Outlander 2.02: Not in Scotland, Anymore

This title is a LITTLE on the nose here, RDM. A LITTLE.

The title card is Louise getting dressed.

We open with Jamie and Claire mid coitus, with the captions saying “both moaning,” which is true. But then Jamie opens his eyes to see BlackJack saying “don’t stop” and Jamie pulls a knife and stabs many many many many times until BlackJack is seemingly dead and Jamie is covered in blood. BlackJack wakes up, though.

Jamie wakes up in bed, panting, and Claire wakes up too – it’s only a nightmare. Claire tries to reassure Jamie that BlackJack is dead, and Jamie says that he is not: “He’s alive. In my head.” Claire tells him that it’ll get better with time, and he knows, but right now, he won’t be getting any more sleep. He’ll go over the week’s receipts. “BlackJack Randall is dead,” Claire tells him. “I know. See you in the morning, Sassenach.”

In the morning, we get a title card that tells us this is Paris in 1745 (but it’s really 1744) and Claire goes to her window dressed in a FABULOUS ensemble that is Christian Dior New Look inspired – which hasn’t happened for Claire yet because that debuted in 1947 but it doesn’t matter because a) it’s fabulous and b) it works in the time period and c) SERIOUSLY LOOK AT IT.

The maid is grumpy that Claire has been folding her own clothes and making her bed. Claire isn’t as used to having servants as she should be, according to her station and gestational status (says the maid). Claire promises to be sloppier in her personal habits and allows the maid to strip and remake the bed, much to the maid’s delight. A footman announces that her carriage awaits. Claire voiceovers that the whole “running a great house” thing is a bit more complicated than expected, but Jared had selected his servants with care. She also admits to finding Paris to be endlessly fascinating, even and especially with her knowledge that the French revolution will turn the streets “…into rivers of blood” in 40 years.

The last time she’d been in Paris was during the celebration of the end of WWII, and she hadn’t been able to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and now here she was 100 years before it was built. Just her luck.

Claire walks through a market, and finds what she was looking for – an apothecary, with the name Raymond over the door. Inside, it looks exactly as I expected – dark, mysterious, with a large crocodile, and lit by candles. It’s perfect. A young Black woman asks if she can assist Claire, and Claire asks for Monsieur Raymond, and the woman corrects her: Maitre Raymond. A short, stout man comes out and correctly pegs Claire as English, and he switches to speaking in English.

Claire picks up a bottle and sniffs it – it’s mustard and thyme and walnut oil, but something else makes it smell nasty. Raymond grins that Claire’s nose isn’t merely decorative. It’s blood. Claire eyes the crocodile and says, “Not crocodile.” “Such cynicism in one so young.” It’s pig’s blood, but people of court are more trusting and foolish than one Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser.

Claire asks for ingredients for a sleeping tonic. Raymond asks for the causes of the lack of sleep. Claire admits it’s nightmares, and he floats about his shop gathering ingredients (well, he stands on moving stairs while his assistant pushes him around). He notes that Claire has a knowledge of herbs, and asks if she’s a professional. Claire admits to being a healer. Raymond asks if her name is Claire Fraser. “The size and overall look is as stated.” You see, the Comte de St. Germain has mentioned Claire and her activities to Raymond. “You’re friends?” “You may call us rivals.” He would much prefer to call Claire a friend.

He presents Claire with a mixture to put in Jamie’s tea and “I guarantee you he will keep you awake with his snoring.”

Outside, in a garden, Jamie and Murtagh are practicing swordplay – Jamie needs to strengthen his hand and he has a brace on it. Jamie’s got a new, lighter sword, and he’s adapting. Murtagh has some criticisms. Murtagh notices that they have an audience of aristos, and he starts yelling at them in a mixture of English, Gaelic, and French.

Murtagh really does not like France. He’s out of breath because the air is terrible – “ASSES AND ARMPITS.” Jamie says that Scotland doesn’t smell like a lady’s boudoir, and Murtagh’s like no, but it smell like animals, not the chamber pot. Murtagh also misses “Lard Bucket and Big Head” (Thing One and Thing Two). Jamie is sure they miss Murtagh. “We won’t be here forever.” “But it seems so!”

Murtagh wants to know what the fuck they’re doing – aren’t they here to stop a Scottish rebellion? Now we’re selling wine? It’s very simple, you see – kill Charles Stuart and the rebellion dies, easy as that. “We don’t even know if he’s in Paris” (Like that’s Jamie’s only objection to this idea). Murtagh: I’ll find him, don’t you worry your pretty head. “Then what? Is your longing for home worth the murder of a prince?” Murtagh just wants to DO something, what’s with this logic shit? Jamie starts up another fight.

