It’s Monday and Mondays around here mean Cover Snark!
Elyse: I thought that was shoulder hair…it’s not right?
Sarah: On his shoulder? Don’t think so.
But he more than loves her so maybe he also keeps her warm?
Elyse: I married a hirsute man and I’m used to hairy shoulders, and it looks like hair to me. That’s all I’m saying.
You gotta do the magic eye thing where you look at it but don’t focus.
Sarah: That never worked for me! I think it’s because I am so cross eyed.
Amanda: I was literally plucking my boyfriend’s shoulder hairs yesterday.
Elyse: When we were on vacation we saw a guy with thick dark hair and a beard but no chest or back hair…
CarrieS: She’s a vampire. The lips don’t lie.
From Morgan: Submitted to the Bitchery — pretty much the perfect cover snark book ever because it includes
a. shirtless man
b. baby
c. giant dragon eye
Elyse: The baby look like “WTF. Why am I on this cover?”
Amanda: For some reason, I’m picturing the baby making the Fonz sound – “Eyyyyy!”
Sarah: The shirtless man looks equally perturbed to be on this cover.
Amanda: Just in case you weren’t sure if he had nips.
RHG: Is that nipple ah…oddly placed? It seems a bit off kilter.
Elyse: Yeah…it’s like way off to one side. Could be the stethoscope throwing me off
RHG: No, I think it’s just way off to the side.
Like a lot.
Nipples really shouldn’t be in your armpit.
CarrieS: That doctor is not practicing good sanitation. Keep that stethoscope away from me, pal.
Elyse: “Deke Hunter went into to medicine to understand his own Nipple Displacement Syndrome. Now he’s Chicago’s hottest ER doctor…who doesn’t always play by the rules. Nip Med. Sundays on ABC.”
During sweeps Reese Witherspoon guest stars as the patient with three legs. “Dr Hunter, when I heard your nipples were out of alignment, I knew you were the only one who could help me.”
RHG: You should pitch that.
Elyse: If I was a middle aged white dude it’d get picked up.
RHG: Use Arie’s photo with the submission. No one can remember what he looks like anyway.
Elyse: HAHAHAHAHA
Amanda: Maybe it’s early, but I read the title as The Father Has Runs.
And it doesn’t help that he’s holding his butt.
Sarah: I also thought it said “Father Runs,” which…poor guy.
RHG: Oh jeez. That was not a good choice.
Sarah: Now I just saw “The Farter He Buns.”
I need to stop looking at this cover with my computer glasses on.
I’d be more worried about the omega, who looks like he breastfed his forbidden child until his boob caved in.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t had breakfast yet, but from the way that dragon seems to be eyeing that baby, I think it’s thinking “appetizer”
I want to know why the Doctor’s nipple looks like it bled ink? Why is there a shadow/indentation on the t-shirt, what kind of mutant nipple is that?????
Did the dragon on the Omega cover eat some of the baby’s fingers? Because that baby is missing some digits.
I think it’s the dragon’s baby and the dragon is pissed that the guy stole it.
Shirtless dumbass tryna take my baby, imma bite him.
and now I have tears running down my face after reading The Father Has Runs comments. Note to self: don’t try to read this and eat at the same time.
Thanks for the laughs, guys!
I am more concerned that I would guess the author really meant further. Further/farther…not the same.
I’m so fascinated by the Omega cover, I can’t look away. Even knowing that omegas in m/m shifter romances sometimes give birth, this cover makes no sense.
As well as the sunken boob I want to know what the Omega has been doing to his chest hair. Has he been trimming it to match his beard? Because chest stubble is really not gonna feel good.
Omg! I’m laughing so hard! I showed the dragon eye one to my husband and shared the comments. His response. “That’s REAL?!?”
He also agreed about the nipple displacement. And curious as to how many vaginas the Reese Witherspoon character would have with three legs.
Awesome choices this week. A much needed laugh as I am waiting on pain meds to be filled.
“The Farther He Runs”
The…tighter his pants get? That’s all I’m getting from that cover.
Is it me, or does the first cover make it look like the woman really doesn’t want Harry Tattoo anywhere near her? (Also, “More Than Love You”? What does that mean?)
