In Ye Olde Inbox, I received the following query from Angela:
My name is Angela and I’m a huge fan of this blog! I’ve been reading you for 7+ years.
I have a random question – I’m getting married [soon] in a non-denominational ceremony and I’d love to do a reading from a romance novel. Do you have any recommendations?
My current favorite one is Ilona Andrews’ Magic Binds, when Roman does the ceremony for Kate and Curran, but I wish it was a little longer.
Would love to tap into the bitches expertise!! Any recommendations you give would be helpful.
I feel like I should have some kind of audio signal for this kind of request. Any suggestions for a reading from a romance that would work for a wedding? Please drop your ideas in the comments?
And mazel tov, Angela! We wish you the happiest of ever afters.
First of all: congratulation to you, Angela, and your future spouse. May your marriage be a long and happy one. But now I’m afraid I’m going to have to be “that person” (and a bit of a “Debbie Downer”) and ask if there would be any legal implications in using passages that are presumably under the author’s copyright in a wedding ceremony? I realize that a wedding is not a for-profit venture, but I’m assuming the ceremony will be recorded and shared on social media. Perhaps one of the lawyers in the Bitchery could address this. (And I do apologize if this is a totally unnecessary can of worms for me to have popped open.)
Meanwhile, it’s interesting but as I thought about Angela’s request, I realized that in many of the romances I read the actual wedding ceremony is tucked away in an epilogue or, in MOC/arranged-marriage plots, is quickly glossed over. I think Angela might find some potentially ceremony-worthy passages in grovel scenes because that’s usually where the hero/heroine catalogs all the wonderful things about their significant other and why they love them so much.
I suspect the easiest way to deal with the copyright issue is to email the author and ask permission or to limit the search to older works that are no longer under copyright (say, Jane Austen).
As an attorney, it’s probably Fair Use. Poems, readings and other copyrighted works and copyrighted songs are read and performed thousands of times a day in weddings and funerals with no problems. I wouldn’t worry about it.
@HeatherT: Thank you for the clarification. I apologize to Angela for opening up an unnecessary can of worms. Consider it sealed back up.
Not from a romance novel, but Neil Gaiman wrote a poem for his friends’ wedding & graciously (& happily!) allows readers to use it for their own ceremonies: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2017/10/wedding-thoughts-all-i-know-about-love.html
Two friends used the meeting and gentle romance of Eowyn and Faramir in the Houses of Healing from “The Return of the King” in their wedding, and it was lovely.
We used language from a wedding scene in Sharon Shinn’s Dark Moon Defender (one of her Twelve Houses books). It starts on page 386. I love the ceremony she created because it includes everyone at the wedding in the commitment and the vows, and when it came time for us to craft our ceremony I knew I wanted to include some of what she’d done:
“Have you brought friends who will act as witnesses to your wedding? Who will counsel you when you quarrel, rejoice when you celebrate, and comfort you when you grieve? … Let all of you be bound together in fellowship in recognition of this compact. For a marriage is a living thing and must be tended. You who bear witness bear also the responsibility for reminding this man and this woman that marriage is not a step to be undertaken lightly. Remind them to seek reconciliation when they are far apart, to sue for tenderness when they are tempted to be unkind, and to cherish each other no matter what trials or troubles the outside world affords.”
Using the words of Captain Wentworth or Mr. Darcy are so beautiful and appropriate.
How Do I Love Thee (Sonnet 43) from Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Even snippets of poems from Donne or Byron can be appropriate.
I’ve got a soft spot for this passage from the princess bride
“I love you so much more now than twenty minutes ago that there cannot be comparison. I love you so much more now then when you opened your hovel door, there cannot be comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch. Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. ”
I actually read at a wedding from Sharon Shinn’s (agree with the awesomeness of her ceremonies in some books) Summers at Castle Auburn. Not from a character wedding, but from the proposal at the end (spoliation, sorry) and it’s discussion on wedding a man first and the king second and deciding whether you love him instead of whether you want to be queen. Love those pages and love this (YA fantasy) book!
