One of my favorite things to do for the site is poke around for a fitting stock image to use on a post. Not only do I get to pick cool pictures to adorn the Pink Palace, but I also get to find some pretty strange stuff. Case in point, this guy:
When I showed Sarah, her first response was along the lines of “WE MUST CAPTION HIM!”
Why is he so happy? What’s he doing in the woods? Did he finally find a good wifi signal?
You decide! So here are the rules:
Caption that cover in the comments between now and Friday 1 April, 12pm.
If you’d like to voice your vote for the best caption in the comments, please do! There’s a little heart next to each comment – tap that to like your favorites. Much like Dance Fever, we love originality, execution, and showmanship – think Robin Hood archery contest level business. Comments will close 12 noon Eastern (US) time, 1 April 2016. A winner will be selected by random integer and announced that day.
What do you win?
The winner will receive a $50 gift card to the bookstore of his or her choice. Standard disclaimers apply: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents were permissable by applicable law. All judging decisions will be final. Must be over 18 and willing to be one with nature. Keep all your cords and wires wrapped up and off the ground, lest a bear get a hold of them. Philosophizing about trees falling in the woods is allowed.
So, let’s caption this dude. What’s he thinking? What is he doing?! And why?
Update: Our contest winner is Katey! Her caption:
Finally! Proof that bears do $#!t in the woods! My dissertation is complete!
Thanks to all who participated and for giving the Bitchery a good laugh!
Huzzah! I got tickets to go see Hamilton in NYC!!!!
I beat her DABWAHA picks! Take that miss “guys don’t know romance”!
Do hipsters poop in the woods? Damn right they do!
Starting a digital detox. Disconnecting from the internet and reconnecting with nature!
I got nothing, but I’m loving all of these suggestions. Keep it up, I could use the grins.
You all didn’t really think you could win a $50 giftcard did you? Got you it is April Fool’s Day!!!!!!
Come, wood spirits! Bring this brandless laptop to life!
Finally! They’re opening a Whole Foods within biking distance of my parents’ basement!
Just bought a typewriter – now I can be free!
They found my HaBO!!!
or
My Taxes are done!
or
Trump withdrew and I can return to civilization!
Hooray, my fake glasses have finally shipped!
Omg! Yay! My vegan organic fair trade, kale infused beard oil has shipped!
I’m the mansplaining king of the world!
LUMBERJACK IS OVER! I CAN SHAVE THE DAMN BEARD!!
Yes! Yes ! Yes! I finally blocked the wifi and now my boss can’t reach me and I can enjoy my date with Mother nature.v
Yes! Outlander is now a TV series!!!
This novel I have created…this *masterpiece* that I have now created will be the one true tome that speaks for the plight of women everywhere. I am a foresty feminist…hear me bellow!
Finally! I’m the most popular person on MySpace! Take that Tom!
YES!!!!! YES!!!!! THE FIFTH DENTIST FINALLY ADMITTED HE’S CHOOSE DENTYNE!!!!! MY TWITTER CAMPAIGN WORKED!!!!!!!
“I just built a tree in Minecraft! Nature is awesome.”
After the Oculus, it was only a matter of time before some trustafarian invented the Cockulus. It runs on your laptop battery and Instagram Likes. Its slogan is “Jack in to Jack …” well you can guess the rest.
It’s true! A tree falling in the forest does make a noise AND a bear does s**t in the woods. I looked it up on Google.
“I believe I can fly~!”
That moment when you’re no longer constipated.
*Sings* Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah…
“I’m the first one to discover the ‘Hipster in a Forest’ Instagram filter!”
@crystal, I was literally watching “once more, with feeling” when your comment posted! Best Buffy episode ever, and I loved those little snippets of songs like “mustard” and “parking ticket”. Such synchronicity! Much caption!
And my caption:
“The yelp reviews were right! This is the best slide in Portland!”
Ah! Free range pooping! Better than in Brooklyn!
I heard it! If a tree falls in the woods, it really does make a sound!
*The camera zooms in, then spins around, to reveal a modern office park.*
“Even when your ‘all-natural lifestyle’ consists of spending your lunch hour in a small greenspace in the middle of a city, you can still be smug. Our artisanal, locally-sourced, organic, handmade beard oil will make you the envy of all the other hipsters!”
#21stcenturytranscendentalist, #transparenteyeball, #Waldenfail
(Whoops! I didn’t realize winner was via random number integer…but I have one more that I wanted to add! I feel like if GuyInYourMFA were more enthusiastic…)
“[Just finished my] short story about how technology actually makes it HARDER for human beings to connect. I mean, connect in a REAL way.”
–https://twitter.com/GuyInYourMFA/status/656454914344931328?lang=en
Paulo was overjoyed; finally, he’d found a peaceful place to fart in peace!
Jared celebrates the culmination of the live webcast of the Donald Trump Ted Cruz swashbuckling duel. Who won? Find out next week on Jared Live.
I WIN!!!! and I didn’t even need to wear the big, somewhat embarassing spectacles!
“Yes! The book I’ve had on hold at the library for months is _finally_ available!”
Rent controlled sublet in Williamsburg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you post ‘You’ve probably never heard of it…’ and they REALLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF IT!!