Romance Novel Reader Workout VII

Brawny arm with a stack of booksTime for Romance Novel Workout VII! So grab your nearest romance and get ready to read, sweat, and possibly growl in outrage. Don’t bite your lip, though. Thanks to Rudi’s tumblr for the inspiration today.

Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!

Standard disclaimers still apply: dude, I’m not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can’t discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.

And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part VII, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!

One more round of romance novel sex scene cliches. When the following things happen, do the corresponding exercise. Then, when you finish the chapter, do that activity again. She bites her lip: 25 pushups Someone makes some weird noise during sex like “unh” or “agh”:* 25 v-ups She bites her lip: 25 burpees Afterward, he demands to know why she didn’t tell him she was a virgin: 25 tricep dips She bites her lip: 25 lunges He remarks with surprise that it’s never been that good before: 25 leg lifts She bites her lip: 25 bicycles He is surprised by his lack of interest in leaving. He wants...to cuddle?! 2 min plank They do it again almost immediately, with no mention of soreness: 25 deep squats *Special thanks to Cleo.

Expect your new workout to leave you a little breathless. This is the last romance sex scene workout for awhile – so get ready for more workouts that aren’t about the blushy parts.

If you have questions or suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email. And if you have pics of yourself doing the workouts, please share them with me. PLEASE.

Remember, above all, unless you faint, puke, or die, KEEP READING! AND BREATHING!

Thank you to BigStock for the booklifting image!

Comments are Closed

  1. Beccah W. says:

    Oh so much lip biting! I guess it makes sense when emotions run high to “worry your lip” or however they often say it.

    My favorite here is definitely the “do it again immediately with no mention of soreness”. That one always gets me. Even if it was not your first time, there would be some soreness after a good roll in the hay!

  2. ….and she ran her tongue over her teeth = 25 situps

  3. DarienG says:

    Someone needs a good lip balm….

  4. Gry says:

    I just love these workouts!

    A couple of additional possibilities for future workouts – any mention of size! For him, of course, the Mighty Wang is of course always described as beint “king size”. And Her Magic Hoo-ha, is always described as small, or tight, even when she’s not a virgin. Even after childbirth, which I would think would loosen things up down there.

    And on the same subject, sort of – the hero is almost always, at least in historicals, a rake, and much is said about the way he has been bed-hopping and whoring since he was in his early teens. But does he get syphilis or the clap? Not at all! The Mighty Wang clearly has a magical resistance to STIs!

  5. Liz H. says:

    I just spit out my coffee. My fellow starbucks-ers are giving me a wide berth. Can’t imagine why.

    I vote for “speaking eyes” next; those that can be peered into, and that give a full reading of their owner’s emotions.

  6. Kelly S. says:

    For the non-sex scenes (hopefully), rolling of eyes by anyone – roll your own eyes.  I do this now.

  7. Jennifer Trinidad says:

    I’m going to be the nitpicky one and point out that exercise 7 is labeled as VI instead of VII.  Pointing can count as an exercise right?

  8. RebeccaJ says:

    Good thing this wasn’t in play during the 50 Shades nightmare. We’d have been exhausted from all the ‘lip biting’ exercising!

  9. Petr says:

    Beautiful and even the best of the best blogs I have had the opportunity to see this is just great for me is Very important, and overflowing to the simple life and living here I was struck nafik.

  10. Patricia says:

    Are you crazy, if I did all of that, I’d exercise myself to death!

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