I realize I don’t have to defend romance novels to this crowd. You’re either at Smart Bitches because you already enjoy the genre or you got here by mistake and are deeply confused (welcome to the Hot Pink Palace of Bitchery, we have mantitty. And also cookies). I am feeling all the rage though, and need to vent.
Every now and again there are some super shitastic articles posted about why adults should be ashamed to read YA or romance or magazines or what have you. Every time it brings back all my romance novel put-down PTSD.
I can’t tell you the number of times people have questioned my taste in reading. For some reason people think it’s totally okay to be super crappy about my choice in books — “Oh my God, why are you reading that?” — but would consider making a similar comment about my choice in clothes too rude to say to my face.
These are the things people have said to me about reading romance novels:
“But you're too smart for books like that.”
“Why would you want to waste your time reading trash when there are so many good books out there.”
“Romance novels are just smut/trash/girl porn”
“You're wasting your degree by not reading serious fiction.”
So here we go.
My name is Elyse. I have a BA in literature. I am a feminist. I have achieved professional success in a male-dominated industry. I am married. I sometimes eat cookies for breakfast. I read romance novels almost to the exclusion of all other books.
I am an adult and I do not need anyone to tell me what I should or should not be reading.
That should end the argument right there. I don’t need anyone’s opinion or judgment on my reading tastes (other than “Oh, I really like that author, too” or “I didn’t care for that book in particular”). But since I will continue to get comments on airplanes and trains and sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, here are some of my responses.
1. “But you’re a feminist!”
You bet I am. People who believe there is something anti-feminist about romance novels clearly have never read one or lack some serious reasoning skills. This is a genre primarily written for women by women. And, yes, romance novels are a fantasy, an escape (some of the time). So why the ever loving shit would a bunch of women write a fantasy about being oppressed/ mistreated/ unempowered for other women? That makes about as much sense as writing children’s books titled Fluffy the Bunny Gets Run Over by the Lawn Mower or How Many Kitties Did the Shelter Euthanize This Year?
Romance novels, even the Old Skool rapey ones (although more problematic), were about women exercising choice. At their heart they are about women finding emotional and sexual fulfillment with a partner of their choice. For how much of human history has this actually been denied to women? In how many places is it still denied?
When my great-grandmother wanted to marry my great-grandfather she actually had to wait for him to be able to afford to buy her from the people who owned her “contract” (i.e. her person) as a domestic servant. This was in the United States, by the way. Three generations ago.
We are re-writing history with romance novels. Historicals create a narrative where a woman is empowered to choose her spouse or partner, where she consents to and enjoys sex. We are exploring history from the female viewpoint and creating fiction that is inclusive to women. In romance novels women are not silent; they are celebrated.
2. “Why don’t you read good/serious literature?”
What does that even mean?
I have a BA in literature. I’ve been a reader my entire life. I can tell you that a book being widely accepted as ‘intellectually challenging’ doesn’t make it so. It also doesn’t make it good. Wanna know a secret? I hate every book by Virginia Woolf, and I’ve read them all. Yup, she’s a smart, female author who had significant influence. She says some interesting things. I hated it. I hated Mrs. Dalloway and I really, really hated The Waves. I was okay with A Room of One’s Own, but only because it was less awful than everything else I read.
I’m sure I’ll get some responses to this like “Well, you just didn’t understand her.” Nope, I actually did understand her just fine. I passed that course with flying colors. I just couldn’t enjoy her writing style even a little bit.
Other supposedly great authors I hate: James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Henry Miller and Charles Dickens. I can read them. I can understand them. I’m not going to enjoy them.
Why? Because reading, like everything else, is subjective and a matter of taste. People may widely agree that these are great authors and they write great books, but there is actually nothing inherently good about them.
People who hate Charles Dickens are not wrong. People who love Twilight are not wrong. YOU CAN’T BE FUCKNIG WRONG WHEN YOU READ. Unless you completely miss the text and say something like “Great Expectations was about a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating a bi-plane,” but even then, if you can support your thesis, you can probably get away with it.
I wrote an honor’s thesis on Moby Dick. I spent an entire semester on The Dick, and really enjoyed it. I read classic Southern American literature for enjoyment. I don’t think any of those books are more valuable than my romance novels. I am not smarter for having read Moby Dick. It didn’t bump my IQ or make me a more thoughtful person. I would argue that reading in general—of any genre—did that.
Also a lot of “serious” literature is primarily written by and about men. That’s changing if you look at contemporary literary fiction (I hate using that label, but I’m not sure what else to call it). Just like pretty much everyone else, I like it when my fiction is representative of me and my experience. I like reading about women who aren’t being treated like total shit.
I remember finishing Tess D’Ubervilles and the fucking RAGE, man. Or Madame Bovary. Or basically 75% of what I had to read in high school. College was a little better because we delved more into contemporary literature, but in my experience, romance novels and mysteries offer the most empowered, engaged women in contemporary fiction.
