So, you know those clickbait headlines? They’re all over social media, especially in the emotional-porn videos that are shared – twice – by everyone on my Facebook page.
She sat down to play the piano, but you won’t believe what happened next!
He thought it was a normal trip to the drive-thru pharmacy until this happened!
You won’t believe the ending to this story!
Your faith in humanity will be restored after you watch this!
It looked like a typical cat video, but this part brought me to tears!
These 10 tips will save you fourteen whole dollars!
I’m not a fan, but I know they’re effective. Upworthy uses them by the truckload, as do many other media outlets, because you have to click to find out. It’s like bad weight loss ads come to life every day – Eat these three foods and the fat will melt away!
Yeah. Thank heavens for the Saved You a Click Twitter feed.
But then, after one too many links in a row where the headline was nothing but clickbait, I realized: we’re sitting on a golden opportunity for the romance genre.
We need Clickbait Romance Titles.
We’ve got cute titles, silly titles, titles that reference 80s music, titles that reference children’s books… but, come on, this is IT. THE NEXT AND ONLY BEST THING.
Seriously, think about it. How many copies would sell if the books we loved were titled this way?
ZILLIONS. Actual mathematical ZILLIONS. LITERAL ZILLIONS.
Imagine the possibilities!
You Won’t Believe What the Duke Did Next!
When the Virgin Mistress Looked Closer – Your Jaw Will Drop!
10 Things Only Heroines in 1811 Will Understand
The Billionaire Removed His Tie and this Happened!
This could work for any genre. Really – the potential is endless.
And since many of you are probably sitting at a half-day at work before the holiday break, we figured, why not make this more fun for everyone? Contest time!
Drop your Clickbait Romance Title in the comments, and you’re entered to win a $50 gift card to the bookstore of your choice.
I’ll be selecting the winner but please feel free to use the “Like” feature on each comment to highlight your favorites. (The like feature is the heart in the top right corner of each comment. Click it to find out what happens next!) Comments will close at or near 10am ET on Friday, 25 December, and winner will be announced same day.
Standard disclaimers apply: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. You won’t believe that it’s void where prohibited. 10 Things About Being Open to International Residents Were Permitted by Applicable Law. Must be over 18 and read to DO THE THINGS to enter. Your mileage may vary but especially if you do these three things!
No, no, publishing industry, don’t thank us.
We are HERE for YOU, all the clicking time.
ETA: Oh, my gosh, are you all funny.
But there can only be one winner, which is SO UNFORTUNATE because like I said, you’re all hilarious. I’m going to highlight a few favorites because OH THE SNORTS:
High fives and honorable mentions to:
Anony Miss for many entries, including, I’m earning $500 a day being a spy for the French Revolution, while working from home! You can too! Click here to learn more! and the incredibly kind, 365 Days in 2015 That SBTB Readers Were The Most Awesome Community Online.
Yes, yes, you are!
Ellie Heller for several, among them, From Ingenue to Roue – What your beauty mark placement says about you.
And to N. Vivian for She Landed A Duke With This One Trick–Matchmaking Mamas HATE Her!
“Matchmaking mamas HATE her.” HA!
And the winner of this lovely and most enjoyable exercise as selected by random integer is Priscilla!
Congratulations, Priscilla, and thank you to everyone for making this so much fun!
Five Things You Must Eat to avoid Pregnesia! Find out your best options now! Don not be caught Unprepared!
Hmm… how about
– Hot Holiday Hacks – 7 ways to wrap lingerie for that special someone’s gift
– The Peerage Demystified – how to address Mr. – er – Lord Right and win his heart with your knowledge of appropriate forms of address
– Hot Wheels – How an innocuous carriage ride became a flight to the border – 4 celebrities who tied the knot in secret, sexy, Scottish Gretna marriages
Just when you thought it was safe to pass under that Mistletoe!
He was keeping WHAT in the attic? The truth will shock you!
Top ten tips for the cross-dressing heroine (Number eight will amaze you!)
