We’ve got a lot of pets here at Bitchery HQ, and we call our pets a lot of things.
For example, Amanda adopted Linus, the senior executive of floof, in August of 2017. She found him on the MSPCA Instagram, where he was referred to as a “stunning, huge gentleman:”
Story checks out.
Just over a year is plenty of time for nicknames! Among them:
- My sweet boy
- Fluff son
- My precious boy
- Little sweet potato
- My little toasted marshmallow
- Fluff butt
- Bud
She also has two songs about him. As you do. And, Amanda is happy to report that when she adopted Linus, “He was 9 and a quarter and the shelter’s vet wrote “grossly obese” on his records. Now he’s almost 11, down three pounds, and doing fantastic! When I adopted him, I was warned that he might need to get his teeth removed because of some issues. When he had his dental day last summer, I was happy to receive a call that he gets to keep his teeth! He just had a lot of plaque build up.”
Elyse has Dewey and Fisher, and, well, get ready.
Elyse: “We got Dewey in January of 2014 from our local Humane Society. He’s:
- Dewey MacDewerson
- Deward Morris (my mom went to school with a kid with that name so it’s an inside joke)
- My big boy
- My honey bunny baby boy.
Elyse: “Fisher came to us last year from Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary last March. He was found in a fishing shanty after trying to eat a fish hook.” So his name IS a nickname.
- Fisher also goes by: Fishy-Fish, Small fry, and Little Fuzz. He is also, on occasion, Mr. Poopy Britches.
Carrie has nicknames, of course: “I have 3 cats and one dog. The dog, named Lucy, is about 15 pounds and only gets a nickname when she barks at the UPS person. At these times she’s known as “Fang,” “Cujo,” “Killer,” or “Oh, for the Love of Jesus Please Shut Up.”
Here are all three cats, “all forbidden to go outside, trying to make a break for it. Magic is the tall one, Starlight is looking down, and Toothless is sticking a paw out the door.”
“The two shorthair cats, Starlight and Magic, don’t have nicknames. However, very fluffy Toothless, named for her eerie resemblance to Toothless the dragon, often goes by ‘squeaker’ (she squeaks a lot), Squeak Toy, Flufferface, and Floofy.”
As for me, I have two dogs, Buzz (the Anxious) (that’s his formal title used on all his correspondence) and Zeb, and two cats, Wilbur and Orville. I haven’t named any of them, as they were rescues. But that didn’t stop us from coming up with a slew of nicknames for all four.
- Wilbur: Wilbs, Wilbeezer, the Beezer, Wilbus Dumbledore, Willibur, small cat, Willibus, Sir Wilbus.
- Orville: Orvillius, The Ville, Oro de Ville, The Poopsmith (he had megacolon so his solid waste production is subject of much attention in our house) Big Kitty, Heckin’ Chonker, Big Chungus.
Collectively, the two are known as “the Woogus” or “the Wooguses.”
Wilbur is not impressed.
As for the dogs, there are a lot of names.
- Zeb: Z, The Zeeb, Piglet, Zooble, Zeebie, The Z, Zeb-ity-do-dah, Justin Zeeber, and, shortly after that picture was taken, his name was temporarily, “Oh, dear God, what did you just roll around in?!”
- Buzz: The Buzzle, The Beebs, Fuzzball (his original name when he was in the shelter) Fuzz Buzz, Buzzy, Belly Buzz (as above, where he demands belly rubs the minute I walk in the door)
Freebird, my older son, would like to insist that Buzz’s newest nickname is “Bo-bo,” but Adam is not on board with this nickname. Freebird: “We all call him Bo-bo anyway.” Buzz himself is fine with it, so long as there are belly rubs and treats.
Ok, silliness time: what are your pet nicknames? We want to hear all the ridiculous, punny, silly, and adorable names you call your pets. And if you want to share pictures, that’s cool, too!
We don’t have pets (allergic husband), but friends of ours had two cats. One was a Siamese rescue from Portugal called Tuan. I used to call him Tuanita, because he had this walk that reminded me a bit of Antonio Bonderas in Zorro, but then more feminine (IDK, it sounded a lot more logical in my head..). The other one was a ginger gent called Robbie. I always called him Robespierre, because I’m not as original as I would like.