Also “serious” fiction tends to be depressing. I don’t want to be depressed. Fuck that.
People who worry about only reading serious literature, in my opinion, are just afraid of the world thinking they are dumb. If you love Faulkner, get down with your bad self. If you read it because of judgment, well, then that’s pretty dumb, isn’t it? I’m only going to get to read so many books in my lifetime. I’d rather they be something I enjoy.
3. “But romance novels are trashy!”
This really means “romance novels depict women enjoying sex.” The fact that women enjoying sex is perceived as being “trashy” is THE WHOLE FUCKING PROBLEM.
It is 2014 and if a book contains graphic depictions of women enjoying sex, then it is scandalous. Let’s all just think about that for a minute.
I need another fucking cookie.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what I read. It doesn’t even matter that I do read, quite frankly. What matters is that we live in a world where fiction aimed directly at women is perceived as garbage. That doesn’t say anything at all about me, it says a lot about what needs to change.
So, what put-downs have you received? Have you had to defend your love of romances? (And would you like a cookie? We have plenty.)
I find it fascinating – in a crappy, depressing kind of way, not in a ‘I could read about this for hours’ kind of way – that whatever education a woman has, when she openly embraces romance fiction, there’s immediately something wrong with her intellect. That was one of the things that caused Candy and I to establish the site in the first place, that our passion for romances was so often met with, “But…you’re so smart…why do you read that?”
Even though I’ve been running this site for nearly 10 years, I still brace myself when someone asks what I do. I make sure I don’t have any food in my mouth, I’m not drinking anything, and I take a deep breath, because I don’t know what kind of response I’ll get. I’m usually ready for one of several response that would make me snarl, and in most cases, I’m not in a place where I can do that. I have a posture I almost assume – chin down, smile with teeth – like I’m ready for battle. It’s ridiculous, and I’m not in the least ashamed or embarrassed to talk about what I do, but I’m ready for the buttmonkery and brace myself for it every time.
I’ve noticed that more and more often, though, the person will respond positively rather than with suspicion, and talk about books they’ve loved, which is the best response ever.
(Though I do know that I have been referred to as “the smut blogger,” which…oh, yeah.)
Oh, my God, I love everything about this post! I spent years in grad school reading the classics and serious fiction. Many books I loved (yes to Moby Dick), and just as many I hated. One semester focused on 19th British fic. After reading 3 books by Thomas Hardy in a row I was ready to hang myself!
At a certain point, I finally realized that life was too short. I now primarily read romance (of all sorts), historical mystery, and romantic elements. If I know a certain book has a crappy or depressing ending, I don’t read it. And why the hell should I have to justify that to anyone?!
I love to read so much that I very carefully and purposefully did not study English lit in college because I was afraid doing so would end my love of reading.
My favorite part of this post and comments is seeing clearly that I am not alone (wow!) in my dislike of the novels of most of the dead white men of English lit.
What I know of the world is that reality contains a more than sufficient amount of disappointment, sorrow and heartbreak. I do not need that in my reading. Give me a HEA, every day.
Great fucking post…..hand me a cookie please!
I’m going to make a poster out your essay and post in my office.
@Jaime:
I have listed my degree too, but that’s not because I think that makes me more intelligent that someone who doesn’t have one, far from that. Intelligence has nothing to do with education, and your worthiness as a human being is not told by the list of your passed exams.
I do believe that all the people here who mentioned their degree and/or work did so because other people had expectations about what they should read, and what they don’t. A woman – a man – with a PhD, master, whatever, can “lower” herself to read “trash” literature? When we don’t meet expectations, that’s where the sniggering may begin. If I went so high as, say, being able to read Old French – and I did read various poems in Old French – why should I “lose my time” with Carla Kelly? Why am I not reading the Upanishads?
This is the feeling that prompted us to comment here, I believe: that romance is not what we “should” read, according to other people’s standards, yet we read it because we love it.
Like many of you, I’m an introvert and have never really liked talking about my reading preferences. I’m ashamed to admit that in years past I would easily claim to love historical fiction and mysteries and leave it at that. But then I decided to try writing a historical romance (and believe me, I knew it would not be easy and it most definitely isn’t). I even kept that a secret for quite some time, but you see, my husband likes to talk and he’s quite proud of the fact that I’ve written books. So everyone—my family, his family, his coworkers(!), our neighbors—know that I write romance. I must know the politest people in the world though because none of them have made a derogatory remark. Some are clearly eager to just leave things at “Congratulations” while others want to everything about what I do. It’s taken years but thanks to the wonderfully open romance community on the internet (like here) and a push from my spouse, I’m much more comfortable with being a romance reader and writer because as other have mentioned, “It’s my free time and I want to do what makes me happy in that time.”
