This week is Hometowns, the episode where Hannah travels to the hometowns of Luke, Tyler C, Jed, and Peter in order to meet their families. This is always the worst episode of the season for me because the contestants drag their families into this nonsense and it’s always awkward as hell.
We start off in Westlake Village, CA, which is Peter’s hometown. Peter picks her up in his car, which is refers to as his “baby.” As they drive Hannah immediately starts going through his center console and pulls out a condom. Peter looks embarrassed. Then they pull into an airport and he takes her flying.
After they go to Peter’s parents’ house and have dinner. Privately, Peter tells his mom that he’s in love with Hannah, but hasn’t told her yet. Both Peter’s parents cry because they’re so happy he’s in love. Before she leaves, Peter tells Hannah he’s in love with her.
Next up we go to Tyler’s hometown of Jupiter, FL. They go out on a boat ride and spend some time making out in the water. Tyler shows her the house he grew up in and tells her that his family lost it in the Recession, and that times were really hard for them.
Later Hannah meets Tyler’s parents and some of his other family members. If you remember, Tyler’s dad was in a coma and was very sick. He’s recovering now, but one of his vocal chords is paralyzed from being intubated and he has difficulty talking.
When they’re alone, Tyler’s dad tells him he’s still slowly recovering. He also says he hasn’t seen Tyler this happy in a long time.
Tyler’s brothers tell Hannah how Tyler stepped up and held the family together as well as ran the family business during their father’s hospitalization.
Before Hannah leaves, she and Tyler make out for awhile.
Luke’s hometown of Gainesville, GA, is next on the list. Hannah says Luke is “definitely complex” and she wants to know why he is the way he is. For their date, Luke takes Hannah to teach Sunday school with him. I was picturing little kids, but it looks more like a youth group made up of high schoolers.
For the record, as a child I got kicked out of Sunday school for “asking too many questions.”
Anyway, Luke tells the story (again) about how he was all about sex and drinking in college, and then he was taking a shower and he saw God. Maybe that’s why Colton was always showering. I assumed it was a masturbation thing, but maybe he was looking for spiritual advisement.
The group prays for Hannah and Luke by huddling around them while they kneel and touching them. If you’re curious, Google tells me that Luke is a Southern Baptist.
Then Hannah meets Luke’s family. Almost immediately she sort of purges, telling his family about how troubled their relationship was, how everyone in the house hates Luke, and how he can’t be genuine with her.
“Thank you for putting up with him,” says Luke’s sister.
Luke’s dad, Mike, pulls him aside and advises him to “thank the Lord, number one, because her heart is softened to you and that’s a gift.” Luke tells his dad he can’t foresee a future where he’s not with her at the end.
Luke’s entire family tells Hannah that she hasn’t met the “real” Luke, and that he’s a humble, gentle guy.
When they’re alone, Luke tells Hannah that he’s sorry for what he put her through. Hannah admits she’s falling in love with Luke.
The final hometown is with Jed in Knoxville, TN. They go to a music studio where they write a song together. Then they meet Jed’s family, and his mom, Gina, makes a toast to “trusting your intuition,” and I wasn’t sure if she was being passive aggressive or not.
Then mom talks to Hannah alone, and, yeah, it was passive aggressive.
“I know Jed’s just another guy,” Gina says.
“But he’s not,” says Hannah.
“You are The Bachelorette,” replies Gina in this super fake-nice voice. “And he’s one of the guys, so…”
Hannah says, “I know with us it’s more than that.”
“Oh. Yeah?” Gina asks.
“I’ve told your son I’m falling in love with him,” Hannah says.
“And I’m like, do you say that to all of them?” Gina asks.
SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
Both Jed’s mom and his sister say he’s not ready for marriage. His sister says she’s worried this will hurt Jed’s music career. Everyone is obviously super uncomfortable and unhappy. I felt terrible for Hannah.
As they walk to the car Jed says, “Everything worked out so good,” and I’m wondering if he’s oblivious to his mom and sister sitting there glaring at Hannah.
So then we get to The Dreaded Rose Ceremony.
The first rose goes to Peter. The second rose goes to Tyler.
Luke and Jed shuffle nervously. There is one rose left on the table. Chris Harrison materializes from the ether to let us know it’s time for him to feast.
Hannah holds the last rose and looks like she’s freaking out. She walks away for a moment, tearing up. Chris Harrison, his evil thirst unslaked, appears. She tells Chris she’s not willing to let either Luke or Jed go yet.
Hannah goes back into the room of sacrifice. She apologizes to the guys and says she can’t give out a final rose. Chris comes back into the room with –GASP– ANOTHER ROSE.
Both Luke and Jed get a rose. Jed is upset, feeling like he should have been a clear choice over Luke. “It feels like it was hard for her to choose between me and a guy who’s been a total scumbag through this entire process,” he says.
And that’s where the episode ends. Next week is Fantasy Suites, and I assume, will contain fucking in a windmill.
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Thank you for doing these recaps! I can’t actually watch but I look forward to your recaps with tremendous anticipation.
I came home from Sunday school when I was five or six and announced I wasn’t going back because they wouldn’t *answer* any of my too-many questions, so high five of solidarity.
At this point, I hope Hannah ends up with Luke. If she insists on being that willfully oblivious (she HAS called him out occasionally as if she recognizes he’s a creep… before choosing to completely let him off the hook), keeping the creep away from other women for a while seems like a fair penance.
