Putting aside from all the Fifty Shades variations and parodies, we haven't really discussed the possibilities of changes in book titles brought about by the 50 craze.
Really, there are SO many better character names than grey, and so many more evocative color names as well. I have kids, and my kids have crayons, and, well, have you LOOKED at the names of some crayons? The wtfery is limitless, and after a marathon coloring session recently, I started THINKING.
That is never good, especially when javascript is involved.
Behold! A Derivative Book Title Generator using all the possible crayon color names I could find, plus a few extra colors I love, and a very few things that should be color names if they aren't already. The color names in the generator are actual color names appearing on crayons (where there reside folks who burn a lot of umber, apparently. And I have no idea what Razzmatazz should look like. Perhaps unnaturally red sorbet)?
Anyway, let's color!
Hit the button until you get a derivative book title you like.
Then, write a blurb for it! Describe the fine, fine crazysauce (or totally seriousfacesauce) that will flood your book, and tell us about it. The color can be a character name, but it doesn't have to be – get crazy with the Cheez Whiz, if you like. I mean, it's all derivative at this point right? And nothing is sacred – not even crayon color names!
You guys shall pick the winner: the entry with the most number of 'likes' by 3pm ET Friday 14 September will win a $25 gift card to the bookstore of the winner's choosing and winner's choice of a Kindle Paperwhite WiFi with Special Offers OR a Nook Glow OR a Kobo Touch. (I hope those special offers come in Razzmatazz, but no guarantees or that or Burnt Umber.)
Standard disclaimers apply: must be over 18 and know the difference between blue violet and violet blue to win. Void where prohibited. Open to international residents. Return your seatback and tray table to their normal upright position. Your seat cushion can be used as a very yellow flotation device. Objects in mirror are larger than they appear (that's what he said).
Get ready: here's your generator! Prepare ye to create silliness! (And thank you to BigStock for the image!)
Your next bestseller should be titled:
Fifty Shades of Wisteria
The Colonel had always been attracted to Viola La Fleur since the night he had to rescue her from the encroaching wisteria vines. The way the purple flowers wrapped around his arms as he pulled her free sent an electric shock scorching through his body. He’d never felt such a loss of control before.
Viola never realized seeing those strong green vines around Colonel Beauregard Bourgeois’ manly wrists would send such a delightful shiver of wanting through her. The thought of him helpless was divine ecstasy. It had taken all her willpower not to whip the narrow string tie off his neck.
Southern virgins and masterful honorary military men were supposed to stay in their respective boxes. But what happens with the roles are reversed?
“Fifty Big Dips o’ Ruby”
Wide-eyed ingenue Ruby wanted nothing more than to take Christian Timerberwolf’s Raw Umber into her Razzle Dazzle Rose. Alas, it took only one brief erotic voyage into his Dingy Dungeon for her to discover that his famed Sea Serpent was no more than a Shrimp Cocktail. Would they ever achieve Blast-Off Bronze together, or would Ruby’s Tropical Rain Forest remain as dry as Tumbleweed?
Read the startling conclusion to the series in the upcoming sequel, “Who Violet Blue”.
We out. /mike drop.
50 Shades of Florida Sunshine
Gladys Ecklebaum missed her chance at true love over fifty years ago…or so she thinks. That all changes when she moves to a Miami condo and finds herself next-door neighbors with her childhood sweetheart, Clifford Van Darkness. But this septuagenarian romance is no fairy tale—a life of heartbreak and trauma has left Clifford cynical and scarred, nothing like the charming child Gladys used to know. As she begins to break down Clifford’s barriers under the shining Florida Sun, Gladys discovers a darkness that will shock, disgust, and maybe even thrill her…
Fifty Shades of: booger buster
Introducing Harlequin Jr, romances for the elementary set! Little Johnny has a secret crush on Jane. She’s smart and uses ALL the colors of the crayon box. He could hold her hand, too, if it wasn’t for one shameful secret… he picks his nose. And she knows it. She’s even told the teacher about it. None of her friends will even talk to Johnny. Then, one scandalous day, Johnny finds out that Jane isn’t so different from him after all. Can he get her to overcome her aversion, or will he be shunned in class forever?