We used a quote from “Room with a View” by E.M. Forster. Can’t find the exact quote, but there are some lovely choices.
My current favorite one is Ilona Andrews’ Magic Binds, when Roman does the ceremony for Kate and Curran, but I wish it was a little longer.
You could ask them if they had to clip any material out of it for length…
Not sure if this would work, but one of my favorite quotes is from the second Outlander book, where Jamie is sending Claire back through the stones.
““I will find you,” he whispered in my ear.
“I promise. If I must endure two hundred years of purgatory, two hundred years without you – then that is my punishment, which I have earned for my crimes. For I have lied, and killed, and stolen; betrayed and broken trust. But there is the one thing that shall lie in the balance. When I shall stand before God, I shall have one thing to say, to weigh against the rest.”
His voice dropped, nearly to a whisper, and his arms tightened around me.
Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God! I loved her well.”
THere was something truly beautiful in this book I read called “Until the Sun falls from the Sky” by Kristen Ashley. It sounds strange but believe it or not it was a paranormal and the couple (one of whom is a vampire) make these vows to each other and it was something along the lines of ” I will love you until the sun falls from the sky….”thatis all I remember, BUT i remember being so moved by the vows.
If you don’t want a spoiler for The Blue Castle, skip this!!
I read this quote from it and ended up buying the book, which is amazing, and it’s not so much a wedding scene as a declaration of love.
https://laurenwillig.com/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day-6/ https://tracygrant.wordpress.com/2009/02/07/declarations-resolutions-other-heart-stopping-moments/
“Love you! Girl, you’re in the very core of my heart. I hold you there like a jewel. Didn’t I promise you I’d never tell you a lie? Love you! I love you with all there is of me to love. Heart, soul, brain. Every fibre of body and spirit thrilling to the sweetness of you. There’s nobody in the world for me but you, Valency.”
Also, not helpful at all, but a scene from one of my favorite movies: https://mobile.twitter.com/sergiofordy/status/825498812273815553
Less romantic, but more of a call for a good life and home together. We used Puck’s and Titania’s blessings from the end of ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream.’
Now are frolic. Not a mouse
Shall disturb this hallowed house.
I am sent with broom before
To sweep the dust behind the door.
First, rehearse your song by rote,
To each word a warbling note.
Hand in hand with fairy grace
Will we sing and bless this place.
Karen Marie Moning’s binding vow for her druids (the highlander books) are often used in weddings.
If aught must be lost, ‘twill be my honor for yours. If one must be forsaken, ‘twill be my soul for yours. Should death come anon, ‘twill be my life for yours. I am Given.
The above is the result from a quick google so if you like this pls check the books to make sure it’s complete.
@hng23 I love that! We used this Neil Gaiman poem as a wedding reading: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2006/08/post-wedding-post.html
Hi! It’s me, Angela. Thank you SO MUCH for such thoughtful responses (and glad the legal issue got cleared up, want to respect all the hard work that goes into publication).
Oh man so many amazing responses, I can’t wait to dig through all of them! Some of these are so beautiful and now it’s the hard decision to pick one.
What about the lyrics to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.
On one of the podcast episodes the guest read a poem that she had written for a friends wedding ceremony. I unfortunately cannot remember the name of the guest or specific details of the poem. But I remember thinking, “this is beautiful and heartwarming and really encapsulates this genre I love!”
Maybe another listener will remember the details
“Do you promise to live together in contentment with the past, happiness in the present, and hope for the future?”
That is a line from Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer (2007). The wedding ceremony itself wouldn’t work but I love that line. I have a calligraphy version for framing that says “Contentment with the past / Happiness in the present / Hope for the future”.
someone mentioned fair use, and I found this great article: https://www.janefriedman.com/sample-permission-letter/