Outlander 2.04: “La Dame Blanche”

Over the title card, a man removes the lynchpin to a carriage wheel. Spoilers, RDM.

At Versailles, Jamie is playing chess with Duverney, with Claire, hand protectively on belly, watching. (Sidenote: I can think of nothing more dull than watching your partner playing chess, especially with you standing and wearing heels. While pregnant. At least get her a chair.) D asks if they’ve thought of a name for “le petit bambin” and Claire offers that she was thinking Lambert, for her uncle. Jamie thinks it’s a wee bit English, and Jamie counters with Dalhousie. After Dalhousie Castle. Claire thinks that sounds more like a sneeze. These are not good names, guys.

The music turns ominous, and the Comte de St. Germain oozes by, eyes the board, and tells Jamie that he will lose in two moves. Duverney stammers, and demands that St. Germain not expose the game. St. Germain sighs and Frenches, “Quelle ennui.” It’s all just so predictable that he does not see the point in watching the rest of the game. He meets Claire’s eyes, “Madam,” and leaves. Jamie agrees that the game is over, and Duverney’s like no man, you were distracted. Let’s make it the best of five. They switch seats and Claire excuses herself to go watch paint dry.

A footman presents her with a glass of something (in the books, it’s rather staggering to a modern eye how much Claire drinks while pregnant, but to both an 18th century person and a 1940s person, fetal alcohol syndrome wasn’t a thing). Claire peruses books.

D confides that Louis is intrigued by these wealthy English patrons and the whole “alliance” business. Jamie: That’s encouraging. Claire sips her drink, and very quickly gets a “this maybe wasn’t a good idea” look on her face, and she starts coughing and gasping while St. Germain watches, not even hiding his interest. Jamie runs over as she grasps at her stomach, picks her up, and rushes her out of the room. St. Germain coolly leaves the room.

At their house, Claire says she doesn’t think it was poison; she suspects it was bitter cascara, based on the aftertaste. Jamie gives her some marshmallow leaf tea, and the baby should be fine. Jamie asks if she thinks it was St. Germain, and she’s like well, he could have bribed a servant, and he was staring like a creeper. Jamie offers to make him pay, and Claire wants him to, but pragmatically would prefer that he not-they don’t have proof and a scandal could make Charles back off. Jamie sees the logic, but he does not like it.

Claire asks that Jamie distract her by telling about Duverney. Jamie gives her the thumbnail-Louis is intrigued. Claire: The Franco-British alliance is a fantasy, and Charles knows that. It is a tempting prize, though. Jamie suggests hosting a dinner for the Duke of Sandringham. Since Charles and Sandringham haven’t met in person, the duke will want to “take the measure and decide if he’s a man worth staking his fortune and his life on.” Charles can be convincing-see how he got Duverney on his side-so they’ll need to arrange matters so Charles will lose any chill he might have “…and expose himself as the delusional popinjay that he is.” Claire agrees it’s a good plan, and Jamie’s like, your face says otherwise.

Claire stirs up his courage and tells Jamie that Jack Randall is alive-she met BlackJack’s brother, and he told her. Jamie, surprisingly, says this is great news. “Why did you wait to tell me?” Claire: Uh, I expected a very different reaction? No, no, see, Jamie has been plagued by the idea that he didn’t get to kill BlackJack, AND NOW HE CAN. Claire: You can’t go to Scotland right now though. Jamie: I’m not that foolish, come on, also we have stuff to do here. “But you’ve given me something…to look forward to. And that is a gift.” He kisses her, and her belly.

In the morning, Claire meets Murtagh, who notes that Jamie is in a good mood. “I told him BlackJack Randall was still alive. Don’t know what you were so worried about.” CLAIRE.

Claire, in a TRULY ADORABLE embroidered hooded jacket, goes to see Raymond. He asks how she is, and she’s like well, I was violently ill, in public, I almost died, and I could have miscarried. I’m great. “Did you sell bitter cascara to St. Germain?” He has sold it once in the past month, but to a servant he didn’t recognize. Delphine mutters that “they are watching” and Raymond pulls Claire into his inner sanctum so they can talk without being observed.

Raymond tells her that the gendarmes wander by sometimes, and that the King isn’t fond of mystical arts. In the sanctum, the room is filled with animal skulls and other fascinating things. Claire picks up a dinosaur skull-“A very old and rare species. I’m fascinated by things not of their time.” Claire merely smiles. Raymond notes that something else is on her mind. “She’s worried about an old friend.” Frank. His future…is in doubt. Raymond says they will ask the bones, and hands her a cup made from a section of horn. “Sheep knuckles.” It’s empty though. He takes the cup, looks into it, and hands it back. “Look again, madonna.” Now there are sheep knuckles!

