Avon contacted me and asked if I'd like to host a giveaway to celebrate the release of Elizabeth Boyle's new book, If Wishes Were Earls, and to celebrate Ms. Boyle's birthday, which is today! Happy birthday, ma'am!.
I like birthdays (CAKE) and I like celebrations (CAKE) and I like giveaways (NO CAKE — SORRY. SHIPPING CAKE WOULD BE GROSS) so I agreed. Ready for some fun?
Have a look-see at the cover below:
Help complete the above title with as much silly or savvy as you like by leaving a comment below answering, “If Wishes Were Earls….what would happen?” If you do, you're entered to win.
(One second – excuse me.)
(Pssst, listen Avon, I don't mean to be obvious but If Wishes Were Earls does not rhyme with “love.” I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.)
Anyway. Standard disclaimers apply. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents where permitted by applicable law (I'm covering the international shipping for the prizes and I FEAR NO STAMPS.) Must be over 18 and getting your hem wet in some random body of water to win. Corsets optional. Shirt and shoes optional. Nose mandatory. Comments will close 12 pm ET, Friday 10 January 2014. I will select the winner from the entries in the comments on Friday 10 January. You're welcome to tell me in the comments which entries you like best.
So, what are the prizes?
Yay! Thanks, Avon! I wonder if wishing earls might buy iPads?
Second runner up will win a $50 gc to the e-retailer of their choice (open internationally as well). Wishing earls would totally buy bookstore giftcards, too, I'm thinking.
So, if you'd like to enter to win, leave a comment below and complete the sentence If Wishes Were Earls….
Good luck! May the earls be with you!
If wishes were Earls,
with hair of dark curls;
Rogues with a heart,
men that don’t fart;
Indiscrite belches,
no sign of wenches;
Romance profound,
propose on the ground;
Idolize their women,
now, this is a given;
We still wouldn’t be satisfied!
If wishes were earls. ALL the girls would wear pearls but really they’d really want Dukes. 🙂
Ha!
Good luck everyone, but I hope I win. 😉
If Wishes Were Earls…. my son would’ve been born fully potty-trained!
(Yes, you know what I’m doing right now lol)
….I would win this and it would help me work from home and be near my little girls!
ninigossett at gmail dot com
If wishes were Earls, then peggers would ride.
If I won this contest, Smart Bitches would deride!
If wishes were earls then beggars would marry well?? I don’t know, I just keep thinking of the phrase “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride”.
If wishes were Earls, we’d all have butlers!
If wishes were Earls that comes in fleets, Sherlock would get rip roaring drunk and hurl at their feet!
If wishes were earls…I’d be surrounded by titled men!
Btw, the cover reminds me of the story of Narcissus.
Girl thinking “if wishes were earls, I wouldn’t be staring at myself in this puddle all day, ruining my best debutante gown!”
If wishes were earls, that could really put a damper on your wishing. Do they just pop into existence and then disappear when they’ve fulfilled your wish, so to speak? Or do you amass a growing collection?
If wishes were Earls, then my kids would probably be pretty disappointed with their Amazon “Earl” List.
If wishes were earls, Gene Chandler’s entire life was a lie.
If Wishes Were Earls….then I would have one!
If wishes were Earls, I wouldn’t have to try to win an Apple product
If wishes were Earls then genies would be out of work?
… I wouldn’t NEED an ipad my earl could buy me all the things
If wishes we earls it would not be so cold outside!
If wishes were earls, I’d be upset.
Cause I’m not prepared to house them. Not yet.
The earls might be churls, or bastards or fakes.
It would make it a crapshoot, blowing candles on cakes.
I’d have to be careful when wishing on stars,
Since to haul around earls, I’d need phaetons, not cars.
I’d want dark, brooding Simon, or Devil, not Reggie,
Cause Reggies are nodcocks, and dull makes me edgy.
I really don’t care to manage strongholds or manors,
I’d have to hire help, or at least, estate planners.
And please don’t give me an earl with an abbey.
Since monastic ghosts make me cranky and crabby.
When it comes right down to it, I find I’m quite picky
About which earl I’d get, and that wicket gets sticky.
An earl in the hand is worth two in a castle.
But an underbred byblow would sure be a hassle.
I need dark, handsome looks and a good sense of humor
And no tragic secrets, either real, or just rumor.
Financially solvent, with excellent taste.
And not stuck up, or snobby, or concerned about caste.
I wishes were earls, I’d need just the one.
And we could make more (with our firstborn son).
If I have any extras, I’ll give them to you.
If wishes were earls, please make mine come true.
If wishes were earls… well, there wouldn’t be many of them since the aristocracy is basically extinct…
if wishes were earls …. curses would be marquis
If wishes were earls…Britain’s landed aristocracy would have collapsed even more quickly than it did. Unless wishes were also american heiresses. Parity and all that.
If wishes were earls there’s be a sudden massive population boom as all these titled men popped into existence each time somebody said something like “I wish I had a candy bar right now” And whether that is a good thing I suppose depends on how good looking your particular wish-earl happened to be -you know some of them are likely to be short and squat and have bad breath. But the charming ones are well worth trying for.
If wishes were Earls then I would already be a Countess with my big house and handsome husband with a big library to read in.
If Wishes Were Earls…I’d be dressed in pearls!
If wishes were Earls, I’d be somewhere warmer!
If wishes were Earls I’d be covered in pearls!
… then who would do the nerds?
If wishes were Earls, we’d all live in chateaus with a giant library and mountains of chocolate.
If wishes were Earls, there’d be more happy girls.
I bought the book over the weekend and wondered at the “Rhymes with Love” statement under the title. My first thought was, “No, it doesn’t!!:
If wishes were earls, the ton would unfurl, and every day would be Christmas. 😀
If wishes were Earls, there would be no lower classes.
If wishes were Earls, debs would still prefer Dukes……..
(It’s true, right?)
If wishes were Earls, then granted wishes would be Kings.
If Wishes were Earls…Every girl would find her dream man. Not terribly original, but very hopeful!
If wishes were Earls, there’d be a lot of single, young, handsome Dukes running amok in the Regency since mamas and daughters wouldn’t be after them!
If wishes were Earls, we would all be very happy girls.
If wishes were earls, my house would be overflowing with British noblemen.
If wishes were earls my house would be infested with lords a-leaping, probably, though, all the kind of impoverished earls in slightly worn velvet bell-bottoms and smoking big doobies that have always been common (if that’s the correct adjective) around Ireland. By the same token, I’m not a legal or even illegal resident, but if I happened to come up as winner, I’d happily pay the postage to Dublin.
If wishes were Earls, I’d still be in bed with my girl. And my new ipad.
If wishes were Earls, I’d look down at my palms
and suddenly have a handful of pearls.
I’d leave a trail of those beautiful pearls
amongst the dancers that continue
to twirl.
Once back on the dance floor, I’d continue to whirl
and look up to find my wonderful Earl.