Fifty Shades of Raw Sienna
Dissatisfied with her virginal status, 20-year old Sienna is tired of taking matters into her own hands. Gifted with a way of words, she uses her pent-up frustrations as an inspiration to write the next Great American Novel.
Damien, Sienna’s hot 40-year old neighbour, has always had a thing for Sienna. When he accidentally stumbles upon her manuscript he gets the opportunity he’s been waiting for…spanking Sienna raw.
**based on the true life of E. L. James – who is the woman behind the Fifty Shades franchise?**
OMG this is fabulous. Huntrr’gathrr cracked me right up.
Fifty Shades of Madame Razz
Shy, innocent college student Andrew Irons is mortified when, in order to help his room-mate out of a jam, he finds himself interviewing Christina Silver, the wildly successful owner of “Raspberry Shades”, an exclusive “pleasure hotel”, where the positions of window curtains, blinds, and shades indicate the delights served within. But the virginal Andrew is even more disturbed that he is unable to put the delectable, lush, and well-preserved Christina out of his mind.
Christina thought she had overcome her tragic past in the fruit-packing industry by creating the alter-ego of “Madame Razz”, the glistening dominatrix who could reduce men to quivering jelly. But to her own shock, she’s stuck on the sweet and delectable Andrew; and she’s determined that he’s ripe for the picking. And pulping. And simmering. And spreading….
Will Christina be able to re-strain herself for Andrew? Or will he slip away?
And will he ever be able to accept the bitter tang of the Ma’am he laid?
Fifty Shades of Asparagus
Of all the book stores in the world, he had to wander into mine….
Book shop proprietor Lemon is tired of all the same boring men she’s been going out with: jocks, geeks, freaks, drummers, your average joe, they’re all the same after a while. She wants someone different, something different….
Asparagus, or Gus as he’s known, wants a woman, but not just any woman. She has to be smart and funny and kind, but more than that, she has blend well with him. Finding someone like that is a near insurmountable feat for him. It’s not easy being green after all. Or a six-foot tall walking, talking vegetable. Trying to get someone to look past his appearance to the person he is inside has been impossible. It doesn’t help that after Gus’ buds open, his shoot quickly become woody. Talk about embarrassing!
On a miserably rainy evening, feeling down in the dumps after a date that ended before it ever began, Gus wanders into Lemon’s bookstore in the hopes of finding a book to take his mind off his troubles. What he finds instead is the zesty morsel he’s been dreaming of all his life. Although he mills between the bookshelves, he can’t keep his mind off the lady of his dreams and wonders what he can do to make her his. Luckily for Gus, he has nothing to worry about, he doesn’t have to do a thing. Yet. When Lemon catches sight of her lone customer, she doesn’t believe what she’s seeing! Her secret fantasy has come to life! She’ll stop at nothing to have….
Fifty Shades of Asparagus
1970s. Brightly colored cover. Lots of peculiar and painful looking positions for the hero and heroine. Yep, I can see this.
Fifty Shades of Bubble Gum
Sabrina Rose may have have grown up in a circus, but she has yet to walk a tight rope as hazardous as love!
The former rubber-girl isn’t sure what to expect when she is hired by bubble gum mogul Drake Garret to be the new face of Garret Gum, and it isn’t until she signs on that she realizes she will have to become a Garret!
Forced to marry Drake or lose the money she needs to save the circus Sabrina must learn to blow – bubbles of love!
She has caught his eye long ago, but Drake never thought it will be this hard to bend a rubber-girl to his will!
Drake built his chewable empire by relying on his instinct and determination. When he takes his niece to the circus, the delicious looking Sabrina sparks a new vision for a line of revolutionary adult bubble gum, and for a chance at a new life for Drake!
But will Sabrina ever be able to let go of the circus? and is she ready for what Drake wants of her? Can Drake be brave enough to show her his soft pink core beneath his cool mint shell?
