I did a lot of vacation reading last week, and one thing that jumped out at me (not literally but if it had been it would have been awesome) is the relentless pursuit of cliches when describing nipples.
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here: there's a sexy scene, and the characters undress. The sex scene – which is, it seems to me, more often from the male point of view than the female – includes a catalog description of the heroine's body.
First, I don't know why there's a need for a list of descriptions for each part, particularly the breasts. There are times when I see the catalog of naked parts and skim right over it, because it seems necessary only because the reader might need to be reminded THEY ARE NAKED NOW SEE THE NIPPLES?
Lately, the nipple descriptions are the ones that catch my attention… because they're all the same. The female nipples are pert, rosy, ruches, puckered, taut, and most often compared to fruit, like cherries, strawberries, or berries in general (no use of kumquat that I've found).
The monotony and sameness of these nipples is starting to bug me. It reminds me of recipes that suggest a dish might be great with a “crisp salad” or a “loaf of crusty bread.” No, thanks, I'll have a salad that's three days old and limp, possibly slimy, and I prefer my bread inside out, no crust.
Overstating the obvious is one thing, but I keep running into these nipples of monotony. Here, a handful of cherrypicked (snrk) examples.
Cool air kissed her skin, and Lucy was mortified to discover her breast bared, a small little apple cupped in his hand, with a dark berry for a nipple.
“Cherries,” he murmured as his thumb and forefinger gently pinched….
Pride & Passion
Charlotte Featherstone
December 2011
Pink nipples. Like ripe cherries. He'd always liked cherries.
Eternal Flame
Cynthia Eden
November 2010
If anything, her nipples were harder – ripe cherries begging to be plucked.
Fire Wolf
Anh Leod
He bent to take one nipple in his mouth. She tasted sweet, like ripe cherries, like a ripe pomegranate he'd tasted once in Mexico.
Lady Lavender
Lynna Banning
February 2011
Luc's eyes glittered darkly as he looked down at her breasts, the areolae surrounding the nipples a deep dusky pink, those nipples dark and swollen, like two ripe berries waiting to be tasted. Eaten.
His head lowered so that he might taste one of those berries.
Annie and the Red-Hot Italian
Carole Mortimer
January 2011
Her nipples felt like ripe berries rolling between his fingers, and suddenly he was overwhelmed by the need dot taste her, to draw her nipple deep into his mouth.
The Touch of Fire
Linda Howard
September 1997
He tore the fragile lace, but her breasts were released to him, her hard little nipples like ripe berries. A delicate, fragile pink. Hard, stiff.
Coyote's Mate, Book 2
Lora Leigh
February 2009
I do have to give a few props to Karen Anders, who worked actual cherries into the nipple scene:
Her nipples puckered, tightening into hard beads that looked as delicious as two cherries.
She curled her hand around the nape of his neck and drew his head downward….
Reaching into the colander, he grabbed a few cherries and crushed them, releasing the juices locked inside. Then he smeared his fingers over each of her nipples and heard her suck in a breath.
Deliciously Dangerous
Karen Anders
April 2010
While many of the women in romance have berry nipples (which sounds like the name of one of Strawberry Shortcake's less savory friends) men are not execpt from nipple cliche, either.
One flat male nipple came into view and she circled the areola with a fingertip.
Beyond Lust
Mary White
August 2005
Leaning forward, she braced her hands on the mattress next to him and licked first one flat male nipple, then the other.
Primal Male
Sasha White
November 2008
She found his flat, male nipples and teased them.
Still Mine
Mary Wine
May 2008
She looked down at her breasts, then over to Eirik's flat male nipples.
The Tarnished Lady
Sandra Hill
June 2011
I'm personally not a fan of the “flat male nipple” because if it were not a “male” nipple, WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD IT BE?
Copper pennies, that's what. Duh.
His skin gleamed like brown satin, the small flat nipples like dark copper pennies.
Somebody Killed His Editor
Josh Lanyon
April 2010
She toyed with his male nipples that were flat as copper pennies and felt delight when they became erect.
The Dark Earl
Virginia Henley
September 2011
His chest was wide and smooth, the muscles defined and his nipples as dusky as two copper pennies.
Secrets & Seductions
Pamela Toth
Do yourself a favor, and do not search for “nipples ripe berries” or any other variation of nipple monotony on Google:Books. It's worse than excerpts from Longarm, let me tell you.
So what to do with all these nipples, all this nipple monotony?
We need MORE NIPPLE DESCRIPTIONS!
Ergo, it is Nipple Contest Time. Your task: come up with a description for nipples, male, female or both, that can stand in place of the cliched description. You don't have to reference fruit, flatness, or currency. You can compare them to whatever you want. Your job is to describe them as best you can.