It was slight of hand trick-he does it to amuse customers. Claire notes that she’s seen this before, but the Zulu she met in Africa used chicken bones. Raymond: Then you know the drill. Bring your question to mind, cast the knuckles on the table, and get your answer. She does, and Raymond examines the bones. He can’t see Frank’s fate, but, “You have no need to worry. You will see him again.” Claire: Hold up, what now? Raymond says that is what he sees, but that’s not his concern.

He pulls a necklace out of a cabinet-it’s a crystal set into a pendant. It will protect the wearer from poison, because it turns color when in the presence of one. Sounds legit.

At Louise’s house, she’s got a new toy: a cuckoo clock. Mary thinks it’s marvelous, and Claire’s like uh, it’s very nice but I thought you said it was urgent? Louise smoothly asks Mary to feed Colette (the monkey) and to be careful not to put her fingers in Colette’s cage-she bites everyone who is not Louise (Louise is very smug about this). Mary leaves, and Louise sits with Claire on a couch (not the couch, because there’s like, five couches in this room because that is what will bring about the Revolution).

The real reason Claire’s been summoned-Louise is pregnant. Claire delicately offers congratulations, and Louise is like, no… see… my husband and I haven’t been intimate in months, so I need help. Claire knows about these things, and Louise has thought long and hard about this, and she’s made her decision. Claire has an abortifacient in mind, but it’s nasty stuff-it will end the pregnancy, but it might also kill Louise. Louise doesn’t feel like she has any other choices. “Do you want the baby?” “Of course I want it! It’s my lover’s, it’s his, it’s mine, it’s…” Claire asks if Louise could divorce her husband and marry her lover. He wants to, but “he’s a dreamer.” If her husband learns about the baby, he could have the marriage annulled and have her arrested and banished to a convent.

Claire suggests, delicately, that Jules could be persuaded that the baby is his? “You mean sleep with my husband? But my lover would be furious!” Claire: “He’s not the one that’s pregnant, Louise.” Louise wonders how she will raise a child with a man who isn’t the father? Claire: All that matters is that the child is brought up with love.

Much later that night, Claire is woken up by a frisky and happy Jamie who is a tiiiiiiiiny bit squiffy. He’s had quite a good day. He starts kissing her, and begins to pull of his shirt, and Claire notices some bite marks. Human bite marks with hickeys. On his upper thigh. Jamie allows that “she” got a bit enthusiastic. Claire: SHE WHO, ASSFACE, the brunette whore Fergus talks about? No, no, it was a different one entirely. Jamie can’t QUITE figure out how he got into trouble here.

He asks if a gently-reared woman such as Claire is familiar with the term soixante-neuf? “OH I KNOW WHAT SIXTY NINE IS.” “She” was rather insistent about it (He’s not helping himself), and Claire’s like “So you obliged” and Jamie’s like what no OF COURSE NOT. He wanted to, but he didn’t! He’s filled with lust and… “I don’t think I’m explaining this properly.” No, see, he hasn’t touched Claire in months, and now he’s driven mad with lust with a whore. YES no wait see, he hasn’t been able to think about sex without thinking about Randall, and now he can feel like a man again, and it’s all thanks to Claire!

“ME.” YES, since she told him BlackJack isn’t dead! Claire is incredulous. “So you had to stir yourself up with a whore to get to that place, that’s great, James.” Then things go downhill really fast. Claire snaps that he doesn’t know what SHE’S been struggling with-trying to be patient and pregnant, and at this point I hide under a blanket because Claire, he’s a rape victim, and no it hasn’t been easy but there’s gotta be a better way to talk about this. They hadn’t even discussed baby names and she feels like she’s been all alone.

Jamie says he’s here, but she doesn’t really understand what happened at Wentworth. “THEN TALK TO ME GODDAMMIT. Make me understand!” He swallows. “There’s a place inside me, a place everyone has that they keep to themselves. A fortress, where the most private part of you lives—maybe it’s your soul, the bit that makes you yourself and not anyone else. But after Wentworth, it was like my fortress had been blown apart. The thing that once lived there was suddenly exposed, out in the open, without shelter, without- that’s where I’ve been ever since, Claire. Naked. Alone. Trying to hide under a blade of grass.” He takes a blanket and goes to sleep on one of their many couches, and Claire puts her hands around her belly.

