In a recent roundup of books on sale, FairyKat asked very nicely if we could caption one of the covers. I don't see why. Do you?
The thing I question most is, where did his legs go? Are his legs with this guy's head?!
If Lord Fireice's pants are with Stygian's head, that must be a fun party. I hope the bar is being underwritten by Photoshop. (Many MANY thanks to the lovely women at the book club at the Galaxy Bookshop in Sydney for pointing out Mr. Headless to me when I was there.)
So, what IS Mr. Lord of Fire and Ice thinking? Why is he holding his flaming hand next to his crotch? Isn't that rule number one when one can wield fire: no flaming near the family jewels? Time to caption that cover!
You've got 48 hours to come up with a most bodacious caption for the Lord of Fire and Ice. I'll pick the winner on Friday, 18 January, at noon eastern. You're more than welcome to “Like” your favorite comments to try to sway my vote. The winner will receive a $25 giftcard to the bookstore of his or her choice.
Standard disclaimers apply: Void where prohibited. Must be over 18 and doing the dance dance revolution to win. Open to international residents including the folks in the space station. By submitting an entry to the contest as set forth herein, each entrant does acknowledge and agree that, in the event such entrant is victorious, such entrant will perform a ceremony reasonably appropriate to such circumstance, including, without limitation, the Miposian Dance of Joy or, in the alternative, Gangnam Style.
Go forth and caption Mr. Firepants! Bring it on!
Lief the Viking was known for as a killer for his skill with swords and battle-axes, but what really set him apart was his deadly use of firecrotch.
Here comes my left hand and it’s blazin’ mighty nice
Here comes my right hand, it’s meltin’ all that ice
There go those Vikings following the flame
Here comes the hot hand that makes it hard to aim
Through ice and through fire, they come and they go
With only one thing in common
They got the fire down below
With a nod to Bob Seger
Yo Frozone, can you do *this*?
I like his kicky little leather collar – maybe he had to chop his legs off to escape the rest of his shackles? My entries are:
a – ‘Yes, his first Chanel No. 5 ad had premiered to universal derision, but Brad couldn’t help feeling the marketing team’s drastic change in direction was too extreme.’
b – ‘Stygian took up chain smoking to disguise the fact that his head, with its perfect blue roundness and lack of features, looked uncannily like a Times New Roman ‘o’.’
He burnt himself do badly, he had to jump of into the sea to cool off….
1. (m/m only) “Greek Fire, hah! Time to meet Flaming Viking!”
2. Wulf thought that his hands in his pockets would conceal the tent in his pants, but nothing could hide his O-face.
“But first, I have to warm up!”
Stygian realized too late his error in asking the Lord of Fire and Ice for a little head.
That was the last time Borkr went camping with Pull-My-Finger Viking. Sometime after the beans and the thirteenth drink, the matches seemed like a good idea. Obviously, they were not.
Icy hale and piercing wind lashed against Wulf’s stark blue eyes, and echoed around his empty soul. So deaded to all emotions due to being seen as no more than a great hulking piece of eye-candy he set himself on fire, just to see if he could still feel!
For Stygian’s honor:
Stygian saw that dog collar that Lord of Ice and Fire is wearing and decided that losing his head has its benefits….
Sven didn’t know how this Robert Frost guy found out about his family’s supernatural abilities, but he had to admit the man was right. In head-to-head competition, the fire talents nearly always bested the ice wielders. Poor cousin Stygian.
Stygian didn’t need the big head. He did all his thinking with the small one anyway.
Lord Fireice had been without a woman for so long his great balls of fire had spread to his hands.
this is for cover number two:
The next big thing in paranormal romance: Tortoise Shifters! Slow and steady, they’ll win the race for their mate’s heart….just as soon as those mean wolf shifters are gone, they’ll pop their heads back out again. Don’t judge. They make love, not war.
Warning contains T/F/T/T action
Let me prove that the fire in my loins burns hotter for you than the fires in my hand.
I can’t come up with anything clever. I can’t get past the fact that the Lord of F & I looks like Keith Urban. Who knew that excessive flat-ironing was a grievous grooming sin even back in Viking times!
The Lady of the Lake’s brother, Lord of the Ice, was charged with burning ships for Viking funerals. Like her, his involvement in these rites was also considered a farcical aquatic ceremony.
You wish Viking-style pleasure? Um. Look! Fire!
1) Fryar tossed his golden mane with quiet satisfaction ss he watched the ship sail closer. “Oh, yeah, who’s a hottie?”
2) Oh Stygian oh Stygian, say, have you met Stygian? Stygian the headless lovegod. He has biceps folks adore so, and a torso even more so…(with apologies to E.Y. Harburg’s Lydia)
Goodness gracious Great Balls of Fire!
Anyone else feel like they’ve seen that wolf somewhere else before? It’s driving me crazy. And I’m not searching for “wolf shifter cover” on Google Image Search. I can see how rule 34 applies.
Cassie learned the hard way careful what you wish for. Abs of steel, beautiful biceps, luscious legs why hadn’t she mentioned a face?
When I flip the coin in the air, choose heads or tails.
Maybe if I set my hands on fire, I can thaw this ice and break my legs free.
(True story – I once had a college roommate who liked to set her hands on fire.)
You think they’re nipples but they’re really eyes. Which is why I don’t need a head on top of my shoulders.
1) “No, I’m not PullMyFinger Viking! In fact, I advise you not to pull my fingers at all.”
(I feel obliged to point out that PullMyFinger Viking also has no legs…must be a Viking thing.)
2) “The Stygian gave good head. His own.”
Just want to point out that Lord FireIce is using his private parts as piranha bait.
Thank goodness he was able to melt the ice from his upper body with the fire that magically appeared out of his hands! He was so grateful. He was positive in no time that he would melt his lower body free from all that ice as well. He just hoped that ship in the distace was coming for him. He couldn’t wait to tell his story. What a transformation.
“Damn,” Stygian mused. “I thought ‘topless’ modeling was something entirely different.”
Has a magic trick ever gone more wrong?
“Oh Stygian – just because your girlfriend called you a knobhead doesn’t mean you have to put your head ON your knob !”
Stop, drop and roll. Stop drop and roll!!
For the Stygian’s cover”
So this is what they mean by “all brawn, no brains”…
And now, ladies and gentlemen, watch and be amazed as I bounce this tiny ship off my bicep and through the pillar of fire!
As he reveled in the heady cloud of the joint he just lit up, Stygian tried to remember where he’d put his shirt while noticing the extra large dog standing behind him.
Very little is known about Prometheus’s Norwegian cousin Pyrometheus.
“Dumb ways to die… so many dumb ways to die…”
Lord of Fire and Ice: The product development team at KY were taking “tingling sensations for him and her” too far.
The Lord of Fire and Ice is happily married. His wife is not. She goes all the way to the floor.
(h/t to the late, great Victor Borge)