Sometimes the time between Cover Snarks goes quickly and other times, it feels like ages since the last one. For me, it’s the latter this time. Regardless, enjoy!
Amanda: This is not some hokey marriage memoir like I thought.
Elyse: I bet that note is about swinging.
The more I look at it, the more I think that couple are serial killers.
“The secret to our marriage is a murder-pact!”
RHG: The Hallmark channel doesn’t know about swinging.
Sarah: Ted McGinley’s expression is scaring me.
“She’s about to take this note from my hand. I will not let her. Then I will return through my conveniently-placed hell portal to the realm where I belong.”
CarrieS: “We are the Ghosts of Suburbs Past.”
Amanda: Is the bride the cart or the horse? Either answer would offend me greatly.
Sarah: Maybe the flowers are the horse, because she’s holding them behind her. Wait, is this a coded message?
From Ann-Marie – thank you Ann-Marie!
RHG: Uh…
Sarah: You’re seeing it, too, right?
RHG: He needs a mammogram.
Sarah: Definitely needs a mammogram.
I’m worried about the visual differences between his pecs, and I know differences in shape and size are a signal to watch out for in breast cancer.
And that’s like a 6lb difference, I think.
Elyse: I…it looks like he ejaculated.
Hand placement over the R.
Sarah: Wait, so maybe that’s his superpower? EXCELLENT SUPERPOWER.
Maybe this guy can stand behind women who are breast feeding and fire at will at any crapnozzle who tries to give her a hard time about it.
I’m liking this guy more and more.
Elyse: Seriously, tell me that’s not ejaculate
Sarah: The trajectory suggests the right pec may have been the origin, though….
Elyse: We need some CSI level analysis. Like with lasers and shit.
Amanda: I genuinely thought the woman’s large head was on that tiny lower body.
Sarah: Oh gosh me too
I was very confused how many arms she had.
RHG: Why…
CarrieS: The “play” involves cutting up people parts and then gluing them together. It’s the only explanation.
I’m wondering why the couple on the first book aren’t concerned over the cloud of mustard colored gas enveloping their living room.
I’m not really seeing how the second cover belongs here, to be honest. I mean, yes, using a modified version of the Papyrus font is pretty terrible, but unless you’re actively trying to find some offense in the title, it’s not really all that bad? (I’d even go so far as to call it downright pleasant when compared to a lot of self-/independently published stuff…)
On the other hand, that cover for Spellbinder, just below it, is bad enough for two books, so maybe it all evens out in the end.
Aww, it cut out my emoji! Imagine there’s a nice “XD” face at the end of the above comment. 😉
Re “I can’t believe it’s not Death Note”:
That conjured up a synaesthetic vision of a Hallmark movie mashed up with something worthy of a Nick Cave soundtrack. It was…an experience.
(The worst one, musically, since they sang “We Will, We Will Praise You” to Queen at ex church ie blasphemed rock, but hey, small bickie quibbles.)
Re Caboose Bouquet:
The set phrase authors alter is usually that “first comes love…” rhyme, not “the cart before the horse” (in the wrong order). Now I see why.
Terrible combo with the pic, that title. Don’t want to be suggesting vehicles of any kind, given the tradition of tying “just married” signage to the bumper, including (extra) bridal wreaths.
Maybe Ted McGuinly is afraid that Helena Casadine will curse any relationship Genie Francis is involved in on screen?
So Genie Francis is holding his hand in such a way that I really think the note has instructions for a hand job. And she is on the receiving end.
Am I the only one concerned about the angle of “Cart Before the Horse” girl’s arms? Maybe I’m just jealous as my unusually short arms could not contort in such a fashion.
The angles of the couple’s faces and the weird body remnant at the bottom of the Play Fling cover simply give me the heebie-jeebies.
That is all.
@lostshadows;
Notice how they’re looking up toward the camera? The operator is jumping up & down, making faces, waving his arms–anything and everything to keep their attention above waist level.
Come to think of it … Hallmark Channel? That doesn’t exist below the waist, does it? I don’t have cable so I really don’t know.
@Melissa – that was my first thought too – oh my, her shoulders must be uncomfortable! Must be a combination of my physiotherapist brain and my 40-year-old shoulders that aren’t quite as flexible as they were a decade ago…
@LauraL – yeah, their weirdly distorted faces really disturb me.
@cleo, @LauraL — Does “he?” even have a face? All I see under the hairpiece is penciled brows and a two-toned suggestion of nose. Did she eat his face? It would explain the sappy smile. It’s by far the most disturbing cover I’ve seen in a while.
Cart before the horse : the bouquet is the horse, the anticipated wedding night is the cart, the bride is probably pregnant.
If not, this book might very well manage not to have an outdated intrigue.
Too funny 🙂