Later, she finds him asleep (no indication of how many couches she checked), and drops her dressing gown-she’s naked, and wakes him. “Come find me, Jamie. Find us.” The music swells, and they kiss, and the light is low so we can’t really see the prosthetic belly. I have weird priorities.

Later, they’re in bed. “Remember I told you I was lost?” Claire’s built Jamie a lean-to, to keep out the rain. There’s a bit of tapping on the roof, and Jamie gets up, puts on a shirt, and gets his dirk. There’s someone on the roof (Claire puts on her dressing gown). There’s more noise, because this idiot is the least effective second story man ever-and a voice calls “JAMES” and His Royal Highness, Charles Edward Stuart, tumbles in through the window. “Please forgive me. I usually do not arrive so, without ceremony, and at such an unsocial hour.” Jamie, while holding the dirk, “My house is at your service, Your Highness.”

Charles flops petulantly in a chair by the fire, and Jamie introduces Claire. Claire curtseys and notices that Charles has a handkerchief wrapped around one hand. He’s suffered a “ghastly and painful injury” and hopes Claire will look at it. Also he needs a whiskey.

See, what happened was he was at a “friend’s” house, and he had to leave, but not through the door for reasons, so he went across the rooftops to Jamie and Claire, since they were only a few doors down. “She swore she loved me countless times. Then tonight she spurns me without warning. We were quarreling when her husband arrives without warning. God is forever testing me.” I cannot express the even seriousness of his tone, and it’s both chilling and hilarious.

Claire doesn’t think the wound will need stitches, but…is it a bite? “Her pet. It bites everyone that isn’t her.” Claire cocks her head. “By any chance, was this a monkey?”

Later, after Charles has been sent on his way, Claire and Jamie are like well, I didn’t see THAT coming, but they are perfect for each other. Claire: I don’t believe I’m thinking this… Jamie: …but we use their affair to our advantage. They’ll invite Louise and her husband to the dinner next week, and make sure that the news about Louise’s pregnancy comes out, and Charles will lose his tiny little mind, and “…we’ll use his broken heart to break his bank.” This is Machiavellian in the extreme, and I LOVE IT. “Does this make us bad people?” “We’re doing a bad thing, but for a good reason.” “Isn’t that what all bad people say?

A week later, the footmen are setting the table for dinner-silver chargers and everything. Claire is leaving for L’Hopital-there was an explosion at the Royal Armory and all hands have been requested. Besides, no one needs her in the house, and she’ll be back by sunset. Jamie tells Murtagh and Fergus to go with them.

Outside, L’Hopital, Murtagh is throwing dirks into things, and Mary comes out to tell them it’ll be another hour (the light is well into the Golden Hour, so it’s almost sunset). Fergus thinks it’s sad that Mary is sad all the time, and Murtagh’s like uh kid, she was smiling. Fergus: She’d been crying. Murtagh: Didn’t notice. Fergus: That is why you will die alone with your hand. Fergus knows that Mary is in love with another, and the self-contradiction is obvious. “And her speech, which does not flow, now runs like a sparkling stream.” (Fergus is giving this explanation in adorable Franglish, btw.) Murtagh asks if Suzette is in love with anyone. “Her? Oui, with any man who walks past the door.” Murtagh spears an onion.

Inside, a man is screaming in pain as Claire and Mary and another man set his leg-he has a compound fracture. The man drives a brass pin into the leg, and the screaming stops, and they’re able to use traction to get the bones back in the right place. The pin, you see, went into the nerve that went down the leg. The man hands Claire a jar to ease the burns-it’s hanged man’s grease, made from rendered fat of hanged criminals. They’ve already got some on their fingers, and Mary’s like oh my god, I need to wash my hands (me too).

Mother Hildegarde stops by and tells Claire that the man, M. Fourez, is the King’s Executioner. Oh, well. Hildegarde also says that they take what God sends them, but most of the volunteers and practitioners are better than nothing. “You, madam, are a great deal better than nothing.” Claire smiles.

Outside, Murtagh is frowning at the carriage-the wheel is broken, and Fergus has been sent ahead to warn Jamie. Claire: Shit, we’ll be late. We better start walking. Now.