At home (well, Jared’s house), Jamie admits that his hand is mending, and Claire (wearing this dress that is…dubious…I think it’s vaguely inspired by a Chemise de la Reine but not really) hands him a letter from Jared – he’s arranged an introduction with Charles Stuart – at Maison de Madame Elise. A brothel. Jamie smirks; Claire is nonplussed.

At said brothel, Jamie and Murtagh enter to find all sorts of amused debauchery. Jamie sits awkwardly with Charles, and they’re about to start on the actual discussion, when Madame Elise announces that she has arranged a special surprise for her patrons: “Allow me to present… your wives!” Lots of faces go white and at least one prostitute gets unceremoniously shoved to the floor. Charles giggles delightedly. Elise calls in the ladies – it is not their wives, of course; it’s another set of prostitutes calling the patrons naughty. Elise: “Your wives are lonely because you are here. What they need are DILDOS.” Charles: “This is why I admire the French. They’re so exquisitely vulgar!”

The dildos, by the way, are available for purchase or rent. Charles would buy all three, if he had a wife. Murtagh: “If you ask me the French are a sorry bunch of sodomites who canna please their women.” Charles: Who even ARE you. Murtagh: “Where he goes, I go.”

Charles cuts to the chase: Jared says that Jamie is a true Jacobite, and Charles isn’t looking for another yes-man. Is Scotland ready to rise up against the “heretical traitor that dares to sit upon my father’s throne?” Jamie: The clans can’t agree on the color of the sky, so… they’re not really ready to band together. Charles is surprised to hear this – no one ELSE has said such defeatist words in his ear. He’s not pleased.

Jamie: I hate the English as much as any man. I carry the scars of 200 lashes on my back…you asked for the truth and the truth is what I gave you. Would you rather I whisper honeyed words of reassurance? Charles: But see God demands that a Catholic king sits on the English throne. Jamie: I want that as well…but wishing doesn’t really fight the British army. We learned that in 1715. Charles: A LEADER MUST BE DECISIVE.

Murtagh: Have you been to Scotland?

Charles: …no. Cuz exile. Murtagh tells Charles that the Scots are a simple people – people of the land and not real fond of outsiders. You sir, are an outsider, and you’ll need to present a REALLY good case to convince a cotter to “give up his scythe for a sword.” Jamie: You’ve had the truth from two. Charles: BUT GOD THOUGH. GOD WANTS ME TO UNITE THE CLANS. He’s quite serious.

Welp.

But they do need money – so Charles needs the supports of the French Minister of Finance, Duverney. Charles isn’t in France officially, so he can’t go to court, but Jamie can go to the court of Louis and plead Charles’ case. Jamie will do so. Having that settled, Charles goes off to find a lay. Murtagh grumbles in Gaelic that they could still slit his throat.

At home, Claire (IN A FABULOUS DRESSING GOWN) tells the boys (well Jamie, but both he and Murtagh are flopped on the couch) that she’s proud. Jamie spoke his heart and still is at his side. Murtagh: The man’s a blockhead. He’s gonna get us all killed. Claire: Well, you can try… Jamie: No, he won’t listen to anyone. Claire: Yeah, but wars DO need money. We can work with that. “If the Scottish rebellion can be plotted at a French brothel, maybe it can be stopped at the French court.” We gotta go to Versailles.

Claire voiceovers that she’s made a new friend – Louise de la Tour, Marquise de Rohan. She was a kind and caring person, even if she tended towards the superficial and frivolous. At Louise’s house, Louise is getting her legs waxed by her personal groomer (with much yelling and slapping while Claire watches with amusement).

Lousie has a pet monkey – Collette, who has a tendency to bite. Louise also has another visitor – Mary Hawkins, a tiny, fearful little English rosebud. Mary is in her chemise and a wrapper, and feels like she’s naked, and Louise is like forreal child, you wanna see actual naked? Mary also has a bit of a stammer, and Claire thinks her name is familiar.

Mary is in Paris because her uncle is there on business and she’s going to wed a rich, widowed (old) Vicomte. Louise can’t understand why a girl who’s going to be rich soon is incapable of smiling. Mary’s intended also has warts.

Mary wants to leave and get dressed, and Louise is like no, no, your legs are hairy and no Frenchman wants to bed a monkey. (“You say such horrible things!”) Louise also informs Claire that she shall accompany Mary and herself to Versailles! (“May I bring my husband?” ::eyeroll:: “If you must, though you’d have more fun without him.”) Louise will also set Claire up with a dressmaker, and then Louise flops down on the couch and spreads her legs. Both Claire and Mary gape incredulously and Louise laughs delightedly and informs them that a bare mound is de rigeur and men find it irresistible. Mary is dubious. Claire is FASCINATED. “It’s so warm and comforting when it is being put on, and so painful when it is being pulled off. AUUUUUUGH.” The monkey hides.

