Knitting Pattern: Smart Bitches Think Pink Cowl

In case you can’t tell, I really like cowls (they keep my boobies warm!). Here’s a pattern for a mohair cowl I knit back when I was recovering from surgery. That’s right, I knit this puppy on Percocet. Go me and my functional narcotic use!

We’ll be using 3 colors of mohair yarn to make a 6 color ombré cowl.

Circular Needles

Things you will need:

size 7 circular needles – I recommend lace needles like Addi Turbo lace because the pointer tip will help with this project.

3 skeins of mohair lace weight yarn (approximately 220 yds each) in complimenting colors. I recommend Rowan Kidsilk Haze, Debbie Bliss Angel or Knit Picks Aloft

A fancy-schmantzy button (I got mine at JoAnns)

A tapestry needle for weaving in ends

A stitch marker. My cat, Dewey, prefers these for eating

Note: I stash-busted for this project. I used Debbie Bliss Angel #15 Pale Pink, Rowan Kidsilk Haze #583 Blushes and Knit Picks Aloft color Fairytale.

Instructions:

1. Pour a nice cup of tea or a mocha. You deserve it.

2. Split each ball of yarn into two balls (wind a new ball until both the new and old ball are approximately the same size). You now have 6 balls of yarn– 2 light pink, 2 medium pink and 2 dark pink.

3. Holding two strands of light pink together (using both balls) cast on 300 and join in the round. Use a stitch marker to mark where you joined.

4. Knit 11 rows. Note that for this project you will always use 2 strands held together. Since we’re knitting in the round, we don’t need to purl. Yay!

5. Drop one strand of light pink and add one strand of medium pink. Knit another row, knitting every 20th stitch together (K 20, k2tog).

6. Knit 10 more rounds holding one strand light pink, one strand medium pink.

7. Drop the light pink strand. Pick up another strand of medium pink (holding 2 medium pinks now). Knit another round, knitting every 19th stitch together (K 19, k2tog)

8. Knit 10 more rounds holding 2 strands of medium pink.

9. Drop one strand of medium pink and pick up a strand of dark pink. Knit one round, knitting every 18th stitch together (K 18, k2tog).

10. Still holding one strand medium pink and one strand dark pink, knit 10 more rows.

11. Drop the medium pink strand and pick up another dark pink (you’re holding 2 strands of dark pink now). Knit one round, knitting every 17th stitch together (K 17, k2tog).

12. Knit 10 more rounds holding 2 strands of dark pink. Bind off.

13. You can wash and block if you want to, you can leave your friends behind…

14. Fold one end of the cowl over on itself and sew on the button (you’re sewing through the cowl so it stays folded).

Elyse's pink fluffy cowl with a big sparkly button on it

Et voila. Cowl!

Bonus: if coiled the right way, it’ll look like a giant fuzzy vulva!

Pink fuzzy cowl folded so it looks just like a giant fuzzy vulva

Please send us your finished projects, we so love seeing them – inappropriately posed in the snow or not. Happy knitting!


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Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    ijinx says:

    This looks delightful! Thanks for the hint about the knittability when on drugs – I’ll try it out when we’re celebrating Christmas with my husband’s family.
    I was a bit disappointed that there was no inspirational picture of a good looking man to go with the instructions. It makes me worry a bit whether this cowl will ever be as good as the other things I made from your patterns. We’ll see. Maybe I can work with Chris Hemsworth pics or Richard Armitage.

  2. 2
    Ocotilla says:

    Thankfully, I had already consumed my daily mug of chai, otherwise I would have spewed it all over my laptop screen after reading the “if coiled the right way it’ll look like a giant fuzzy vulva”

  3. 3
    Darlynne says:

    I made your Outlandish cowl last week, Elyse, the 12-hour version because I’m nowhere near as fast as you are. It is gorgeous, also too big because I didn’t understand that it’s like a giant, well, cowl; I kept thinking it had to be bigger so I could wrap it around my neck, right? So I’ll pull out the seam and a number of rows, then put it back together, smaller. That’s my plan. But I just had to tell you how beautiful it is. Thanks!

  4. 4
    Kathy says:

    If ever there were a reason to have a super girl crush, it would be you Elyse. Lovely work…

  5. 5
    Antonia says:

    This, like your other patterns, is fabulous! Hurrah for cowls, anatomically correct or otherwise, and for your patterns in general!! @sea_otter3

  6. 6
    Tam B. says:

    I’m not sure if I’m ready for knitting in the round (I’m a total newbie), but this may inspire me to try. After knitting a cowl for everyone for Christmas I decided to branch out (I’ve only knitted your patterns) and found a beanie pattern I understood, (I don’t speak knitting fluently), and finished it yesterday. More amazingly, it looks like a beanie!

    Just in case anyone is looking for such a pattern this is where I found it:
    craftbits.com/project/charity-pattern-basic-adults-knitted-beanie

  7. 7

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