Together they were known as ‘the only gay cats in the village’ (it’s a Little Britain reference) because they were super best friends and as ‘the distinguished gentlemen’, because they totally were.
Nowadays they run together in the forever fields, being distinguished and disgustingly happy I’m sure (even though we down here miss them).
I adopted a dog just before Christmas and no real nicknames yet. Well, Houdini lately . They forgot to inform me at the pound that she is an escape artist…..until they picked her up recently while I was at work and she decided to go introduce herself to ALL the neighbors and, “Oh, yeah we know all about her and her escapes.” Working on some anxiety for sure so she has been hearing, “Chill a little” alot.
My little pack of three I had for so long had so many. Regular everyday ones, puppy ones that still popped up, and so on.
Our cat is a rescue and we kept her name Mercy (which someone told me was Kim Kardashian’s cat. Uhhh . . . .). Her nickname is “Evil Murder Cat” or “Goddamn Cat” when I’m very angry. She bites and attacks me a lot, but she’s sweet as can be with the kids. That’s what’s important.
I think she’s convinced there can be only one alpha female in the house (shrug).
We had 3 cats: Scully, Muldar, and Agent in Charge Skinner. Scilly is no longer with us and she wasn’t sociable so no nicknames. Mulder is called Mr. M, Big boy, Muldy, and Big M. Skinner is called Skinney and Sweetie (he loves to talk and purrs very loud).
Hector, the senior ginger tabby who consented to live with me when his first mom went into a nursing home, is frequently called some of the following:
–Hecky
–Fuzzbutt
–The/My Feline Overlord
–PSL/(my little) Pumpkin Spice Latte
–Ginger Snap
–Orange Julius
–Circus Peanut
Aside from whatever orange-colored food names that pop into my head, he often gets called Handsome, Gorgeous, Beautiful Boy, Little Sweetheart, etc.–because he is all of those things. He’s wonderful. Even his vet chart carries the notation, “good boy.”
The other cats here are pretty nice, too. 😉
Clementine the Cat. AKA Clem, Clembot, Bot, Fart Noodle, Fart Blossom, Booger, and STOP THAT.
Oldest dog’s nicknames are Bo-bo, Rocky, Mr. Muffin and the muffinator
Younger dog’s nicknames are Fluffernutter, Tucker-ducker and tucky.
I have a canine visitor sometimes (in a non-Gothic way).
I tend to find nickname inspiration in music:
Beastie Boy, Sweetbeast (“Goodnight Sweetheart”), Lovely Lump.
And since I repurposed a “Prince” + crown design to cover part of my couch, he gets called “the Prince” when he takes pride of place there. Not by me, he does need a dozing nook, but I do call it his “throne”.
I have three rescue cats all adopted at the same time from the shelter.
Nixie (a petite girl cat) – Nix; Nixie Pix; Sweet Girl; Nixie Floof; and at night after I go to bed “Nixie Shush!”
Tiberius (tall thin boy) – Tiber; Tiberius Catticus Maximus; jerkface; asshole; Baby Boy
Murphy (a fat boy) – Murph; Murphster; Big Boy; Tripster; Stop Licking Me; Tubbs; Get Off Me I Have to Pee.
My two cats are called Junior and Orange or Naughtyboy and Blur one. I have three frogs as well called Theo, Andi and Delphi.
My very sweet, cuddly chocolate Labrador is named Ranger (if you ask my husband, he’s named after the baseball team, if you ask me, he’s named after the Janet Evanovich character). Somehow, I usually call him Poo Dog.
We adopted a very talkative calico/british shorthair three years ago and re-named her Princess Tayla “Fuzz-face” McFluffy Paws. Generally we call her Tayla or Tay but when she’s demanding pets and her daily massage she’s “Princess”. Her original name was Calypso and it didn’t fit her at all.
My mom’s cat is Kitty Boodle as in “kit and kaboodle”. We also call her Kitty, Boodle, and KB, and I often refer to her as Killer because this cat likes to hunt. She has taken down rats, mice, moles, voles, rabbits, birds, and even snakes (!). KB is pretty fierce.
It’s kind of ironic that she likes to hunt so much because she is super sweet and loves to have her belly rubbed, but she is really skittish around dogs and new people.
