Avon contacted me and asked if I'd like to host a giveaway to celebrate the release of Elizabeth Boyle's new book, If Wishes Were Earls, and to celebrate Ms. Boyle's birthday, which is today! Happy birthday, ma'am!.
I like birthdays (CAKE) and I like celebrations (CAKE) and I like giveaways (NO CAKE — SORRY. SHIPPING CAKE WOULD BE GROSS) so I agreed. Ready for some fun?
Have a look-see at the cover below:
Help complete the above title with as much silly or savvy as you like by leaving a comment below answering, “If Wishes Were Earls….what would happen?” If you do, you're entered to win.
(One second – excuse me.)
(Pssst, listen Avon, I don't mean to be obvious but If Wishes Were Earls does not rhyme with “love.” I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.)
Anyway. Standard disclaimers apply. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents where permitted by applicable law (I'm covering the international shipping for the prizes and I FEAR NO STAMPS.) Must be over 18 and getting your hem wet in some random body of water to win. Corsets optional. Shirt and shoes optional. Nose mandatory. Comments will close 12 pm ET, Friday 10 January 2014. I will select the winner from the entries in the comments on Friday 10 January. You're welcome to tell me in the comments which entries you like best.
So, what are the prizes?
Yay! Thanks, Avon! I wonder if wishing earls might buy iPads?
Second runner up will win a $50 gc to the e-retailer of their choice (open internationally as well). Wishing earls would totally buy bookstore giftcards, too, I'm thinking.
So, if you'd like to enter to win, leave a comment below and complete the sentence If Wishes Were Earls….
Good luck! May the earls be with you!
If wishes were earls I could eat whatever I wanted to and not get fat.
If wishes were earls I could apply makeup just by clapping my hands.
cookiesmasher5 @ yahoo.com
If wishes were Earls (and he wasn’t impoverished), I’d buy more books!
I’d be debt-free
If wishes were Earls,
And my hope is a Duke
The windchill would not hurl
Minus temps til I puke…
(From Karen, in the frozen wasteland of Minnesota—I need more ebooks because it’s too cold to leave my apartment!)
If wishes were Earls, I’d be a Lady by day and, hum, much more by night.
If wishes were Earls,
Hot pages unfurl!
If wishes were Earls, we’d all own a lot more tiaras. Because bitches love tiaras.
If wishes were Earls…Speedo would still be singing.
(Shout out to Earl Carroll of The Cadillacs from a PS 87 alum. RIP Mr. Earl.)
I’d be bored out of my mind. But still want an iPad.
If wishes were Earls, there would be so many Earls out there that they wouldn’t be special.
If wishes were Earls… there’d be a lot more rogue wishes in historicals ready to give heroines some interesting STIs.
If wishes were Earls, he would convert his ballroom to a massive library with floor to ceiling bookcases covering every inch of wallspace, out of loving indulgence, and I would never again suffer abibliophobia.
If wishes were earls, I’d pay good money to watch beggars ride around on them, and have chicken fights, because that would be hilarious. Especially if said earls were all decked out in regency finery.
If wishes were earls we’d all be covered in honey and pearls.
If wishes were earls, the sea would be full. Of earls, which would be really weird.
If Wishes Were Earls…
At a Kiss from the Riotous, Rakish Rogue My Legs Would Most Happily Unfurl.
if wishes were earls—the house of lords would be overflowing 🙂
If wishes were earls, the House of Lords would need to remodel and add more seats (actually, no longer true – it is no longer a completely hereditary position but I like the visual).
If wishes were Earls
And one belonged to me
He’d still not be allowed
In yonder pond to pee
Happy Birthday Elizabeth! And thank you Sarah for another freakstastic Giveaway!
If wishes were earls, fishes would spit pearls.
Double rhyme!
If wishes were Earls, I would ask for so many wishes the world would be dotted with beauty and majestic glory.
If wishes were Earls, I would ask for so many wishes the world would be dotted with beauty and majestic glory.
If wishes were Earls… Dukes wouldn’t bump their asses on so many romance book titles.
If wishes were earls…there’d be so very many fulfilled wishes in romancelandia.
If wishes were earls, I’d be married to one and we would use our wealth to recreate the library in Beauty and the Beast in our mansion.
If wishes were earls…my be and bookshelf would be crowded!
If wishes were earls… Some guy named Earl would be cleaning my toilets right now.
If wishes were earls
And could fall from above,
I’d gather them up
And find one to love.
Egads. That was actually painful to type.
… beggars would comprise the majority of the peerage.
If Wishes Were Earls,
You might wish for pearls,
Or you may just say, “Guv,
Earls don’t rhyme with Love.”
…and this is why I am *so* not a poet! 😉
I’d wear pearls? Maybe not. I’m not a poet clearly.
If wishes were Earls, then hoydens would ride?
(This is so fun. I just learned the source rhyme over Chrstmas! Apparently my great-grandmother was fond of telling my mom, “If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.”)
“If Wishes Were Earls…endless dreams would be granted
If wishes were Earls, I’d have better shoes,
I’d grow my hair longer and pose as his muse.
But since wishes are dreams, I’ll stick with my Chucks,
And my poor man who’s charming and good for some yucks!
If wishes were Earls, Dukes would be screwed!
Though my rhyming is quite lax, below is the truth…
If wishes were Earls all Earls would be hounded.
But if wishes were Earls hopefully no girls would go without twirls on the dance floor.
If wishes were Earls
And one sought me to bond
His mighty rod would unfurl
When I pounced on him by the pond
Above I forgot to add this little bit:
No wallflowers there would be.
For all the Earls would see.
That all girls can be, first water diamonds you see.
If wishes were earls…
We’d be happy girls
With plenty o’ pearls!
Happy birthday, Ms. Boyle!
If wishes were Earls I would request 3! 1. He would be tall with jet black hair, broad shouldered and about 6’3” with black hair and sapphire blue eyes!
2. He would be very rich and love me with all his heart!
3. He would be the best lover I have ever had making sure I always had metous climaxes and a great imagination when it came to sex! Not too kinky please!
Those are my wishes!