Also, yes! Vampire. Lips red as the rose, hair black as ebony, skin white as snow. You can tell ’em every time. *nodnod*
You know, everybody kinda looks perturbed to be on that cover. The baby, the dude, the dragon…even the author’s turning Savage.
And yes, Shirtless Man’s right pec is…curiously deflated. I mean, I always suspected men with muscles like that were really just blow-up dolls…
I totally thought the doctor’s stethoscope was his nipple at first, too! I thought it had some weird tube thing attached to it for some reason. Then I realized it wasn’t, and I think you’re right. His nipple is way off to the side. His stethoscope’s where the nipple should be, or at least closer to it.
@Rachely: Strunk and White define the farther as being for physical distance, and further for being more metaphorical…so I guess it all depends on whether the guy is running literally (or at least moving quickly from place to place to get away from something) or just metaphorically, in his head. *shrug*
@Rachely, the entire question of ‘further’ and ‘farther’ is convoluted and contentious. In the U.K. the term farther is rarely used, further being used in all contexts. Even in the U.S. there is room for debate. Now if I can only figure out if they called it New Quay in 1850 I’ll be able to sleep tonight. That’s if I can get that baby out of my head.
Laughed so hard at the Farther comments I almost inhaled my soup wrong and died! The phrase shouldn’t be NSFW, it should be NSFE (eating!).
Was that guy on the Shayla Black cover in Prison Break? If not that is one hell of a treasure map he’s got tattooed on his back. Several pirates may be looking for him.
It’s no use trying to avoid the Eye of Sauron, there, Omega. And you know he put that baby there as bait.
I too thought the stethoscope was the nipple at first, then I saw the second one and was all “Wait — what?” I think the stethoscope was so cold the nipple fled screaming as far as it could go.
The farther he runs the more chafing he gets from those too-tight jeans. Poor man is clearly contemplating his uncomfortable nether regions and trying desperately to adjust those pants better.
The Farther he runs lower arm looks like it was babequed by that creepy dragon baby cover. Before and after.
It looks like he has a hurricane tracking map tattoo and his shoulder is the cat 5 hurricane named for the heroine.
Did the dragon’s eye deflate the nipple? Is shifter attached to the dragon and flat nipple man the parents of the adorable baby who will be asking Santa for a therapist?
The shifty nipple is trying to stay far away from the stethoscope.Plus why is his shirt at such an odd angle?
I just don’t understand what the guy in the last book is running from. His shirt? The heroine? Some guy with a shotgun who found this guy in his wife’s bedroom? A hoard of women calling him “Daddy” or “Bae?”
The farther he runs, the more his arms waste away? (But–but why? Wouldn’t running primarily affect his legs?) As it is, he seems to have lost his entire right arm, and the left forearm is on its way out. Unless that tiny bulge midway is actually his right arm, trying hard to hide behind his torso.
The farther he runs, the lower his jeans droop? Extrapolating from the elevation of his navel, it seems like we ought to be seeing some pubic hair by now. [My fingers treacherously typed “public hair”, which is admittedly not as bad as the opposite error.]
The rule I learned was: “farther” for distance, “further” for anything abstract. Let’s hope he is simply running far, far, far, rather than departing from reality to run into … I dunno. A spare supply of arms, maybe?
Newquay’s tourist website says it has been Newquay, one word, from the mid-15th century, having previously been known (in Cornish) as “Towan Blystra”. They don’t bother to say what this means, but it doesn’t seem to mean a quay of any age.
Don’t forget Newquay is pronounced NEWkey. Because reasons.
I noticed the nip man book subtitle is “love reconstructed”. We can rebuild him…
Does anyone else see three slender arms on the first cover?
what is it with the grotesquely-shaped six-pack abs? The Omega looks like the Alien baby is gonna pop right out.
@LML, I can see it now. I think the lowest ‘limb’, the one beneath the O in Love, is actually a hand though. The guy’s hand and actually quite beefy…if being in the fade zone of the photo didn’t make it spectral at the edges.
Btw isn’t the author Shayla Black of Decadent?:
http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/reviews/decadent_by_shayla_black/
Dunno about More Than Love. Sounds more like More Than You Bargained For to me.
I read The Farther He Runs, and in the story, the guy’s love interest challenges him to run while wearing a butt plug. So The Farther He Runs, the more turned on he gets.
The farther I read, the sleepier I was.