I had a black and white cat. When I adopted her from the SPCA, they called her Tabby. Nope. I renamed her Stella Luna, and her nickname was Stella Bella. She was regal and had a one hand at a time petting rule. She passed away from diabetes as an old lady cat. A few years ago we adopted a tiger-striped feisty girl who my husband named Rosie after Rosie the Riveter. Her nicknames are Rosie Posie Pudding and Pie, and Lump, as she fits into our household’s rotund tendencies. We also sing songs to her, to the tune of Davey Crockett: Rosie, Rosie Pussycat, Queen of the bed and chair.
We adopted a rescue doggo a few months ago and she was already named Skittles. My 8 year old son calls her Baby Child and my 10 year old daughter calls her Skittles-Bittles. I usually call her Itty Bitty Bitty or Little Girl.
I’m fairly sure my cats, Mouse and Cricket, think their names are Sweetie and Boo (as in Crickety-Boo, a chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff).
Cricket, who is a big, dumb boy, also goes by: Admiral Paintyfoot, Monsieur Nosewhistle, Professor Stinkbottom, Baron von Puke, and most recently, the Minister of Bad Ideas.
Our dogs are Ginny and Luna, both rescues. (Yes, my husband is a serious Harry Potter fan.) Luna is half-greyhound and thus a goofball, so she is usually Lunatic. She got very wet during a rainy walk, after which she became Luna Fish Tuna Fish. Occasionally she is Shelob, because she has so many long hairy black legs.
Ginny is half-corgi and thus short and stocky. She was a street dog but has adapted seamlessly to owning her own couch. Her titles include:
Her Royal Lowness
The Queen Mum (she had puppies prior to her rescue)
Shortcake
Short Round
Miss Squishy Butt
Mrs. Stubbs
Olive (current cat): olive-pie, olive-piriña, moose, moose potato, potato moose, baked potato, moosie, the superior beast (as compared to the dog), auntie moose (to the dog).
Giles (current dog): boo, boolette, boo-bug, buggles, sir stinkerton, colonel sassafras, colonel flufferkins, dirty teddy, the inferior beast (as compared to the cat), boo nephew (to the cat).
Cedric (first cat, now over the rainbow bridge): bad horse
Daphne (second cat, also passed): daphers, heavy D
Jimelle (third cat, whose passing prompted us to get Olive): poodle, poods
There’s been so many cats, so many nicknames! My last to pass on was Figaro, but often became Fig Newton, Figgy, Figgy Pudding, my little gentleman, The Chairman. All the cats also had “theme songs”, usually by Queen, although Bella was more an Elton fan (The Bitch is Back). Figgy was I Want it All (and I want it neow!), Sugar was our Fat Bottomed Girl and sometimes Killer Queen when she pulled out the attitude, Guido the accidentally inbred was Another One Bites The Dust-(Bunny).
When my mother adopted her cat, Phoenix, she kept calling him her “baby” so I started calling him my furry brother… then I said that in front of my furless brother… who didn’t like that… too bad.
Phoenix is also called Pheenie and His Royal Highness, Prince Phoenix.
@Megan L: I’m dying at “Fart Noodle.”
I now have two dogs and one cat (one foster kitty who is just Miss Milkshake since I don’t need her to get extra confused by making her name different than what the shelter calls her).
Patience: P, Big Girl, Momma’s Baby (she was a feral puppy who tolerates the current boyfriend, but she thinks I walk on water since I tamed her ups), Crazy Dog
Indefatigable: Indi (her normally used name); Squiggle Butt, Wiggler, Pup Pup, Brat (when she’s being loud and pushy), Daddy’s Little Girl (my boyfriend is definitely her person; she loves me, but when he comes to visit it’s time for ecstasies)
Namir: Big Boy, Kitty Boy, PITA (he’s my house feral, so having to get a hold of him for anything is painful…)
My mother’s cat (tortie Scottish fold) has a stupid name that I have never used and never will. I usually refer to her as some variation of “cat” (Kitty, KitKat, Kit Cat Kitty Whack). On the rare occasions she’s sweet, she’s Purr Baby. When I have to provide a name (i.e., at the vet), I use Ferret because she has a freakishly tiny head to go with her teeny ears and doesn’t look much like a cat. She actually looks more like a marmoset than a ferret, but I only call her that in song: Marmoset there’ll be days like this, there’ll be days like this, marmoset ~Marmoset! Marmoset!~ (to the tune of “Mama Said” by The Shirelles)
I’ve been trying to get somebody to name an animal Grawlix since I learned that’s the word for %@$&*! Considering how often pets incite swearing, I think that’s %@$&*! genius.
