.

  15. Jean Lamb says:

    Anytime I see a pineapple which is badly used, I flash on the scene in LITTLE NICKY involving Hitler in a maid costume and a refrigerator full of pineapples. Yes, I’m a sick person…

  16. KatydidKaraoke says:

    Is it just me or does Tanner’s hair look dirty af? I do NOT want to run my fingers through it and neither should Megan. It probably smells bad which is why she’s turning her nose down and away from that stinky mess.

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