Yes! So many truths in your essay. My son pointed out to me that everything he had to read in honors English was depressing. I regularly engage patrons in my library about quality writing in erotica. (Thanks to SBTB for helping me do my job) I too read fiction for fun. But then I also don’t watch depressing high brow movies.
Preach!
I can’t add anything else because you’ve said it all perfectly! You get a double helping of man tittie today, Elyse!
Posts like these are one of my favorite things about the Pink Palace. I love reading all the comments and being like “Yep.. yep… uh-huh…” as I read through. Since someone mentioned Betty Neels, could we have a “Which One First” for her books? I’d love to try one or two of hers but have no clue where to start. FYI, ladies, if you’re ever at Books A Million, look for the bookseller wearing a “Romance Rockstar” button – that person will be the one you want to talk to. 🙂 I love that we have buttons to let coworkers and customers know our areas of expertise.
A friend printed out the naughty bits from my book and wanted me to sign them. I looked at his wife and said I was happy to provide a guide for him and next time I’ll use simpler words and more exclamation points.
Earlier this year, my [minister] mother asked me point-blank if I wrote porn. I just flapped my jaw a few beats and shrugged. I was like, “Sure. Yeah.”
I get tired of justifying what I write and asked why I don’t write ___.
And…yep. I’m another one of those people with an English lit degree. (Believe it or not, memorizing passages of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in the original Middle English has turned out to be far less useful in my adult life than having learned algebra.)
I write what I like to read, and…I read what I want. I want HEAs. (And yes, I’ll have one of those fucking cookies.)
I’m cheering so loudly right now!
Yes.
At the moment I’m engaged in a discussion about consent, and teaching our children about consent, and one of the things that were brought up was that because women read “those Fabio novels” then it’s not the men’s fault if they rape them—those poor men were only doing what the romance novels said to do!
So many things wrong with that statement, but the mere fact that what we read is used to justify violence about women…the rage is epic!
So here, have some more cookies (I make really good cookies) and some ice cream for good measure.
I will freely admit, I judged a few friends for reading 50 Shades. BUT (but!) it was due to the writing quality and coattail riding off Twilight. I offered them other romance writer names who I thought did that type of thing better. But still, if someone wants to read 50 Shades, they should. The media circus around that book made it very evident that our culture fears women empowering themselves about sexuality. The very existence of the label “mommy porn” offends me so deeply. The infantilization and and belittling of women’s interests and likening to porn (and so what if it’s porn? Are women banned from porn but men get a pass?) is just so maddening.
Speaking to the Read What You Want, this weekend I attended a lit convention with childrens authors. Writer Trent Reedy shared via slideshow his favorite childhood book: Me and Katie (The Pest) by Ann M. Martin of Babysitters Club fame. In school, he was ridiculed for liking a “girl book” (the cover features 2 girls riding horses). Reedy went on to serve in the national guard in Afghanistan. Now in school presentations he shows this book and this picture and tells kids: I’ve walked through minefields, and I’m a solider, and yes, I will like any book that I want. Even books with girls in them. 🙂
I think the more we model that for kids *hopefully* we will create a new gen of people who respect reading choices.
Has any of you ever heard that you are a bad example for kids because you openly read “trash” and are not ashamed of it? And you have an ed-youuuu-cation! And you really should live up to your responsibilities!
And I was like: WTF? These guys misunderstand completely what schools are for. And they misunderstand books even more.
Since said “guys” are also parents and in-laws in my family, my kindle is indeed my best buddy.
Hello fellow readers! I came late to romance, because I come from a rather “high culture” type family, and I never saw much popular fiction, let alone romance, growing up. I don’t think I was even aware there was such a thing as a romance genre until I was in my mid-20’s. I came to it because after reading Jane Austen, I looked for other books that had a similar setting and a love story. There was no Amazon, and I didn’t live near any bookstores, so this involved browsing the library and stumbling on Marion Chesney and the like. Eventually I found the Signet Regencies, which was so incredibly wonderful!
I remember the first time I accidentally bought a non-historical romance. It was Jayne Ann Krentz’s “Crystal Flame” and I mistook it for a historical because of the cover. I loved it and found out she wrote contemporaries under another name, so that led me to the Silhouette Desire line. I have never had any “meatspace” friends who read romance, so for many years I was wandering in the dark alone, and had trouble finding the kind of books I loved without any reviews or recommendations from other people. Until the internet and Amazon came along, and then romance blogs like this one. For me, this is the golden age of romance reading. I am inundated with great choices, I can afford to be very picky, and I still have about 200 books on my TBR list.
When I get burned out on romance, I read a bit of sci-fi and mystery. Aside from that, I mostly read The New Yorker magazine. Cover to cover, all the lengthy, serious non-fiction pieces. That alone keeps me better informed about politics, science, history, culture and everything else going on the world than most people I know.
I don’t go out of my way to advertise my reading preferences, but when it does come up in the conversation, friends and family are shocked to hear I read romance, because my other tastes are rather highbrow(art, music, food, etc.)
