So, like, a month ago, Elyse was going through some of her mother’s storage, and found a General Electric Microwave Guide and Cookbook from 1977, and began sending me pictures of the recipes.
And I, being a masochist, send SEND IT TO ME and she did (after I’d forgotten about the whole thing, so it was a pleasant surprise to get bookmail from the 1970s).
Even though she KNOWS that I will probably hurt myself with this thing and I DID.
Look, this thing is absurd. “Hey, you know what you want to do? COOK A DUCK IN YOUR MICROWAVE.”
Readers, I did not cook a duck.
First, duck is fucking expensive.
Second, my microwave isn’t big enough for a duck.
Third, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO AN INNOCENT DUCK. DUCK IS DELICIOUS.
No, I did that to a pork chop.
So this was “Golden Breaded Pork Cutlets” where you dredge a piece of meat in crushed crackers and nuke for FOREVERS and then go to town.
The pork chop was on sale (which was good) and I used saltines instead of “butter crackers” (aka Ritz) but I did use more butter than one pork chop would have required.
Trust me, the lack of butter cracker wasn’t the problem.
I cut the bone off the chop, and I pounded the sucker for a while. I don’t have a meat mallet, and while the cookbook DOES suggest a foil covered brick as a substitute, I am fresh out of spare bricks. I used a can of condensed milk.
Then you dredge your meat in crushed crackers, then in melted butter and egg, then back in the crackers. Sure, I could have crushed the crackers better, but that would not have made anything better.
Because the next thing you do is nuke your meat for 12-14 minutes. Did I do any research into the amount of power my 2015 microwave puts out versus a 1977 model? Of course not.
It occurs to me now, writing this, that maybe less time would have been prudent given that I was cooking one piece of meat versus the six, but the fact is this: It was a breaded, malformed hockey puck.
Reader, it was bad. It was over-cooked, tough, and tasteless. Sure, I was able to throw the chop into the microwave and virtuously do my physical therapy homework for 12 minutes, but it doesn’t take any more time to pan fry a pork chop in oil and butter (and then deglaze the pan with apple butter and mustard omg it’s so good).
So…. this is not something I’ll be adding to my repertoire.
You know what the worst part is?
The dredge that fell off the chop onto the plate and cooked on it has been a PAIN IN THE ASS to clean.
How about you? Got any unexpectedly good recipes for your microwave? (Please, no duck.)
I love being organized enough that I can put a plate of leftovers together, stick it in the microwave and have a delicious balanced meal in 1-2 minutes. That doesn’t happen often enough. I also have a strange love affair with my toaster oven. My college roommate introduced me to the wonders of the toaster oven and I’ve never looked back, but I have a propensity for seeing them on fire eventually…
Setting on fire, that is…
This post, and especially the comments, have given me so many LOLs! I haven’t had a microwave for the past 15 years (I moved out of my first apartment which had one into various places that didn’t have one – I didn’t miss it so never bothered buying one). 2 weeks ago I moved into an apartment where I will be living for the next 8 months as I complete an internship and wouldn’t you know, there’s a microwave in the kitchen taking up precious counter space. I’m so used to not having one that either I will have to re-figure out what it can be used for or I will be moving it into the storage room to have more counter!
The best thing that you can make in a microwave is a poached egg. You can only make one at a time but everyone I have made so far has been perfect.
I was going to make a snarky comment about all microwave-based cookbooks, but I just read reader Francesca’s comment that her microwave has three settings for softening cream cheese and I have been struck dumb.
I’ve used the office microwave to make myself instant oatmeal and those instant soup or noodles in a cup lunches.
At home, it’s great for reheating leftovers and melting things like butter or chocolate for a recipe, but that’s it. I’ve been known to bake a potato in there but you have to finish it off in the oven or it tastes like a steamed potato.
Tortilla/kookoo/eggeh/crustless flan depending on where you come from 😉 If you have a small amount of tasty left-over, like say a rataouille, mix with egg and microwave. Great for packed lunches especially if you have both individual silicone cup-cake pans and whoever you are making lunch for can be trusted to return the pans, as the moulds protect the flanlet in transit or even in the freezer if you are very organised. I make larger ones for use at home, fillings are whatever you have around that is tasty.
If you grow your own potatoes you will have experienced the difficulty of cooking the floury ones when just dug up, one second they are still hard, the next they have collapsed into a watery mush. Cook them in the micowave and not only do you avoid that problem, but you will be amazed at how tasty potatoes can be – I had no idea potatoes could have so much taste!
Steaming steamed puddings in a lot less time than you need on the stove-top, with a lot less steam in the kitchen. Also bread and butter pudding cooks in far less time than it needs in the oven. I’ve not tried the mug cakes for the same reason some others mention, I don’t want to know how easy it is to produce cake!
Thank you for taking one for the team, Elyse. The scientific method is a noble beast!
I always think of microwaves as something my parents’ generation loved. My mom bought one in a fever of excitement, thinking of all the time she’d save. Now she uses it only for making popcorn and reheating coffee. My in-laws are the same.
Being an apartment-dweller, I can’t justify losing precious space to something that big and – I won’t say useless, but unnecessary? Definitely. I get that it’s convenient for some things, but not enough.
I think microwaved baked potatoes are SO much better than oven-baked potatoes. And we have a family favorite recipe that I make A LOT, especially in the winter: Canadian Living’s Microwaved Scallopped Potatoes with Sausage. I also do it with ham, and depending on what I have on hand either peas or broccoli. Easy, fast, delicious and filling.
This brings back memories of my mom’s first monster Litton in the early 80’s that came with like 5 cookbooks and All. The. Things. Seriously, one of the best things that ever happened to me was moving into an apartment with no microwave 10 years ago because it forced me to learn to cook and I eat a lot more healthily because of it. The only think I really miss is reheating leftovers quickly. I’m sure if I had kids I would miss having a microwave a lot more.
Microwaved bacon is fabulous … except for the teeny weeny tangential residual aftereffect that your house then smells of microwaved bacon for the next week. Details, details.
I make tea in the microwave. Yup, toss a teabag into a mug of water, bring it to a boil and let it steep until cool enough to drink. Tea can never be too strong for me. Also masala chai–where you bring it to a boil and simmer for a fixed period of time–because once you’ve worked out the times, you don’t need to pay attention to it at all the way you would if you did it in a pot on the stove.
And pre-cooking fried potatoes. Three minutes per potato in the microwave so it’s cooked through, then chop or slice before frying up in oil or butter.
(Yikes! In the above, my fingers typed “fried tomatoes”. I don’t think that would be successful. At. All.)
Ivory soap
https://www.stevespanglerscience.com/lab/experiments/soap-souffle/
Unfortunately, I have this habit of breaking stoves. And we got ours fixed recently so we can sell the house sooner rather than later. (A new knob costs $100? Seriously?) So when it comes to food I pretty much live out of a microwave.
I love taking a TON of crackers and a small pat of butter and putting it in leftover tomato soup to make chowder out of it.
Does it have a recipe for Bombay Chicken? That’s the only successful microwave dish I remember as a kid.
I remember renting a house with no stove and we couldn’t afford one, so we used the microwave exclusively for a while; I even went to a free microwave cooking class. All I remember is a great, easy to do cheese/spinach quiche using frozen pie crust – my family loved it! Does anyone out there have that recipe? I’d love to try it again.
I used mine tonight to mostly cook a potato before dicing and frying it for homemade hash browns. Steak fries work good this was to.