Hey hey, it’s Cover Snark day!
Amanda: I just imagine his friends: “Hey, bud. You okay? Wanna talk about it?”
Elyse: Is he staring at his own penis and smiling?
Claudia: I think he’s peeing and bothered by the other dudes hovering.
Amanda: He’s pee shy.
Sneezy: They look disconcertingly clone like.
Susan: That guy in the seal cover has the look of “Can’t believe I spilled the ENTIRE bottle of water…”
Shana: Pee-friend on the left looks like he’s daring us to watch. Meanwhile, pee-friend on the right is trying to encourage him, in a tough love way. “Dude, some chafing is normal!”
Catherine: I’m just distracted by the way the sun apparently shines out of the hero’s arse. No wonder he looks so pleased with himself.
From Wendy: When I looked at it, I definitely read: Bound by Fart.
Sarah: Isn’t that one of the Housewives of Some Major Metropolitan Area?
WAIT is the entire franchise of Real Housewives bound together by FART?
Claudia: By faith and farth.
Amanda: Her hair reminds me of those infomercials for the “Bump-It.”
Shana: I didn’t know the Kardashians were from Farth.
From Kris B: That hair.
Sarah: That…might be hair. It might be a mop?
Catherine: She looks like she’s leaning back in preparation for chin-butting him hard in the nose.
Sneezy: The hair certainly looks radioactive.
Amanda: Yeah, everything is glowing: skin, hair, tattoos.
Sneezy: The proportions of the woman’s butt looks very strange to me too. Like it’s too short somehow?
Shana: Is Roxy from Jem and the Holograms about to push that buttress woman off the subway platform?
From Elva: I’m not fond of bushy beards to begin with, but this beard is downright scary to me. Is it moldy? Radioactive? Did he fall asleep with his face in his soup? I’m almost tempted to read the damned book just to find out what happened to his beard.
Sarah: Radioactive Santa?
Tara: My brain spat out “BIKER SANTA!!!”
Amanda: I know his beard is supposed to be salt and pepper but all I see are crumbs.
Elyse: Or he doesn’t know if you swim a lot you need special shampoo to get the chlorine out.
Sneezy: I hope he has a symbiotic relationship with the creature on his face. Although given how salty it looks, that may not be the case.
The Chalice: has a seagull with an upset stomach relieved itself on the man’s head? Also his underwear is slightly disturbing, is it a jockstrap?
My first thought on the Bound by Fart book was definitely “Real Housewives.”
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“Bound by Earth”– terrible hair, and nothing about that cover suggests the character is a hunter or nature person.
Not sure what was in “The Chalice”, but she appears to have blacked out and he is fixated by something on her right shoulder.
Viper’s beard looks disturbingly like verdigris. Copper corrosion should not be in anyone’s hair.
Viper got in the powdered sugar donuts again.
Anyone willing to take a guess at the author’s surname on the “Viper” cover? AUas, maybe?
@Linda to me it looks like Atlas , but what is the first name – Lilly or Tilly?
That is a truly painful font.
I think those Seals are all lined up for the latrine and wishing that first guy would just hurry up.
It’s another lettuce dress! Or maybe kale or spinach because it’s darker. I am also concerned that her nipple and butt have signal lights.
That is the worst job of photoshopping hair I’ve ever seen. It looks like somebody dropped a pot of ramen on his head.
And that is not a beard, it is definitely lichen. (Cue the “climb him like a tree” jokes.) Some reindeer is going to show up and eat his face. @Linda and @Escapologist, I’m pretty sure the last name is Atlas but I don’t know if the first name is Lilly, Tilly or Zilly?
Viper’s beard looks like Spanish moss,which is basically parasitical. Not at all sexy.
The lead from Viper is either Swamp Thing incognito or has blown Swamp Thing incognito and forgotten to clean his beard after.
Why does it look like the Real Housewife only has one leg? You can’t even see the outline of the other one, just more dress. Like they erased it by accident because they were preoccupied with the fabric.
I can’t get over how tiny HIS underwear are in Chalice. It looks like a thong or bikini bottom. It’s literally half the size of hers and hers look way too small. I guess he doesn’t have much to cover up.
Rod Blagojevich and The Thing on Donald Trump’s Head offered to blurb Bound by Farth, but Chalice was too much even for them.
The Viper definitely had milk.
Viper is by Lilly Atlas. I was thinking it was Tilly and had to check – https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08D9LB7R7/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i5
Newer books have better fonts https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MTJPD9V/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i11
Seals of Honor:
Huh. I saw it as “Yup. Still there.”
And what’s with the “Books 01-03”? Is this Military Series Numbering?
Bound by Earth:
Sorry, cover designer, but That Hair does not belong anywhere in close or even distant proximity to the words “Nature” or “Earth”.
The Chalice:
I’m with Sneezy. That butt definitely got photoshopped in from some other woman’s body. I’m also struck by the absolute, utter and entire absence of visible boob–surely a first in the history of this genre of book cover.
Viper:
Dang, lils beat me to it: Amazon says it’s Lilly Atlas. More alarmingly yet, it claims to be book nine (9) of ten (10).
I know his beard is supposed to be salt and pepper but all I see are crumbs.
I see cilantro.
Bound by Earth at the Jersey Shore.
Viper may have mold or lichen growing in that beard.
The Chalice hair is about the shade of hair of Legolas in The Hobbit or of Lucius and Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter.
I did a double-take at the Chalice cover. It’s a lot.
The Chalice cover… woah. Is it just me or does it look like there’s a growth coming out of her forehead?? I’m sure that’s supposed to be a part of a hand, but woah.
Bound By Earth reminds of a Luna imprint cover, they all have vague magical looking covers with lots of glowing stars and lens flare.
Another vote for Bound by Fart – I read that too *lol*…
The correct plural is SEALs. D’oh!
Is the Viper author’s name Zilly, Tilly, or Lilly? Also, is the last name Allas? I’m not liking that font at all!