I’ve been lucky never to have experience book shaming. My mother wasn’t thrilled with the romances I was reading in the late 80s/early 90s, but that had more to do with the types of romance novels they were. (She owns all the Georgette Heyers.)
I probably have the advantage in that romances aren’t the majority of what I read, so less chance of random criticism. But when I’m in a certain mood, no other type of book will do. (Strong female view point, happy endings, and a lot of the time, just plain fun reading.)
And having spent the summer reading sf, I’d probably laugh at anyone who tried to suggest it was all more high brow than romance.
P.S. This is totally off-topic, but I have to mention that I am on vacation in Seattle right now, and yesterday there were people in the most AMAZING Victorian retro costumes all over the streets! And lots of guys in kilts, plus pirates, you name it. Thanks to SBTB, I know what steampunk is, so I surmised that there was some kind of convention going on. Sure enough, I checked online and it was the first annual Steamposium, which billed itself as the premier Steampunk event in the world. Just seeing them wandering around the waterfront was big fun.
I have a BA in Information Technology and I love to read romance novels. The funny thing is I didn’t read them at all growing up. I was more into the romantic movies then the books. But now I’ve been converted and I’m so happy. I hate I missed out on reading these fantastic books and I can’t wait to publish my own real soon. Great Article!
I have an MA and am ABD on a PhD in Classical Languages and Literature, and I read, to the near exclusion of anything else, SFF and historical romances. (Sometimes I read contemporary, but for the most part I like my romance novels Georgian-to-Edwardian and English.)
Occasionally someone who doesn’t know me will make a comment about the “trash” I read. They invariably regret it. 🙂
Beautifully said, Elyse!! And yes, thanks, I’ll gladly have a cookie while I read my stack of romances 😉
I graduated from Harvard and then graduated from law school. I’m the staff attorney for a non-profit now. I took a ton of literature classes and aced them, because I love to read novels and love to analyze them. HOWEVER, I totally agree with E—sometimes I want a book that is a cookie. In fact, usually, I want a book that is a cookie. I don’t want to deal with pretend death, divorce or depression—there’s too much of that in the real world! The stuff I read at work is like kale and lentils, (pick your food of choice) and challenges my brain, but if I’m reading for fun, it should be fun. I can’t stand Virginia Woolf, James Joyce or Charles Dickens. They are not entertaining. Give me Loretta Chase, Stephen King or Terry Pratchett any day of the week.
Also, why is this an issue only with reading material? Did watching all the episodes of Breaking Bad in two months make my husband smarter? No. Did watching Law and Order for 20 years make my parents smarter? No (though they may be able to plan murders now). Does watching football or American Ninja Warrior get you in better shape? No. Why does my entertainment have to be improving or enriching just because it is printed?
Thanks, E. Great job.
Hello, @HeatherS. I think of Betty Neels’ books as falling into two categories: competent nurse in supervisory position or sweet young woman impoverished through no fault of her own. Many of her books fall into the marriage of convenience trope. At Amazon, the book description often includes text of the first chapter. Easy to get an idea if you like it without needing to download a sample. Although characters from one book may make an appearance in another, previous events are not discussed. Those appearances are very much along the lines of ‘We are going to visit my friend who married an English girl’. As old as the books are (Ms Neels died in 2001), most used book stores sell her books, and in some UBS she is the only category romance author whose work they carry.
I have an M.A. in History and I read romance.
I am happily married and I read romance.
I am a child-free feminist and I read romance.
I read, on average, 140+ books per year and 20-25% of them are romance.
It has been a long time (I am 49) since anyone commented on the “worth” of what they see me reading, but if anyone had the audacity to do so, I like to think my response would be “what was the last book YOU read?”
Because honestly, I’d propose that most of the people crass and ignorant enough to criticize romance don’t read ANYTHING except Facebook.
During my youth, I snuck peeks at my older sister’s bodice rippers. That’s what I thought romance novels were, so I avoided them, favoring instead mysteries and SF/F. At some point along life’s journey (in my 40s), it became too painful for me to read about characters getting the shit kicked out of them by their author-imposed lives. (I vaguely recall a story wherein a character comes after his author in revenge for all the shit the author put the character through. I cheered.) Real life is hard, messy and often painful. I was reading SF/F to escape the realities of life. I don’t need to encounter such suffering in my escapist literature. Hence, I started looking for alternatives.
My favorite is the humorous novel (e.g., Terry Pratchett, Christopher Moore). My second favorite is the screwball romantic comedy (if it has pets in it running amok, I’m in heaven). This opened the gateway to most romances for me, starting with Heyer. I prefer historicals for the escapism. The reason I read romance is simple: I need a happy ending. Life can really suck, why would you want to read about someone’s life that does also? Schadenfreude is not for me.