I too got kicked out of Sunday School because apparently you can’t argue if there is only Adam and Eve then aren’t all kids born to them sleeping with each other because how do all the other people get made? It was quite a long conversation. Also fuck Luke.
I’m with Jed — I just don’t understand why on earth anyone would keep Luke around even for drama. He’s such an abusive douchebag. I was sort of hoping they would get RID of Luke and Jed instead of giving them both roses. Pffft.
I am Jed’s mom!! Read the room Hannah
I am totally bragging here. I had the best Sunday School and VBS teachers. There was no such thing as too many questions. Classes would hold longer so that everybody’s questions could be answered. They were also firm believers in having us look stuff up and answer our own and each others’ questions. When there weren’t many questions, out teachers would be disappointed and let us know that God values curiosity.
Wait, Jed’s mom reads Elyses’s recaps? Interesting. Honestly, it can’t be easy watching your son on a dating show.. I can only imagine what I would be drinking and the commentary I would be streaming if it were one of my children. I sincerely hope that Jed finds his best loving and mutually respectful partner, now or in the future. I was going to ask why Hannah is so oblivious to what apparently everyone blatantly sees in Luke, but decided already it must either be strong physical attraction, immaturity, attraction to a bad boy vibe, or..I’m back to young and missing important personality flaws. My advice? Run, Jed, run.
At this point Hanna needs to pick Luke and be done, so we’re not saddled with that ass-cactus as the next Batchelor. Because ABC is really that big of a troll. Please Hanna, you already want to bang this guy, just take on the project of housebreaking Luke from his toxic behavior. Then a year later, you can quietly leave him and write a tell all. I recommend “The Evil in the Abs” as a title.
All I will say is that the fact that Luke is a Southern Baptist explains ALL of his behavior.
Meanwhile Jed has shown a lot of sense, maturity and consideration on this show. And I can’t see how all this publicity can honestly HURT his career. Whatever happens he will come out of this a winner just for the attention and his sensible, cooperative personality.
Oh my God, they let Luke mentor teens? That’s a terrible idea! Those poor kids….
Luke is such a red flag parade I just can not! It’s so frustrating reading these recaps and hating that this narrative isn’t being challenged – that ABC is presenting this awful possessive behaviour as romantic. And his family??? Girl GET OUT!!! GET OOOOUUUUT! That family is enabling his behaviour!!!!
And like EC Spurlock, I got to the “southern baptist” detail and was like “oooohhhhh that explains so much.”
Not only did I ask too much questions I argued too much with my CCD teachers. I’m forever grateful my mum decided Catholic School wasn’t for me when the first grade CCD teacher argued evolution was a myth and dinosaurs were a lie with me, a 6 year old die hard dinosaur fan. Let’s just say I won that argument.
Gainesville, GA. southern Baptist. OMG no wonder.
Just for the record, I lived in Georgia for 22 years. I knew some genuine southern gentlemen. None of them were southern Baptists.
I’m still shaking my head at Luke. Surely, ABC has read recap comments from other bloggers…oh wait, they have. That’s why Luke is still on the show. My favorite (through your recaps is Peter or Tyler).
I live in Texas and trust me, Luke wouldn’t be able to get near teenagers in my tiny town. Especially at our Baptist churches.
Again, I believe that he is still there for shock value and ratings. Hannah can be an airhead but if the decision was totally up to her…he would have been gone. Just my opinion.
Marika
Elyse said from the start that Hannah was desperately horny for Luke, and desperate horniness is all but guaranteed to make you do stupid things even if you’re not being gaslighted (and especially if you’re as young as she is). She’s got to be keeping him around because she wants to get some of that. If the show let you bang before fantasy suites, she’d probably have hit that already, and maybe then the lust goggles would have come off and she’d have sent him home.
I’m deeply uncomfortable with the “well she’s keeping him around so she deserves him at this point” argument. It’s way too close to victim-blaming for me. I have a long history of being gaslighted, starting with my parents, and I can say from experience that it twists up your mind so badly that even when you’re pretty damn sure something is wrong, it’s hard to step back to untwist it again. If you’ve never been gaslighted yourself, you have no idea how effective it is, and an already unnatural and psychologically intense situation like this, with all the pressure and the drama and what have you, has to be exacerbating that. It’s not her fault.
I don’t want Luke winning anything because that would be the ultimate validating this creepy, shitty narrative. Please Hannah, let him go after the inevitably-Fantasy Suites fiasco. Please ABC, dump his toxic ass as well.
Jed is upset, feeling like he should have been a clear choice over Luke. “It feels like it was hard for her to choose between me and a guy who’s been a total scumbag through this entire process,” he says.
Hey, Jed. Psst. That’s your inner voice making sense and telling you to run for the hills.
And I would say to Hannah, I’m Christian myself, but I make it point to NEVER surround myself with Christians like Luke. (And his dad from the sounds.) You need to run for those hills, too, girl.
Red flags. Red flags everywhere.
I give,up on this girl! Is she masocistic or just dopey? She should have torn up the 3rd rose and sent them both home.
Weird. I thought the creepy guy was from Gainesville, Virginia. Since my friends live in NOVA and all of their local Gainesville news has been about that guy Luke and how the locals are “cheering him” on.
In any event, run away Hannah and demand an entire new set!
@Siren’s Song They had GA listed on screen but it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve majorly messed up. They once listed a contestant as from AK (Alaska) not AR (Arkansas)