Looking for her long-lost brother, she found THIS instead!
Confronted with the secret baby he never knew he had, what this pirate did next will melt your heart!
What do billionaires really want? Childhood friend reveals the secret!
She swore it would never fit, but you won’t believe what he did next…
She’s a Quaker! He’s Had a Stroke! Together, they’re DYNAMITE!
These Body-Hairless Designer-Obsessed Hip-Hop-Loving Vampires Are HOT…FOR EACH OTHER!
13 Ways to Say “It Felt Like Velvet Over Steel” That Are Not That
This Medieval Laird Can Totally Get It If We All Just Pretend Hygiene Existed Back Then!
Is the gamer next door secretly a billionaire? – 10 ways to find out.
These three toys will keep him satisfied in the bedroom forever.
Six surefire strategies to snare an heiress.
“She Sneaked Into His House, and You Won’t Believe What She Found!”
“The Secret to A Rake’s Heart (It’s the Last Thing You’d Imagine!)”
“The Three Signs The Man Is Into You (and The One Thing You Can Do to Make Him See Only You!)”
“The Key to Turning A Bad Boy Into A Good Man (and the Reverse!)”
They told her not to go into the basement. What she did next will not surprise you at all!
Those sounds you hear at night? There’s a reason your skin is crawling. Click here to learn what you can do to save yourself! (H/T to the person who came up with “if your skin isn’t crawling, it’s on too tight,” one of my favorite lines.)
Reader, she married him. Find out what was REALLY hiding in Rochester’s attic!
“He’s more myself than I am.” You’ll never guess what Cathy said about Heathcliff!
*****
A moment for a rant:
A cooking blog I subscribe to began using “Click here, you know you want to,” at the end of her email messages, in order to bring readers to her site. I hated that phrase with all the fire of my being and refused to click for months. Now she’s changed it, but those words, those passive-aggressive words, made me crazy./rant
Rakes with no virgins in 3 years Must read this!!
These shifter vixens have gamekeepers in an uproar!!
Insta-cleavage corsets selling out fast!!
Braided Coil or Upswept Curls? These Viscounts Reveal the Unbelievable Truth About What Looks Shiver Their Netherclothes!
What Your Astrological Sign Says About Your Flirting Style! TSTL or Just Precocious and Headstrong? You May be an Aries! Restocking with Hidden Passions? We Bet You’re a Scorpio
^^^BLUESTOCKING! Damnit^^^
Disappointing first time? Vow to make it up to her with THIS all natural male-enhancing supplement!
How To Get His Mighty Barbarian Thews On You In 6 Easy Steps
A fireside Christmas proposal…but is it indecent? Click here!
The King’s Butler Tells All: How To Get the Royalty of Your Dreams
Tired of thinking, “I wish I knew how to quit you.”? Fifty ways to leave your lover!
From “I can’t stand you” to “I can’t stop thinking about your hair, dammit!” You won’t believe this one simple trick!
Buttercup and Wesley: When “As you wish” became “Inconceivable!” Revealed for the first time, the ugly truth behind their failed HEA and the real Pit of Despair.
****
So many things I’m supposed to be doing right now. This is much more fun.
His Wang Was Just Gigantic Until This Weird Thing Turned It Magical!
She Was SHOCKED To Learn It’s Perfectly Healthy And Normal To Want THIS!
Hopefully no one else has posted this yet (it was a LOT of comments to read by the time I got here…)
You Won’t Believe What They Found Under His Kilt!
The Last Guy She Banged to Find Happily Ever After!
She Had the Baby but Didn’t Tell Him; You Won’t Believe What Happened Next…
They’ve Been Friends Forever, Until he Did This with His Hands…
She Helped His Wife Run Away. You won’t believe What happened he her.
What happened in his phaeton made her phaent!
10 signs that furry blue alien is your soul mate!
Is your new boyfriend a dragon? Take this quiz!!!
She thought the new engineer hated her until they went on a mission together. Read this to see how he really sees her!!!
What colour is your starship?
