Buckle in for some Cover Snark!
Amanda: Neither party looks thrilled about this sextuplet surprise.
Carrie: Every single thing about this cover hurts me.
Tara: I refuse to believe anyone pregnant with sextuplets would have the energy to put on that much makeup. I couldnât be bothered when I was pregnant and I had singletons.
Maya: Sheâs got a classic who farted face on and I guess there are a lot of people to choose from?
Elyse: To be fair, Iâd be pretty upset about surprise sextuplets too.
Shana: Iâm concerned about the green stuff smushed between them. Is it a boutonniĂšre made of larvae?
Amanda: That is a long torso.
Carrie: It is. Is he a shapeshifter in mid-shift? Is he Plastic Man? Otherwise I sure love that shade of purple. It’s just one elongated torso away from Cover Awe.
Sarah: His navel is missing. Right? They photoshopped out his belly button?
Omg is he a Regency Alien??!!
Amanda: Kyle XY, Historical Edition.
Tara: I want to know how far down those abs go. Like, is it just abs all the way down?
Sneezy: Oh god, itâs all clear now! Heâs a human centipede! Run girl, RUN!!!
Elyse: WHY
Sarah: Knees?
Amanda: She HAS to be sitting on something because thereâs no way she can sustain that position.
Elyse: That would have to be a really tiny stool and she ainât got pants on.
Sarah: She has a tail. It is prehensile. She is going to lovingly strangle him in a moment, maybe.
Carrie: There are 28 limbs in this picture!
Tara: She looks like sheâs mid climb. But where to?
Maya: Itâs a variation of that moment in Chewing Gum when Tracey sits on Connerâs face while still being fully dressed!
Claudia: Are they getting ready to play chicken fight? If so, whereâs the pool?
Sheikh: why is his face smushed up against her forehead like that? Thereâs sexy proximity and then thereâs âIs this really how the Super Glue challenge works?â
28 Dates: That hairy kneeâat THAT angleâis taking the magic right out of things for me.
“Marquess” – Love the purple. Is the hero some kind of naga/snake person? Because that torso just goes on too long.
“28 Dates” – I’m disturbed by the position of his right hand. If I’ve got someone’s leg draped in that direction over my shoulder – a position I have never, & please god, will never – be in, I’m probably going to be holding said leg, not passively resting my hand on my own chest, under the leg. It would also help the poor woman maintain her balance – & let’s face it, if she falls, he’s getting smacked in the face with that foot.
@ Deianira – I think she had just stuck her heel into his gut and he is smiling on the outside and grimacing on the inside. His right forearm looks a little short, too.
For the Caroline Linden cover, I was wondering if the heroine was wearing a really, really, really full skirt. Or are those matching purple sheets? The little minx. (That shade of purple is gorgeous.) I think the hero has a regular size torso, just no belly button! Or it was handily sewn up by Photo Shop.
The portrait of the Sheikh and his lady had to be taken before the sextuplet surprise. They both look too rested and put together.
The Sheikh must’ve hired a bunch of nannies to take care of the babies, it’s fine.
All of these were A+
That sextuplet sheikh guy has one of those cheap bowties that clip at the back, not a proper one that unties so that it can hang sexily round his neck at the end of the night. That one you stuff in a pocket and hope nobody notices. He’s a cheap sheikh.
@Empress of Blandings, and it’s made from that cheap tissue thin taffeta wannabe fabric. Cheap sheikh indeed.
The Sextuplet Sheik book: The heroine has a total ‘Ugh! This guy” Face.
The Marquis Book: Hey, I know man abs is a thing in romance novel covers. But there is something a little off when he is naked and she is wearing enough fabric to cover her, him, the bed, that sheik, his unhappy baby mama and all their sextuplets too.
The 28 dates book: You shouldn’t need to do math to figure out how many limbs are divided between two people. But, otoh, it looks like a completely awesome game of 3D naked twister.
RE: Purple Book: So, are the sheets made out of her dress, or is her dress made out of the sheets?
Poor Caroline Linden continues to get the worst covers. One of the worst covers of all time is her One Night in London.
I accidentally clicked through on the Sheikh book, andnow my Amazon suggestions look like this:
I accidentally clicked through on the Sheikh book, andnow my Amazon suggestions look like this:
First book – She looks like she just broke the 4th wall to let audience know she has selected her meal for the evening…isn’t he handsome? She’s just all kinds of wrong.
Second book – The young hero looks like he celebrated getting his driver’s license by having his malformed belly button removed. How old is that model?
Third book – Tina’s comment about naked twister echoed my thought of a drinking gaming involving “who’s limb is this?”
Comment fail đ Should have noticed no image tags in the permitted html!
Sheiks, sheiks as far as the eye can see, all with multiple births”
@Emily A: I call the One Night cover the “Wait, don’t take the picture yet, I have this awful itch …” book.
okay I went to read the copy for the Sextuplet Surprise and its a whole series. Book 1: Twin Surprise, Book 2: Triplet Surprise…you can fill in the blanks. then it seems to move onto Princes and Tycoons….
I am always amazed and I don’t know why that there really is a book for every possible plot catnip….
28 Dates:
Is it just me or … does the angle of his knee irresistibly pull the eye down and into the darkest area of the picture to wonder whatâs hiding there?
… Itâs just me, isnât it.
@Shem
Book 1: Twin Surprise, Book 2: Triplet SurpriseâŠ
I am reminded of the montage of newspaper headlines at the end of Miracle of Morganâs Creek: âCanada Demands Recount!â
I’ll confess I think the sheikh is actually really good-looking and I don’t care about his bow tie. His sextuplet baby mama however with the Instagram eyebrows and the bobbed nose and the collagen lips and enough makeup for a 1980s music video, ugh.
That gymnastic cover tho. That is very naked and uncomfortable-looking. Their expressions are pretty good but the position is very Why.
@Louise, no it’s not just you.
The Sheik: Honey, I’m sorry. I just farted.
She: (breaking the fourth wall) You see. This is what I have to live with.
The Marquess is a. very young and b. possessing the world’s shallowest belly button.
And I agree with Elyse about 28 Dates. Why?
Thank you for the laugh. I was feeling bummed about something and your sextuplet comments made me laugh out loud.
I’m trying to imagine having enough energy to date around after having six infants puking and peeing on me all day. Oh Romance.
@Mina Kelly: I gotta say, the sheikh who’s expecting quintuplets definitely does not look interested in the woman carrying them. I don’t even mean “indifferent to her presence”, I mean “actively resenting her attempts to woo him”.
Wait, is it supposed to be the same sheikh for every set of multiple births?? ‘Cause in that case, I can understand why he’d be a little wary of his grande passion after, oh, say, the quadruplets. My question is why she isn’t.
“Omg is he a Regency Alien??!!”
Can someone write this story please? Because I would read it.
sextuplets a surprise? unlikely to happen without a fertility specialist involvement.
@TMary: I also wondered but I clicked into a number of the other books to check and its 6 different couples…thank goodness. Because I too was like “But…but…wha?”
FWIW, I was at the cover shoot for my book (Marquess) and all I can say is, his abs are spectacular and they are real–and you can see them alllll the way down in this photo. Like, another millimeter lower for that sheet and it wouldn’t be his abs under discussion.
The model’s name is Guy Macchia and if you spend any time on his Instagram…. you’ll see. There is not one trace of fat on him, not even for a belly button fold. I don’t think they retouched him at ALL.
@ Caroline Linden
Just one of the perks of the job, eh?