We’ve got a lot of pets here at Bitchery HQ, and we call our pets a lot of things.
For example, Amanda adopted Linus, the senior executive of floof, in August of 2017. She found him on the MSPCA Instagram, where he was referred to as a “stunning, huge gentleman:”
Story checks out.
Just over a year is plenty of time for nicknames! Among them:
- My sweet boy
- Fluff son
- My precious boy
- Little sweet potato
- My little toasted marshmallow
- Fluff butt
- Bud
She also has two songs about him. As you do. And, Amanda is happy to report that when she adopted Linus, “He was 9 and a quarter and the shelter’s vet wrote “grossly obese” on his records. Now he’s almost 11, down three pounds, and doing fantastic! When I adopted him, I was warned that he might need to get his teeth removed because of some issues. When he had his dental day last summer, I was happy to receive a call that he gets to keep his teeth! He just had a lot of plaque build up.”
Elyse has Dewey and Fisher, and, well, get ready.
Elyse: “We got Dewey in January of 2014 from our local Humane Society. He’s:
- Dewey MacDewerson
- Deward Morris (my mom went to school with a kid with that name so it’s an inside joke)
- My big boy
- My honey bunny baby boy.
Elyse: “Fisher came to us last year from Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary last March. He was found in a fishing shanty after trying to eat a fish hook.” So his name IS a nickname.
- Fisher also goes by: Fishy-Fish, Small fry, and Little Fuzz. He is also, on occasion, Mr. Poopy Britches.
Carrie has nicknames, of course: “I have 3 cats and one dog. The dog, named Lucy, is about 15 pounds and only gets a nickname when she barks at the UPS person. At these times she’s known as “Fang,” “Cujo,” “Killer,” or “Oh, for the Love of Jesus Please Shut Up.”
Here are all three cats, “all forbidden to go outside, trying to make a break for it. Magic is the tall one, Starlight is looking down, and Toothless is sticking a paw out the door.”
“The two shorthair cats, Starlight and Magic, don’t have nicknames. However, very fluffy Toothless, named for her eerie resemblance to Toothless the dragon, often goes by ‘squeaker’ (she squeaks a lot), Squeak Toy, Flufferface, and Floofy.”
As for me, I have two dogs, Buzz (the Anxious) (that’s his formal title used on all his correspondence) and Zeb, and two cats, Wilbur and Orville. I haven’t named any of them, as they were rescues. But that didn’t stop us from coming up with a slew of nicknames for all four.
- Wilbur: Wilbs, Wilbeezer, the Beezer, Wilbus Dumbledore, Willibur, small cat, Willibus, Sir Wilbus.
- Orville: Orvillius, The Ville, Oro de Ville, The Poopsmith (he had megacolon so his solid waste production is subject of much attention in our house) Big Kitty, Heckin’ Chonker, Big Chungus.
Collectively, the two are known as “the Woogus” or “the Wooguses.”
Wilbur is not impressed.
As for the dogs, there are a lot of names.
- Zeb: Z, The Zeeb, Piglet, Zooble, Zeebie, The Z, Zeb-ity-do-dah, Justin Zeeber, and, shortly after that picture was taken, his name was temporarily, “Oh, dear God, what did you just roll around in?!”
- Buzz: The Buzzle, The Beebs, Fuzzball (his original name when he was in the shelter) Fuzz Buzz, Buzzy, Belly Buzz (as above, where he demands belly rubs the minute I walk in the door)
Freebird, my older son, would like to insist that Buzz’s newest nickname is “Bo-bo,” but Adam is not on board with this nickname. Freebird: “We all call him Bo-bo anyway.” Buzz himself is fine with it, so long as there are belly rubs and treats.
Ok, silliness time: what are your pet nicknames? We want to hear all the ridiculous, punny, silly, and adorable names you call your pets. And if you want to share pictures, that’s cool, too!
We recently lost our 14yr old ginger boy. His name was Simba and he was also known as Little Man, Gingernotsoninja, Simba Bimba, The Cat.
We also have a border Collie named Kya, her nicknames are Puppy Girl and Madame. Our pit x border is named Brodie and he gets Brodie Boy, Brodes and Baby Boy.
I love this post!
We have eight pets right now, though four are chickens (aka Pets With Benefits, aka Angela Merkel, Hawk and the Twins) and one is a snake that I don’t go near, so I’ll stick with the mammals:
Eldest is a mutt names Elsa (after the Lioness, not the princess), aka Ellie, Ellie Belly, Baby, Big Girl
Middle is a rescued Walker Hound who came with a name we hated (Rocko) but we never could agree on a name so he’s called Little Dog, somewhat officially, or Small Dog, or more scatalogically, Turd Bucket.
Youngest is the little cat that came from under a dumpster. He came with the name Newton but we never call him that. My husband, who hated cats until him, calls him “Kitty Kitty Kitty”. I just call him Kit.
We had our 9-yr-old and twin 7-yr-old nephews for three months last summer. They and my neighbor’s 8-yr-old son all decided they wanted a pet for the summer; their choices ranged from a dog, a cat, a bear, the ugliest toad you ever saw in your life, to a snake or a rat. We settled on a betta fish.
