We’re getting closer to our 10th anniversary in January 2015, so it’s time for another retrospective tour through the most popular content from the past decade.
Many thanks to Morgan Doremus from Miss Media for digging through the archives and coming up with all this fun stuff.
In April, we looked at the most popular reviews for contemporary romance – which were many of those with low grades – D-, F+ or F.
In May, we looked at the most popular historical reviews, all of which were given very high grades.
In June, we looked at more of your favorite reviews, some with high grades, some not, but all with a lot of chortles built in.
In July, we featured an assortment of Wait, What? Book reviews, videos, and more.
In September, we examined some of the most popular pieces of cover snark and cover art contests.
Now it’s time for another tour through the way-way-back machine. You ready? This month we have some book rants, some WTF reviews, and other bits of SBTB history that remain among the most-visited parts of the site.
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Killer Temptation by Nina Bruhns Part 1 & Part 2
Book Rant by Pig
The book rant in two parts begin with a bang. Or a nap. With Clamato.
She walks off the boat and finds this guy dead in a hammock. Blood all over his chest, we’re told. She screams. Her friends think she’s waving them off,
so they wave back. Leaving her all alone on the tropical island with the empty resort and a dead guy. And a fridge full of beer. We can’t forget the beer. What is Fiji without beer.
But the guy, it turns out, isn’t dead. He’s just napping. And in the process of napping, he spills his Bloody Mary on his shirt. Because the two–blood and Clamato–look SO MUCH ALIKE. It also explains how he got “stabbed” with a celery stalk.
I am not making this shit up.
There should be more romances with Clamato. Seriously.
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Player’s Ultimatum by Koko Brown
Grade: F
Reviewed by: Sarah
This self-published sports romance was reviewed both at DA and Smart Bitches, and Jane and I both disliked it intensely. I found the portrayal of the heroine’s gay friend offensive, to say nothing of the language used to describe him, the hero, and the heroine herself. Then there are the absurd grammatical and spelling errors, such as the hero’s name being spelled different ways in different chapters, and the modifiers dangling all over the place.
And AND AAAAND the part where the hero is both a butt man and a foot man (not like he’s a footman – he’s into feet):
“Her feet were tiny and topped off with pale nail polish. Not seeing any visible corns or bunions, Paulo mentally checked that off his list. An admitted foot man, her feet were definitely lickable.”
Alrighty then. An avowed butt man, and also an admitted foot man. No corns and bunions with the jiggly ass. Pauolo (sp?) is a well-rounded connoisseur of women. Pity he doesn’t notice much about about their personalities.
I think the feeling of, “Wait, there are all these 4- and 5-star reviews… why am I disliking this so much? Did I read the wrong book?” is universal, and both Pig and I had that feeling with these books.
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A Stolen Season by Tamara Gill
Grade: F
Reviewed by: Sarah
This book was completely baffling, in part because there were so many continuity errors it made Twister, a movie in which a dog appears in two cars at the same time, look linearly perfect. This is a time travel adventure romance with a LOT of confusion.
There is so much confusion, in fact, that when I stopped reading it, folks asked me to revealing the ending. I did, but it’s in white text at the bottom of the review, so highlight to read, k?
Ordinarily I’d have stopped reading and thought, OK, this book doesn’t work for me, moving on. It’s not like I’m short things to read over here. But because the reviews are so distant from my own reading experience, I was determined to keep reading even though I was not enjoying this book at all. I wanted to keep looking for the things that made reviewers so excited, and try to figure out why I don’t see them.
There are continuity errors, leaps in logic, an unfeeling, unsympathetic heroine, and many other small problems that combine to make me angry at everyone in the book. But because the reviews were so positive and complimentary, I keep reading it, thinking that it was me who was missing something. Then I kept reading because I wanted to know how the plot would be resolved, and I knew one of the characters would tell me. They told me everything, really….
This book also contained one of my favorite sentences ever: His dark brown hair was longer than the other gentlemen present….
We need more Clamato AND more Cousin It romance, right? Right….
We’ll be back with one more trip through the hallowed archives (which are a LOT easier to find and navigate now, thank heavens!!) in December, and then, on January 30th, we’ll celebrate 10 years of Bitchery.
Do you have a favorite entry that hasn’t been featured yet? Is there a review or page you revisit a lot? Which one?
Whether you joined us this week or 10 years ago, I’m so happy you’re here. Thanks for being part of the site.
One of my favorite reviews is the March 4, 2013 review of North & South.
(Be still my beating, thumping, bleeding heart!) It introduced me to Richard Armitage, Elizabeth Gaskell’s novels and the BBC’s 4 episode mini series. I have watched and read and obsessed and recommended North & South to everyone that I can get to stand still long enough for me to convince them to run to their library/bookstore/etc. to rent or buy a copy of both the book and the DVD.
Just for shits and giggles, how about the books (good, bad or just plain funny) which feature blooper scenes.
Bodily functions which go awry, falls, slips, etc. The realness can sometimes work and sometimes be a huge flop.
Queefs?!!!
That could be a fun entry/topic. Start our new years out laughing.
As far as one a place (gone now) that always prompted laughter, The Romance Man. This blog was brought to my attention, and brought so much laughter I made it a point to start my day there over coffee.
I’ll totally admit, I’m a stresser. I don’t see the glass half full or empty. I see it getting smacked off the table to shatter on the floor. So, I’m usually prepping the back up glass so when it happens, its not a biggie. 😉
But your place also usually brings smiles. I need my smiles.
🙂
I believe all of my favorite reviews have already been featured–Decadent, The Playboy Sheikh’s Virgin Stable Girl, and the Cassie Edwards book with the memory erasing flowers and the flute of love (apparently those flowers are also title erasing because I can’t remember it for the life of me). I’m constantly telling people they need to read them.
Doc Turtle’s review of JR Ward’s book was the posting that brought me to the Pink Palace of Bitchery and will forever be a favorite for me.