I realize I don’t have to defend romance novels to this crowd. You’re either at Smart Bitches because you already enjoy the genre or you got here by mistake and are deeply confused (welcome to the Hot Pink Palace of Bitchery, we have mantitty. And also cookies). I am feeling all the rage though, and need to vent.
Every now and again there are some super shitastic articles posted about why adults should be ashamed to read YA or romance or magazines or what have you. Every time it brings back all my romance novel put-down PTSD.
I can’t tell you the number of times people have questioned my taste in reading. For some reason people think it’s totally okay to be super crappy about my choice in books — “Oh my God, why are you reading that?” — but would consider making a similar comment about my choice in clothes too rude to say to my face.
These are the things people have said to me about reading romance novels:
“But you're too smart for books like that.”
“Why would you want to waste your time reading trash when there are so many good books out there.”
“Romance novels are just smut/trash/girl porn”
“You're wasting your degree by not reading serious fiction.”
So here we go.
My name is Elyse. I have a BA in literature. I am a feminist. I have achieved professional success in a male-dominated industry. I am married. I sometimes eat cookies for breakfast. I read romance novels almost to the exclusion of all other books.
I am an adult and I do not need anyone to tell me what I should or should not be reading.
That should end the argument right there. I don’t need anyone’s opinion or judgment on my reading tastes (other than “Oh, I really like that author, too” or “I didn’t care for that book in particular”). But since I will continue to get comments on airplanes and trains and sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, here are some of my responses.
1. “But you’re a feminist!”
You bet I am. People who believe there is something anti-feminist about romance novels clearly have never read one or lack some serious reasoning skills. This is a genre primarily written for women by women. And, yes, romance novels are a fantasy, an escape (some of the time). So why the ever loving shit would a bunch of women write a fantasy about being oppressed/ mistreated/ unempowered for other women? That makes about as much sense as writing children’s books titled Fluffy the Bunny Gets Run Over by the Lawn Mower or How Many Kitties Did the Shelter Euthanize This Year?
Romance novels, even the Old Skool rapey ones (although more problematic), were about women exercising choice. At their heart they are about women finding emotional and sexual fulfillment with a partner of their choice. For how much of human history has this actually been denied to women? In how many places is it still denied?
When my great-grandmother wanted to marry my great-grandfather she actually had to wait for him to be able to afford to buy her from the people who owned her “contract” (i.e. her person) as a domestic servant. This was in the United States, by the way. Three generations ago.
We are re-writing history with romance novels. Historicals create a narrative where a woman is empowered to choose her spouse or partner, where she consents to and enjoys sex. We are exploring history from the female viewpoint and creating fiction that is inclusive to women. In romance novels women are not silent; they are celebrated.
2. “Why don’t you read good/serious literature?”
What does that even mean?
I have a BA in literature. I’ve been a reader my entire life. I can tell you that a book being widely accepted as ‘intellectually challenging’ doesn’t make it so. It also doesn’t make it good. Wanna know a secret? I hate every book by Virginia Woolf, and I’ve read them all. Yup, she’s a smart, female author who had significant influence. She says some interesting things. I hated it. I hated Mrs. Dalloway and I really, really hated The Waves. I was okay with A Room of One’s Own, but only because it was less awful than everything else I read.
I’m sure I’ll get some responses to this like “Well, you just didn’t understand her.” Nope, I actually did understand her just fine. I passed that course with flying colors. I just couldn’t enjoy her writing style even a little bit.
Other supposedly great authors I hate: James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Henry Miller and Charles Dickens. I can read them. I can understand them. I’m not going to enjoy them.
Why? Because reading, like everything else, is subjective and a matter of taste. People may widely agree that these are great authors and they write great books, but there is actually nothing inherently good about them.
People who hate Charles Dickens are not wrong. People who love Twilight are not wrong. YOU CAN’T BE FUCKNIG WRONG WHEN YOU READ. Unless you completely miss the text and say something like “Great Expectations was about a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating a bi-plane,” but even then, if you can support your thesis, you can probably get away with it.
I wrote an honor’s thesis on Moby Dick. I spent an entire semester on The Dick, and really enjoyed it. I read classic Southern American literature for enjoyment. I don’t think any of those books are more valuable than my romance novels. I am not smarter for having read Moby Dick. It didn’t bump my IQ or make me a more thoughtful person. I would argue that reading in general—of any genre—did that.
Also a lot of “serious” literature is primarily written by and about men. That’s changing if you look at contemporary literary fiction (I hate using that label, but I’m not sure what else to call it). Just like pretty much everyone else, I like it when my fiction is representative of me and my experience. I like reading about women who aren’t being treated like total shit.
I remember finishing Tess D’Ubervilles and the fucking RAGE, man. Or Madame Bovary. Or basically 75% of what I had to read in high school. College was a little better because we delved more into contemporary literature, but in my experience, romance novels and mysteries offer the most empowered, engaged women in contemporary fiction.
Also “serious” fiction tends to be depressing. I don’t want to be depressed. Fuck that.