Seventy dollars later ($4 fish, plus special tank with light, special betta food, and many choices of rocks and various tank decor choices), the debate for a name raged on. 9-yr-old: Champion Arbiter (!) Merlinius Magicus Magistratus (again !); one twin: Sir Rhys (NOT Reese!) Dragonsbane WarriorFish; other twin: Princess Pinky Purple Peacock; neighbor kid: Professor Calculus Roadkiller Ultimate.
We settled on: Saturday, named in honor of the date of purchase. Saturday, and all his belongings, now resides happily with a family of 5 further down the block. Visiting rights will be granted when the nephews arrive at the end May.
Truffles, age 18, is never ever called by his formal name. (Obligatory explanation: Truffles is a Snowshoe, one of the Siamese family of markings. When he first showed up at my house, before his Trip To The Vet, a cat-loving neighbor dubbed him Chocolate Balls.) He is either abbreviated to Truff, or expanded to Truffleupagus or, er, still longer variants that I decline to commit to paper. The neighbor who first names him always calls him Truffy.
Greebo, age almost-4, has little in common with his namesake. Among other things, the literary Greebo would never answer to Greebsy, Greebsy-poo, Greebsy-weebsy and similar diminutives.
Each cat has his own song. Greebo’s is sung to the tune of “Go ye heroes” from The Pirates of Penzance: Greebsy-beebsy, eebsy-weebsy, et cetera. Truff’s is to the tune of “O dainty triolet” from Princess Ida: Truff uff uff LUFF luff luff, et cetera. When necessary, the purring song (Purr purr purr PURR purr purr, et cetera) can be sung to the same melody.
Bonus trivia: In the last “Summer Reading” column Molly Ivins ever wrote, her recommended picture book was A Day in the Life of Murphy by I forget which of the Provensons. The book begins something like “My name is Murphy Stop That”.
I have 2 law school kritter krats.
Elphaba is my 12yr old eldar cat. I adopted her about 11 years ago from Austin Pets Alive (it went by a different name at the time, but it’s still the same place). She’s a domestic short-hair that’s black w/ a white belly. Her full name when she’s being majestic is “Elphaba the Fuzzy Heart of Darkness and Queen of Laplandia” otherwise she’s been known as: ‘Faba-baba, Bean Girl, Punkin, Poodle-pop, Doodle-bug, Lil Miss Girl Ma’am, and many many more names that she completely ignores anyway.
Then we have Gus, my 11yr old boy cat. He’s a lynx-point Siamese who turned up on my back porch about 10 years ago. Funnily enough, about 2-3 months prior I had told someone that I wanted my next cat to be a Siamese, so I think our relationship was kismet. He’s sometimes known as “The Amazing Wonder Gus.” But I also call him: My Gus Bus Boy, Mr. Man Cat, Stinker Pot Pants Boy (it’s a hand-me-down endearment from my folks), Mr. Bonk Bonk Head (another one from the folks), Cuddle Boy (he went from being kinda stand-offish cuddler to demanding I snuggle with him every night. And he will throw a tantrum around the house if I’m not ready for the ritual of bedtime when he is.
Senor Floofypants
Mr Pantaloons
Spanky
Bory-Wory (his name is Boris)
Slick
and Pampy
My late grey and white tabby cat had the first and middle name thing. Caylab Scott. For when he was in trouble or ABOUT to get into trouble. (Caylab was the name the shelter had given him and we kept it. I just randomly added Scott to it one day.) When we first got him as a kitten we nicknamed him ‘Pooch’ and ‘Poochie’ because we had originally gone to the shelter to get a dog.
My birthmother has two beagles left, father and son. I helped nickname the dad, Striker, ‘Puuuudge’ (like Buuuud) because he used to be the big/rolly, spoiled baby of her dogs, until Diesel came along. Now he gets called that.
My two Jack Russells have totally opposite personalities.
My girl, Scribbles, is very prey-driven (she has field hunting titles, and the little huntress patrols our yard religiously, even treeing raccoons) and goes by the (very long) nickname the Wee Disobedient Working Bitch (“Working” being the title Jacks are given for merit in the field), since she weighs all of about 13 pounds and is VERY disobedient <3. She also goes by Scribbs, Miss Bit and "COME BACK HERE!"
Hasbro, my male, is my total doofus and Velcro dog; not much of a hunter but great obedience and agility dog! His nicknames are 'Bro, D'oh Boy, 'Bro NO and You Goof. <3
Hasbro would save my life. Scribbles … not so much, LOL.
My two Jack Russells have totally opposite personalities.
My girl, Scribbles, is very prey-driven (she has field hunting titles, and the little huntress patrols our yard religiously, even treeing raccoons) and goes by the (very long) nickname the Wee Disobedient Working Bitch (“Working” being the title Jacks are given for merit in the field), since she weighs all of about 13 pounds and is VERY disobedient. She also goes by Scribbs, Miss Bit and “COME BACK HERE!”
Hasbro, my male, is my total doofus and Velcro dog; not much of a hunter but great obedience and agility dog! His nicknames are ‘Bro, D’oh Boy, ‘Bro NO and You Goof.
Hasbro would save my life. Scribbles … not so much, LOL.
I don’t know why that posted twice. Sorry!
I love this thread so much. SO MUCH. Thank you!
Our fluffy tricolor calico rejoiced in the name Piperpouffe Snifflesnort. The black and copper tortie is Kittybast Skitterbutt.
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