This cover came to us from anonymous, and we salute anonymous with all the anonymous wine glasses.
RedHeadedGirl: ….
What….exactly… is the dark void?
Sarah: Ummmm.
RedHeadedGirl: It’s the butt, isn’t it?
Carrie: Is that really a question you want answered?
RedHeadedGirl: no
Carrie: Well then
RedHeadedGirl: I have some anatomy questions
Carrie: I like how the tall guy looks super bored or possibly mortified and the short guy seems to find something in his line of sight to be terribly amusing.
RedHeadedGirl: One: why does the short one’s 6 pack start at his armpits?
Two: why does short dude look like he has a forked dick?
Elyse: They have matching friendship necklaces tho…
Amanda: Yeah, I’m sorry. I can’t stop staring at short dude’s speedo long enough to form a coherent sentence.
Elyse: Her boob…
Amanda: Is disorderly.
Elyse: It’s a different color than the rest of her dress!
Redheadedgirl: There’s a lot going on with that dress
The bodice, the skirt, and the sleeves are all different fabrics.
Sarah: I keep looking at it, scrolling down, scrolling up, looking again, and everything in the composition seems to be pointing at her boob, right? It’s not just me?
Redheadedgirl: Is he wearing a disco shirt?
Elyse: Is she smelling his nipple?
Sarah: Why are they so shiny?
Amanda: It looks like he’s gently trying to push her away. “Ma’am, please. Stop.”
Sarah: Blue wolf? Why? Why blue?
Elyse: Why Colorado?
Redheadedgirl: IDK
It’s not exactly where one expects Vikings.
Of any hue.
Amanda: I just wish we could pan up and discover it’s Tobias Funke.
Elyse: So, to summarize: he’s a neon blue, red-haired Viking-wolf from Colorado.
Redheadedgirl: I mean, if we’re judging by the cover.
Elyse: That sounds like a prompt you’d give an improv group
Redheadedgirl: We are judging by the cover.
Carrie: Nothing about this says Viking to me. Alien, maybe. Or dude at rave who is very committed to his lifestyle. But not Viking. Not even Pict, and they actually did paint themselves blue – but not glow in the dark blue.
Also, nothing about this says wolf, and like the rest of you, I ask, why Colorado? But now I wondering: if this series involves all fifty states, what did the other states get? And I’m down this OCD rabbit hole of thinking of a list of fifty kinds of romance heroes that could be in a series. So…good job, cover? I still don’t want to read the book, but my day has been completely derailed.
Also, for book #3 I have to ask: Would a Lord really wear that shirt??? It’s … Interesting … To say the least… I mean, Bertie Wooster might wear it to annoy Nerves, but… I can’t see a hot Lord wearing these!
I just keep sniggering over Robert *Cummings* as one of the authors of the first book. Because I’m 5 years old, apparently.
Speaking of 5, there are 5 of you and 4 books here. What you say you each take one to read and report back to us? One of you will be horribly disappointed to miss out, but maybe next time.
Cover #3 looks like ‘Drunk Loving the Marquess”. When love seem impossible sober…
He is hoping she hasn’t passed out yet as tries placing her hand towards his little Marquess.
I thought the short guy’s speedo was showing off his balls, but where’s the rest? Is he an Unsullied who lost the pillar but not the stones?
Seriously, we need to name 50 types of romance heroes NOW.
1. Duke
2. Highwayman
3. Pirate
4. Cop
5. Outlaw
6. FBI/other government agent
7. Navy SEAL or other special forces
8. Knight
9. Werewolf/shifter
10. Vampire
11. Angel
12. Demon
13. Scot (not a profession, but might as well be)
14. Down-Home Country Boy
15. Doctor
16. Prince
17. Motorcycle-riding, tattooed bad guy
18. Spy
19. Revenge Seeker
20. Sheikh
21. Royal Navy ship captain
22. Smoldering Latin Lover
23. Sports star
24. Rock star
25. Cowboy
26. Detective
27. Inheritance Seeker
28. Injured/handicapped hero
29. Boxer/prize fighter/MMA fighter
30. The Atoner
31. Viking
32. Scientist
33 . . .
What else? I’m . . . a little disturbed that there were 32 different types of romance hero on standby in my brain.
33. Billionaire!
34. Beta hero, all cuddly and sweet
35. Any type of military
36. Librarian (true story! So cute!)
37. Earl
38. Assassin
39. Veterinarian
40. Bratva member
41. Gargoyle
42. Greek shipping magnate
43. Lawyer
44. Secret Society grand master
45. Artist
The cover models on Dark Void just look so uncomfortable. It’s like they’re both thinking, “Gah, the jobs I’ve gotta do to make rent money.”
Also, I see a bat signal tattoo on the tall guy so now I wonder if this is Batman and Robin slash fiction.