Is love too much of a stretch?!
Fifty Shades of Razzmic Berry.
Anita Dick knew that Howie Feltersnatch was the man for her. Not only was he hot, a Ph.D., a leftie, had a horse sized willie, a billionaire, a lover of Razzmic Berry Bubble Yum Bubble Gum, AND a closet transvestite but he liked her, too.
Fifty Shades of Timberwolf:
Ulfric had become alpha male werewolf of the White Fang Pack—but at the price of the only woman he had ever loved running off with his younger brother, Woodman.
Zerlina was running away from her taxidermist ex-boyfriend, Leo. Everything had been going well, until the guy found out that when Zerlina changed, her form had the most luxurious pelt.
Will Ulfric find love again? Will he and Zerlina defeat Leo and his ring of poaching henchment? Will Zerlina let Ulfric run his hands through her luxurious fur coat with its fifty shades . . . of timberwolf.
Fifty Shades of Sasquach Socks
When Jenny joined the search for Bigfoot she never imagined that laundry would play such an important part. Once sasquach is found, though, it’s discovered that he’s been hiding from society solely because of his smelly socks. Can Jenny overcome her revulsion and return the socks to a bright white or will she turn and run from the funk and true love?
Fifty Shades of Lumber
Skylar Larch believes the local forest is important enough to save, even if it means handcuffing herself between the tender saplings and the yawing approach of the tractors. No matter how dangerous, the trees are worth it. The buzz of excitement she’s getting from the cuffs is just a bonus.
Richard Pine is determined to keep the family timber business producing so he doesn’t have to drop to being merely a millionaire, but with the rise of ebook popularity, the pulp paper mill is now a thing of the past. The future is to be found in the necessities of life found inside the screens of a book. Important objects like bats. And paddles, and nicely turned canes. Flexible and yet firm enough to impart just the right…
Ahem, where was I?
When Richard discovers production has been halted by one slight, most likely virginal, woman, he moves to directly confront the invader in his woods. (I hope you see the coming puns…) Even the forecast of an impending tornado can’t stop him from using his billionaire feet to find the nubile Skylar and convince her to turn over a new leaf.
Around them, the whipping wind whips the whip-like saplings in the most delightful way, and soon the wood isn’t the only thing growing hard and less flexible. It’s a knotty situation to be sure, and only through lots and lots of shrubbery jokes will the final outcome be a happy ever after.
Christian Grey marries Ana. She has twins. She stops working and sleeping as both babies are colicy and prone to ear infections. She never wants to have sex because she is exhausted, her nipples are sore from breast feeding, and all she wants is 8, no make that 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Her inner godess has packed up and moved to a woman without infants. Christian is sad. He is 50 shades of blue, Grey.
Fifty Shades of Cyber Grape: An Extraterrestrial Tale of a Lack of Space…Ejection
Thlwamwareen, prince of a warlike alien race, accidentally beams up Francesca, an 19th century noblewoman on her way to join a convent. Thlwamwareen knows instantly that Francesca is his true bloodmate because of the instantaneous change in his body chemistry – one effect of which is a case of vividly purple twig and berries until their mating is complete. But Francesca is not so sure about this whole alien-amorous-congress thing and refuses his advances while demanding to be sent back to the Sisters of Chastity. What follows is a tale of culture, romance, adventure, and violent, violet urges!
Fifty Shades of Absolute Zero
The Cool Cat…
Post-doctoral student Ben Kolder is determined to record the “impossible temperature:” zero degrees kelvin. He’s never had trouble concentrating on his work. But when he sees his new lab assistant, “physical chemistry” takes on a whole new meaning…
The Ice Queen…
Ima Friezen doesn’t have time for distractions. If the lab achieves success while she’s there, she’s guaranteed acceptance to virtually any graduate program. Sure, her research partner is cute, but he’d never be interested in a zero like her…
Their research may be ice-cold, but will the tension between Ben and Ima become too hot to handle?