Hi. My name’s Rei. I have a good degree in a difficult subject from a prestigious university; I’m queer and polyamorous and the only reason I don’t have one of those “humourless feminist killjoy” T-shirts is that honestly I’d be better off just tattooing that on my chest; I have no professional success to speak of. I read romance novels more than I read anything else, and I write about them also.
I. Um.
Okay. I don’t want to rain on the FUCK YEAH READING ROMANCE NOVELS IS GREAT parade because fuck yeah, reading romance novels is great! I love romance novels. I’m pretty much as far out of their target demographic as it’s possible to get (as a female-ish person, that is), and a lot of the people I know are really surprised – if not outright judgmental – when they find out that I read them. I know what it’s like to feel like someone’s trying to revoke your feminist card because of your reading preferences, so that is definitely not what I am trying to do here. In fact, one of the reasons I love Smart Bitches so much is that you guys call out the books you review on their bullshit more often than not, which is why I trust your recommendations for books (and I’ve found enough books that I’ve adored through this site to justify that).
But I do often feel like statements like this: “And, yes, romance novels are a fantasy, an escape (some of the time). So why the ever loving shit would a bunch of women write a fantasy about being oppressed/ mistreated/unempowered for other women?” are kind of problematic. Because the fact is that women do write about other women being oppressed/mistreated/unempowered, and they do it an awful lot, and other women buy it and read it and love it and as a result continue to perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and I think it is kind of disingenuous to ignore that.
Don’t get me wrong: a lot of romance novels have heroines and supporting characters who demonstrate agency in all areas of their lives, and that’s important and under-recognised. And I definitely agree that they’re a big part of the reclaiming of female sexuality in fiction in a way that you don’t see in other kinds of books, but they are not above being read critically from a feminist perspective, and if doing that means you can’t love them then I am both a terrible feminist and a terrible romance fan.
The problem with “but you’re a feminist!” as an argument against reading romance novels is not that romance novels have a delicious core of feminism that’s being negated by that statement. It is that romance novels are, by and large, no more and no less problematic than the goddamned rest of genre fiction, but they’re treated as somehow this great bastion of Women Holding Each Other Back just because it is fiction aimed at women and mostly written by women. If “but you’re a feminist!” is a reason not to enjoy a particular kind of fiction then we should all pretty much stick to history textbooks and the newspaper, because at least the crap that happens to women in there is (mostly) reported rather than made up.
Word! Love this! Not much new to add. Degrees, etc.
I’m curious, though—are there any college courses that focus solely on the romance genre? I mean, romance is a HUGE part of the publishing industry. It sounds as if these types of classes would be pretty popular.
Elyse, what kind of cookies do you like? Cuz I would love to send you some snickerdoodles or some hermit bars or some apple butter bars or some chocolate cherry walnut brownies. Here, have some virtual cookies, your choice!
I fell in love with reading the summer before 2nd grade and read indiscriminately ever after. In high school, I made the sad discovery that I didn’t love everything assigned, but I had to read it anyway and, worse, analyze it. I learned to loathe most classics, became a master of lit fakery, and still read MY books to feed my hunger for adventure and happy endings and humor. When a friend with intellectual inclinations mocked the librarians’ taste for romance, a taste that I shared, I kept my mouth shut, and kept on reading.
Later on, in my 30s I went back to college, and discovered that not only could I read and analyze lit’ratchure and actually enjoy the process, but that those skills enhanced enjoyment of MY books which by then included all and sundry genres. What I learned then is that there are many kinds of reading and many ways to appreciate a book. There are no trashy books—romance or otherwise—there is only what you bring to them.
These lessons were reinforced thanks to SBTB which helped me own my tastes and also from working in a high school library where finding the right book for each kid is a major score regardless of genre. If they’re reading, everybody wins!
Now I proudly proclaim my reading tastes. In the face of my brazen romance boosterism, my husband has been hooked on steampunk and shifter romance, my boss comes to me for recs, and my daughters borrow/steal my historicals and fantasies. Browsing at my favorite UBS, I snicker at the scornful ignoramuses who dismiss “chick lit” or romance. Shakespeare, Twain, and Austen were commercial successes; only time can tell us which of today’s novels will become literature and which will end up on the trash heap of history. In the meantime, I’ll happily enjoy MY books and let posterity take care of itself.
I was a young writer. A happy young writer who wanted to create and create and create, and who had romantic themes in all my fervid teen scribblings. And then I went to a “writing camp” during which the professor told me that because of my taste in reading, I was obviously incapable of becoming a writer.
This was during the mid-80s. My awful, awful reads were the Sweet Valley High books. And because of those – and a few old skool romances I managed to sneak into my luggage – I was told that I was unworthy of becoming a creator.
The really tragic thing is that I believed her. I used to break out in a cold, anxious sweat whenever I either a) tried to write; or b) thought about admitting my genre preferences to people in my academic and professional spheres.
And I was published for the first time (for poetry, not fiction) last year. When I was 42.