I am picturing the conversation at the photo shoot for Dark Void–
Photographer: So put your arms around each other.
Tall Guy: I don’t think so.
Photographer: Try to look loving.
Short Guy: Could I get a bigger pair of undies?
Photographer: How’s this — just try to look at each other.
Tall Guy: Jesus, what if anyone I know sees this picture?
Short Guy: This thong thingy makes my dick look so weird — it’s kind of funny.
46. Firefighter
47. Lumberjack
48. Teacher/coach
49. Politician
50. Contractor
37. Stepbrother
38. Convict
39. Priest
Oh dear, what am I reading at the moment that these lovlies sprung to mind? Off to revise my reading list…………
Wyoming, Alaska and Oklahoma also get blue wolves, according to the author’s website. Which I had to go check out. I recommend checking out the cover of Illinois….
IS Disorderly Lady’s fella wearing a shiny curtain? Seriously, that is not a shirt. A satin shawl? Wait, i got it…he’s tangled in a frilly pillow sham!!!
46. Firefighter
47. Priest
48. Paranormal Investigator
49. Stripper/Male Escort
50. Rake
Haha! Sonya and I both made Firefighter #46 😉
Genie – ah, Illinois, my state has so much to be proud of.
My favorite is Texas – what’s with the quotation marks dotting the i’s in Billionaire? Hey baby, yeah, I’m totally a “Billionaire” for reals.
Or is it because he’s A “Russian Billionaire” considering the current exchange rate, he’s only worth about $14 mil?
OK, it’s been fun, but I wasted enough time down this rabbit hole – darn you B*tches! (says this knowing I’ll be back for more)
How funny is it that I never looked at the cover of my ebook of HER VIKING WOLF? It’s a great story and I recommend it. The Viking in question is a shapeshifter (werewolf) who time travels from the past and someplace like Norway, Denmark or the likes, to Colorado. The present day shifters are in hiding in places that are amenable to wolf populations. The heroine is a PoC and ends up traveling back with him.
So, Pict-inspired cover or not, it’s a good book and one instance where you might overlook the cover art 🙂
Just my due centimes 🙂
I think the Disorderly Lady had to sew her dress from curtains, à la Scarlett in Gone With The Wind. In fact, being a fiery redhead, she wasn’t deterred by her family’s impoverished circumstances, she decided to sew her whole wardrobe for the Season from curtains from her ancestral castle. Alas, on account of her being disorderly, she mixed up pieces of different curtains and ended up with that mismatched dress. Fortunately the hero and his shiny ruffle shirt don’t care about that, or about the fact that she’s wearing her grandma’s lace doily around her neck…
I know you already made it to 50…
51. The Widower (perhaps with well behaved or hateful children)
52. Bodyguard
53. Warrior of “the past” trapped in a statue or some other work of art.
54. Broke dude with a castle and or manor
I was assuming Colorado blue was directly inspired by the huge blue rearing stallion statue with glowing red eyes at the Denver Colorado airport. (If you’ve never seen this freaky thing – absolutely google Colorado Airport Horse RIGHT NOW.)
But now you guys say other states have blue heroes in this series as well, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
There can be only one freaky blue airport stallion.
50+. Noble Savage (thanks, Cassie Edwards . . . ugh)
51. Explorer
52. Astronaut!
I can’t stop thinking about Avatar whenever I look at the cover of Her Viking Wolf. It’s like one of the rejected concepts for the movie posters was turned into a romance novel cover.
Thank you, you all made my day with Cover Snark exchanges. In the list of 50 Heroes was there a Nerd (who is amazingly hot on second look?) Please keep snarking…Happy New Year
Just to sum up then:
1. Duke
2. Highwayman
3. Pirate
4. Cop
5. Outlaw
6. FBI/other government agent
7. Navy SEAL or other special forces
8. Knight
9. Werewolf/shifter
10. Vampire
11. Angel
12. Demon
13. Scot (not a profession, but might as well be)
14. Down-Home Country Boy
15. Doctor
16. Prince
17. Motorcycle-riding, tattooed bad guy
18. Spy
19. Revenge Seeker
20. Sheikh
21. Royal Navy ship captain
22. Smoldering Latin Lover
23. Sports star
24. Rock star
25. Cowboy
26. Detective
27. Inheritance Seeker
28. Injured/handicapped hero
29. Boxer/prize fighter/MMA fighter
30. The Atoner
31. Viking
32. Scientist
33. Billionaire
34. Beta hero, all cuddly and sweet
35. Any type of military
36. Librarian
37. Earl
38. Assassin
39. Veterinarian
40. Bratva member
41. Gargoyle
42. Greek shipping magnate
43. Lawyer
44. Secret Society grand master
45. Artist
46. Firefighter
47. Lumberjack
48. Teacher/coach
49. Politician
50. Contractor
51. The Widower (perhaps with well behaved or hateful children)
52. Bodyguard
53. Warrior of “the past” trapped in a statue or some other work of art.
54. Broke dude with a castle and or manor
55. Noble Savage
56. Explorer
57. Astronaut
58. Dragon Shifter
59. Star Ship Captain
60. Merchant Marine
I note that Her Viking Wolf is 99 cents on Amazon and there is a staggeringly large collection of blue heroes. Please note that Alaska gets a trilogy, perhpas because it is the largest state.