People who worry about only reading serious literature, in my opinion, are just afraid of the world thinking they are dumb. If you love Faulkner, get down with your bad self. If you read it because of judgment, well, then that’s pretty dumb, isn’t it? I’m only going to get to read so many books in my lifetime. I’d rather they be something I enjoy.
3. “But romance novels are trashy!”
This really means “romance novels depict women enjoying sex.” The fact that women enjoying sex is perceived as being “trashy” is THE WHOLE FUCKING PROBLEM.
It is 2014 and if a book contains graphic depictions of women enjoying sex, then it is scandalous. Let’s all just think about that for a minute.
I need another fucking cookie.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what I read. It doesn’t even matter that I do read, quite frankly. What matters is that we live in a world where fiction aimed directly at women is perceived as garbage. That doesn’t say anything at all about me, it says a lot about what needs to change.
So, what put-downs have you received? Have you had to defend your love of romances? (And would you like a cookie? We have plenty.)
No, I don’t remember any put-down in person. But it could be that I read very different books, so when people discover that I do also read romance novels, they accept it easily as an eccentricity of mine. What I find in literary blogs is different. They think that if your read an entertaining and simple book then you’re a simpleton, as well.
Have you realized that this thing only happens with books?
I mean, nobody cares -I think- if you watch an Ingmar Bergman’s or an Abbas Kiarostami’s movie as well as the last Hollywood’s blockbuster. Everybody accepts that there’s a moment for Mozart and another one for Bruce Springsteen. And you cannot be eating haut cuisine all day but also simple or even fast food.
When it comes to books? It looks like you have to be reading ‘complex & important & depressing’ things. They attack people who read genre books more viciously than they attack those people who do never read. Why?
I think the majority of readers enjoy different kind of books. But many are ashamed of reading suspense or sci-fi or romance novels, and only mention ‘high culture’ books. It’s what I call the Harold Bloom’s’ complex. They afraid of not looking cultivated enough. But you know what? It’s their problem, not ours.
BTW, when I read all those posts about the grades and education you’ve got, you reminded me of a post Laurie wrote in Laurie’s News & Views. The first paragraph says: I’ve begun to notice a peculiar phenomenon cropping up in the e-mails I receive from other readers. I’ve noticed it in my own posts and notes to others as well. It is that statement we make about our educational/working credentials just before (or just after) we mention our love for romantic fiction. It is part of the general apologetic and embarrassed stance we often take in reference to our love of the genre.
It was written in 1996. Eighteen years have passed and we keep on doing the same.
On a different note – This topic is so interesting that we speak about it once and again. It never ends. It’s very thought-provoking. I think I’d like to write something about it myself. But basically I’d like to add that I’m not very comfortable with something that -for me- is a false dychotomy -boring Literature against entertaining romance novels. There’s a lot of good Literature out there and it’s not boring. Four thousand years of incredible books and amazing stories. Whomever decided that James Joyce was the epythomy of a literary author did more harm than good to Literature.
On the other hand, not every romance novel is worth of our time & money. We, those who read and love the genre, should be the ones who criticize the problematic issues in it. Perhaps we could achieve respect towards the genre if we talk seriously about it saying what’s good and what’s wrong with it. I don’t know. It’s just an idea.
I have a BA in English, right now I started my MA and I’m also doing a BA in Scandinavian studies, and guess what? I love romance novels. They not only are entertaining, they also show me culture of another country (I’m from Poland) and I enjoy them A LOT. I have the right and also I take pleasure in picking what books I’m going to read, and most of time I pick romance novels or YA, because well, they have a female as a main character which is quite rare, especially in my country (not that Poland doesn’t have female characters, in Polish fanatsy there’re only few of them).
I’m an adult. I pick what I read. So, excuse my language, fuck people who judge me. I can read a Vonnegut’s novel and then read Eloisa James.
My money. My time. My fucking choice
Also yay for my first comment on Smart Bitches, love your site!
Marie: You’ve written 16 romance books! Trust me, that is more rare and more of an achievement than most degrees, which would be easier to obtain for the most part than that. Nothing to feel ashamed of with that.
@Erin That is a brilliant re-frame—and a new way of looking at it that will stick in my mind for the rest of my life. Thank you so much!!!!
Really late in this comment thread, but I don’t care 🙂 I am an RN. I see sadness, death, and lives torn apart every day. I want to come home and celebrate with life and love. Thus, I almost exclusively read romance. From Austen to LM Montgomery to erotica, I need that happy ending because I have to stay sane.
I’m going to school for a degree in English Writing and Literature. I am 22 years old, an avid feminist, getting married in November to a wonderful man, and I will not lie… Romance novels are the reason I asked my fiancee for a Kindle for my birthday last year. I wanted a way to read all my romance novels and not have anyone judge me for what I was reading. With a Kindle, they can’t see what I’m reading so they don’t even have to know.
The idea of the judgement I would get from others makes me sad know, knowing that I still care what others think, even if their opinion is unwanted.
I hid under the covers to read my mother’s romance novels even as early as High School and I still can’t tell people I enjoy them, for fear of negative judgement.
What’s up it’s me, I am also visiting this website regularly,
this website is genuinely pleasant and the users are truly sharing good thoughts.,
http://goo.gl/cJM1Kk