I have a BA in theater & playwriting and I’m getting a masters in public administration. I love young adult science fiction and romance novels. Right now, my kindle is full of Garth Nix, Tamora Pierce, Courtney Millan and Lauren Willig.
I had a really hard time studying creative writing in college and I think a lot of it was because of the emphasis on “serious” writing. I didn’t fit their mold and therefore they didn’t like and disregarded me (It also didn’t help that shortly into college, I transferred my obsession from writing to knitting and that affected my writing wants / inspirations). But by downgrading the art forms that aren’t like us or the mold we’re used to, we downplay people and their passions. It’s really unfair and unkind.
I’m not a writer anymore, not really. But I do have pieces that run on websites, I blog occasionally and I managed to get published in a major publication at age 23, well before any of my colleagues in the creative writing program. For a tutorial on how to adjust knitting patterns to better suit your body.
Hi. My name is Miranda, and I’m a romantiholic. And yes, I’m an addict.
I used to be one of those people who looked down on romance novels when I was younger. I was so serious in high school, and I majored in English Lit in college, so I’ll admit I was a bit of a reading snob. I worked full time during the day and took a full time course load at night, so I’d stay up until 1 or 2 every night reading to keep up in my classes. By the time I graduated, I was burnt out, and everything I tried to read (all serious literature), I couldn’t finish. I finally stopped reading. For many years, the only thing I read was non-fiction research material for my volunteer work or jobs. I went about 20 years without reading anything I didn’t need to. My time was consumed either working or volunteering, which I did enjoy.
Then I went into teaching and only read kids books. In 2009, I finally decided to read something just for fun, something I hadn’t done since middle school. I browsed through Amazon’s mystery section and came across Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, which I had declined to read back in the 90’s when my mother-in-law had recommended it because I thought it was a romance series. I’d had no idea they would be in the mystery section, and then the reviews mentioned laugh-at-loud moments, something I’d never come across when reading.
I ordered the first three in a boxed set and loved them. When I finished the series, I turned to the internet to see when the next book was due to be released, and I stumbled on fan fiction. I became a beta reader for a couple of fan fiction authors, and one of them talked me into going to a romance convention in Denver (RomCon 2011). Since she lived in Texas and I lived in Montana, it seemed like a good way to meet in the middle, plus my family is in Colorado, and I hadn’t been there in 14 years. I had still not really read any true romance, but I wanted to be familiar with it if I was spending all this money to attend this convention. I started reading books off a “100 Best Romance Novels of All Time” list, then I started reading the authors who would be attending the conference once their names were announced. This is the only reason I gave romance a chance, and I’ve never looked back. I really wish I’d discovered it earlier, like in high school. I think I wouldn’t have given up on reading after college. It’s also enhanced my connection to other women.
BTW, my husband accompanied me to the convention since we spent the first half of the week in Colorado with my family. Oh, we went to the manlier stuff, the blood spatter seminar, the gun classes, the murder mystery game, and the western dinner, and he was a good sport and did enjoy himself. But now he says I have to go with him to a porn convention in Vegas to make up for it.
I’m grateful to the people who introduced me to the genre, for it has enriched my life in so many ways. And for all the reasons you stated above.
I prefer to read books that end happily. As such I read largely mystery, science fiction, and romance.
When I was on study abroad and forced to read anything I could find, I once read a Danielle Steel book, and it was the most hideously depressing thing ever with some poor girl abused and living a horrible life for years and years and years, and it ended with her like, living a less dismal life and possibly dating someone decent, and it was probably the worst book I have ever read in my life and ensured that I have no interest at all in reading any more of her books.
Yes, it’s escapism, and no, I see nothing wrong with that. There are enough horrible depressing things in this world, I do not need to read fiction about them. I can read fiction where things work out well and everyone wins.
This brings up some very old memories for me. When I was in high school study hall I sat next to the “red neck” type of guy. One day, while reading some romance novel with lots and lots of sex in it, he says “Why are you reading this?” I give him the book, and tell him to read certain passages. He then gives me his copy of “Hamburger Hill”, and a very nice book friendship was formed. Two converts in one day. Of course, I never got my book back. I’m sure it was highlighted and dog eared to death.
I found out about my three-book deal w/Carina while I was at my kids’ school pickup. Since I called my BFF and beta reader (of 10 years) about the deal, lots of the other parents knew I had a book deal. Various parents pretty regularly ask my about my publishing career – or they eavesdrop on my parent friends talking w/me. I’ve had a lot of support there, parents who love my books and tell me and review.
But … (there always is …)
Not too long ago someone who is very nice but we don’t know each other well asked what I write, and I said, “Romance – I’m published by Harlequin (*the name rings a bell with the general public when I suspect Carina Press doesn’t always).”
She said – with a look of complete disbelief, the type of look you would give to someone who announced they were abandoning their family to become a circus performer in Siberia:
“Why do you write THAT?”
My answer, refined over decades: “Because it’s what I read.”