At home, Jamie is in bed, and Claire carefully takes off her dressing gown and slides into bed. She takes Jamie’s hand, kisses it, and slides it between her legs, and he’s like yes, this is a nice thing OMGWTFBBQ “Your honeypot! It’s bare!” Claire was there when it happened. Also she had her legs waxed. Jamie is intrigued and also kind of scandalized and then… well it’s different. “What must it look like?” He looks, and well, it’s now looking more complicated. “You’re a daring woman, Sassenach; I guess that makes me a very lucky man.” They begin making out, and Jamie has a BlackJack flashback and has to stop. Claire understands immediately what happened, and tells him it’s okay. They can go to sleep.

Two weeks later, Jamie and Murtagh are getting ready to go to Versailles, and they clean up pretty well, but Murtagh is grumpy that no one else has a beard. While he grumbles, Claire comes down the stairs and we get mere glimpses of part of her gown – it’s red, like RED RED (the book describes it as Sang du Christ – blood of christ). And when they see her on the stairs, there’s a lot of jaw dropping. We’ll discuss the dress in detail later, but the neckline is…low. “Are you mad, woman? I can see every inch of you, down to the third rib!” Claire helped design the dress, so… “You could cover up a bit.” That’s what the small red fan is for. “You’re gonna need a larger fan.”

Versailles! It’s huge! It’s shiny! It’s GORGEOUS. There are SO MANY PEOPLE AND COSTUMES. There’s a cloven orange! Louise is bragging that she knows everyone and everything, and she’ll facilitate introductions. Claire delicately says that she’d like to meet M. Duverney, and Louise is like “…he’s weird, but okay.” Before any more can be said, a woman comes rushing at Jamie, squeaking “Mon petit sauvage!” and he hugs her back. Both Claire (who is wearing some heavy earrings that drag her earlobes down and I find it distracting) and Murtagh are quite interested by this development.

Annalise de Marilac was the woman Jamie fought his first duel over – Jamie is very embarrassed by this story (Murtagh is loving every minute). Also the duel he fought over Annalise, he won, but she married the other guy anyway. He’s dead now. Smallpox. BUT Annalise can also introduce Jamie to the King, and bring him to the dressing of the King ritual. Cool, cool. Claire sends Murtagh with Jamie and Annalise.

In the King’s privy chamber – literally – the King is attempting to take a shit while people make petitions. Jamie and Murtagh are just perplexed by this whole thing, and Louis has terrible constipation. Jamie knows immediately what would fix this problem, and demands an introduction. After some language difficulties – Broch Tuarach and French don’t mix well – Jamie recommends porridge for breakfast every morning. The King is like that’s fucking peasant food, I have never acquired the taste for it. All the while, the King is attempting to shit. “Perhaps this would be the perfect time.”

Out in the public rooms, Claire is chatting with other ladies, who are giving her the low down on everyone else there – including a man known as M. Andouille. Because of his inability to keep his dick in his breeches. What do English ladies call a male member. Peter, prick. This leads to a discussion of the non-musicality of the English language which. That’s fair. Claire and Louise notice that Mary is talking with a young man (“This wicked little minx, she has found a lover even before the wedding vows.”). (Notably – Claire has found a much larger fan.)

Claire excuses herself to get some air, and Louise finds M. Duverney, and informs him that her English friend (of the lovely red dress) would like to meet him. Duverney is most delighted that any friend of Louise’s would be most entertaining. He moves off, Louise is pleased with her work.

Outside, Claire takes a seat on a bridge (with amorous couples in alcoves), and Duverney introduces himself in typical French fashion, and Claire’s like right, so let’s talk politics and my husband – “No, no, there is no need to speak of husbands or wives…let me worship at your feet.” He pushes up her skirts a bit to see her very cute red, strappy shoes and I swear basically comes right there (“OH MY GOD”) and then suggests they find ecstasy in each others embrace, and slobbers on her boobs. She shoves him away – right into Jamie who has arrives at a MOST opportune time – and Jamie handily throws him off the bridge into the river.

Claire: “That was the French Minister of Finance.” Whoops. It all just happened so fast. Duverney pulls himself out of the river. He’s fine. But soggy. “I told you that dress would bring us grief.”

Inside, Duverney is drying his wig by a fireplace and apologizes to Claire and Jamie. Claire graciously accepts it, and Claire assure Duverney that his wife need never know that he got a bit into the King’s champagne. Duverney asks if Jamie likes chess; Jamie is reasonably good, so they will play.

The King approaches, and Duverney hurriedly puts on his wig. Accompanying the King is his mistress, Nesle, with a gown that bares her breasts entirely, and swan jewels adorn them – pierced through her nipples.