I will be judging the entries in 48 hours, but you can “like” the ones you like best to try to sway my voting.
The winner shall receive the people's ovation and fame forever, and a $25 gift card to the bookstore of their choice. Whee!
Standard disclaimers apply: I'm not being compensated for this giveaway. Must be over 18 to win, while wearing flat cherries. Your nipples may and should vary. Sometimes they even look like thumbs.
Now: go forth and describe nipples with better descriptions!
Lipstick?!!! OMG, that would be such a smeary disaster! She’d look like she was violated by Ronald McDonald…or worse, Pennywise! (The clown from IT)
His chest was thick with dark, wiry hair only interrupted by two small nipples like quarter-sized puddles in a sea of crabgrass. She noted that one nipple was concave, tucked away like the pimiento of a stuffed olive. She began to suck it in earnest until it popped like the button of a turkey roaster—oh yes, this bird was done and ready for eating.
I’m on my second round of chemotherapy for breast cancer, two more to go, then radiation, and so on. I am so greatful to have minimal scaring, two pretty much matching breasts and two natural nipples, my surgeon was a God! It can be grim but I laughed so hard coffee came out of my nose.
Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…
“Ay caramba,” moaned Ramon as she nibbled his nubbling garbanzos.
Her own dulces de leche were capped by the most perfect pair of sombreros he had ever seen: the crowns high, taut and pliable, bumpy like plaited straw; the areolas were brims round and wide enough to cast anyone else in the shade.
“Amorcito,” he murmured, “Let me teach you the Mexican Hat Dance.”
Under his eyes, the tight pink point her nipple streamed out like watercolor on vellum.
Maybe the author watched that Steve Martin movie – the one where he plays a guy married to a woman who insists on remaining a virgin, so he has an affair, and one of his fantasies is for his wife to apply lipstick to her nipples.
His nipples looked like two chickenpox, pink circles each with a blister in the middle.
I almost peed myself from laughing so hard over this post. Seriously. And things like this is why I’m addicted to this blog!
Umm red velvet Hershey kisses breasts?
His manly chest was wide and lightly furred, and peeking through his sexy man pelt were his nipples. They were the color of wet bricks. And nestled there in the hair they reminded me of a kangaroo’s teat buried inside the pouch waiting to be sucked on by a little roo. I love it when a man’s nipples make me think of episodes of wild kingdom! Mwrrrarrr
“sandy lair”? SANDY LAIR?
I…just fell a little bit in love with you.
Female: her nipples were hard and red as rubies
Male: his nipples were dark and flat, like slices of pepperoni, and tasted just as good
This is a completely awesome thread! Here’s my contribution:
Stanley held his breath as Audrey tossed her t-shirt aside, revealing raisin-colored nipples the size of a midget’s thumb. “Some guys have been…kind of put off by them,” she half-apologized while peeking up at him through her lashes. “No worries,” Stanley hastened to assure her. “I heard it through the grape vine…”
I couldn’t stop myself. Bad self.
As she slowly disrobed her nipples appeared like knobs on a candy machine, yearning to be taken advantage of.
Cliff found there were always delights to be had from a woman’s body, for though Marie’s breasts were small, her nipples responded to his touch like firm, pink pencil erasers…
or
Lisa playfully kissed her way up his chest. She took his nipple in her mouth and rolled her tongue around the nub, like the head bitten off a gummy bear and just as sweet…
I am not a writer, but I know how to quote from the classics:
“I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous …”
from Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift (1726)
Her nipples were like two ack-ack guns, revolving to follow him as he moved.
This is terrible. I’ll have to remember to use it in a novel.
Her nipples were so hard you could cut glass with them.
Pebbled, like hard rough peach granite. He sucked one of those rosy rocks and was rewarded with [a broken tooth] what felt like a geological experience as they became harder and the earth moved.
Steph from http://fangswandsandfairydust….
Giggling so hard at this post. May I offer three of my personal non-fruit favourites: ‘nipples as tight as wheel nuts’, ‘standing out like organ stops’, or ‘as proud as chapel hat pegs’.
I don’t know about you, but once, at an RWA conference, we were served this rounded mound of creamy mocha chocolate mouse decorated with a twisted tip of whipped cream finished off with a chocolate covered coffee bean. You should have heard the laughter in the room. They looked just like breasts on a plate.
Oh, man, I just noticed this post, and now I’m laughing. The nipple thing—yeah. Why do we need descriptions of nipples at all? And why do women always have to taste “sweet”? Who the hell tastes sweet?
But you know what my real hobby horse is? That all romance men smell like sandalwood. I swear to god, if I run into one more sandalwood-smelling man, I’m going to shoot him.