Silence. (At least she knew not to say anything more!)
Why are people still surprised that someone reads romance? Is it because book stores and libraries so often hide it away ? Lots of independent bookstores don’t even carry romance, which I sort of understand from a financial point, but it further stigmatizes it as a genre in the minds of those who shop at indie bookstores.
I wish everyone would stop prefacing their love of romance novels with how smart they are ,how many degrees yards yadda. Can,t we just enjoy the damn books.
Cassie:
Ditto on the ‘don’t feel bad” comment! Holes is only boy-lit (although interesting for girls), it’s absolutely no different in weightiness or substance or credibility vs. romance or YA or those darn Warriors Cats series. I sort of want to shame your old teacher for letting the boys make a girl reader feel like that, and for not noticing your feelings.
Louis Sachar is a good genre fiction writer – I like his books, but they’re not To Kill a Mockingbird, so be confident.
In high school, I was reading a Harlequin inside my gov’t text book, and my teacher plucked it out and pitched it down the hall and said “I warned you about reading in class. Pick it up on your way to the office.” I was quite happy to do so. (And the geek girl got some street cred on the way too).
I once took a historical romance that featured a Lloyd’s Syndicate in to my insurance law class in law school – teacher thought it was hilarious and we discussed whether the premise of the book was accurate. I got High Honors in the class, if I recall – so be proud, albeit a sense of humor about romance reading goes a long way!
It was the Signet Regency romance that kept me sane enough to pass oral exams at Yale. Female agency, female empowerment, and an hea. What is wrong with that? Ever?
Thank you for writing this! I have an undergraduate in English. I have a graduate degree in creative writing from Northwestern University. I always read everything from the literary to commercial. I never made these weird lines of demarcation around books, but I wasn’t aware of this type of snobbery until I went into graduate school. I had a visiting graduate professor tell me after a critique to place a romance with a happy ending in the middle of the depressing novel I was writing because it would be more fun for me. He was from Harvard. Still, most of my professors didn’t agree with him. Now I also have to attribute my new found happiness to him. I plan to thank him in my acknowledgements when my first manuscript is done.
I am a feminist. I have subscribed to Ms. Magazine. I have read the best of the best of women’s studies literature. I have also volunteered in rape crisis centers and domestic violence shelters. I personally find it refreshing to read and write about empowered women who enjoy sexual pleasure.
I also work as a registered nurse. Not only do I see the harsh reality of life on the news, but I also experience it at work. So after I get home, I like to relax and read about women who have had happy endings. So we read romance novels. It is not a tragedy. The last time I checked at work there really are other tragedies out there.
I love romance novels. And yes, I’m an educated woman, and something of a feminist. My BA is in broadcast journalism with a minor in international relations. My MA is in Middle Eastern studies. What that says about me is that I read a lot of books not about romance.
My job revolves about research and writing about Middle Eastern/South Asian societies. And yes, too often I’m reading about genital mutilation as a human rights issue. Do you understand that there are women who cannot have anything but a vaginal orgasm, which the research says only somewhere between 20-40% women experience. Lately, I been reading about Iraqi women kidnapped by ISIS/ISIL, raped, taken back to be sold again bruised and bleeding from every orifice. Afghan Women who run away from husbands who beat them are jailed in Afghanistan for prostitution. Some of them are 16-17 years old and were married at 13-14.
There are a lot, a lot of women who don’t have any agency at all. I DO. And I damn well am going to read what ever my little heart desires. And I want something where women who have little space do make decisions to take control, women who are told that nice women don’t enjoy sex do enjoy sex, and that happy endings are possible.
And yes, I don’t tell people who I work with about what I am reading because they would judge (they judge those who have a level 80 mage too) and no one would understand the above rant on a public bus.
I love my Kindle. I don’t have to justify what I read anymore. I love Amazon because I don’t have to talk to a Barnes and Noble clerk who says, “Why do you read these?” (I mourned when Borders died because at least their clerks never said anything that stupid.)
Just remember that the penny dreadful was the end of Western civilization. Dime novels were “esteemed” about as much. Kid who read sci-fi or fantasy are geeks unless they limit their reading to Harry Potter.
And just remember we’re a society that spends a lot of time judging. Oscar/Emmy’s are about who wore the wierdest/most awful dress. I was channel surfing and caught a part of Big Brother where one contestant was telling another what a “whatever” she was. Some singer is fat shamed because she wore Mom jeans. I could go on and on. As humans we have to make judgments (will this tiger eat me, is this berry poisonous?) but somehow we take two details to construct a profile. Awwkkk.
Back to a romance.
