You did it! We figured this one out! It is a truth universally acknowledged (by me for certain) that the Bitchery pretty much knows everything, and really, it's true. Scroll down to see the solution for this HaBO - and many thanks!
This HaBO is from SpinThePickle, who wants to find this romance for obvious reasons:
A friend lent me a book in high school (late 90s) and it was definitely more her kind of book than mine (soapy/makjang). I don’t remember it being bad exactly, but I didn’t love it either. There was one scene in particular that stood out for its WTF-ery.
The book was set in another land, most likely an imaginary one.
Set up is standard enough: Scorned lover plots to sabotage the relationship between hero/heroine by making sure heroine catches them in a compromising position.
Here is where it gets weird: Scorned Chick tells Hero she needs his help because she’s lost a bracelet (possibly a ring, but definitely something shiny) INSIDE HER VAGINA and needs his help finding it.
He’s obviously an idiot because he AGREES to her request. I seem to remember him being like, “this means nothing” while he’s kneeling between her legs “helping” her. Later to the shocked heroine, he’s all, “it wasn’t what you think!”
There you go. WTF.
Well that gives new meaning to the term “jewelry box.” Someone surely has to remember this one.
If it is in fact Mistress of the Eagles by Elona Malterre can someone at the bitchery please, please, please review it? Pssst, RHG.
I hope that’s it! (and not just because it will be the first time I ever got one of these :))
Too bad it is out of print. I so want to read it, but I am not going to pay $3.99 for shipping.
Lots of reviews here:
http://www.amazon.com/Mistress-Eagles-Elona-Malterre/dp/0440503086
and here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1914784.Mistress_of_the_Eagles?ac=1
Oh man!! I really hope that that’s it because I also just ordered a used copy via Amazon. I can’t wait!!!
It is “Mistress Of The Eagles” I still have my trade paperback from 1990 when I first read it. I had to go digging through the bookshelves to find it. It scandalized me quite a bit in my much younger days when I was on a steady diet of Johanna Lindsey and such books. This is NOT a romance book per se and there probably should be about 100 hundred trigger warnings attached to it as I remember.
The first page (apart from the prologue) alone has this doozy of a sentence “When the seasons of the moon came on Finola, her mother gave her a sleeping potion and paid one of the male servants to climb into Finola’s bed in the middle of the night and spread her thighs and touch her.” Finola is not the heroine, I should mention, and I think she is the one who ends up asking for “help” with the bracelet. (Something that shocked and confused my younger self greatly).
This is a historical novel with some romantic elements, and a lot of very earthy and often violent stuff. There are a number of characters involved and bad things happen to many of them. The heroine is very independent and interesting however and carves out a very male-like career for herself as a ship’s Captain. She’s no pushover but smart and often ruthless. It’s not a gently romantic book by any means as it is very graphic, the hero and heroine aren’t together continuously or monogomously and life is depicted as often hard and bloody but for those up for more of a saga it’s definitely an interesting read.
Christine, wait, huh? So many questions. “Seasons of the moon?” I’ve heard moon time used to describe the time of the month when a woman is menstruating. Is that what is meant? Why would Finola’s mother pay a footman to touch her?
OTOH, you intrigue me. Too bad it is out of print.
I’ve checked this thread for days b/c I had to know. Thank you for solving it!
The cover – there’s a tiger on the cover! – and yet, even with the gold leaf AND A TIGER, somehow the cover seems fairly tasteful for the era. Sky O’Malley with a tiger is what I’m thinking.
@Lulu, I feel you! *hug* may it get easier for the both of us. Thanks bitches, for all you do. <3
@Gloramarie- sorry to be confusing. Yes, that is exactly what seasons of the moon means. Her mother commands it unbeknownst to Finola who is drugged ( and threatens the servant with death if he actually deflowers her). The result is it makes her “insatiable” and she becomes what we would now refer to as a “sex addict” later on. Don’t ask me to explain the logic behind this. In any case she becomes obsessed with the guy who is the “hero” because he is the only one that ever satisfied her. Which is why she pulls the whole bracelet maneuver later on to break up the hero and heroine.
I should have mentioned this book is set in 15th century Ireland. The first chapter starts in 1446.
The writing is better than than Skye O’Malley books and the heroine is much smarter, tougher and resourceful than any of Bertrice Small’s characters. She really doesn’t take any malarkey from men and never gets raped or thrown into a harem (as I recall). She chooses the two men in her life and when one she picks (after the bracelet incident breaks her and the guy who is really her counterpart up) becomes a whiny lush and complains about her not being affectionate and wifely I remember she says to him “how can you love a man who comes to you with a limp fish from drinking?” It’s awful and funny at the same time and quite a difference from the wimpy submissive heroines of a lot of books at the time.
There is a lot of crazy in the book but a lot of interesting stuff too.
@Anna Richland – yes the heroine is a captain of her own ship and the tiger is a gift from the hero. He gets mad at one point because it is a “wild animal” and he thinks she is taming/making too much of a pet out of it.
It’s definitely several cuts above the Skye O’Malley books. It has an intricate plot with a lot of characters. There is a lot of sex mentioned but the whole book is not based around the sex. It’s supposed to be earthy and rough like the times she is describing. Very unsentimental most of the time. I did like the heroine as I mentioned before and I think it’s worth the read for anyone who likes sagas and doesn’t mind the violence etc.
@Christine, thanks for the additional information. This certainly sounds like a complex book.
Is there any explanation for the timing of the mother’s actions? Why during Finola’s menses in particular? Things were less, shall we say, hygienic in the fifteenth century. I’ve know plenty of men who are completely turned off at that time and I am wondering how the footman felt about it.
I think the “seasons of the moon” thing meant that she was old enough to menstruate, not that the servant did this only when she had her period. I think the goal was that she would be very seductive and irresistible.
BTW, the mother also murdered her (the mother’s) first husband, and it was said so casually at the beginning of the book, I almost missed it.
Goodness gracious, this story just gets ever more complex!!
So, because she was ‘touched’ after she went into puberty, she became insatiable? I wonder if it was some sort of ritual or spell or something, because otherwise there would be a lot of horny women around.
Sounds like an interesting book, that’s for sure!
Excuse me while I trip over myself to find this on Amazon at a cheap rate.