Find out this Fall, in Fifty Shades of Absolute Zero!
Fifty Shades of Salmon
He was a were-bear, she was a were-fish. Their love knew no boundaries of species, but could they both survive their first bout of oral sex?
Fifty Shades of Very Cherry
It was every romance – the experienced man with the young, hotter than hot, ingenue. She’s savy, spunky, sweet. But she’s got a very cherry and there’s only one man in this world who can pop it.
They met in war-torn Bosnia, two people who should have been enemies, but instead became passionate lovers. Their romance was a fragile flower blooming in the bomb-battered streets; tender moments stolen in bunkers and abandoned buildings. They wished it could last forever; but the certain knowledge that they must someday part – perhaps forever – made their love FIFTY SHADES OF BITTERSWEET.
A Lifetime original movie, written by Nicholas Sparks and sponsored by Hallmark…
Fifty Shades of Jasper
Jasper Stone was the CEO of Stones Foundation; the family business dedicated to making the finest jewellery with the most precious stones. Making women swoon and men go bankrupt since 1985.
But Jasper doesn’t believe in love and pities the fools who think jewellery can buy them love…that is until he meets Jade Zircon.
Jade, with her flaming wavy red hair and cold blue eyes that would do Medusa proud. He must have her! All Jasper wants to do is make sweet hot love with her wearing nothing but his best stones….but would Jade give him the time of the day?
Jade Zircon was wedding photographer who was burnt one too many times by love. But her attraction to the dynamic black-haired green eyed Sex God Jasper could be her undoing. All she wants was to scratch the itch until Jasper makes her go up in flames…but can she trust her heart not to get involved?
50 Shades of Cedar Chest
He kidnapped her on her wedding day. Drunken but dominating he stole the young Miss Regina Mayfirst out her bedroom window, in the only way a scoundrel of an Earl could. She might have escaped too, if she hadn’t hit her head on the window frame.
When the Earl of Cedarfield woke up beside the debutante he was sure was engaged to his cousin, he didn’t know what to think. Last night did not seem to be just another night of drunken reverie any longer.
The Earl’s drunken philandering brought them together, but would Regina be able to see beyond his silky cedar colored chest, to the man of depth who hid behind a drunken but powerful facade?
50 Shades of the Winter Wizard…
The story of a silly woman, and the wizard who wanted to rule her.
Princess Perfume just knew that Prince Charming would come to rescue her soon. He had to. She just wasn’t strong enough to last in this dingy dungeon. The smell of ogre’s odor and gargoyle gas was getting to her. The last time the Winter Wizard came to see her she nearly (almost) agreed to every one of his demands, just to escape the smell. But how could she become his consort? She was in love with her Prince Charming. Wasn’t she?
50 Shades of Screamin’ Green
Violet and Amber had been frenemies since the age of six. Everything has always been a competition between them, through middle school it was all innocent fun – whose colouring was most between the lines, who could tie their shoes first. As they got older things began to get more serious – who got the best mark on their Maths test, whose abstract crayon installations won more praise in Art. When they parted ways and went to separate colleges they lost touch and the thrill of the competition.
Ten years on and Violet and Amber reunite at their high school reunion. Things get heated when Amber boasts she could get any man before Violet could, even former high school quarterback turned doctor (and volunteer fireman (YES REALLY !)) Connor ‘Smokey’ Topaz.
It’s going to be a heat wave when these ladies fight for Topaz’s touch.
Who is going to end up screamin’ with bliss?
Who is going to end up green with envy?
Fifty Shades of Piggy Pink
After Darlene Smith graduates from an agricultural program at her university, she starts an internship at a small farm. In terribly predictable fashion, the farmer’s son (Thom, the super-sexy stud) falls madly in lust with her.
Like, crazy-pants, must-screw-on-sacks-of-feed lust, which started right after Thom pulled Darlene out of the pig pen just before one of the boars would have eaten her face.
