Well, we’re finally at the end of Tayshia’s “journey” to find true love…
Excuse me…
I am willing to bet my love for the iced coffee I’m drinking is deeper and truer than the love between Tayshia and whoever she ends up with.
Anyway, it’s the last episode of the season. I’m going to recap, then cleanse myself by watching Wonder Woman 1984 and rolling around in my Christmas yarn. I’m pretty sure Rich just handed his debit card to the woman who runs my local yarn store and I have so many pretty things to make…
So Ben has returned after wandering around Palm Springs aimlessly for two weeks.
After complaining to the producers for a moment, Tayshia returns to the couch where Ben is sitting. He tells her again that he loves her. She asks why he didn’t tell her earlier and he said he was scared.
“Of what?” she asks.
Of the ghosts we established are haunting the resort, DUH.
Ben tells her he told his sister, Antonia and Chris Harrison that he was in love.
“So why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.
GOOD QUESTION.
BEN IS VERY BAD AT THIS SHOW.
Then she demands to know if he’s going to run away every time things get tough.
I mean, yes, probably, but he doesn’t go far and you can probably find him by the pool.
She tells him that he can come to the Dreaded Rose Ceremony but adds, “But I’m not going to lie, I’ve already got a lot on my plate.”
Then she kisses him. After he leaves she tells the camera, “I just kissed him! Why did I do that?”
Why does anyone do anything on this show? It’s just a marathon of bad choices and white liquors.
So then Ben shows up at the Dreaded Rose Ceremony, and Ivan and Zac are like WTF.
Tayshia asks to talk to Ivan. They sit down and she says that when they were able to talk alone they basically found out that religion is very important to Tayshia, but Ivan is not religious and therefore it’s not going to work out, I guess.
It feels very random and anticlimactic.
Ivan says he thinks he and Tayshia “made the most sense” and that he thinks she won’t pick anyone at the end of the show.
So then she gives the last two roses to Ben and Zac.
Then it’s time for Ben and Zac to meet Tayshia’s family.
She explains to them how Ben left, but then came back. She says she wants their opinion on him.
Ben, ever awkward, tells Tayshia how sweaty he is. Honestly, I kind of love Ben. He’s just struggling through life, openly and awkwardly. I want a TV show of Ben just working his way through basic life, assembling IKEA furniture, changing a diaper, reading a map.
Overall, Tayshia’s family’s assessment of Ben is “I would give him a chance.”
The next day Zac meets the fam. He doesn’t comment on the state of his perspiration.
Tayshia’s mom asks Zac where he sees them in five years. He says, “I see us happy and married and starting a family.”
Zac and Tayshia’s dad, Desmond, seem to bond.
So the next day someone knocks on Tayshia’s door, and after the Bennett and Ben returns, she just groans, “Uh-uh. You’re kidding me right now.”
Guys, she is DONE.
Turns out to be her dad. He tells her he’s worried because of how badly her divorce hurt her. He says “I don’t want you to make the biggest mistake of your life.” Clearly Desmond isn’t on board with either guy.
Tayshia and Zac have their last date. She’s still shaken by what her dad said and tells the camera, “I can’t decide if I want to get married again.”
Good thing you signed up for a reality dating show that ends in a proposal, then.
For the date they learn to ballroom dance. Tayshia is crabby through the whole thing. She needs a big glass of wine (or three) and probably a nap.
Later that night, Tayshia tells him she’s worried that when things get hard he’ll run away like her ex did. Zac tells her that day is his 9 year sober anniversary, and that his sobriety is the most important thing in his life because it “allows me to not run away.” He says he won’t propose without a lifetime commitment.
“My divorce hurt so bad that I didn’t think I could get engaged again,” she says.
THEN WHY DID YOU GO ON THIS STUPID SHOW. OMG.
The next day or same day or somewhere in the time stream where Cap is returning Infinity Stones, Tayshia says she knows her heart isn’t with Ben.
We get a gratuitous shot of him in the shower, and then Tayshia knocks on his bungalow door.
“I care about you so much,” she says, “but I just feel like my heart is with somebody else.”
Ben says he saw things ending differently, but, “When you love somebody you want them to be happy.”
Tayshia leaves and Ben goes back to wandering Palm Springs aimlessly until Chris Harrison finds him, tranqs him, and puts him in the holding pen for Bachelor in Paradise.
Neil Lane returns so Zac can pick out Tayshia’s ring. We get a super long montage of them each getting ready, then Tayshia meets up with Chris Harrison on a scenic overlook.
She tells Chris that she’s worried it’s too much too soon.