She thought she had to choose between her vampire and werewolf friends. Until she saw THIS!!!
It’s the multiple exclamation marks that make the title…
10 Naughty Georgian Etchings – NSFW!
From Ingenue to Roue – What your beauty mark placement says about you
You won’t believe what happened under her panniers!
Six examples of daring decolletage – you won’t believe who’s wearing them!
Ten tips to follow to avoid being thought a blue stocking.
Beat out the other beauties – eight new harpsichord compositions sure to slay your competition
When watercolors aren’t enough – use these tricks to making him believe you have talent
Secret Confessions of a dance instructor – too crazy not to be true!
She thought she was helping someone out on the other side of the world by making a simple bank transfer, but several thousands of dollars later she’d found her Nigerian Prince Charming!
How to tell if your childhood best friend is your soulmate- take this quiz!
Traumatized heroine cured of her aversion to sex in one night- find out how!
@ Ellie – Maybe Jess Michaels? I have a TBR anthology – Lady Waverly’s Lovers that appears to have some rakish bi-sexuality.
Another entry:
Sexy Shenanigans in the Silicon Valley! See What Hot Nerds Do At Night!!
One-Eye Trouser Snakes! How to Charm Them!!
must get back to work ….
Which Nora Roberts novel are you? Take this quiz to find out!
We couldn’t believe what a gigantic boner this widowed duke had for his impoverished housekeeper, until we saw this!
Clickbait – ooh-hah-hah!!
Can this poor, hot man who can’t even afford a shirt ever find true love?
Why do so many women lust after this guy who orders his “true love” around and refers to her as his property? Click here to find out!
Don’t Tell Mom I’m Screwing My Stepbrother!
She thought she knew BDSM, until she saw this!
What this billionaire did made Christian Grey blush!
Take this quiz to see if your vampire is a mate or a wimp!
22 Big Misunderstandings that could have been avoided by a conversation!
See what your favorite earls look like with hipster beards and man buns!
37 Things that only dukes in need of a wife will understand!
12 Crimes you forgot these hotties committed before they found true love!
What they looked like BEFORE they were duchesses!
10 Signs Your Ex had your SECRET BABY!
(1)–She won’t let you in the front door when you drop by!
(2)–She turns over the picture frames on her desk when you come by her office!
(3)–Everyone in the small town you returned to acts strangely when her name comes up!
(4)–You are super famous and she didn’t have any contact number for you after your week in paradise!
(5)–You have an evil ex-girlfriend you got back together with shortly after sleeping with her!
(6)–Your mother always hated her, and was the one who told you she never wanted to see you again!
(7)–Your overprotective assistant who is secretly in love with you always tenses up when her name comes up!
(8)–She has a car seat in her car!
(9)–You see her at the grocery store with a cart full of go-gurt, applesauce squeezes, gold fish and Annie’s mac and cheese!
(10)–You constantly told her that you never wanted kids!
Warning Signs You May Have Missed If Your Boss Is A Gay Dinosaur: MUST READ
7 Simple ways to ruin yourself into freedom.
3 Easy Ways to Cockblock that TSTL Heiress Who’s After YOUR Earl!
She Thought Disguising Herself As a Boy Was the Key to Catching Her Father’s Killer…Until THIS Happened!
You Won’t Believe the Duke’s Secret Identity!
Want to Land a Billionaire? Six Ways to Get Him in Handcuffs By Midnight
Think He Has a Secret Baby? Here’s How to Find Out
She Expected the Worst from Her Marriage of Convenience–She Never Expected THIS to Happen
Was the Lady skinny dipping at mid-night? Click to find out!
You thought your parents were strict? Wait until you see what her step-mom made her do – and how he saved her from them!
Was she sleeping or was she faking? Exclusive details inside!
Does White = Vanilla? Not according to her seven friends. You be the judge!
Making your boy toy lie – why you want to & the benefits of unexpected protuberances.
Will it be the Hunk or the Hairy one? You won’t believe which one she chose and why!