But does Darlene love him? Is she just scratching an itch that none of the men on campus could ever quite reach? Is she simply grateful that Thom’s sucking her face instead of trying to eat it?
BTW, the webcomic PvP http://www.pvponline.com has a main character named Brent Sienna. And the strip’s creator freely admits that his name was inspired by the classic crayon color Burnt Sienna.
Fifty Shades of Denim
A BILLIONAIRE IN A TEXAS TUXEDO?
Journalist Indigo Skye wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she was assigned to write a feature about oil tycoon Stone Wash, but it certainly wasn’t the tall, dark, enigmatic man in mismatched acid wash standing before her. The commanding demeanor, the faint aroma of chewing tobacco and stale Budweiser, the air of emotional detachment, the flowing mullet… combined, they should have been repulsive, but Indigo found herself drawn to him in a way she couldn’t explain. And there was certainly no explanation for how she reacted when he made her a shocking proposition.
A DAMSEL IN DISTRESSED DUNGAREES
Stone knew from the moment he laid eyes on Indigo that he had to possess her. Not a man to give up control, he soon found a way to get her begging for him to unzip her perfectly-faded Levis. As the pair found themselves tumbling headlong into a passionate affair, breaking taboo after taboo, two questions remained: could Stone keep himself from falling in love with the woman who fit him like she’d been tailor-made? And how far would Indigo go to please the man who was so skilled at making her squeal like a pig?
Fifty Shades of Inchworm
He was a man with a secret that he was determined to keep at all costs. Nobody laying eyes on Cody Frost would ever guess how it haunted his every waking moment. Now, with a rival in town the stakes begin to climb. Would he succumb to the temptation to up the ante and go for an adjustment that would enable him to steal the woman he worshiped from afar from his rival’s grasp?
Mira Shadrick would have told him the prize was hollow, but, newly dumped by her fiancé, and decidedly cynical about men in general, she has more fun watching the eligible portion of Twisted Hill’s population make fools of themselves competing for the ultimate bragging rights, than in consoling someone with a fixation about what’s in his underwear.
When Frost faces the ultimate betrayal it is up to Mira to teach him that big doesn’t necessarily mean adept, and he might just have had a lucky escape.
Fifty Shades of Bubble Gum
She was a happy-go-lucky owner of a candy store in a small town in sunny California.
He was a dentist with a secret sweet tooth who had just moved to town. He popped into her store one morning on the way to the office for his daily chewing gum fix. The attraction was instant and mutual. But will he be able to overcome the knowledge that she spends her life seducing youngsters into a life of tooth decay and cavities? Will she be able to ignore the fact that he preaches against her products to whoever will stand still long enough? Especially since he can’t control his own addiction?
Perhaps they’ll both change their ways and take over the town in an endless cycle of candy -dental work – more candy that will ensure a perpetual stream of customers and financial success to the both of them.
Or maybe they will join forces and start a new-line of sugar-free candy and gum for all.
Fifty Shades of Cosmic Cobalt
(WARNING: hot and steamy male/male sex)
Cobalt was a Fuzzy, from planet Fuzzy Wuzzy. The Fuzzy’s were cat shifters with fur if many different colors: Bubblegum, Inchworm, Piggy pink, Screamin’ Green, Jasper and Booger Buster being a few. His family had been hunted for their prized blue fur and he was the last blue Fuzzy left in the universe. Cobalt was a Cosmic Cat, one of an elite group of space defenders on planet Fuzzy Wuzzy. His 7’ 6” height and super cat strength had made him the leader of his squad in a very short time.
Razz Berry was a human from the colony on Mars. He was a slave in the household of Asparagus. Asparagus was the worst kid of hunter there was. He not only killed animals for their fur but also captured some of them and tried to get them to mate with different animals and produce hybrids that he could then sell as rarities. One of Razz’ many duties was to look after the captured animals. Since Razz was small, only 5’5” and 100 lbs soaking wet, Asparagus did not think he would be able to free the animals and help them escape.
