You did it! We figured this one out! It is a truth universally acknowledged (by me for certain) that the Bitchery pretty much knows everything, and really, it's true. Scroll down to see the solution for this HaBO - and many thanks!
This HaBO request is from Jenn, who is hoping to find a romance based on a secondary character:
I’m looking for a book where I only remember a supporting character – no idea who the hero and heroine are; no real idea about the plot except as it relates to this girl.
I read the book in high school, so it likely would have been published in the early 90s, no later than 1995 or 1996. We were reading all the old skool classics then – Johanna Lindsey, Julie Garwood, Virginia Henley, some Bertrice Small for the kinky stuff. If it had pirates, castles, or Fabio on the cover, we read it. Harlequins were too tame for us.
I’m pretty sure that the setting was Medieval-ish with a castle and associated village. The character I remember was the heroine’s maid of some sort. And like most maids of the era, she was kinda promiscuous. But, unlike everyone else in Romancelandia, she was unable to, ahem, reach the finish line. Liked men, liked sex, couldn’t get off. And determined to fix her problem. So there’s these warrior-type twins, big strapping lads, who decide that they are going to solve her problem, no matter what it takes. There’s a scene where one of them is banging away, while the other hides outside the window, and when the first gets tired, he taps out and lets his brother take over, with our lady-friend none the wiser (both at once was probably too kinky for back then). Sadly, she manages to wear out both gentlemen without finding her own satisfaction.
Not to be defeated in her quest, somehow or another she ends up confessing her problem to the evil priest of the village (or maybe he finds out from one of the brothers? Anyways, he knows). He opens the confessional door and offers to help her with her problem if she agrees to spy on the heroine (he hated her for reasons). Our promiscuous maid agrees, the priest pops open a poison ring with some powder in it (I forget whether she ate the powder, but I think it might have been applied topically?) and there are orgasms for everyone! But only as long as she keeps spying for Father Pervy. I’m pretty sure she felt bad about it cause she was sympathetic to the heroine, but kept doing it because orgasms.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I have no idea why this poor girl’s plight has stuck with me for 20 years when I can’t remember anything else about the book. Hopefully someone else remembers whether or not she got a happy ending.
It would have been the early 90s or so, and teenage me thought this was the height of romance.
Aside from the problematic actions of the hero, this maid is a national treasure and I hope she gets her Big O in a future book.
I have no idea what this is but am hoping someone identifies it because I want to read about that maid.
Can’t help but I will keep checking this post in the hopes that someone can because I gotta know if the big O ever happened.
Is it Bertrice Small’s “Hellion”, maybe? I remember that one being medieval(ish) and kinky as hell, although I was reading it in secret under my covers at age 15, which makes everything kinkier.
If it’s not, let me join the chorus of wanting to know the title so that I can locate it posthaste!
I am almost ashamed to say I definitely remember this one. In fact one of the twin’s names was Rick or something and the maid made a lewd joke about what his name should have been based on his assets. I think it was Virginia Henley’s “The Dragon And The Jewel” or another one in her medieval series.
I just remember the evil priest had the maid snort the powder from his ring and I was all “what is that supposed to be medieval cocaine or something??”
@Lara I don’t know if it read Hellion or not (bless that book), but Hellion had an actual threesome (you always remember your first). But I don’t really remember that book outside the sexy bits. Though the maid thing doesn’t sound familiar.
Never heard of it – but the description was a very entertaining read!
No idea, but hope someone can identify it so I can read it too!
I double checked and I am 100% positive of my answer above. It is Virginia Henley’s “The Dragon And The Jewel”.
I have to read this :))) It made my day
I actually knew this on, but Christine beat me to it. Virginia Henley’s Dragon and the Jewel is the middle book of the series. Falcon and the Flower is the first, and The Marriage Prize finishes it off. So much old skool smut. It’s fantastic. The maid and the twins are a side plot. The characters in the first two books show up in the third.
There are some ridiculously entertaining reviews on Amazon for that title. Thanks for brightening my day. I’m not in to the old skool romance, but if you are this looks like a winner.
I looked “The Dragon and the Jewel” up on Amazon and I think I read this but remember it for a totally different reason. I’ve always wondered WTF that book about Eleanor and Simon de Montfort was (I read it before I realized they were real people); all I could remember was their names and all the descriptions of how big his junk was, and that didn’t seem like a good combination of words to put into Google.
Good gravy! Either these are super popular or the Bitches all went to check them out in ebook form. All three in the series are checked out from Overdrive for Los Angeles PL.
I totally read this! And I read and re-read The Falcon and the Flower when I was a teenager.
I LOVED The DRagon and the Jewel!!! There’s even butt stuff. Very risque for me at the time.
The Dragon and the Jewel is one of my favorite Virginia Henley novels. I love it so much; there’s a shitload of history entwined in it.
I’ve been collecting Henleys books for years; she was my first romance author and I love her.
The Bitchery is amazing! I absolutely remember reading The Dragon and the Jewel, but I’d forgotten that it’s where that side plot came from. I went on a huge Virginia Henley tear back then after someone gave me a copy of Pirate and the Pagan. Now that the week from hell at work is over, I’m off to find myself a copy.