All the other books in the series are considerably more expensive.
My own contribution to cover snark is the hero with, apparently, two right arms:
http://www.lucymonroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Regency-Scandals-BS-3D.jpg
That’s the larger size, but in case that URL doesn’t work:
http://www.lucymonroe.com/lucys-latest/regency-scandals-box-set-touch-me-tempt-me-take-me/
Click on the pic for a larger size.
Race car driver
Chauffeur
Surgeon (the GOD of all Doctors)
Pool boy
Landscaper
Valet who’s actually Duke
Mechanic
Wilderness Guide
Ski instructor
Paramedic
Investigative Journalist
Warlock
B&B Owner people secretly believe is gay but isn’t
Ice climber
…
Man orphaned as a child, left with nothing but four younger siblings to put through college who succeeds at it.
Scrolling through these heroes, I do believe I’ve read books in which everyone of these guys has been featured.
@Coco has been reading her classic Jayne Anne Krentz.
Adding: Actor
Archaeologist
Archangel
Chef
Cyborg
Forest Ranger
Movie Director
Photographer
Tattoo Shop Owner/Artist
And while the cover of the Illinois book makes one wonder if that’s a sword strapped to his back or stabbing him in the neck, the fact is, based on what’s going on right now, he’d be blue, too.
I’m not seeing rancher on the list. Cowboy is there, but I believe rancher needs a special mention. That way you get the landowner element in there, and can include subsets of American (US), South American, and Australian ranchers.
I was excited to see Greek shipping magnate on the list. That’s been a Harlequin/M&B staple since the beginning, along with sheiks, Italians, and Sicilians.
OK, I confess that I went to Amazon to check out Her Viking Wolf with the intention of buying it (which I did), but right there on the same page was a blue man book for my state! Maybe it’s because I’m so bummed that have to work thru the holidays, but I was inordinately thrilled at the sight. And bought that one, too. 🙂
adding:
prehistoric animal (t-rex and friends)
porn star
amish
male model
photographer
boy next door/neighbour
dom/master
pilot
male steward
government officials (e.g. senator, etc)
i’ve read several weird romance lately so don’t judge me. 😀
@christian, um… you want a romance novel with a prehistoric animal as the hero? Not judging your fantasy at all, just wondering how that would work. Wouldn’t a t-rex, for example, eat the heroine? And not in a good way.
@gloriamarie LOL. No… romance (mostly erotica) that involves prehistoric animals are two years or so ebook trend. I read one or two out of curiosity.
If you haven’t heard about this, check this:
http://www.amazon.com/Taken-T-Rex-Dinosaur-Erotica-Christie-ebook/dp/B00FI9JFFO
@christian, I guess I am failing to understand you. Are the prehistoric animals the heroes or an erotic prop, as are bindings, paddles, etc?
Either way, still wondering how that would work. Was time travel involved I wonder? Would you be willing to list titles?
@gloriamarie actually, as weird it sounds, most of these books are about dinosaurs and women having sex. some called the niche genre as dinosaur erotica, some called is beast erotica.
the most known authors of the genre are: christie sims and alara branwen. NY MAG interviewed them on 2013.
http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/10/qa-the-women-who-write-dinosaur-erotica.html
@christian, <<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
Going back to contemplating the hero with two right arms
http://www.lucymonroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Regency-Scandals-BS-3D.jpg
OK, here’s some more I haven’t spotted yet (apologies if I missed them above somehow):
Spy
Stevedore
Merman
Magician
Hairdresser/beautician
Voyageur
Fire Lookout
Lighthouse Keeper
Hermit
Might as well come out and say it, I like me an Isolated Hero type of guy 🙂
@julia OMG, Merman?! Can you recommend me title(s) that features merman? I’ve never read any of it before. Sounds interesting. 😀
Five more hero occupations:
Dancer(Heidi Cullinan is responsible for this.)
Musical composer (Heidi Cullinan again, what can I say?)
Pilot
Ex-Mafia (his father groomed him for it, but he somehow got away.)
Student (all those YA guys who haven’t found themselves yet.)
Okay, being a student isn’t exactly an occupation, but for a 17-year-old, isn’t that their job?