One morning Razz saw a beautiful cobalt cat in the dungeon. He had been badly hurt with cuts and bruises all over his huge body and was shoved into a small cage where he couldn’t move. Razz had to help.
Discover what happens when Razz finds out that Cobalt is not just a color……
Oh, this is going to be terrible, but I can’t help but join the fun! 🙂
Fifty Shades of Macaroni and Cheese
Bob Dinky has always had a fondness for food; he blames his mother as she used to reward him with food as a child. Now, at 45 and still living in his mother’s house, Bob begins to look at his food with a new passion…if only he had someone to share it with!
Izzy Mac wishes to break out of her boring mold of a life. She’s tired of sitting at home with her 12 cats, wishing that the men in her romance novels were real. When she sees a personal add that declares “PlayfulFood is looking for his own EasyMac” and wishes “..to dive into her cheesiness..”, Izzy thinks it must be fate—Easy, Izzy, almost the same, right? Off to find her true love, Izzy is a bit surprised when she meets Bob, a portly man who lusts for food as much as most men lust for women. But can she show him that women can be just as satisfying as food? And will Bob be able to convince her that playing with your food can be oh so delightful? After all, what could be more exciting than licking cheese sauce off of random body parts?
WARNING: This title contains an excessive amount of cheesey-ness (“It’s the cheesiest!” raves fans), food fights, and delicious food being placed in some not so delicious places…May cause food cravings, nausea, uncontrollable laughter, yeast infections, gas, FoodED (inability to sustain an erection without food in sight), and even death by eating. Proceed with caution, enjoy at your own risk, and never read while drinking—unless you wish to start a drinking game with “Cheese” as the key word.
*snickers* Well, that was fun. But not nearly as fun as reading everyone elses! 🙂
Enjoy!
TBQ
Fifty Shades of Sepia
Nora Langley has it all. Money. Power. Looks. As CEO of the successful, lucrative, and very expensive makeup company, Mad Women, she has climbed to the top . . . and will soon be marketing her line in stores like Target. She has no time for love, but when a new, hot, and much younger photographer is brought in to shoot the campaign, love might not be out of the question.
Jack Temple has a red room. He’s a photographer, after all. Getting to shoot the Mad Women ads will jettison his career into the prime-time. But he never expects for the cool, leggy brunette from the coffee shop to be his boss. She may be ten years older than him, but he always liked a woman in charge and one who knows her way in and out of the bedroom. But convincing her that his intentions are true isn’t so easy.
Fifty Shades of Dingy Dungeon
HE WAS MEAN…
Alone in his mansion on the cliffs outside of town, former Marine and playboy Dirk Beaston terrorized all those who would discover what went on behind the locked basement door. Dirk had come so close to finding the last member of the smuggling ring that killed his beloved father and his plans are almost complete: lure his enemy to the remote location for a holiday and force his full confession. His ruse of being caretaker of the estate was going so well, until she arrived…
AND SHE JUST WANTED TO CLEAN…
Ada Bumbleshoot never met a dust bunny she couldn’t banish or a house she couldn’t manage. Driven by her calling to eradicate lime stains from the earth, Ada proves determined in showing her unknown employer that she can turn even the most neglected mansion in New England into a showplace. Though the presence of a darkly handsome “caretaker” causes more than her nose to itch – she’d love to run her white gloves all over him and not the mantlepiece!
TOGETHER, THEY WOULD UNCOVER A LOVE FREE FROM CRIME AND GRIME
Dirk doesn’t want to see pristine Ada soiled with his dirty hands, even while his interrogation room fills his head for possibilities between them. Ada longs for one night of passion to wrinkle her starched sheets, innocent of exactly how down and dirty Dirk can be. With danger headed in their direction and Ada desperate to scrub the floors of locked rooms she assumes are clogged with fifty shades of dirt, can Dirk succeed in his mission and open his heart to love again?
Find out in… Fifty Shades of Dingy Dungeon!
50 Shades of Lamps
Megan Mulligan has finally hit the bigtime at her international interior design firm. She’s been tapped to redecorate the exclusive private Swiss ski resort Clusters under the discerning eye of Jack Cluster-Falk himself.