I’ve been reading the comments, and damned if I didn’t start to cry. I’ve always loved reading. As a kid, I’d literally read *anything* I could find—including wholly “inappropriate” books (considering my age!) that my parents hadn’t hidden quite well enough *g* I remember Robinson Crusoe, Biggles Sweeps the Desert, everything by Wilbur Smith, Desmond Bagley and Alistair McLean, a number of Jackie Collins books, and a whole bunch of Barbara Cartland (after getting my hands on a box of them from someone). When I left home I got into sci-fi and fantasy in a big way, and then chick-lit and finally, romance. Now I’m almost exclusively about romance; paranormal, futuristic, historical, YA, contemporary… Bliss. And my love of reading has helped pass on a love of reading to my kids, too. Thank God for Holes and Holly Black’s Curse Worker series, and Sarah Rees Brennan’s Demons Covenant series, is all I can say, because these are the books that turned my son onto reading, which made me a very happy woman, and his teachers very happy indeed.
I remember in high school wanting to be a librarian and thinking it would be the best job in the world. I can’t remember quite when that dream died, but it was probably around the time one of my parents told me if I wanted to go to university I’d have to pay my own way… and I was too scared and too timid to figure out what I wanted to study and how to make it happen, so I left high school mid-way through my final year and went to work in a bank.
I’ve often felt… “inferior” for want of a better word, for not going to university—not helped, I guess, by marrying a very smart man whose family all went to uni and have degrees up the wahzoo. And it took me a long long time and a series of soul-destroying jobs to find my passion, which is writing romance—not that I even knew I was writing romances at the time. And thank goodness I found the Romance Writers of New Zealand Auckland chapter members, who gave me a clue or three 🙂
Even now, at 49 years of age, having raised two fantastic teenagers and having published 16 books, there are times I feel “less” for not having attended university. Last week my daughter was filling in online applications for the uni courses she hopes to take next year and she came racing downstairs, wanting to know what uni qualifications her dad had. She didn’t ask me; she knows I have none. She needed to know to list them on her applications, and after she’d headed back to the computer, I asked my husband why the university applications would have a section on parents’ qualifications. He told me it was because applicants with parents who’d attended university and attained degrees would be more likely to encourage and support their children through uni. Excellent point but man, was it like a slap in the face. What if I’d been a solo mum and she had nothing to put on her application? My life choices could have scotched her chances because someone might perceive her as having no support, and less likely to stick it out and achieve a uni degree. And yet, I have done everything in my power to encourage my daughter to follow her dreams—even if she’s not certain what they are at present. I see so much of me in her; scared to “waste time and money” on higher education if she’s not sure what she wants to do with her life. And I’m determined that she will have opportunities I was too scared to grasp onto. My mantra is: If you don’t at least try, you’ll always wonder if you might have gotten accepted, and how different your path in life might have been.
I never have the right words at the right time when people put me down for my reading choices. I’m that author who just grimaced and kept her head down when she walked into dance class and one of the teachers yelled, “Everyone, this is Maree. She writes porn.” I’m surrounded (in person and online) by bunches of uber-smart women with degrees, who’ve achieved amazing things, and know just what to say when others put them down for their choice of reading matter, or their choice of writing romance over “serious” literary works. I’m so awed by all you clever women who present such stunningly clear and concise arguments as to why the romance genre is so beloved by so many of us, and who can analyze a book and say exactly what worked for them, what didn’t work, and why. I’m more your, “SQUEEEEE! OMG, I LOVED THIS BOOK! YOU GOTTA READ IT!” kind of person. And I hope that one day, I’ll be comfortable enough with who I am to truly not feel the need to apologize that I’m a full-time mum who reads romance because I love it, and writes it for the same reason. I hope that one day I’ll have the words to mount clear and concise and thought-provoking arguments whenever someone gives me a hard time for my love of romance. Unfortunately that time hasn’t quite come, but I’m working on it 🙂
On that point, I’m reminded while reading these comments of some words of wisdom from speakers at our recent Romance Writers of NZ conference:
“Be proud to write romance!” Jim Azevedo, Marketing Director, Smashwords
And paraphrasing from Courtney Milan’s talk “Romance and the Unrealistic, Predictable Happy Ending”:
“Anyone, no matter what their circumstances, no matter who they are, can find love. And this is not unrealistic. This is why we have romance novels!”
“Romance novels have always depicted the lives women lead.”
“We write romance as an act of creation, believing that we can be happy, and that we deserve happiness.”
“Romance novels help us face reality, not escape it.”
“Romance novels are not giving us unrealistic expectations; they are giving us hope.”
Um… yeah. What Jim and Courtney said.
(And my apologies for what turned out to be a very long, meandering post.)
@Maree
*Hugs*
16 books (not to mention your kids!) is a wonderful achievement. Don’t let anyone make you ashamed. Romance novels have helped me cope with chronic illness and I am grateful every day to the authors who write them.
And I think we’re at a point where a 4 year degree is an expectation of most young people. My mother is a registered nurse and her program was 2 years focused soley on medical training. My sister has the same RN but it required a bachelor’s with all the lit, history and other gen eds. I’m not sure her education prepared her for nursing any better. It just left her with more bills