I got my cat when he was a kitten, so his first nickname was Babycat, followed by Mr. Kitty and Fuss Cat (when he is whining for food or attention).
I have three cats. Tabitha: Tab, Beggar, Your Pickiness, Big Girl, Lump, Plushie, and more.
Loki is: Master Underfoot, Spawn of Chaos, Locisimo, Handsome, etc.
Littlebit is : Bit, Bit Bit, Lap Slut (she believes humanity was created to provide her with a lap to be on), Your Majesty, and so on.
They’re all spoiled rotten, of course.
All my pets have lots of nicknames!
Oliver – Ollie, O Liver, Lovebug, Snugglebug, Ollie Ollie Oxenfree
Stewie – Stewball, Stewpot, STUART!!!, Bug, Bugsy
@San – all my dogs always get theme songs, as well as most dogs in my family:
My mom’s sweet little girl dog – My Girl, The Tempataions
My mom’s rescue (who had a tough life) – Have a little faith in me, John Hiatt
Oliver (also a rescue who is a velcro dog) – Every breath you take , The Police
Stewie (a puppy) – Happy, Pharrell Williams
My cat-son is Toby and he is most commonly called Tobes, Tobe, Tobias, Tobers, The Boy, pain-in-the-arse (because he is relentless in his quest for food) and Big Baby (because of his relentless quest for cuddles). He actually just interrupted me typing this for half an hour by politely climbing up onto my chest and left shoulder (his favourite place) so that my face was blocked and settling down asleep. Sometimes, because he has such long arms (let’s be clear on this – they are NOT legs), I call him Tobo-cop and the Long Arm of the Paw.
Collectively, my cats are The Monsters and, of course, all three have their own nicknames:
1. Aggie: Fuzz, Fuzzle, Fuzzle-Puzzle, Agga, Aggala, Fuzzala, Fuzzle-Wuzzle, Tiger Girl, Mistress Stripe, and Stink Butt (for when she fails to clean her butt).
2. Wynnie: Boo, Boopie, Boopie Doopie Do, Boopala, Boopala Doopala, Brown Boy, Sir Winnifred of Boo, Handsome, Stub (cause he lost his tale), Stub-a-lub, Mr. Stubbs, Asshole.
3. Frances “Frankie” Hollywood Bacon: Frankie, Frank, Frankles, Frankie Bacon, Frankie Bacon Bean, Bean, Bean Town, Bacon Bean, The Beast, Puff, Puffles, Puffala, Lady Pufferton of Bean.
We have 2 boxers, Roxie and Leroy. Roxie answers to Roxs, Ratatouille, Rat and Baby Girl. During her first 2 years with us, we sometimes referred to her as the Devil Dog (she was eating the furniture). Leroy was a stray walking the streets of Las Vegas when he came to us weighing about 45 lbs He is now a handsome lad at 85 lbs. He was named after Leroy Jethro Gibbs (NCIS).
I adopted 2 kittens from the same litter and named them Heavens2 and Mergatroid, but Heavens2 quickly gained the nickname Lump from his habit of sleeping under anything placed on the couch or chairs. So when people came to visit I would have to tell them to check for a lump before they sat down.
My two rescue chinchillas came with the names James and Dusty but I call them pretty much anything but there names. They are collectively the seemingly universal Fuzz butts,Fuzkins, fluff muffins, and Bears. James is Jamie, Huffamuffin for being particular, and Lemon after all his vet bills starting 4 days after his adoption.
Dusty is my Grungemuffin because he is a chronic drooler and Dustbunny for being scraggly and grey.
I am currently possessed by three cats, all rescues.
Sheba (who is actually in charge) is a Siamese cross who variously answers to Sheeble Weebles or No I Won’t Let You Out!
Jezebel is a tortie usually referred to as Who’s My Good Girl or You Great Fat Furry Lump.
Amber is a tabby that belonged to my mother who is now in a nursing home. As she has only started tolerating me once she figured out I am the sole source of food remaining, she hasn’t really acquired a nickname beyond No It’s Not Time For Dinner Yet!