If the altitude doesn’t kill her, the Continental charm of the world’s most reclusive bilionaire hotel magnate might. Swatches and paint chips cannot protect Megan from Jack’s intense desire to bend her to his will and unleash her secret yodeler.
Global warming has nothing on Jack. The nights may be sub-arctic, but he could melt the Alps, polar icecaps and the most frozen of hearts with one crook of his long, tapered, manicured finger. Can Megan survive being tied in curtain cords and mummified in 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets as Jack tests each and every mattress in the hotel? Or will Jack realize his room key to happiness is giving Megan a free hand and down-filled duvets?
Fifty Shades of Puce
The puce and eggshell hospital corridors echo with the moist sound of promise. That promise whispers humidily in nursing assistant Sophie Jenkins’ ear as he brushes past her in the corridors of Midtown Central Hospital. It saturates her work shifts with his shiny shamrock gaze; it tempts her with the warmth of his mahogany fauxhawk. Sophie’s will is eroding under Dr. Royal Carbine’s fifty shades of seduction.
Dr. Royal Carbine has never found that certain je ne sais quoi he needs, he demands, he prays for in his partners. The new nursing assistant Sophie has caught more than his eye; her reserved mulberry gaze taunts him with the scent of her capitulation. He knows beneath those unholy eucalyptus colored scrubs waits a woman chaffing to yeild her tender self to his special brand of doctoring.
Royal knows Sophie can’t blend with the puce colored hospital walls forever, the lure of their crystalline attraction resonates with all the colors of a crayon box. Which of the 50 shades inherit in their magnetism for each other will triumph? Royal only hopes it will be reflected in the gleaming leather of his whip soon…
Fifty Shades of Goldenrod
When Alexander Golden—billionaire, philanthropist, Olympic swimmer, and American Envoy to the Togolese Republic—meets Genevieve Browning, it’s lust at first sight. She’s everything he’s ever looked for in a woman. But, when he confesses to her the only was that he can achieve sexual satisfaction is by copulating in the plain view of barnyard animals, their relationship hits a snag. Genevieve is terribly allergic to grass, trees, and weed pollen. Will Allegra D be enough to save their relationship or will Alexander have to choose between the woman he wants and the sexual satisfaction he deserves?
Fifty Shades of blue green
When Mark gets out of rehab, Senna decides it’s time he knows he has a two year old son. She left when she got pregnant because she knew from bitter experience that addicts can never change for others. They have to chose change for themselves. Now that Mark has made that choice other choices loom. Will he be able to forgive and accept Senna’s choices and does love stand a chance against the odds?
There is very little blue or green in this story. Both protagonists have brown eyes. BDSM, even very mangled BDSM, plays no part whatsoever. In fact, the author really wanted to call it THE ROCK STAR’S SECRET BABY, but her publisher decided to jump on a different trend.
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It was a haven…
Beautiful Gypsy street dancer La Esmerelda has taken sanctuary in the Notre Dame de Paris after an altercation with Archdeacon Claude Frollo led to a conviction on exaggerated charges and a near execution. It was only through the kindness of bell-ringer Quasimodo that she escapes after he swings down to free her from the noose and bring her to his home in the bell tower.
It was a prison…
He has spent his lifetime tied to the cathedral by the evil Frollo, and until La Esmerelda takes pity on him after he is tortured, he has never known the kindness of human touch. As the days wear on and their friendship deepens, he realizes that she is all he has ever wanted.
It could not be home forever…
Just as Quasimodo begins to believe that he has earned La Esmerelda’s love, a jealous Frollo returns, kidnaps La Esmerelda, hides her in one of the crypts below the cathedral, and uses the dark magic that in his lust for her he has cultivated to turn the cathedral herself into a chamber of execution. Will Quasimodo’s strength be enough to find La Esmerelda and carry her to safety, or is it already too late to get through the…
Fifty Shades of Gargoyle Gas