Then she starts crying and says, “I’m just so excited. It’s good. It’s really good.”
…Okay.
Zac arrives and gives a big speech about his love, which I’m not going to transcribe because I don’t care.
He proposes. She accepts. The end.
I’ll be taking a week off and then it’s time for the next season of The Bachelor.
Do you think Tayshia made the right choice?
ETA: And now, the part you’ve been waiting for – the holiday knitting pics!
I don’t really care about the show much, but love the recaps for some reason. Elyse is there any chance we can get a pic of the Christmas yarn haul because it sounds amazing. Your husband is the best.
If ‘best choice from this pool of clueless nitwits’ then possibly yes. Best choice out of all the single men in the world, no.
+1 for documentation of the yarn haul. 🙂
I keep in touch with The Bachelor only through your fabulous recaps (and the food-based ones over at The Takeout). Any plans to review The Bridgertons series too?
You gotta pay the yarn tax, girl. Show that yarn haul!
I’m the same way with books and my husband just handed over his card to our local rare book store and I proceeded to shit a brick because he got my the first edition of my very favorite ingenue novel.
So I feel you, just with books.
No, I don’t care about the show, I’m here for recaps.
Best line:
Tayshia “I can’t decide if I want to get married again.”
Good thing you signed up for a reality dating show that ends in a proposal, then.
Great job on the recaps, Elise! Love the gifs and the snark.
It’s hilarisad whenever someone on this show starts to feel the cold touch of reality where “wow maybe this ISN’T the best way to make a meaningful lasting commitment” and then the sunken cost fallacy and/or deep desire for a relationship kicks in.
She really just took the last one standing, didn’t she? She had serious chemistry with Ivan (at least, based on the pictures), but she looks like an awkward stranger with Zac.
Thank you Elise for making these recaps and suffering through the show to make them! It’s SO appreciated.
I’ve never seen any season of neither The Bachelor or The Bachelorette (I live in the utopian country of Denmark with free health care and no Bachelor programs) but I do enjoy these recaps immensely.
Can’t wait to read your recaps for The Bachelor!
My conspiracy theory is that they actually had her quarantining as the backup host for Chris Harrison, knowing he was going to have to take his son to college, and also as a just in case he got sick, in general. When they realized Claire was likely to Claire (it’s not like girlfriend wasn’t known for making huge life choices on impulse on the franchise at large), they asked her to step in, no pressure, since she knows how the whole thing works, with no requirement she end up with anyone, but great if she does. And then the head trio got to her, and voila, Zac.
Also, they flew between coasts to visit both of their families and to… I don’t know, apparently tour coronavirus hot spots, so they’re both officially awful people.
“and then the sunken cost fallacy and/or deep desire for a relationship kicks in”
Aka threats from the producers.
No, Tayisha did not make the right choice. But then there was no right choice. I can’t understand why any person in their right mind would go on this show and expose themselves this way.
I think after years of this inanity, people would have had enough and would stop watching. I certainly advise Elyse to.
The best thing about her reviews are her snarky comments and the gifs.
I adore reading these reality show recaps! Actually enjoy these bachelorette recaps even more than the show. 🙂
“True love my ass.”
No she did NOT make the right choice, but I sure did when I started hooking up with these rundowns. They’re so much fun!
Out of curiosity, I looked up how many of past contestants are stil together… out of the 43 ET checked for me, 6 were still together – 3 from the Bachelor, and 3 from The Bachelorette. Fun fact: 2 out of the 3 Bachelors are not with the last one standing at the show, but her runner up! Both guys apparently chose one girl, then changed his mind and “reconnected” with the “second place” girl… and that other girl took him back!!! Mind. Blown.
As for the rest there were lots of “broke up a few weeks after the show”. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where Tayshia & Zac end up.
Yep, Big Brother loves to promote that they’ve created more marriages than The Bachelor. (Showmances are a thing on BB, and some of them turn into a lot more than that.)
I’m not the biggest Whitney Cummings devotee by any means, but she hit the nail on the head when she said that if she ran a dating show, she’d just give all the contestants appointments with her therapist instead…
I’ve very much enjoyed your recaps, but at the end, my main thought is…
I want a picture of the pretty Christmas yarn! (I went out before they set another lockdown in my area to buy yarn for a temperature scarf)
Updated with YARN Pics, courtesy of Elyse!
Out of curiosity, is anyone going to do a review of Bridgerton? I love the book series, and Shonda’s shows are typically not my cup of tea. Hence, I have been trying to find a book fan review to set my expectations.
YES! YARN HAUL!!!!!!! So pretty!!!!!
Oooh, the speckled birdie yarn is pretty…