At the house, Jamie is greeting the various and sundry guests, including Sandringham, who has brought Alexander Randall. “Of course you met his brother, Captain Randall!” Alex is sent to dine with the butler. Included in the guest list: Mary’s uncle and fiance. Eight o’ clock rolls around, and Claire still isn’t there, but Fergus finally get there. “There was a problem with the carriage, there will be lateness involved.”

Charles is here! “Mark me, tonight could be a turning point for us.” Jamie introduces Sandringham and Charles. “Such a delight.” “The feeling is mutual.”

On the road home, Mary says that she’s met someone-she’s been corresponding secretly for months! He’s handsome and intelligent and his letters are so charming she couldn’t help it. His name is Randall? Claire: What. Where…. Where did you meet him? Mary: The night you wore the red dress! I dropped my handkerchief. It was terribly romantic. Claire: OOOOOOOH, ALEX.

A shape drops down and attacks Murtagh, along with several other men, and Claire starts screaming for help in French. One man throws Mary down to the ground and tears her dress, and yells that he’s got a virgin. Claire screams for them to leave her alone.

Back at the house, who has shown up uninvited but the Comte de St. Germain and his wife. Because Sandringham, who has clearly been raised by antisocial buzzards, thought that adding two more places wouldn’t be a problem. Jamie: Delighted.

Back to Mary, mid-rape, and Claire, who’s noticed a port-wine stain on one of their attackers hands. Her hood falls back, and the man yells “MY GOD, LA DAME BLANCHE!” and all the attackers run, leaving Mary sobbing in Claire’s arms.

At the house, Louise and her husband have arrived, and Charles’ lack of chill is showing. He lingers over Louise’s hand in a MOST unseemly manner. The butler mutters in Jamie’s ear, and in the back, he finds Claire, Murtagh and Mary-Claire fills him in, and Alex too, and Jamie’s like okay, let’s go hunt them down. Claire tells him that now is not a good time-tonight is too important and they don’t even know where to start. They’re going to put Mary in the guest room, Suzette will help Claire dress, and they’ll get through the night. Jamie does not like this and also sees that she’s right.

In the guest room, Claire asks Alex to stay with Mary-if she wakes up, give her some tea, keep her quiet and calm, and maybe try some poppy syrup to help her sleep. Not too much, it can cause visions. That’s…not very helpful dispensing instructions.

In her dressing room, Jamie tells Claire that dinner hasn’t been served, they can still cancel. There’s too much at stake, and they need to call the authorities. Jamie: We really can’t; her reputation will be destroyed. Claire: That’s stupid. Jamie: I know, but it’s true. Claire: She needs a doctor. Jamie: She has you. Also St. Germain is here. Claire: Fuck. Jamie goes down to tend to their guests, and Claire takes a minute to gather herself. “Deep breath. Okay? Let’s go.”

Downstairs, Claire makes her entrance, in a burgundy gown that’s so beautiful, oh my god.

Dinner is served, and Claire and Louise sneak a few seconds-Louise has told her husband about the baby, and convinced him it was due to one drunken night. “He was mad with joy.”

Mary mutters in her sleep, and Alex says that he’s here, she’s safe, and he loves her. He’ll take good care of her.

At the dinner table, St. Germain is to Claire’s right. Jamie welcomes Charles to the table “..from Italy” and Sandringham grouses that he had a lovely trip to the Vatican but he wasn’t able to meet with Pope Benedict (XIV), because he was “too busy.” “And what do Popes do, anyway? Does anyone know?” Charles: Well, he runs the Catholic Church, that’s a thing he does. I’ve met him, of course. He’s very generous to my family. Sandringham: I just want to find out if he was as witty as they say.

Claire, knowing a set up when she sees one: You’ve been known to tell a joke or two. Sandringham: What did the dwarf say when asked for 5 shillings? Sorry, I’m a trifle short. Charles doesn’t find this funny (the Comtesse de St. Germain exchanges a look with her husband). Claire is still reeling from the attack and wondering if St. Germain was behind it.

Jamie asks if Charles would enlighten Sandringham to some of his-Sorry, God’s-plans. “Mark me. (drink) See it’s God’s plans that I unite the clans and claim the British throne.” Louise, UGH politics is boring! Let’s talk about the opera! My husband and I love the opera! Charles to Sandringham: Are you married? Women are fickle creatures. Sandringham says that Claire and Jamie will produce a child of “unfathomable pulchritude.”