It is making me laugh how many have nicknames related to their pet’s butt.
We adopted a 10 week old (mostly) dachshund puppy from the Humane Society at the end of November. We named him Indy.
So now we call him Jones, Jonesey, and INDIANA (when he’s being pesky, which is frequently). We also sing a phrase from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ditty to him: “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.” So, of course, now we call him Hot Diggity Dog, and sometimes just Hot Diggity.
Sweet Boy gets a lot of use, as does Indy, NO! when he tries to eat the children’s toes.
We adopted two shelter cats 10 years ago, a brother and sister named Jerome and Janga. Those names are awesome, and we didn’t change them, but there are many nicknames:
Janga: Jang, Jang-Jang, Bang-a-lang, Whoa Black Janga (after the Ram Jam song “Black Betty”–Janga is totally black). My husband’s favorite (which he came up with) is Janangaler Bong, in homage to Chanandler Bong, the incorrect name that the TV Guide specifies in the classic “Friends” episode with the trivia quiz.
Jerome: This cat has something of a personality problem, so his nicknames are Butt, Buttface, Buttface Butt, Bud, Buddy. He also is a frequent vomiter, so one of my kids calls him Puky Noguchi, after the NPR reporter Yuki Noguchi.
Our dog Aruna is also known as: pupper, woofer, The Woofiest Woofer of Wooferton (there was a vote, she was voted the woofiest) (the parenthetical is part of the name), puppywog, puppiepie, and woof-woof.
My chow-border collie mix is named Marty McFly (my husband wanted to name him Biff, but the rescue we got him from had already named him Marty, so we compromised…but he is sometimes a little Biffy).
Nicknames: Martypants, Martyparty, Wigglebutt, Buddy, Sweet Boy, Zazzy, Dude Will You Please Just Eat Your Dinner?
Here he is, at his favorite place on Earth: the dog park! https://www.instagram.com/p/BsjkgHZHWeD/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1x1ep2sqx44h8
What a sweet post. No Pets when growing up, my mother didn’t like poop! LOL
The minute I left for college I adopted Benjamin the most vocal tabby I’ve ever known. I dragged that cat everywhere for sixteen years and my Mom even took him a few times because he was so lovable. Until my husband, he chased off every man I ever dated! Many pets since him, but Benny was my greatest love and I still have pictures of him in all the right places.
His Noisiness. I also called my youngest son by this moniker.
Love Bug, I also called my children this pet name.
Scooby Do, Scooby or just Scoobes. I occasionally call my husband this, but he understands it is the greatest sign of affection.
All our pets since have been named by our kids.
Our first dog was a fat dachshund names Schatzi, he only loved and tolerated me, so we got a golden lab mix who was the Best Dog Ever for little boys. Incredible dog, my kids wrote marvelous comics about his escapades.
Luke Skywalker also known as Lukie, Dukie, Sukie, you get it…..
Jon BonJovi was our last dog, who died just last year, he was mostly called Johnny Boy, a sweet sweet Chesapeake that was orphaned by a Navy guy and my husband drove across the country to bring him to SoCal.
We’ve been talking about adopting pets since all our boys are out of the nest, but I also want to go back to Seattle, so we have to figure a game plan career wise.
Losing JB last year and our cat Choo-Choo aka Chooch the year before was tough, so I’m waiting for serendipity to bring me a new pet companion.
As a side note my eldest son has a little mutt named Tom Brady aka Tommy and he is old but really feisty. Thanks for the post and comments, made my day
Our precious Lil’Bit, who passed away at age 14, was more fluff than brain. I dubbed him “Sir Princess Fluffybutt the First of Mechanicsburg, the Whinest of Whiny Kitties.”
My mom could not tell him and his brother, Peekaboo, apart. So the boys got shortened as a collective to the BittyBoos. Peekaboo was also known as “Boo.” My sweet Kirara, who passed away a couple weeks ago, was also “Kiki.”
Our two current cats, Whisper and Selina, currently don’t have nicknames other than ‘baby boy’ and ‘baby girl.’ Selina is called just Lina at times. But all of them at one time or another have been “Editor Cat” when they interfere with work/writing.
“Fluffybutt the First of Mechanicsburg” gave me so much delight.
And I second Amanda’s amusement at how much we all name our pets after their own butts.