Romance Novel Reader Workout IV

Brawny arm with a stack of booksReady for this week's workout? Hope so, because we're back with more Romance Novel Workouts! Time to read, breathe, and probably groan.

Like the last few workouts, can do all these exercises with a mat and your own body. No handweights are needed unless you want to use some. Go get that romance novel you love (or love to hate), and get ready!

Standard disclaimers apply: dude, I'm not a physician. I can recommend books to read but I can't discern your state of health or your physical limitations so by all means work hard but be kind to yourself. To put it another way, ask your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. However, I am confident in my ability to offer the following advice: drink plenty of water and read plenty of books. Both are good for you.

And now, Romance Novel Reader Workout, Part IV, in graphic form suitable for pinning, sharing, printing, and pointing at!

 

Sometimes love scenes in romances go on for awhile. Good for extended workouts! When the following things happen, do the corresponding exercise. Then, when you finish the chapter, do that activity again.

Any sexual use of the word “need:”*        1 min  										high knees
Any reference to jeans or zippers 	about to split open:*		 		     20 crunches

Any reference to an erection that could be used for carpentry or construction:*    20 pushups

Nipples are pebbled:*  		    		     1 min plank

Someone says something 	“silkily” or “huskily”: 		 	     15 tricep dips
There is a reference to loins:		 	     20 Russian
										twists
Any physical interaction with nipples
	causes a “zing” down below:		     25 squats

Something is weeping, and it’s not 	someone’s eyes:   				     25 V-ups


Special thanks to Donnamaie, Shawny J, and Kate H.

 

Expect your new workout to leave you a little breathless. We'll be back with a new one soon. If you have questions or suggestions for future workouts, please share, either in the comments or via email. And if you have pics of yourself doing the workouts, please share them with me. PLEASE. 

Remember, above all: KEEP READING! AND BREATHING! 

Thank you to BigStock for the booklifting image!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Lenorej says:
    +1

    Anytime there’s a “hitch” in the heroine’s breathing 15 oblique side raises….no reason you shouldn’t have a tiny waist while you’re waiting for her to get “there”, right?

  2. 2
    Tam B. says:
    +1

    Amazon needs to work out an app’ that will incorporate this.  Just think – set your kindle to romance work out and every time a scene featuring a workout item occurs you get a little “SBTB Workout – 1 min plank” notice.

    I’d either get seriously in shape or hate my kindle – it could go either way.

    (The drinking game version that Darlene Marshall keeps suggesting should also be an option – although that could be a little more hazardous.)

  3. 3
    Frannie says:
    +1

    Any time the hero rasps/mutters/commands, “Come for me, baby”, and that’s all it takes to fling her over the edge – 10 squats

    Anytime the hero claims he’s gonna make her scream his name…

  4. 4
    Lynnd says:
    +1

    I love these!

    Any time the hero thinks of the heroine’s “sweet nectar” – 5 turkish get ups.

  5. 5
    SB Sarah says:
    +1

    I love how the most difficult exercises are Turkish or Russian. IN SOVIET RUSSIA, ABDOMINALS CRUNCH YOU.

  6. 6
    MissB2U says:
    +1

    If you guys keep this up I’m switching to non-fiction.  Or possibly Darlenes drinking game.

  7. 7
    Rue says:
    +1

    Every time you see the word “luscious curves” 20 sit ups to see if you can start to define yours ;D

  8. 8
    Rue says:
    +1

    Extra 5 if he smells said nectar and “hardens”!

  9. 9
    Lynnd says:
    +1

    LOL – 10 more if he drinks said nectar and it tastes like sweet honey.

    @SB Sarah – I would like to know who names these exercises – maybe there’s a drinking game in there somewhere (to counterbalance all of this healthy exercise).

  10. 10
    KenHoughton says:
    +1

    “pebbled”??  Is that because the silicon inside leaked??

  11. 11
    ksattler says:
    +1

    You have asterisks but they lead me nowhere. This is troubling me.

  12. 12
    SB Sarah says:
    +1

    Oh – they refer to the contributions from the people thanked at the bottom. There’s supposed to be an asterisk there, too. My bad!

  13. 13
    cleo says:
    +1

    Every time the hero references the heroine’s honeypot or tastes her honey …

  14. 14
    cleo says:
    +1

    Oops, missed that Lynd already mentioned tasting like honey.  (gugh – the nectar and honey references really gross me out)

  15. 15
    Shawny Jean says:
    +1

    More push ups, or chest flies maybe for every heroine who wears lacy underwear and a sexy bra even while doing mundane tasks. But there should be an extra bonus work out in case you ever find a heroine who is wearing a nude-coloured cotton bra and cotton panties in a different colour!

  16. 16
    Shal says:
    +1

    how about 10 some thing for:
    every time the heroine “gushes”
    has a BIG “O” 1st time she has sex
    heroine makes a strangled cry
    hero’s chest hair is matted
    hero had a dark sprinkling of hair on body and is totally ripped

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