Jamie, in for the kill: Rohan, I understand congratulations are in order! Well, they hadn’t announced it yet, but yes, an heir is on the way! Louise smiles, and Charles is considerably less happy. “I am to congratulate you.” They toast. “The world is not always a happy place.” Louise: Don’t do it. “One minute everything is great, the next everything is awful.” Jules is confused. Charles: “I believe you are a man in the dark indeed.”

Mary wakes up, and Alex tries to keep her calm by pushing her into the bed, which…doesn’t go well. He steps back to get her more poppy syrup, and Mary runs out of the room, smashing things.

Claire fiddles with her poison pendant, and the Comtesse de St. Germain comments on it, and St. Germain himself is like woman, please, I know that’s a poison detector. Do you have such little faith in your cook? Should we all be wearing those? Claire: MAYBE.

Mary runs through the drawing room, and Alex tackles her to get her to calm down. She screams for him to get off of her, and everyone runs in to see Mary, in her shift, on the floor, with Alex on top of her holding her wrists. It looks real bad. Swords are drawn, words are said.

Mary’s uncle screams that Jamie has ruined Mary, and Sandringham sighs that he was so looking forward to dessert. He peaces out. Murtagh nearly stabs Mary’s uncle, and Jamie stops him while Claire pulls Mary out of the fray. Charles: There is no reason to be uncivil! St. Germain agrees, and says that Charles shouldn’t be subjected to such nonsense, and Charles is all well yes, but I regret leaving my friend James in this mess.

Claire pulls off the curtain tie and tosses it to Jamie so he’s not unarmed.

St. Germain says he will take care of it, and he does so by telling the butler to fetch the gen d’es armes. The fighting continues, and Fergus, being a reasonable sort, plunks himself down at the dinner table goes to TOWN.

Elyse: First of all I need a shirt that says “Quelle Ennui.”

Anyway, not having read the books, I am still a little confused by Jamie 69’ing with a hooker. So he wanted to see if he could get aroused? Did they really do the do? I felt like we didn’t exactly get answers on that and it bugged me.

Also super convenient that Bonnie Prince Charlie is sleeping with your friend AND crawls through your window. Maybe the monkey bite can get septic and save Jamie and Claire the trouble of stopping a rebellion. I thought Louise had better taste.

I want to talk about the rape of Mary Hawkins a little bit. First, I was surprised it happened because so far while Outlander hasn’t shied away from addressing sexual threats against women, it’s never come to fruition. I guess in my head I’d made it this magic safe show where women don’t get raped on screen (yeah, I know the scene with Jamie was brutal). I think in the sense of not fetishing the sexual abuse of women, Outlander was kind of my anti-GoT.

That said, the scene was well done. It wasn’t titillating. It was fast and confusing and violent because that’s exactly what it was–a sudden, brutal attack. It wasn’t sexualized, in fact Mary remained mostly covered. That said, it broke my heart. I wanted Mary to somehow be safe–to never have to marry BlackJack and to get to live in a lovely chateau rescuing puppies.

Now I’m wondering if Mary gets pregnant from the rape and Frank isn’t related to BlackJack at all–solving Claire’s dilemma (killing Randall will kill Frank). But then why do Frank and BlackJack look exactly alike ? Maybe they are one person! Maybe Frank is an evil time traveler posing as Randall! Okay, I can feel RHG laughing at me…

RHG: I am.

Elyse: Also the actor who plays Alex has eyes just like Menzies. Good casting job!

RHG: Yeah, we were doing so well in terms of random violence, but Elyse is so right-it’s so very deliberately not titillating or exploiting Rosie Day, and it’s the total polar opposite of like, ALL of the rape in Game of Thrones.  So given that RDM didn’t make this up out of whole cloth (that is pretty much exactly like it happens in the book), he and the crew handled it as well as can be expected.

THAT said, there were other ways to break Mary’s engagement to the old French vicomte, Gabaldon.

Now, in the book, everyone knew from the beginning that Charles and Louise were knocking boots, so this whole awkward thing with Louise not naming her lover was a bit weird to me, but her plaintive “it’s his, it’s mine!” was heartbreaking. She really was not in a good position, and doing the best she could with the limited options she had.

I like Louise, she might be exhausting to hang around a LOT, but she’s delightful in medium-sized doses.

REMINDER: There are people watching and commenting who have not read the books. Elyse is one of them. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL THINGS FOR THOSE PEOPLE. Part of the fun of this season is watching Elyse react to things and not know what’s going to happen.