The King chides Duverney for taking a bath in the middle, but really everyone is super focused on Nesle’s boobs. The King also notices Jamie. “Parriatch?” Jamie assures him he will not regret it. Murtagh is still focused on the swan boobs, but then notices someone else and snarls, “”Cheating coward of a villain!” in Gaelic.

It’s the Duke of Sandringham, and Jamie prevents Murtagh from drawing a blade, barely, and Murtagh is like “I will get you later.” Sandringham says that he is VERY happy to see Jamie looking so happy and healthy, and oh Mrs. Fraser! How lovely to see you too! Neither Jamie or Claire are happy to see HIM. “You cut me to the quick. But I suppose I deserve it.” See, Randall insisted that Sandringham give HIM the petition, so you see there was no choice.

Claire explains that Jamie is employed by Jared, and Sandringham is super stoked at the chance to sample the expensive port – he wants a case. At 20% over the asking price. Claire sends Jamie and Murtagh to go talk to Duverney (“You know, the Minister of Finance?”) and Sandringham understands at once – she’s again cultivating relationships in high places. Poor Jamie, he must be missing Scotland, and it’s no longer safe.

“Yes, and here we all are, supporters of the Jacobite cause.” Wouldn’t it be sad if everyone knew you were a traitor. Sandringham notes that she’s still got a sharp tongue (get used to that). A pasty young man comes over to let Sandringham know that the fireworks will be starting soon. He’s got a terrible cough, which puts Claire into healer mode, and suggests a cough remedy. Sandringham introduces Pasty – Alexander Randall. Brother to Jonathan BlackJack Randall. “Mrs. Fraser and your brother are very well acquainted.”

“I’ll have to tell Jonathan that I met you.”

Because he’s not dead. Claire takes a step back, nearly about to faint, but rallies. “I suppose I heard a false rumor of his demise.” He did suffer wounds in the line of duty, but he’s fine. The fireworks start, and Sandringham sends Pasty off to get his carriage. Claire strides off to find Murtagh, and worries in voiceover about what would happen when Jamie found out? Should she tell him? And even if she didn’t, he’d find out eventually, so. What then?

RHG: Look there’s a lot to talk about here, and I am most particularly interested in how Elyse, as someone who hasn’t read Dragonfly in Amber feels about how the story is going. I, as usual, spent the first watch feeling bit salty about changes and the second one (the recap watch) being less salty.  So.

But lets talk about the costuming. And the lack of historical accuracy in the costuming. And why I don’t think it matters that much (I have talked about these things before). First, this isn’t a real depiction of what happened in the world, so there’s some latitude for fantasy. Second, you’re serving a few masters when dealing with costumes for a tv show (or movie, so play): you have to evoke the right time period, but all the right feel for the director and showrunner, and the comfort of the actor, and you have a budget to deal with. Claire helped design the red dress, so she’s not limited to pure 18th century bodices and necklines, but damn is that thing well put together, and gorgeous.

Basically let it go.

In the book, Alexander Randall is described as being very similar looking to BlackJack, and this actor isn’t, and I know that there were some people who were asking if Alexander Randall would ALSO be played by Menzies, and I think it’s a legit choice to not do that – they’re not twins, and it’s easier to make that hand wave on the page than on screen.

ALSO HOW PERFECT WAS RAYMOND.

Elyse: This episode was the best episode that ever episoded. I LOVED IT.

1. Murtagh is salty and grumpy and I love him. I love a man who can be decisive and commit to a plan even if that that plan is homicide and very inadvisable. I love his grouching about France. I love him all cleaned up for Versailles.
2. When I heard tell of a “nipple dress” I thought it was Claire’s red dress and I was like, “Yeah, there’s the possibility of a nip-slip there” so when the real nipple dress came on I was like WHOA HOLY SWAN TITTIES BATMAN. That is glorious WTFery and crazysauce right now.
3. Jamie introduces himself to the king of France by explaining the benefits of FIBER. When Louis was like “I don’t eat peasant food” I really wanted Jamie to be like “Well peasants don’t have an issue pooping, now do they.” Also maybe he just needs people to leave the room. I couldn’t poop in front of anyone.
4. Really I think a dildo should be a “buy” item. Renting one…I’m not super comfortable with that. Like that’s definitely one of those things where you use it, you own it.
5. Hey the Madame’s name is Elise! Cool!
6. Holy fucking scenery and costuming and omg this is a visual FEAST. I could watch them recite the dialogue to Twilight as long as I get to look at this.
7. Jamie thinks Claire’s vagina looks “more complicated.” Has he not seen her labia minors prior to this? TBF vaginas are complicated. And awesome.
8. OMG I NEED TO WATCH IT AGAIN