The caption contest is back and just in time for some late summer reading!
Why are we bewaring the rich man? Is it because he’s about to ruin this woman’s perfectly good and probably expensive dress?
Here are the rules for captioning that cover:
Comment below with your caption! Caption that cover however you wish! You can come up with a new title or tagline. A winner will be randomly selected at the end of the contest!
The best captioner will receive a $10 bookstore credit to a book retailer of their choosing.
Standard disclaimers apply: We are not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents where permitted by applicable law. Must be over 18. Be sure you have fresh batteries in your fire alarms. And remember, only you can prevent dress fires! Comments will close Friday July 19, 2019 around noon ET, and a winner will be announced shortly thereafter.
Best of luck!
Winner update: Congratulations to Ash Dylan with the winning caption:
The safe word is candlestick.
The reason for the safe word is candlestick.
The reason the safe word will be said is candlestick.
“It was Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick!”
He’s fired her heart, he’s fired her imagination. Now he’ s going for the dress.
“But, dearest, you asked me to set you aflame with passion.”
“All the better to see you with, my dear”
She couldn’t look away from the candles…Why didn’t the flames point upwards? What else was pointing in strange directions?
“Dude, if you’re so rich, why can’t you afford to pay someone to iron your shirts?”
The safe word is candlestick.
The reason for the safe word is candlestick.
The reason the safe word will be said is candlestick.
Can’t beat the funny, so going boring:
“Soon to be a major motion picture starring Anna Kendrick and Chad Michael Murray “
Delphine sighed in relief as her smoke familiar rose up out of the candle. Soon she could stop flirting with this patchy-bearded pretender and get back to her real life.
“Oh Lumiere, Ive been burnt by you before!”
Beware the Garlic Breath.
Dude, you need to brush.
The physicist in her can’t look away from the oddly burning flames while the realist in her tells her to step away from the rich man.
A romance novel rendition of Karl Marx’s Capital, forward by Eric Hobsbawm.
Beware the Rich Man….for he is not well versed in fire safety.
Anna Kendrick stars in Beauty & The Candlestick Maker, part of a new fairy tale/nursery rhyme crossover movie series! Thrill as she teaches the wealthy yet reclusive Candlestick Maker about fire safety…and melts his cold heart. Coming soon: Cinderella & The Baker and Rapunzel & The Butcher.
So many rules of fire safety… and this duke or prince or minor robber baron is going to break THEM ALL.
“He’ll do anything for love…but she won’t do that,not without a flashlight!”
Sadly, in spite of the outstanding historical authenticity of Masterpiece Theatre’s production of Ms Landon’s magnus opus, the use of LED candles with otherwise accurate period costuming completely undermined the revered series’ credibility. On the other hand, no humans were harmed in the making of this video.
He’ll make you burn for him…literally.
I don’t WANT you to set my world on fire.
…being rich is a bitch when you’re lit on fire like pitch…
Did you eat the last Oreo?? Tell me Damn You!! Mumbling “no”. Yes you did I can smell it on you!!
Umm…how about no, Scott.
Even when in human form, the were-candle Lumiere couldn’t hide his burning passion.
Burn and Melt for You
“This is one rich man who’s feeling the bern.”
…cause if he catches you fooling around with a guy who can’t even afford a waistcoat he’s going to call the wedding off.
The following content might be disturbing for some. Proceed with caution.
IRL this cover is very troubling and downright triggery for me. All I think about is how can she get out of there safely. Shudder.
The Banker and the Borrower
She’d got into his cologne again… AND taken the last starched neckcloth…and just possibly, the services of his valet…
Every breathe she took, every move she made William was watching her. Waiting. Now that he’s found her, Henrietta must fight her way free.
She couldn’t help noticing the shirt he was taking pains to illuminate and wondering if he really was a rich man
“Eh, I know we’re trying to be inspired by Broadway, but this takeoff Phantom of Capital One Bank just…just…doesn’t set me in fire, you know?”